Woman Kicks MIL Out After Discovering She Starved Her Kid As She Kept Making Dinners Containing The One Thing She Hates The Most
It’s no big secret that every other household is different. Some are able to co-exist peacefully, rely on each other, and simply live by the textbook definition of what it’s like to be a family, while others, well, can’t.
When you are not born into society’s idea of a perfect family, it could take a ton of work to master the relationship between you and your close ones: perhaps letting go or being patient, learning how to set realistic expectations and boundaries, or – you know – going all out and seeking professional help.
But here’s the thing, not every family is in need of the said “help”; sometimes all you need is to move on, especially if your relative is not interested in respecting trivial things, just like this author’s mother-in-law.
More info: Reddit | Charlotte Stirling-Reed The Baby & Child Nutritionist | Nutrition and Co
Just because they’re family, it doesn’t mean that they’re good people
Image credits: Julia Filirovska (not the actual image)
“AITA for kicking out my MIL for forcing my child to eat the one thing she dislikes?” – this web user turned to one of Reddit’s most judgmental communities, asking its members whether it was a jerk move to boot out her mother-in-law who deliberately cooked her kid foods containing mushrooms. The post managed to garner over 10K likes as well as 2.8K comments discussing the situation.
Woman ponders if she was wrong to kick her mother-in-law out for making her daughter eat dishes containing mushrooms
Image source: u/doctormom1212
The mother began her post by stating that her daughter, who is 10 years old, abhors mushrooms to the hilt. She can’t bear the texture, taste, or smell of them. Now, before the incident, the author’s mother-in-law also resided with them; she helped out with the little one and would frequently prepare her dinner because both parents work in the medical field, which means that their schedules are lengthy and unpredictable. But one day, while the woman was out with some pals and the couple had the night off from work, Susie (the daughter), came to her parents weeping, saying how tired she was of going to bed hungry because her grandma would only prepare meals with mushrooms and wouldn’t let her eat anything else.
Image source: u/doctormom1212
Image credits: Los Muertos Crew (not the actual image)
Although it was stated that the 10-year-old isn’t a picky eater per se, Bored Panda got in touch with a handful of nutritionists to get a more expert perspective on the seemingly common problem. Our first expert is Charlotte Stirling-Reed, a Registered Child Nutritionist with an undergraduate and a postgraduate degree in Nutrition, who really loves helping families to navigate the tricky stages that naturally can come with feeding kids!
“Yes, it’s very common. Often it is part of the parcel of feeding and raising children. Fussy eating and food refusal often happens as they begin to develop autonomy and want to do things for themselves a little more. It also is thought to be due to something called ‘neophobia,’ which is a fear of new foods and kicks in as little ones become more independent and more mobile. Put simply, historically it makes sense for toddlers to be a bit wary about what they put in their mouths and eat!” – Charlotte said when we pondered about the commonness of eating issues in kids.
Image source: u/doctormom1212
“Food refusal also can happen at a time when growth rate slows in the second year of life. Variations in toddlers’ appetites are actually really normal; sometimes we think it’s an issue when it isn’t. If their appetite changes day to day, week to week, and meal to meal, it’s more likely that they are just following their own appetites – if you’re worried, try to get them weighed and look at what they eat over a week and not at a single meal,” the woman added.
Lastly, we wondered how a parent may help their offspring through this challenging time, to which Charlotte said, “Ultimately, try and stick to a good mealtime routine where you can. It can really help kids to understand patterns of hunger a little more. Role-model and avoid not offering foods that are sometimes rejected – appetites will vary and they can’t learn to accept a food that’s never offered! Avoid pressuring them into ‘eating up.’ This is so common for many families to try as a tactic – ‘just eat the vegetables’, ‘just have one more spoon’ – but actually this is really unhelpful in encouraging them to eat a little more and listen to their own appetites properly and also (importantly) actually enjoy eating.”
Image source: u/doctormom1212
Image credits: Kampus Production (not the actual image)
Image source: u/doctormom1212
Our next professional is Jenaed, the founder of Nutrition and Co, an online nutrition consultancy company. She’s a specialist in pediatric nutrition and sports nutrition, with extensive experience working with the NHS and privately. BP asked Jenaed if picky eating can be outgrown, and she replied as follows: “Some kids do outgrow picky eating and some don’t. The kids that do outgrow it are typically picky eaters because of the normal picky eating phase that most children go through. It depends if there is a sensory component or if it’s just a picky eating phase. Causes of picky eating include early feeding difficulties, late introduction of lumpy foods at weaning, pressure to eat, and early choosiness.”
We also invited Jenaed to offer her input on how to help kids overcome this issue: “Let your kids be ‘produce pickers.’ Let them pick out fruits and veggies at the store. Have your child help you prepare meals. Children learn about food and get excited about tasting food when they help make meals. Offer choices. Rather than asking ‘Do you want broccoli for dinner?’ ask ‘Which would you like for dinner, broccoli or cauliflower?’”
Image source: u/doctormom1212
“Enjoy each other while eating family meals together. Talk about what family members did during the day, what made you laugh, or what you did for fun. Offer the same foods for the whole family. Serve the same meal to adults and kids. Let them see you enjoy a variety of healthy foods. Start with small portions. Let your kids try small portions of new foods that you enjoy. Give them a small taste at first and be patient with them. Sometimes, new foods take time. Kids don’t always take to new foods right away,” the woman added.
Food is obviously a very sensitive subject that requires careful handling. We hope that the input from our experts was able to be of some assistance to any struggling parents. Also, don’t hesitate to contact them if you ever find yourself in a pickle.
Now, back to the story. What would you have done if you were in the post’s creator’s shoes?
Fellow online community members shared their thoughts on the situation
Yeah it was driving me crazy. Teaching someone to "eat veg" by forcing them to eat a non plant that is more closely related to humans than plants! MIL is sadistic and stupid.
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Waaait wait. So according to the comments this MIL lied im the face of the parents saying all the mushrooms were for her own dishes, not for the child? This means she deliberately made these dishes in secret to bully the kid. That is NASTY and a red flag. I totally agree to getting that woman out of the house. If she is that disrespectful to OP and their child, imagine what else she would do.
I can't help but think this is not about mushrooms and a grandmother who just can't understand someone not liking them. If the kid loved mushrooms, I have a feeling MIL would have found something else to force on her. Definitely evil grandmother vibes going on.
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Well, can't Blame the kid lol, Im a grown a*s 44 year old man, and i can't stand sweet peas, i hate them with all my heart, i don't know why, i just can't stand them, also cucumber, but that both a flavor, and a texture thing, mushrooms on the otherhand, Im ok with...
my bestie is 61 and he hates green peas, too. but oddly, he loves split pea soup. lol
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I'm not in any way a picky eater but I have two things I just can't bring myself to eat: eggplant and beet root. I tried them from time to time but my body refuses to swallow them and I start gagging. I just started liking some mushroom dishes (Mushrooms often have a lightly slimy texture and a strong aroma). Forcefeeding is never ever a solution! Never! But I like the idea that a kid has at least to taste the unknown food. If it dislikes it, it can eat some other basic food or it can pick out the components which it dislikes. My bachelor's thesis evolved around foreign food and I read, that a child has to taste an unfamiliar flavour up to 13 times until the brain gives the "okay" that some item is edible and tastes good. 🤯 Trying out new tastes should aways be fun, because eating is a wonderful thing 😍
Yes, some flavors are an acquired taste. And I can see the grandmother occasionally offering mushroom dishes for the girl to try. But only cooking dishes with mushroom as the main ingredient? That's a serious power play... And for what?
Load More Replies... my child has never liked potatoes - boiled, roasted, as fries... from the day I started weaning he has refused them. Pick your battles... I went for carrots and broccoli, both of which he now loves. Grandmother is probably more entrenching this girl's hatred of mushrooms by her actions. She's going to associate them with anxiety, fear, discomfort... Grandmother is an idiot
In all his 80 years of life, my dad never met a potato he didn't hate, LOL
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Thing is, kids that hate a specific food will often decide later in life that they do like it after all. Your tastes change. MIL sounds old school, like my parents (I’m 62 now, and my parents had been married 19 years before I came along as the baby of five kids). I can’t tell you how many times I had to sit at the dinner table after dinner was over because I hadn’t cleaned my plate, or at least eaten all my [whatever dish or side dish I couldn’t abide]. Usually it was beets, which my mother absolutely adored and I STILL hate (no offense meant if you like them, but for me the taste, consistency, etc are just yuck). Sometimes though, it was spinach. Hated spinach as a child, but in my twenties I discovered better ways to serve it than mushy and gross, and have loved it ever since. MIL is the cruel and abusive a*****e here, the Wicked Granny, and her idea of “tough love” just lost her a free place to live. Wonder if she was that way with her son—-her grandchild’s father—-and that’s what he’s totally on OP’s side? If so, looks like his siblings are perpetuating MIL’s cruelty by thinking it’s OK to starve a child until they’re so desperately hungry they’ll even et a food they hate. Way to breed resentment, as well as become persona non grata with your son and his family, Granny.
My Oma used to make my mother sit at the table and finish everything on her plate. Oma nearly starved to death in WWII, so it's understandable, but it created a lot of issues for my mother and overeating. Thankfully, my mom never made me do the same. I'm on the spectrum and have a lot of issues with taste and texture, but I do try things. Sadly, I just dislike a lot. There are certain things people love and hate, and if all this kid dislikes is mushrooms... I'd say she's doing just fine. I don't know why MIL is so obsessed with mushrooms to the point where she feels personally offended by her granddaughter disliking mushrooms... it's weird. Really weird. All that this granddaughter is going to remember about grandma is being bullied and starved. Being forced to eat a food you hate isn't going to magically make you love that food.
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Encouraging a child to try the foods they dislike occasionally and prepared in different ways is fair enough. Some of my favourite foods, I used to hate. But you don't make them front and centre of every meal so they have nothing to eat otherwise. You can't bully a child into liking something. If anything, you're only going to guarantee their dislike for it. I'd have given her the boot as well.
Agreed, and you don't do it secretly behind the parents' backs either.
Load More Replies... If MIL is doing this with mushrooms she may be doing it with other things in her relationship with her granddaughter trying to toughen her up or change her. It's very concerning.
Wow, my step mum used to make me eat mushroom soup despite knowing I hated (hate - still do) but I was so scared of her I just ate it
That's awful. I think everyone has at least one food that they simply don't like.
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NTA. i can't eat corn, the smell of it can knock me sick, nvm actually eating it. I can eat things like cornflakes cereal though, so not exactly an allergy, just something I've never been able to eat in that form. One of the lunch staff at my school used to always put corn on my plate even though I said I couldn't eat it because they were convinced I'd "get over it and just eat it if you were hungry enough" ... wtaf.
What is with the mushroom obssession with the MIL? People are allowed to dislike food. I would probably look for something she hates and force her to eat it in front of everyone. My SIL hates tomatoes, my husband dislikes shrimp, I don't like brussel sprouts, for example. MIL was just being abusive,
I'd make a dish using ingredients MIL doesn't like and force her to eat it.
My dad is 66 years old and he hates mushrooms. Whenever we go out to eat, he makes sure that he doesn't get mushrooms. I don't like spicy foods and my family is perfectly okay with it. This grandmother is horrible and they need to keep her away from this child.
NTA. It's not your MIL's business to raise your daughter. And from what was told in the story the child is also doing pretty fine without it. With your MIL's actions she is propably fuling your daughters dispite for mushrooms even further. Also calling you a bad mother because you value your career is a prime example of whataboutism and propably a sign, that your MIL do know, that she is doing the wrong thing.
Gosh, I feel for this kid, I can’t do mushrooms. I can’t look at them, with all their ridges. Never could. My parents never made me eat them thank goodness.
You wanna know what I hated as a kid: mushrooms, gyros, and aubergines. You wanna know what I love now: mushrooms (all kinds, cooked all ways, in all cuisines around the world), gyros (I make my own regularly), and aubergines (like mushrooms I love them prepared all sorts of ways minus raw). I wholeheartedly believe children should be exposed to all sorts of foods growing up but not one thing should be forced. Sometimes it does take time to develop our tastebuds and understanding food textures. Sometimes it never quite clicks, and that is ok too. But forcing unwanted foods will just create bad relationships with food either completely or with that one item.
NTA...& what planet do these people beam in from & how can we stop it? IMO this is about the MIL resenting OP & bullying a 10yr old to get a dig in. I raised 5 kids who each had a particular dislike. M' rule was to @ least taste something new, be polite bout it, & substitute it w/ a veg/ fruit they prefered- not dying on that hill for God's sake. I don't blame OP one bit- what else would MIL do the girl when she's sitting for them? Hard NTA
Your house your rules an thank dad for sticking by your side. What if she was allergic to a food an mil decided that feeding her only they would cure her? I'm sure you guys never asked what your kid had for dinner when you would get home? Or the then morning? Cuz I'm sure it would have stopped a little sooner. Yeah out the door mushroom queen. Lol. Try just having your kid explain it to these people bad mouthing you. "Hey I don't like mushrooms. I can't stand them. They make me sick thinking about them. Guess what? That's all she would make for dinner when my parents weren't home. On purpose. To get me to like them. Then if I didn't want to eat it? I. Got. Nothing. Ask her to explain starving me over mushrooms!" I wanna force feed that woman the food she dislikes.
I am 30 years old and would rather starve than eat a mushroom dish. Tried them, hate them, will cringe and chew threw it if I'm eating in front of others and there's pieces of it in the dish to save face. NTA. It's one thing if the kid won't eat any of her dishes, but one small ingredient? That's overkill. Also, even if we didn't want to eat what my mom fixed us, she'd remind us there was sandwich bread and a jar of peanut butter to fix a sandwich so we weren't starving.
Glad to hear OP's husband is 100% on her side. So often the husband takes his mom's side or tries to stay out of it. Block MILs number already, and the SILs too if they don't stop. MIL was way out of line!
My family teased and bullied me about not eating raw tomatoes, saying I was being "a baby" whenever a small piece of raw tomato flesh even touched my tongue. Guess what? I'm allergic. Found out at 30 or so when I ate a bunch of Mexican food where they were so cleverly spiced and hidden I didn't know until I'd eaten a good deal of them. Vomited myself into a nosebleed and passed out from the sheer violence and being unable to breathe. So... sometimes your body is warning you about stuff, too.
NTA at all! MIL is just trying to exercise her "adult power" over a kid. I can understand food preferences because I'm not very fond of certain food types myself (bean sprouts, ginger in solid form) but I do find it interesting (personal opinion) that kiddo can't stand even portobello mushrooms given that I'd need at least a good chunk of my salary alone to afford some of it (Just musing anyway. No judgment).
Your mother in law sucks for making a child, her own grandchild go hungry. Good for you for standing up for your daughter! That woman is disturbed.
I've always hated mushrooms. Being vegetarian, it's super tough because it's a huge substitute. So I've managed to accept some dishes over the years if the mushroom is cut up really, really small but I still can't deal with mushrooms as a whole. And it's a taste that leeches into the rest of the dish, you can't just pick them out. MIL is an AH for sure. I bet there's at least one food in the world she doesn't want to eat (even if it's something unusual to Western culture like locusts)
Beyond me how a grandmother could do this, bet she was a holy terror as a mother.
What does gma hate in the way of food and put that in every dish you serve. Then teach your daughter to cook some simple meals.
You should find out a food the mil doesn't like, and have that as the main ingredient if you ever make dinner for her.
It's a similar thing in my family, growing up my brother wouldn't (knowingly) eat a mushroom, I don't care for most varieties of rice or corn off the cob -- everyone has their own tolerances for tastes and textures...
I wonder what the MIL dislikes the most - she should be made to eat it regularly! Also I bet she didn't tell the other family members the whole story, otherwise they would not be sending nasty msgs to you.
Straight up child abuse. It would be one thing if she were a picky eater. Maybe I could see a case of pushing the envelope but certainly not 2 weeks worth and foregoing eating altogether. But this was an established food she did not like. One she clearly tried and make concluded it was intolerable to her. That's not pickiness. That's personal taste. No amount of force feeding is going to change that. In fact, force feeding will dig that hole even deeper as it won't just be a physical distate for it but a mental/emotional one on top of it.
That's a nasty MIL there. Trying nicely to get a kid on occasion to eat their veggies is one thing but purposely cooking mushrooms all the time when she hates them. I don't get it, just because she's a child, why is she not entitled to dislike a certain food? Many adults are even like that. I hate anchovies, would she do that to an adult and constantly cook me dishes with anchovies in it? That's child abuse really.
I think the mother-in-law must have had a doozy of a mother or father. People will repeat the ways they were raised sometimes. They feel that I survived this and so must she. There is probably a true and unhappy life story in the mother-in-law's background. Maybe the OP, her husband and mother-in-law can sit down with a therapist or counselor and find out why this happened with the granddaughter.
The mil is my mother in carnet. She used to insist on adding cayenne pepper to things for flavor. To this day I cannot stomach overly hot and spicy foods, they still send my stomach churning. Why do this to your kids deliberately??
I just want to know how MIL is so dense as to not understand that now OP's daughter is going to have an even stronger aversion to mushrooms because there's now yet ANOTHER negative connotation to them. So now on top of just not liking them, now they're directly associated with being a punishment, effectively. That is horrid behaviour. I disliked sweet vegetables like carrots and corn when I was a kid, so my mom made them for the rest of the family and steamed broccoli for me instead (it's such a strange quirk - as an adult it seems I can't really taste bitterness like other people do, so things like 90% dark chocolate and black coffee are things I love, but I'm ultrasensitive to sweet tastes). But as an adult, I don't hate the vegetables I disliked as a child, and I'm sure part of that comes down to the fact that I wasn't forced to eat them.
Everyone has preferences. I don't like pigs feet or eggplant or head cheese but I have eaten "street" food in Korea, Saudi Arabia, Taiwan and Thailand. Go figure.
children are always not going like something. that doesnt give you the right to starve them. how horrible!
If someone isn't a picky eater, but they happen to dislike one food, it's pretty typical for it to turn out that they're actually allergic to it. That happened to me. I hated celery as a kid and I hate it now. It tastes like the smell of a hot tire to me. I thought it was weird when I found out other people don't taste it like that. Turns out I'm allergic to latex, the stuff rubber is made out of, which apparently also exists in celery. My body was trying to warn me to avoid it. You really shouldn't force a kid to eat something they don't like if they've already proven they're an adventurous eater. There could be a good reason for it.
As I kid I hated, and I still do hate meat. The texture is the problem. I have literally never eaten a whole steak, once when I was like 10 my mom promised me some money just to see if I actually COULD eat it, I threw up after 1/3rd. I can take a bite or two, but after that it becomes too difficult.
I love and worship the fungus gods, but why would I waste the good ones on others? As the only one who likes them in the house, I get small quantities of really excellent/expensive ones and it's affordable... Pearls for swine, to buy them for the others.
See, I hate mushrooms. I've tried so many times over the years to get to like them: eating the mushroom that always comes with steak and chips at the pub; mushroom arancini (actually tolerable); mushroom burgers; mushroom soup, but I just can't like them. I did have a wild mushroom soup once that was quite nice, but just the texture of mushrooms puts me off. The taste is quite bad, but the texture is the deal breaker.
Load More Replies... Why are people like this? My mother and I take my niece in law and grand niece and nephew to lunch. The little girl loves broccoli and the boy loves calamari. You can bet they get to eat everybody's broccoli and calamari till they are full. It's a joy to watch kids enjoy their food, it's something you want to see, how can it be any other way if there is love? Also, our family always made sure kids eat first it's just the way we were raised, you nurture and feed the most vulnerable first. Surely this is common sense?
Unless there is a food allergies. Such as in peanuts. I personally at allergic to jalapenos, have been for years. Every time I go anywhere, certain dishes have to be done without . And I can't afford the epi pen 🖊️.
Just wondering if this felt like a 10 year old wrote this to anyone else?
haha ppl are so spoiled, its just food jesus what a spoiled kid she couldve just eaten around the mushroom. people really have no idea what real abuse is or feels like. not saying shes right, there's kinder ways to introduce a new food. but ppl saying this is bullying or abuse, nah just old fashioned parenting ppl so spoiled. they are not going to kill her, kid sounds like a brat
She is starving the kid. Why couldn't she just not make dishes with mushroom in it?
Load More Replies... How you came to the conclusion that the parents are c**p is beyond me.
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why didn't MIL just... not cook stuff with mushrooms? Mushrooms are easily avoidable, trust me
Load More Replies... Yeah it was driving me crazy. Teaching someone to "eat veg" by forcing them to eat a non plant that is more closely related to humans than plants! MIL is sadistic and stupid.
Load More Replies... Waaait wait. So according to the comments this MIL lied im the face of the parents saying all the mushrooms were for her own dishes, not for the child? This means she deliberately made these dishes in secret to bully the kid. That is NASTY and a red flag. I totally agree to getting that woman out of the house. If she is that disrespectful to OP and their child, imagine what else she would do.
I can't help but think this is not about mushrooms and a grandmother who just can't understand someone not liking them. If the kid loved mushrooms, I have a feeling MIL would have found something else to force on her. Definitely evil grandmother vibes going on.
Load More Replies... Well, can't Blame the kid lol, Im a grown a*s 44 year old man, and i can't stand sweet peas, i hate them with all my heart, i don't know why, i just can't stand them, also cucumber, but that both a flavor, and a texture thing, mushrooms on the otherhand, Im ok with...
my bestie is 61 and he hates green peas, too. but oddly, he loves split pea soup. lol
Load More Replies... I'm not in any way a picky eater but I have two things I just can't bring myself to eat: eggplant and beet root. I tried them from time to time but my body refuses to swallow them and I start gagging. I just started liking some mushroom dishes (Mushrooms often have a lightly slimy texture and a strong aroma). Forcefeeding is never ever a solution! Never! But I like the idea that a kid has at least to taste the unknown food. If it dislikes it, it can eat some other basic food or it can pick out the components which it dislikes. My bachelor's thesis evolved around foreign food and I read, that a child has to taste an unfamiliar flavour up to 13 times until the brain gives the "okay" that some item is edible and tastes good. 🤯 Trying out new tastes should aways be fun, because eating is a wonderful thing 😍
Yes, some flavors are an acquired taste. And I can see the grandmother occasionally offering mushroom dishes for the girl to try. But only cooking dishes with mushroom as the main ingredient? That's a serious power play... And for what?
Load More Replies... my child has never liked potatoes - boiled, roasted, as fries... from the day I started weaning he has refused them. Pick your battles... I went for carrots and broccoli, both of which he now loves. Grandmother is probably more entrenching this girl's hatred of mushrooms by her actions. She's going to associate them with anxiety, fear, discomfort... Grandmother is an idiot
In all his 80 years of life, my dad never met a potato he didn't hate, LOL
Load More Replies... Thing is, kids that hate a specific food will often decide later in life that they do like it after all. Your tastes change. MIL sounds old school, like my parents (I’m 62 now, and my parents had been married 19 years before I came along as the baby of five kids). I can’t tell you how many times I had to sit at the dinner table after dinner was over because I hadn’t cleaned my plate, or at least eaten all my [whatever dish or side dish I couldn’t abide]. Usually it was beets, which my mother absolutely adored and I STILL hate (no offense meant if you like them, but for me the taste, consistency, etc are just yuck). Sometimes though, it was spinach. Hated spinach as a child, but in my twenties I discovered better ways to serve it than mushy and gross, and have loved it ever since. MIL is the cruel and abusive a*****e here, the Wicked Granny, and her idea of “tough love” just lost her a free place to live. Wonder if she was that way with her son—-her grandchild’s father—-and that’s what he’s totally on OP’s side? If so, looks like his siblings are perpetuating MIL’s cruelty by thinking it’s OK to starve a child until they’re so desperately hungry they’ll even et a food they hate. Way to breed resentment, as well as become persona non grata with your son and his family, Granny.
My Oma used to make my mother sit at the table and finish everything on her plate. Oma nearly starved to death in WWII, so it's understandable, but it created a lot of issues for my mother and overeating. Thankfully, my mom never made me do the same. I'm on the spectrum and have a lot of issues with taste and texture, but I do try things. Sadly, I just dislike a lot. There are certain things people love and hate, and if all this kid dislikes is mushrooms... I'd say she's doing just fine. I don't know why MIL is so obsessed with mushrooms to the point where she feels personally offended by her granddaughter disliking mushrooms... it's weird. Really weird. All that this granddaughter is going to remember about grandma is being bullied and starved. Being forced to eat a food you hate isn't going to magically make you love that food.
Load More Replies... Encouraging a child to try the foods they dislike occasionally and prepared in different ways is fair enough. Some of my favourite foods, I used to hate. But you don't make them front and centre of every meal so they have nothing to eat otherwise. You can't bully a child into liking something. If anything, you're only going to guarantee their dislike for it. I'd have given her the boot as well.
Agreed, and you don't do it secretly behind the parents' backs either.
Load More Replies... If MIL is doing this with mushrooms she may be doing it with other things in her relationship with her granddaughter trying to toughen her up or change her. It's very concerning.
Wow, my step mum used to make me eat mushroom soup despite knowing I hated (hate - still do) but I was so scared of her I just ate it
That's awful. I think everyone has at least one food that they simply don't like.
Load More Replies... NTA. i can't eat corn, the smell of it can knock me sick, nvm actually eating it. I can eat things like cornflakes cereal though, so not exactly an allergy, just something I've never been able to eat in that form. One of the lunch staff at my school used to always put corn on my plate even though I said I couldn't eat it because they were convinced I'd "get over it and just eat it if you were hungry enough" ... wtaf.
What is with the mushroom obssession with the MIL? People are allowed to dislike food. I would probably look for something she hates and force her to eat it in front of everyone. My SIL hates tomatoes, my husband dislikes shrimp, I don't like brussel sprouts, for example. MIL was just being abusive,
I'd make a dish using ingredients MIL doesn't like and force her to eat it.
My dad is 66 years old and he hates mushrooms. Whenever we go out to eat, he makes sure that he doesn't get mushrooms. I don't like spicy foods and my family is perfectly okay with it. This grandmother is horrible and they need to keep her away from this child.
NTA. It's not your MIL's business to raise your daughter. And from what was told in the story the child is also doing pretty fine without it. With your MIL's actions she is propably fuling your daughters dispite for mushrooms even further. Also calling you a bad mother because you value your career is a prime example of whataboutism and propably a sign, that your MIL do know, that she is doing the wrong thing.
Gosh, I feel for this kid, I can’t do mushrooms. I can’t look at them, with all their ridges. Never could. My parents never made me eat them thank goodness.
You wanna know what I hated as a kid: mushrooms, gyros, and aubergines. You wanna know what I love now: mushrooms (all kinds, cooked all ways, in all cuisines around the world), gyros (I make my own regularly), and aubergines (like mushrooms I love them prepared all sorts of ways minus raw). I wholeheartedly believe children should be exposed to all sorts of foods growing up but not one thing should be forced. Sometimes it does take time to develop our tastebuds and understanding food textures. Sometimes it never quite clicks, and that is ok too. But forcing unwanted foods will just create bad relationships with food either completely or with that one item.
NTA...& what planet do these people beam in from & how can we stop it? IMO this is about the MIL resenting OP & bullying a 10yr old to get a dig in. I raised 5 kids who each had a particular dislike. M' rule was to @ least taste something new, be polite bout it, & substitute it w/ a veg/ fruit they prefered- not dying on that hill for God's sake. I don't blame OP one bit- what else would MIL do the girl when she's sitting for them? Hard NTA
Your house your rules an thank dad for sticking by your side. What if she was allergic to a food an mil decided that feeding her only they would cure her? I'm sure you guys never asked what your kid had for dinner when you would get home? Or the then morning? Cuz I'm sure it would have stopped a little sooner. Yeah out the door mushroom queen. Lol. Try just having your kid explain it to these people bad mouthing you. "Hey I don't like mushrooms. I can't stand them. They make me sick thinking about them. Guess what? That's all she would make for dinner when my parents weren't home. On purpose. To get me to like them. Then if I didn't want to eat it? I. Got. Nothing. Ask her to explain starving me over mushrooms!" I wanna force feed that woman the food she dislikes.
I am 30 years old and would rather starve than eat a mushroom dish. Tried them, hate them, will cringe and chew threw it if I'm eating in front of others and there's pieces of it in the dish to save face. NTA. It's one thing if the kid won't eat any of her dishes, but one small ingredient? That's overkill. Also, even if we didn't want to eat what my mom fixed us, she'd remind us there was sandwich bread and a jar of peanut butter to fix a sandwich so we weren't starving.
Glad to hear OP's husband is 100% on her side. So often the husband takes his mom's side or tries to stay out of it. Block MILs number already, and the SILs too if they don't stop. MIL was way out of line!
My family teased and bullied me about not eating raw tomatoes, saying I was being "a baby" whenever a small piece of raw tomato flesh even touched my tongue. Guess what? I'm allergic. Found out at 30 or so when I ate a bunch of Mexican food where they were so cleverly spiced and hidden I didn't know until I'd eaten a good deal of them. Vomited myself into a nosebleed and passed out from the sheer violence and being unable to breathe. So... sometimes your body is warning you about stuff, too.
NTA at all! MIL is just trying to exercise her "adult power" over a kid. I can understand food preferences because I'm not very fond of certain food types myself (bean sprouts, ginger in solid form) but I do find it interesting (personal opinion) that kiddo can't stand even portobello mushrooms given that I'd need at least a good chunk of my salary alone to afford some of it (Just musing anyway. No judgment).
Your mother in law sucks for making a child, her own grandchild go hungry. Good for you for standing up for your daughter! That woman is disturbed.
I've always hated mushrooms. Being vegetarian, it's super tough because it's a huge substitute. So I've managed to accept some dishes over the years if the mushroom is cut up really, really small but I still can't deal with mushrooms as a whole. And it's a taste that leeches into the rest of the dish, you can't just pick them out. MIL is an AH for sure. I bet there's at least one food in the world she doesn't want to eat (even if it's something unusual to Western culture like locusts)
Beyond me how a grandmother could do this, bet she was a holy terror as a mother.
What does gma hate in the way of food and put that in every dish you serve. Then teach your daughter to cook some simple meals.
You should find out a food the mil doesn't like, and have that as the main ingredient if you ever make dinner for her.
It's a similar thing in my family, growing up my brother wouldn't (knowingly) eat a mushroom, I don't care for most varieties of rice or corn off the cob -- everyone has their own tolerances for tastes and textures...
I wonder what the MIL dislikes the most - she should be made to eat it regularly! Also I bet she didn't tell the other family members the whole story, otherwise they would not be sending nasty msgs to you.
Straight up child abuse. It would be one thing if she were a picky eater. Maybe I could see a case of pushing the envelope but certainly not 2 weeks worth and foregoing eating altogether. But this was an established food she did not like. One she clearly tried and make concluded it was intolerable to her. That's not pickiness. That's personal taste. No amount of force feeding is going to change that. In fact, force feeding will dig that hole even deeper as it won't just be a physical distate for it but a mental/emotional one on top of it.
That's a nasty MIL there. Trying nicely to get a kid on occasion to eat their veggies is one thing but purposely cooking mushrooms all the time when she hates them. I don't get it, just because she's a child, why is she not entitled to dislike a certain food? Many adults are even like that. I hate anchovies, would she do that to an adult and constantly cook me dishes with anchovies in it? That's child abuse really.
I think the mother-in-law must have had a doozy of a mother or father. People will repeat the ways they were raised sometimes. They feel that I survived this and so must she. There is probably a true and unhappy life story in the mother-in-law's background. Maybe the OP, her husband and mother-in-law can sit down with a therapist or counselor and find out why this happened with the granddaughter.
The mil is my mother in carnet. She used to insist on adding cayenne pepper to things for flavor. To this day I cannot stomach overly hot and spicy foods, they still send my stomach churning. Why do this to your kids deliberately??
I just want to know how MIL is so dense as to not understand that now OP's daughter is going to have an even stronger aversion to mushrooms because there's now yet ANOTHER negative connotation to them. So now on top of just not liking them, now they're directly associated with being a punishment, effectively. That is horrid behaviour. I disliked sweet vegetables like carrots and corn when I was a kid, so my mom made them for the rest of the family and steamed broccoli for me instead (it's such a strange quirk - as an adult it seems I can't really taste bitterness like other people do, so things like 90% dark chocolate and black coffee are things I love, but I'm ultrasensitive to sweet tastes). But as an adult, I don't hate the vegetables I disliked as a child, and I'm sure part of that comes down to the fact that I wasn't forced to eat them.
Everyone has preferences. I don't like pigs feet or eggplant or head cheese but I have eaten "street" food in Korea, Saudi Arabia, Taiwan and Thailand. Go figure.
children are always not going like something. that doesnt give you the right to starve them. how horrible!
If someone isn't a picky eater, but they happen to dislike one food, it's pretty typical for it to turn out that they're actually allergic to it. That happened to me. I hated celery as a kid and I hate it now. It tastes like the smell of a hot tire to me. I thought it was weird when I found out other people don't taste it like that. Turns out I'm allergic to latex, the stuff rubber is made out of, which apparently also exists in celery. My body was trying to warn me to avoid it. You really shouldn't force a kid to eat something they don't like if they've already proven they're an adventurous eater. There could be a good reason for it.
As I kid I hated, and I still do hate meat. The texture is the problem. I have literally never eaten a whole steak, once when I was like 10 my mom promised me some money just to see if I actually COULD eat it, I threw up after 1/3rd. I can take a bite or two, but after that it becomes too difficult.
I love and worship the fungus gods, but why would I waste the good ones on others? As the only one who likes them in the house, I get small quantities of really excellent/expensive ones and it's affordable... Pearls for swine, to buy them for the others.
See, I hate mushrooms. I've tried so many times over the years to get to like them: eating the mushroom that always comes with steak and chips at the pub; mushroom arancini (actually tolerable); mushroom burgers; mushroom soup, but I just can't like them. I did have a wild mushroom soup once that was quite nice, but just the texture of mushrooms puts me off. The taste is quite bad, but the texture is the deal breaker.
Load More Replies... Why are people like this? My mother and I take my niece in law and grand niece and nephew to lunch. The little girl loves broccoli and the boy loves calamari. You can bet they get to eat everybody's broccoli and calamari till they are full. It's a joy to watch kids enjoy their food, it's something you want to see, how can it be any other way if there is love? Also, our family always made sure kids eat first it's just the way we were raised, you nurture and feed the most vulnerable first. Surely this is common sense?
Unless there is a food allergies. Such as in peanuts. I personally at allergic to jalapenos, have been for years. Every time I go anywhere, certain dishes have to be done without . And I can't afford the epi pen 🖊️.
Just wondering if this felt like a 10 year old wrote this to anyone else?
haha ppl are so spoiled, its just food jesus what a spoiled kid she couldve just eaten around the mushroom. people really have no idea what real abuse is or feels like. not saying shes right, there's kinder ways to introduce a new food. but ppl saying this is bullying or abuse, nah just old fashioned parenting ppl so spoiled. they are not going to kill her, kid sounds like a brat
She is starving the kid. Why couldn't she just not make dishes with mushroom in it?
Load More Replies... How you came to the conclusion that the parents are c**p is beyond me.
Load More Replies... why didn't MIL just... not cook stuff with mushrooms? Mushrooms are easily avoidable, trust me
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