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Woman Ghosts 30 Longtime Friends After None Of Them Show Up To Her 30th Birthday
Birthdays are often big events because they symbolize a person making it through another year and overcoming all the obstacles that came their way. It’s a time when people can sit back and enjoy being celebrated by those who love them.
Unfortunately, not everyone gets that kind of support on their birthdays. The woman in this story is a prime example of that, as she had planned a wonderful 30th birthday party and got ghosted by many of her closest friends at the last moment. So, she decided to treat them the same way.
More info: Reddit
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Getting stood up by the people you love on your birthday is one of the worst feelings
Image credits: Diana Reyes / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The poster shared that, in her twenties, she had a great group of friends, and even when she moved away from them, they all kept in touch
Image credits: Tony Pham / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The woman had always been a source of support for many of her friends, which is why, on her 30th birthday, she expected a lot of them to attend her party
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
She spent more than two months organizing a themed 30th birthday party and shared that all of her friends seemed hyped up about the event
Image credits: Pablo Merchán Montes / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
On the day of the actual party, cancellations started rolling in, with some people giving excuses and others saying they were at a music festival with her ex
Image credits: Renny Gamarra / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Only three people showed up for her party, so she went out with them, but as for the rest—she deleted them from her socials and ghosted those who reached out later
Image credits: deleted
The woman did eventually reach out to a few friends who had ghosted her and shared how she needed them to support her, just as she had done for them
The poster had shared that when she had lived in the same area as her best friends, they met almost daily and were very close. After she moved away, she was mainly the one to reach out or offer support to anyone who needed it. In fact, she was considered to be their “go-to” person no matter what.
According to experts, good friends who are empathetic and supportive are often at risk of being taken advantage of. They might end up in one-sided friendships where they constantly provide their time, effort, and resources, only to receive no support back when they are truly in need.
The woman only realized how unfair her friendships were when she planned her 30th birthday party. She spent two months excitedly planning the event, its theme, and sending out invites to her loved ones. Her besties seemed thrilled about the party and ready to celebrate this big occasion with her.
There are very few milestone birthdays in a person’s life, and the 30th is definitely one of them. It’s important because it symbolizes a turning point in an individual’s life when they move on from their youth into early adulthood. This is the time when they might get married, start a family, or set up their own home.
Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The woman realized too late that hardly any of her friends were coming to her party. They all sent in half-hearted cancellation messages, and nobody apologized to her for missing her special event. She felt truly heartbroken over this and couldn’t believe that her friends would ghost her in such a way.
The poster soon realized that she’d never do something like this to her friends. She had always been there for them and made an effort to stay in touch, whereas they never did the same for her. This mass-ghosting really showed everyone’s true colors, which is why she decided to delete all of them from her socials.
When it becomes apparent that a close relationship is one-sided, it’s important to set boundaries and communicate as soon as possible. This means confronting the person about their flakiness and showing that you won’t accept such behavior anymore.
The woman decided to do just that and eventually contacted a few of her close friends to share her feelings. She told them that she wanted her friendships to be more balanced so that it wasn’t just her reaching out all the time, and that they also should make the first move once in a while. This conversation showed her who actually valued her and who didn’t.
Do you think the woman did the right thing by standing up to the friends who ghosted her? Tell us what you would have done if this happened to you.
People sympathized with the poster, but some felt that her friends didn’t attend her event because of how complex her theme was
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What do you think ?
Mel in Georgia 8 months ago
Wow, she really handled this well, giving her friends the opportunity to continue their long friendships while standing up for herself. Don't think I had that kind of maturity and kindness at that age!
FreeTheUnicorn 8 months ago
The numbers are what throw this off for me. If it was 10 close friends and 20 total that were coming from other fitiesz that's really the upper limit of what I can conceive. I never thought of myself as that introverted but I can't imagine having the energy to have 30 close friends. When do you sleep and work? Good luck to OP if she's a real person.
Fellfromthemoon 8 months ago
And she deleted 300 "friends" on social media - her guest list seems to be even longer.
Load More Replies...
Doctor Strange 8 months ago
This is why I don't celebrate my birthday, or try to plan any events really. Every single time, I get people saying they'll be there, so I pour my heart into getting everything ready. Then, inevitably, I get the "oh, I got invited to something else, I'm going to that instead."
KatSaidWhat 8 months ago
Me, last year, turning 50 - not a single person could come and see me that weekend despite me saying I will be in THEIR city. So on the day I was meant to go, I had my first ever panic attack on the way to the station and bailed myself. It really illuminated that I was the one putting any effort into these friendships. Only one person reached out and made me come out the next day to have a birthday lunch.
person (i think) 8 months ago
I’m sorry you had too experience that :(. You deserve better. I hope that everything else has been on an upswing since then!
Load More Replies...
T'Mar of Vulcan 8 months ago
South Africans do this a lot - making plans with groups of people is almost impossible because people always have something else they might go to or might be doing. When I was in France I didn't even tell a French friend of mine because I just assumed she would be too busy or it would be insufficient notice. She was like, "No, it's not a problem! We'll meet at (some famous French restaurant)!" And we did and it was awesome!
Fellfromthemoon 8 months ago
Wow, the only two friends who did answer to OP's message are either newly sober (therefore avoids parties) or prefers something quieter, like going fishing instead of a party (of 300?!?)
LakotaWolf (she/her) 8 months ago
I do personally think that hard-"themed" costume parties for an adult's birthday aren't always the best idea unless the *entire friend group* is friends because of similar interests or shares similar interests and the theme of the party IS that interest - such as everyone is a huge Disney fan, or everyone is a part of the furry fandom, etc., and the party is Disney-themed or "wear your ears and tails" etc. Most people don't have specific costume pieces just laying around and may not be able to afford buying costume bits to dress up as whatever the party's "theme" is. An alternative would be to just have a "costume party" where ANY costume is fine. I can see that it's possible that at least a few of OP's friends didn't want to go to a "geriatrics and nurses" costume party, or didn't have appropriate costumes, or just didn't want to spend hours in costume (I have, it can get really uncomfortable.) That being said, all OP's friends should have acted like the adults they are and said so.
Robert Benson 8 months ago
I would never leave anyone hanging like that unless something completely out of my hands got in the way. If I agree to a thing, then I'm going. I don't care how well I know you or even like you, I always honor my commitments. If I actually like you, then it's just easier :) If anyone needs a guaranteed attendee at an event, I would be glad to help out (if I'm available)
Kat 8 months ago
wow these friends are kind of AHs. I am over 30 and have just a small group of people (maybe like 6), but everyone is super busy so we have our meetings planned sometimes like 2 month ahead and everyone is trying to come, definitely not dropping it for somethink they got invited to later. It´s hard to see, but if your friends really want to see you, they will find the time
K Barnes 8 months ago
I would not want to attend that party (theme and size). I would try to be upfront about that at first. However, if her friends told her well in advance that they couldn't make it (and not because they have better things to do) I don't think she needed to ghost them... what's with deleting 300 so-called friends because of this? Having 30 "close" friends?
Sara Frazer 8 months ago (edited)
Uh, I would NOT want to attend a party where the theme was "geriatric/older people who need constant guidance and care to exist" my husband is in the medical field, working mostly with geriatric and end of life care. I have had my own share of helping and caring for end of life relatives. There is nothing "FuN" or party-material about it. Fúck off with all that, ya weirdo
Svenne O'Lotta 8 months ago
Oh no how dare this random stranger not cater to you specifically? Also you needn't worry because no one would want you at their party, ya freak.
Load More Replies... Kristin 8 months ago
It’s insane how little friendship means to people anymore. Just sad. I get s**t happens in life but so many take advantage of friendships and don’t get me started on relationships lol it’s like cheating is the new normal. I literally have 2 really close friends that are more like sisters than my own sisters. I don’t t know how this person had 30+ people and deleted 300 on social media lol
Mel in Georgia 8 months ago
Wow, she really handled this well, giving her friends the opportunity to continue their long friendships while standing up for herself. Don't think I had that kind of maturity and kindness at that age!
FreeTheUnicorn 8 months ago
The numbers are what throw this off for me. If it was 10 close friends and 20 total that were coming from other fitiesz that's really the upper limit of what I can conceive. I never thought of myself as that introverted but I can't imagine having the energy to have 30 close friends. When do you sleep and work? Good luck to OP if she's a real person.
Fellfromthemoon 8 months ago
And she deleted 300 "friends" on social media - her guest list seems to be even longer.
Load More Replies... Doctor Strange 8 months ago
This is why I don't celebrate my birthday, or try to plan any events really. Every single time, I get people saying they'll be there, so I pour my heart into getting everything ready. Then, inevitably, I get the "oh, I got invited to something else, I'm going to that instead."
KatSaidWhat 8 months ago
Me, last year, turning 50 - not a single person could come and see me that weekend despite me saying I will be in THEIR city. So on the day I was meant to go, I had my first ever panic attack on the way to the station and bailed myself. It really illuminated that I was the one putting any effort into these friendships. Only one person reached out and made me come out the next day to have a birthday lunch.
person (i think) 8 months ago
I’m sorry you had too experience that :(. You deserve better. I hope that everything else has been on an upswing since then!
Load More Replies... T'Mar of Vulcan 8 months ago
South Africans do this a lot - making plans with groups of people is almost impossible because people always have something else they might go to or might be doing. When I was in France I didn't even tell a French friend of mine because I just assumed she would be too busy or it would be insufficient notice. She was like, "No, it's not a problem! We'll meet at (some famous French restaurant)!" And we did and it was awesome!
Fellfromthemoon 8 months ago
Wow, the only two friends who did answer to OP's message are either newly sober (therefore avoids parties) or prefers something quieter, like going fishing instead of a party (of 300?!?)
LakotaWolf (she/her) 8 months ago
I do personally think that hard-"themed" costume parties for an adult's birthday aren't always the best idea unless the *entire friend group* is friends because of similar interests or shares similar interests and the theme of the party IS that interest - such as everyone is a huge Disney fan, or everyone is a part of the furry fandom, etc., and the party is Disney-themed or "wear your ears and tails" etc. Most people don't have specific costume pieces just laying around and may not be able to afford buying costume bits to dress up as whatever the party's "theme" is. An alternative would be to just have a "costume party" where ANY costume is fine. I can see that it's possible that at least a few of OP's friends didn't want to go to a "geriatrics and nurses" costume party, or didn't have appropriate costumes, or just didn't want to spend hours in costume (I have, it can get really uncomfortable.) That being said, all OP's friends should have acted like the adults they are and said so.
Robert Benson 8 months ago
I would never leave anyone hanging like that unless something completely out of my hands got in the way. If I agree to a thing, then I'm going. I don't care how well I know you or even like you, I always honor my commitments. If I actually like you, then it's just easier :) If anyone needs a guaranteed attendee at an event, I would be glad to help out (if I'm available)
Kat 8 months ago
wow these friends are kind of AHs. I am over 30 and have just a small group of people (maybe like 6), but everyone is super busy so we have our meetings planned sometimes like 2 month ahead and everyone is trying to come, definitely not dropping it for somethink they got invited to later. It´s hard to see, but if your friends really want to see you, they will find the time
K Barnes 8 months ago
I would not want to attend that party (theme and size). I would try to be upfront about that at first. However, if her friends told her well in advance that they couldn't make it (and not because they have better things to do) I don't think she needed to ghost them... what's with deleting 300 so-called friends because of this? Having 30 "close" friends?
Sara Frazer 8 months ago (edited)
Uh, I would NOT want to attend a party where the theme was "geriatric/older people who need constant guidance and care to exist" my husband is in the medical field, working mostly with geriatric and end of life care. I have had my own share of helping and caring for end of life relatives. There is nothing "FuN" or party-material about it. Fúck off with all that, ya weirdo
Svenne O'Lotta 8 months ago
Oh no how dare this random stranger not cater to you specifically? Also you needn't worry because no one would want you at their party, ya freak.
Load More Replies... Kristin 8 months ago
It’s insane how little friendship means to people anymore. Just sad. I get s**t happens in life but so many take advantage of friendships and don’t get me started on relationships lol it’s like cheating is the new normal. I literally have 2 really close friends that are more like sisters than my own sisters. I don’t t know how this person had 30+ people and deleted 300 on social media lol
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