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Grandparents’ “Help” With Their 12-Year-Old Grandson Makes His Dad Sick, They Face The Consequences
Man feeling stressed and guilty in a brightly colored room, illustrating grandparents guilt trip kid issues.

Grandparents Cross The Line With Grandkid, Dad Decides To Cut Them Off Completely

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No parent gets it right all the time, that’s just reality. Most people grow up with parents who tried their best, even if they messed up along the way. But then there’s another reality as well — some parents can be super controlling or intrusive.

That’s exactly what one man experienced when his parents started involving his 12-year-old son in conflicts from his divorce.

Sharing his story online, he revealed how his child was being asked to shoulder emotional responsibilities meant for adults — a situation that forced him to take drastic steps to protect his family.

RELATED:

    A man’s parents started interfering in his family life after his divorce

    Image credits: The Yuri Arcurs Collection / freepik (not the actual photo)

    He said they involved his 12-year-old child in the emotional family drama

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    Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits: krakenimages.com / freepik (not the actual photo)

    Image credits: VoltNauti21

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    Even well-meaning parents can sometimes cross a line

    Some parents think that just because they brought their child into this world, they get some sort of VIP pass to their life.

    They mean well (usually), but that doesn’t change the fact that they might overstep, micromanage, control, or ignore their child’s needs.

    Experts say this kind of parenting often looks more like control than love.

    “The biggest toxic trait that I see loving parents do by mistake is not understanding that their child has their own path and purpose in life,” says Dawn Friedman, a licensed professional clinical counselor.

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    Being overly controlling with their kids can be a serious toxic parenting trait, experts say. It can look like interfering in their child’s relationships, social life, everyday decisions and even undermining their independence.

    “If you have toxic parents, you may struggle with, or have struggled with, anxiety, depression, and anger in response to feeling manipulated, deceived, pressured, or even humiliated,” writes family psychologist Jeffrey Bernstein, PhD.

    Research shows that adult children who view their parents as overly intrusive or controlling are less likely to turn to them for support, particularly during important life decisions.

    There’s a concept in family systems theory called enmeshment. It’s when personal boundaries are so blurred that one person’s choices feel like a direct reflection on someone else. Instead of seeing a child as independent, their decisions are taken personally.

    For example, it can show up as disappointment when a child chooses a different career path or a romantic partner, or as subtle frustration when they don’t follow the same traditions or lifestyle they were raised with.

    Over time, this way of thinking can make the child feel responsible for meeting expectations rather than making their own choices.

    Setting boundaries can be key to healthy relationships

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    Experts generally agree that the first big step in dealing with super intrusive or entitled parents is literally naming your limits.

    It can look like refusing to discuss personal topics, setting boundaries around how much time you or your children spend with them, and taking a step back when things get too messy.

    “Parents don’t suddenly change and become nontoxic. You may have to distance yourself from them to heal and that can be a hard pill to swallow,” says psychologist Chivonna Childs.

    “Setting boundaries is exactly what you would do with any other toxic person in your life, so it should be the same with family. We have to let them know what’s appropriate and what’s not because boundaries will help you heal. If they can’t respect those boundaries, we have to love them from a distance. That allows us to be free from their toxicity,” she adds.

    When boundary setting fails, cutting off ties with parents is not unheard of. In fact, in a recent survey, 16 % of American adults said they are currently estranged from a parent.

    Out of these, 34% cited manipulative behavior as the reason for estrangement. About another 34% cited physical or emotional abuse, while 31% said lies or betrayal were the main reasons.

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    As conversations around boundaries become more mainstream, more adults are realizing that relationships, even within families, don’t automatically guarantee unlimited access.

    At the end of the day, this is about more than just one family’s conflict… it’s a reminder that protecting your kids’ emotional well-being sometimes means making tough choices with the people you love.

    It also raises a question for all of us: how far would you go to keep your child out of family drama, and what boundaries would you be willing to enforce to make that happen?

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    A lot of comments were filled with outrage against the man’s parents

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    Mantas Kačerauskas

    Mantas Kačerauskas

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    As a Visual Editor at Bored Panda, I indulge in the joy of curating delightful content, from adorable pet photos to hilarious memes, all while nurturing my wanderlust and continuously seeking new adventures and interests—sometimes thrilling, sometimes daunting, but always exciting!

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    Mantas Kačerauskas

    Mantas Kačerauskas

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    As a Visual Editor at Bored Panda, I indulge in the joy of curating delightful content, from adorable pet photos to hilarious memes, all while nurturing my wanderlust and continuously seeking new adventures and interests—sometimes thrilling, sometimes daunting, but always exciting!

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    Ridhima Shukla

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    Ridhima Shukla

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    Jonas Žvilius

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    In my spare time, I enjoy creating art - both in traditional and digital form, mainly in the form of painting and animation. Other interests include gaming and music. Favorite bands include Swans, The Strokes, The Beatles.

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    Jonas Žvilius

    Jonas Žvilius

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    In my spare time, I enjoy creating art - both in traditional and digital form, mainly in the form of painting and animation. Other interests include gaming and music. Favorite bands include Swans, The Strokes, The Beatles.

    What do you think ?
    Janelle Collard
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Who supports the ex-spouse over their own child??? Good for OP for cutting his parents off.

    Binky Melnik
    Community Member
    7 hours ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Someone who thinks their son is doing everything wrong? I remember thinking while I was reading it that they must know something about their son (he smokes weed, they can’t stand one of his friends, he’s irreligious, etc) and so think the ex-wife would make a better parent? I was also struck by the wife siding with the bad kid over their son, which reminding me about my folks taking EVERYONE’S word over MINE for everything, as if I were some kinda liar. (I wasn’t but I was the first-born, so I wonder now whether my folks figured they’d made a lotta errors with me?) (Though I *would* lie to try to get out of beatings; when I chewed on the dashboard while my mom was shopping, I blamed my cousin … who was at home about fifteen miles away.) (That was the only time I lied: When I knew a beating was coming. I was just trying to avoid the rubber jump rope, the hair brush, the wooden spoon, the flyswatter, and so on. I just didn’t wanna hurt, so it was always “I didn’t do that!”) Their relationship with the ex is really odd, or else the husband is really bad? Or so they think?

    Load More Replies...
    Alexandra
    Community Member
    2 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Using a child as a tool for self-betterment is outrageous and straight up bad parenting.

    Kate Johnson
    Community Member
    Premium
    5 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They wouldn't be seeing that kid again for a long time if he was mine!

    Load More Comments
    Janelle Collard
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Who supports the ex-spouse over their own child??? Good for OP for cutting his parents off.

    Binky Melnik
    Community Member
    7 hours ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Someone who thinks their son is doing everything wrong? I remember thinking while I was reading it that they must know something about their son (he smokes weed, they can’t stand one of his friends, he’s irreligious, etc) and so think the ex-wife would make a better parent? I was also struck by the wife siding with the bad kid over their son, which reminding me about my folks taking EVERYONE’S word over MINE for everything, as if I were some kinda liar. (I wasn’t but I was the first-born, so I wonder now whether my folks figured they’d made a lotta errors with me?) (Though I *would* lie to try to get out of beatings; when I chewed on the dashboard while my mom was shopping, I blamed my cousin … who was at home about fifteen miles away.) (That was the only time I lied: When I knew a beating was coming. I was just trying to avoid the rubber jump rope, the hair brush, the wooden spoon, the flyswatter, and so on. I just didn’t wanna hurt, so it was always “I didn’t do that!”) Their relationship with the ex is really odd, or else the husband is really bad? Or so they think?

    Load More Replies...
    Alexandra
    Community Member
    2 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Using a child as a tool for self-betterment is outrageous and straight up bad parenting.

    Kate Johnson
    Community Member
    Premium
    5 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They wouldn't be seeing that kid again for a long time if he was mine!

    Load More Comments
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