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Dad Stands Up To His Sister After She Says His Girls Made Their Cousin Feel Poor
One mom turned to Reddit after an Easter egg hunt sparked a full-blown family conflict.
It all started when her daughters excitedly told their cousin about the candy and gifts they had received.
Her sister-in-law accused the kids of flaunting their privilege. This led to a heated argument between both mothers and fathers, and the drama spilled onto social media, where her in-laws publicly criticized the woman’s parenting.
Now, the mom has turned to the internet to ask whether she handled the situation wrong or was unfairly blamed for simply giving her kids a happy Easter.
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Family holidays can bring joy or total chaos
Image credits: cottonbro studio/Pexels (not the actual photo)
And oftentimes, it all depends on the in-laws
Image credits: SHVETS production/Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: anon
Children from poor families grow up at a disadvantage compared to their richer peers
Image credits: Ivan Samkov/Pexels (not the actual photo)
The sad truth is that children from wealthier families have less stress and longer life expectancies than poorer kids.
A study published earlier this year, which included 1,160 5- to 12-year-olds from the United Kingdom, France, Spain, Norway, Lithuania, and Greece, was the largest done on the associations between wealth, cortisol, and telomeres, the protective caps at the ends of chromosomes that determine biological age.
The results showed that low-income kids produce as much as 23% more cortisol — the “stress hormone” — than their wealthier peers, aging their cells a whopping 10 years.
They also had telomeres of up to 5% shorter than their peers.
“For some children, their economic background may put them at a biological disadvantage compared to those who have a better start in life,” said Dr. Oliver Robinson, one of the study’s authors.
It might be that children from less affluent backgrounds are experiencing greater psychosocial stress, for instance, they may be sharing a bedroom with family members, or they may not have the resources they need for school, like access to a computer for homework.
But different socioeconomic conditions between cousins aren’t necessarily a bad thing
Image credits: Kaboompics.com/Pexels (not the actual photo)
Compared to siblings, cousins have larger gaps in socioeconomic status and might grow up in different home environments.
However, if the families manage to keep things civil, their bond can bring more positives than negatives.
In childhood, that can make them good role models and in adulthood, given that many people find friends who are similar to them, extended family can provide a rare opportunity to have your opinions challenged, Diego Alburez-Gutierrez, who studies kinship dynamics at the Max Planck Institute for Demographic Research in Germany, told The Atlantic.
Cousins are pretty much your peers who can stretch your assumptions, without that much danger of the relationship ending if debates get heated.
So, hopefully, the parents will find a way out of this conflict that would allow the kids to stay in touch and learn from each other.
Most of the people who read the story agreed that neither the mom nor her husband did anything wrong
Some, however, said the couple—and especially the husband—could have handled the conflict better
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lenka 6 months ago
This is a hard one. I grew up very poor so I am mindful of the 'present gap' and I teach my kids to be aware of their privilege and mindful of others. At 4 years old a kid barely understands what money is let alone that some people have more than others, and at 4 they are just excited about what the easter bunny bought - that's not 'bragging' that's just childish enthusiasm. The 6 year old *might* be able to grasp these concepts and display some restraint. So yes, I will teach my children in age appropriate ways to be mindful, but I wont curb the magic of their childhood and I wont shame them for having more.
R Dennis 6 months ago (edited)
As an adult, I casually mentioned to some coworkers/employees (I was a quickserve assistant manager) about my trip to Mexico to escape the cold. Later that day, I overhear one employee talk about trying to get aid because their heat was off. I felt like garbage though I did nothing wrong. But in the future, I didn't talk so much about what I had or did out of courtesy for those struggling. I had grown up with utilities being shut off and very little food at times. When you can barely survive, you aren't necessarily jealous of what others have, it just kind of hurts and makes you feel like s**t.
lenka 6 months ago
This is a hard one. I grew up very poor so I am mindful of the 'present gap' and I teach my kids to be aware of their privilege and mindful of others. At 4 years old a kid barely understands what money is let alone that some people have more than others, and at 4 they are just excited about what the easter bunny bought - that's not 'bragging' that's just childish enthusiasm. The 6 year old *might* be able to grasp these concepts and display some restraint. So yes, I will teach my children in age appropriate ways to be mindful, but I wont curb the magic of their childhood and I wont shame them for having more.
R Dennis 6 months ago (edited)
As an adult, I casually mentioned to some coworkers/employees (I was a quickserve assistant manager) about my trip to Mexico to escape the cold. Later that day, I overhear one employee talk about trying to get aid because their heat was off. I felt like garbage though I did nothing wrong. But in the future, I didn't talk so much about what I had or did out of courtesy for those struggling. I had grown up with utilities being shut off and very little food at times. When you can barely survive, you aren't necessarily jealous of what others have, it just kind of hurts and makes you feel like s**t.
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