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People Are Torn About This “Lazy” Mom Of 4 And Her Honest View Of Her House After 4 Days Of Not Cleaning
Being a parent is awesome, but you can’t deny that some things are overly romanticized about it.
They tell you how kids can liven up your day and how their smiles can bring world peace, but let’s be real, the remaining 98% of parenting is a relentless attempt at raising decent human beings and adulting at the same time.
And to show you just how real it can get, this one mom shared what her house looks like after just 4 days of not tidying up with 4 kids in the household.
More Info: TikTok
RELATED:
Keeping a house clean is a challenge for many, let alone mothers with 4 kids who post videos of the reality as motivation to clean up
Image credits: @themessymama4
Image credits: @themessymama4
Meet Bri James, also known as the The Messy Mama on TikTok, a momma blogger with 4 lovely children.
Not too long ago, she has been going viral with a video of hers where she shows what four days of not cleaning the house looks like in a 6-people family household.
In the video, she describes this as the consequence of “two really lazy adults have 4 kids and don’t clean up after themselves” for 4 days. She also elaborates that she has not done the dishes or picked up things throughout that time, highlighting that this isn’t dirty, but rather just a mess.
Momma blogger of 4 Bri James shared a video where she shows just how messy it gets in 4 days in a house of a family of 6
Image credits: @themessymama4
Image credits: @themessymama4
Image credits: @themessymama4
Image credits: @themessymama4
Said mess was what you’d expect of one: everything from kids’ toys to empty packets to furniture pieces scattered all over the floor, with kitchen counters occupied by dirty dishes and dining implements and the living room looking like a kid’s playground. Pretty standard if you ask me.
She posted the video to TikTok as a means of motivating herself to clean up the house and keep herself accountable, knowing all too well that she’ll be roasted for it.
But, in reality, what it ended up turning into was a bit of a debate, in the lightest sense of the word. People weren’t really discussing, but there were definitely two sides that people were choosing between.
Everything from toys to furniture pieces on the floor to over-the-top counter stacking to this mini playground living room
Image credits: @themessymama4
As of this article, the video has nearly 18 million views with over 1.2 million likes
@themessymama4I will block those who are mean. this is to keep me accountable not for views.♬ original sound – Bri James
But Bri did what she set out to do, and that is to clean the house, which she did in 4 videos
Image credits: @themessymama4
Image credits: @themessymama4
Image credits: @themessymama4
On the one hand, sure, she got roasted. For the most part, people were pointing out that while things scattered on the floor is surely a mess, the unwashed dishes are definitely dirty and there is no other way of describing it. If anything, it was unhygienic.
Others said that it’s impossible to blame the kids at this point—this is all because these “lazy” parents were just too lazy about it, and yet others even explained that this sets a bad example for the kids.
Image credits: @themessymama4
Image credits: @themessymama4
Image credits: @themessymama4
However, something that Bri seemingly did not expect was the vast support from other parents and just people who relate to the messy situation.
For starters, this is a very segmented part of the mother’s life—very real and very necessary, but also very out of context, as you can’t really assume that this is always the way it is. You can’t ever truly know what this mom goes through on the daily, especially with 4 little rascals.
Others, mostly parents of 1 to 5 kids, point out that this is an inevitability that parents shouldn’t be judged for. It’s much harder than it looks and it takes a parent to actually understand the struggle.
Reactions came from two sides, with some disapproving, and others showing support
In general, there was lots of love and support for Bri to outweigh all of the negativity found in the comment section. But, as mentioned previously, the mom used this as motivation to clean up. And clean up she did.
But there was an overwhelming amount of support, mostly from people who know what parenting is really like
The next day, her followers got four videos (here, here, here, and here) detailing her clean-up journey. And hey, one of her daughters joined in to help clean up, which throws the “setting a bad example” argument out the window. And in a day, she turned a messy house into a clean one.
The video got a significant amount of attention, garnering nearly 18 million views and over 1.2 million likes, with another 3.5 million from the clean-up videos. You can check out the video here, and her channel here, but before you go, let us know your levels of messy or what you thought about this video in the comment section below!
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Zophra 3 years ago
Opinion: I don't know about this... I don't want to judge but I think it does look dirty. Some of this - like trash on the floor - would have taken less than 10 seconds to put it in the trashcan - why allow it on the floor? And I wouldn't want my kids to grow up thinking that such disorganized, unhygienic conditions are "normal." If this is a one time family emergency - fine; but if they let it get to this condition regularly ...not a good "normal."
Space Whale 3 years ago (edited)
She's a grown woman, she can pick up after her self and her kids. This is so unsanitary and in not an environment kids should be growing up in.
everyone's favorite person 3 years ago
idk why ur getting downvoted, I agree with you!!
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GenericPanda09 3 years ago
Just looking at that gives me an increased heart rate. I know some people can live like this not because they're lazy but they have mental health issues that make them less motivated to clean and tidy the place up, but personally there's nothing that would make my mental health go downhill as quick as living in that mess. I like order, not chaos. And yeah, kids are messy but it ain't bad parenting to teach them to put toys away when they've finished with them before they get other ones out.
DuchessDegu 3 years ago
We could get all toys out to play anywhere, but also were taught to put them away after finishing - ok for me the main motivation was not to let my siblings take my toys, but still it's something I've learned for life, I put everything away as soon as I'm done
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Johan van Luijn-Hermans 3 years ago
2 kids, 5 year old girl, 7 year old boy living in the house with an extra adult. I'm sorry, but our house does not even get close to this kind of mess, this is just a lack of rules and motivation. I have no words for people who think this is normal or excusable. The kids have an excellent wonderful life, are doing fine of above in school, but they also clean up because that is the standard they see around them on daily base. If you would post this online in the Netherlands, you can count on it you will get a visit from the child protective services and to be honest, for a good reason.
VeninTheNonBinaryRogue 3 years ago
I am the second oldest of five, and our house is never that messy. If it gets to even half the mess of in the video, we have to help clean it. We have chores and stuff to help around the house, and if we don’t do them there’s consequences. This lady really needs to get some rules down
Load More Replies...
Lazy Suzy 3 years ago
I have 3 kids under 8 and can definitely come confirm if you opt out of the hotel mind set / responsibilities / normality then it is easy to get to this state. Chores are the regular cause of parent arguments in my household (they are boring and mundane), until the kids are fully able to 'help' we are just going to have to bear with it. Relaxing some of the day to day responsibilities once in a while is ok. ❤
LagoonaBlueColleen 3 years ago
Why do people post stuff like this? It's like some sort of weird "check" thing. Like the anorexia body checks but with messy, dirty houses and then try to convince people "It's just messy. It's not dirty". They know that's bs.
Kimi Tomminello 3 years ago
She was trying to help people get out of their depression nests. She was showing how quickly you can clean up a completely trashed house. I think everybody is so focused on calling her nasty and leaving out the part that she cleaned the damn thing.
Load More Replies...
BluEyedSeoulite 3 years ago
I have 2 under 5 and have a cleaner that comes to help on the weekend. Last Sunday, she did a fantastic job and my kids had ruined it within hours after she had left. By that evening, it looked like we hadn't cleaned in days. Kids are messy, no way around it until either they grow up or move out
Kitty Monrova 3 years ago (edited)
The problem is that you can't rely on a cleaner to keep a home nice. It's really not that hard if you just check behind you. It can take 10 seconds to clean out a milk jug and throw it in the recycle, but if you fail to do those small things over and over again, it will start to be overwhelming very quickly. Kids are messy yeah, but that doesn't mean you just say screw it and leave a trail of messes everywhere. When they make a mess, you clean it up. They make another mess in 10 minutes, you clean it up again. Not to mention, if children are leaving this kind of mess behind, its most likely that it's because they haven't been taught any better. I live in a house with five children, and granted it's not spotless, but the children would never leave a mess like that, because they've been taught to respect their home through example from the other adults in the house
Load More Replies... 
Danyelka 3 years ago
Two of Four. You are demotivated when somebody imediatly destroys your work even when you are adult. If they would have to clean after siblings (they are not so grown that they should be responsible) I would expect abusive family.
Load More Replies...
Bi-Polar Express 3 years ago
This is ridiculous. There's a bike in the kitchen. This is a management problem beyond just making your kids clean up often themselves (which they can start doing as toddlers. Trash on the ground just doesn't happen, either. Even the 4 year old in our house knows where the trash goes.
iseefractalz 3 years ago
It's not dirty...for a dumpster. There's no excuse for that. Qualifying it as "lazy with 4 kids" is just evidence that they should not have had 4 kids. It's not even the clutter that's obviously due to the kids, that's one thing. Kids are horrible (unfortunately allowing things to perpetually be that way will ensure they grow up to be horrible adults too). The biggest issue is the kitchen. It's disgusting. You don't leave dishes sitting, dirty, for 4 days and get to pretend that "it's not dirty, it's just MESSY teehee" it's nasty. What's worse, washing dishes right after you're done using them, is stupidly simple. It takes seconds to clean a dirty plate...so long as you do it right away. Once you let stuff dry, congeal, harden, and in this case probably mold, what should have taken 15 or 20 seconds per item, now takes MINUTES per item. All it takes is that one nasty dish that you left sitting overnight, before it snowballs into an overflowing sink. Shame. SHAAAAME.
Zophra 3 years ago
Opinion: I don't know about this... I don't want to judge but I think it does look dirty. Some of this - like trash on the floor - would have taken less than 10 seconds to put it in the trashcan - why allow it on the floor? And I wouldn't want my kids to grow up thinking that such disorganized, unhygienic conditions are "normal." If this is a one time family emergency - fine; but if they let it get to this condition regularly ...not a good "normal."
Space Whale 3 years ago (edited)
She's a grown woman, she can pick up after her self and her kids. This is so unsanitary and in not an environment kids should be growing up in.
everyone's favorite person 3 years ago
idk why ur getting downvoted, I agree with you!!
Load More Replies... GenericPanda09 3 years ago
Just looking at that gives me an increased heart rate. I know some people can live like this not because they're lazy but they have mental health issues that make them less motivated to clean and tidy the place up, but personally there's nothing that would make my mental health go downhill as quick as living in that mess. I like order, not chaos. And yeah, kids are messy but it ain't bad parenting to teach them to put toys away when they've finished with them before they get other ones out.
DuchessDegu 3 years ago
We could get all toys out to play anywhere, but also were taught to put them away after finishing - ok for me the main motivation was not to let my siblings take my toys, but still it's something I've learned for life, I put everything away as soon as I'm done
Load More Replies... Johan van Luijn-Hermans 3 years ago
2 kids, 5 year old girl, 7 year old boy living in the house with an extra adult. I'm sorry, but our house does not even get close to this kind of mess, this is just a lack of rules and motivation. I have no words for people who think this is normal or excusable. The kids have an excellent wonderful life, are doing fine of above in school, but they also clean up because that is the standard they see around them on daily base. If you would post this online in the Netherlands, you can count on it you will get a visit from the child protective services and to be honest, for a good reason.
VeninTheNonBinaryRogue 3 years ago
I am the second oldest of five, and our house is never that messy. If it gets to even half the mess of in the video, we have to help clean it. We have chores and stuff to help around the house, and if we don’t do them there’s consequences. This lady really needs to get some rules down
Load More Replies... Lazy Suzy 3 years ago
I have 3 kids under 8 and can definitely come confirm if you opt out of the hotel mind set / responsibilities / normality then it is easy to get to this state. Chores are the regular cause of parent arguments in my household (they are boring and mundane), until the kids are fully able to 'help' we are just going to have to bear with it. Relaxing some of the day to day responsibilities once in a while is ok. ❤
LagoonaBlueColleen 3 years ago
Why do people post stuff like this? It's like some sort of weird "check" thing. Like the anorexia body checks but with messy, dirty houses and then try to convince people "It's just messy. It's not dirty". They know that's bs.
Kimi Tomminello 3 years ago
She was trying to help people get out of their depression nests. She was showing how quickly you can clean up a completely trashed house. I think everybody is so focused on calling her nasty and leaving out the part that she cleaned the damn thing.
Load More Replies... BluEyedSeoulite 3 years ago
I have 2 under 5 and have a cleaner that comes to help on the weekend. Last Sunday, she did a fantastic job and my kids had ruined it within hours after she had left. By that evening, it looked like we hadn't cleaned in days. Kids are messy, no way around it until either they grow up or move out
Kitty Monrova 3 years ago (edited)
The problem is that you can't rely on a cleaner to keep a home nice. It's really not that hard if you just check behind you. It can take 10 seconds to clean out a milk jug and throw it in the recycle, but if you fail to do those small things over and over again, it will start to be overwhelming very quickly. Kids are messy yeah, but that doesn't mean you just say screw it and leave a trail of messes everywhere. When they make a mess, you clean it up. They make another mess in 10 minutes, you clean it up again. Not to mention, if children are leaving this kind of mess behind, its most likely that it's because they haven't been taught any better. I live in a house with five children, and granted it's not spotless, but the children would never leave a mess like that, because they've been taught to respect their home through example from the other adults in the house
Load More Replies... Danyelka 3 years ago
Two of Four. You are demotivated when somebody imediatly destroys your work even when you are adult. If they would have to clean after siblings (they are not so grown that they should be responsible) I would expect abusive family.
Load More Replies... Bi-Polar Express 3 years ago
This is ridiculous. There's a bike in the kitchen. This is a management problem beyond just making your kids clean up often themselves (which they can start doing as toddlers. Trash on the ground just doesn't happen, either. Even the 4 year old in our house knows where the trash goes.
iseefractalz 3 years ago
It's not dirty...for a dumpster. There's no excuse for that. Qualifying it as "lazy with 4 kids" is just evidence that they should not have had 4 kids. It's not even the clutter that's obviously due to the kids, that's one thing. Kids are horrible (unfortunately allowing things to perpetually be that way will ensure they grow up to be horrible adults too). The biggest issue is the kitchen. It's disgusting. You don't leave dishes sitting, dirty, for 4 days and get to pretend that "it's not dirty, it's just MESSY teehee" it's nasty. What's worse, washing dishes right after you're done using them, is stupidly simple. It takes seconds to clean a dirty plate...so long as you do it right away. Once you let stuff dry, congeal, harden, and in this case probably mold, what should have taken 15 or 20 seconds per item, now takes MINUTES per item. All it takes is that one nasty dish that you left sitting overnight, before it snowballs into an overflowing sink. Shame. SHAAAAME.
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