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Woman Is Asking If She Was A Jerk For Kicking Her Boyfriend Out Of Her Apartment When She Overheard Him Talking Maliciously To Her Cat
Woman Is Asking If She Was A Jerk For Kicking Her Boyfriend Out Of Her Apartment When She Overheard Him Talking Maliciously To Her Cat
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Woman Is Asking If She Was A Jerk For Kicking Her Boyfriend Out Of Her Apartment When She Overheard Him Talking Maliciously To Her Cat

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Pets often are considered members of the family and loved as much as a human baby would be. But not everyone shares that sentiment and they think, rather, that animals are always less important than humans, disregarding the fact that people can form bonds with their pets that are even stronger than those with people.

Even though pets can’t talk, they show affection and will never judge you and others find comfort in that. They will choose their pet over a person they love if the need comes. And it sometimes comes. Like for the Reddit user catwoesthrowaway who shared a story how her boyfriend didn’t like her cat and one day she just asked him to leave.

More info: Reddit

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    This woman tells a story how her boyfriend with whom she was living really didn’t like her cat, and one time she really was scared for her, so she asked the boyfriend to leave

    Image credits: catwoesthrowaway (the actual photo)

    The Original Poster (OP) is a 24-year-old woman and she was living with her older boyfriend at the time of telling her story. The boyfriend had actually moved in with her after considering it for a while.

    The woman has a cat named Millie and the boyfriend wasn’t very fond of her. He actually suggested that she should get rid of her, because he really dislikes cats and is more of a dog person. At first this attitude wasn’t concerning for the girlfriend and she just dismissed it. Also, he was willing to deal with it because the cat was so important to the woman.

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    Image credits: catwoesthrowaway

    Even before starting living together, the boyfriend made it clear he didn’t like cats, but the girlfriend didn’t take it seriously

    Image credits: catwoesthrowaway

    But there was an incident and the OP wanted to hear what the situation looks like from a bystander’s point of view. So what was the breaking point was the woman hearing her boyfriend say to Millie “You’re so f*****g worthless.”

    She described that there was so much malice in that tone and that the woman had never heard her boyfriend talk like that. She really got scared and started freaking out. The woman told her boyfriend to leave her apartment, not caring that he has no other place to live.

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    Image credits: catwoesthrowaway

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    But when they started to plan to live together, she found out the boyfriend wasn’t joking, but she wouldn’t abandon her cat

    Image credits: catwoesthrowaway

    The redditor calmed down and that same day talked to her boyfriend. He explained that he felt hurt the way she said that the apartment was hers and not theirs. He also was upset that she would choose an animal over a human being. Regarding the way he had talked to the cat earlier, the boyfriend explained that he was just playing and had misjudged his tone.

    At the end of the story, catwoesthrowaway admitted that she felt bad for acting the way she did, but she believes her first instinct was correct, so now it is up to the reader to decide on which side of the fence they stand.

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    Image credits: catwoesthrowaway

    The boyfriend was willing to deal with it but one night, not knowing his girlfriend was near, he was mean to the cat

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    Image credits: catwoesthrowaway

    If you’ve made up your mind, the story actually doesn’t end here. The redditor wrote an update post and we got to know the aftermath of the evening. The woman felt relieved that people in the comments just confirmed what had crossed her mind already. She said, “that post validated all the fears that I had kept dismissing as dramatic, and it was almost a relief to be encouraged by strangers to do something I had previously been too afraid to do.”

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    The OP got really scared as she’d never heard her boyfriend sound so malicious and demanded that he leave

    Image credits: catwoesthrowaway

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    Turns out, the couple broke up. The boyfriend had to leave as the apartment was OP’s and he wasn’t on the lease yet, so it was an easy process. It was easy logistically, but not emotionally as the woman opened up, “It was hard to lose somebody I trusted and thought I knew well, but based on his reaction I knew I made the right call. He essentially told me that if I couldn’t learn to put other humans before my cat, I’d be alone for a very long time, and that he’d be waiting for me to reach out.”

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    When they both calmed down and talked, the boyfriend expressed what was hurting him, and the OP was feeling bad for acting the way she did

    Image credits: catwoesthrowaway

    But she still felt that her instincts were right from the start even though she thinks she might have overreacted

    Image credits: catwoesthrowaway

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    Many people mentioned that catwoesthrowaway was being gaslighted and it was not the first time she had heard that about her boyfriend from somebody else, because her sisters agreed with the internet’s opinion. The OP added a photo of Millie and we put it at the beginning of the article for you to see the cuteness.

    Now we would like to hear your opinion and thoughts. Would you say that the woman was the bad guy in this situation or do you see red flags in how the boyfriend was acting? Have you ever been in a similar situation and how did you solve it? We learn a lot from your experiences!

    People in the comments were actually concerned for Millie and saw many red flags, so they came to the conclusion that the OP didn’t do anything wrong

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    Jurgita Dominauskaitė

    Jurgita Dominauskaitė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    Having started as a content creator that made articles for Bored Panda from scratch I climbed my way up to being and editor and then had team lead responsibilities added as well. So it was a pretty natural transition from writing articles and titles as well as preparing the visual part for the articles to making sure others are doing those same tasks as I did before well, answering their questions and guiding them when needed. Eventually I realized editing gives me the most enjoyment and I'm focusing only on that right now.

    Read less »
    Jurgita Dominauskaitė

    Jurgita Dominauskaitė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Having started as a content creator that made articles for Bored Panda from scratch I climbed my way up to being and editor and then had team lead responsibilities added as well. So it was a pretty natural transition from writing articles and titles as well as preparing the visual part for the articles to making sure others are doing those same tasks as I did before well, answering their questions and guiding them when needed. Eventually I realized editing gives me the most enjoyment and I'm focusing only on that right now.

    What do you think ?
    Viviane
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The upshot: they broke up. https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/pgipko/update_aita_for_kicking_my_boyfriend_out_over_my/

    Leo Domitrix
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Good. He knew there was a cat. If it was a deal-breaker, he could've walked. And if he's that mean to a cat, he'll be that mean to children and her.... or odds are in favor of it.

    Load More Replies...
    Susie Elle
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The fact that he feels upstaged by a cat says something about him. The bottom line for me would be that he's someone who would want you to get rid of a beloved pet, simply because he's 'not a cat-person'. I mean, if you're heavily allergic I can see how living with someone who has a cat may be an issue, but 'I'm not a cat-person' is NO reason to then expect someone else to get rid of their cat.

    Bunzilla
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He isn't just 'not a cat person', he's a cat-hater. A grown man jealous of a cat suggests he's controlling and he doesn't like that her cat is 'coming between them'. And honestly, those are huge red flags. He's hiding his true colours, and she just heard it come out when he cursed at her cat when he thought she wasn't around. I don't see how a dog is any more 'useful' than a cat? These types of people like dogs because dogs obey and love unconditionally. They hate cats because cats are more independent and you have to EARN a cat's love and trust. Then he totally gaslit her by saying he was just being 'playful'. I hope she dumped the creep before he could hurt her cat-- or her.

    Load More Replies...
    DennyS (denzoren)
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There is no circumstance where you should have to get rid of your cat. I'd be over the moon if I was dating someone with a cat.

    Viviane
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sweet! One of my nephews broke up (on good terms) with someone who has three cats. He asked for and obtained visitation rights to see the cats. :)

    Load More Replies...
    tw 72
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's not even about the cat. He wants ALL of the attention. Trust me on this - he will not like it when you spend time with your friends and family either or on your own personal hobbies. Don't even THINK about having kids! You will spend your days making sure his personal pedestal is high enough to keep him happy, while everything and everyone in your life suffers.

    Lara M
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It doesn't matter what the ostensible reason is - someone who is mean to an animal is not a good person. Period, full stop, end of story. It shows how they're willing to treat someone who is small and powerless.

    Naomi
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "It shows how they're willing to treat someone who is small and powerless." Yes! That part! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 I have no clue how anyone worth a s**t could even bring themselves to say something like that.

    Load More Replies...
    Beth L
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My sister married a not-a-cat-person person. He learned pretty quickly how to get along with the cat she already had when they met, and they all peacefully co-existed for over a decade before the cat died of old age.

    Joan Zatorski
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Studies in psychology show that over time, Abusive and violent behaviors escalate if the underlying issues (deep insecurity, lack of coping or skills, etc) are not addressed via counseling, therapy, etc. So I suspect the BF would become more verbally abusive toward Millie the cat , eventually crossing the line to physical abuse or making Millie "disappear". We also know that people who are abusive toward animals are more prone to crossing over to abuse of people. OP is wise to have no further contact with this exBF. Were I OP, I would even move to a new apartment with no forwarding address & change my phone #. At the very least, OP must change her locks & make neighbors aware they broke up. Hope Milli lives a long sweet life with OP!

    Laugh or not
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She did better : she learned about gaslighting and removed the guy before the situation got bad.

    Load More Replies...
    Claire Stanfield
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Here's the thing. Cats are independent, they do what they want, and they don't take any crap. I prefer dogs, but I love their unflaggingly positive energy. Cats are awesome, you just have to let them be who they are. Controlling guys can't do this, and it's an excellent litmus test. There's a world of difference between 'I am not really a cat person/used to cats' and 'I am exclusively a dog person because cats are evil / terrible / cold / unfeeling creatures who hate me'.

    Max
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yep. Person who doesn't like cats is entitled to their opinion. Person who hates cats is a big red flag.

    Load More Replies...
    Sarah Kathrin Matsoukis
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm an extremely insecure person but when I see people getting jealous over pets I know I'm good.

    TheWickedOne
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd do the same if someone tried to make me get rid of my dog/cat... GTFO then... nobody forces you to live with me.. F**K OFF

    Load More Comments
    Viviane
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The upshot: they broke up. https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/pgipko/update_aita_for_kicking_my_boyfriend_out_over_my/

    Leo Domitrix
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Good. He knew there was a cat. If it was a deal-breaker, he could've walked. And if he's that mean to a cat, he'll be that mean to children and her.... or odds are in favor of it.

    Load More Replies...
    Susie Elle
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The fact that he feels upstaged by a cat says something about him. The bottom line for me would be that he's someone who would want you to get rid of a beloved pet, simply because he's 'not a cat-person'. I mean, if you're heavily allergic I can see how living with someone who has a cat may be an issue, but 'I'm not a cat-person' is NO reason to then expect someone else to get rid of their cat.

    Bunzilla
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He isn't just 'not a cat person', he's a cat-hater. A grown man jealous of a cat suggests he's controlling and he doesn't like that her cat is 'coming between them'. And honestly, those are huge red flags. He's hiding his true colours, and she just heard it come out when he cursed at her cat when he thought she wasn't around. I don't see how a dog is any more 'useful' than a cat? These types of people like dogs because dogs obey and love unconditionally. They hate cats because cats are more independent and you have to EARN a cat's love and trust. Then he totally gaslit her by saying he was just being 'playful'. I hope she dumped the creep before he could hurt her cat-- or her.

    Load More Replies...
    DennyS (denzoren)
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There is no circumstance where you should have to get rid of your cat. I'd be over the moon if I was dating someone with a cat.

    Viviane
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sweet! One of my nephews broke up (on good terms) with someone who has three cats. He asked for and obtained visitation rights to see the cats. :)

    Load More Replies...
    tw 72
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's not even about the cat. He wants ALL of the attention. Trust me on this - he will not like it when you spend time with your friends and family either or on your own personal hobbies. Don't even THINK about having kids! You will spend your days making sure his personal pedestal is high enough to keep him happy, while everything and everyone in your life suffers.

    Lara M
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It doesn't matter what the ostensible reason is - someone who is mean to an animal is not a good person. Period, full stop, end of story. It shows how they're willing to treat someone who is small and powerless.

    Naomi
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "It shows how they're willing to treat someone who is small and powerless." Yes! That part! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 I have no clue how anyone worth a s**t could even bring themselves to say something like that.

    Load More Replies...
    Beth L
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My sister married a not-a-cat-person person. He learned pretty quickly how to get along with the cat she already had when they met, and they all peacefully co-existed for over a decade before the cat died of old age.

    Joan Zatorski
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Studies in psychology show that over time, Abusive and violent behaviors escalate if the underlying issues (deep insecurity, lack of coping or skills, etc) are not addressed via counseling, therapy, etc. So I suspect the BF would become more verbally abusive toward Millie the cat , eventually crossing the line to physical abuse or making Millie "disappear". We also know that people who are abusive toward animals are more prone to crossing over to abuse of people. OP is wise to have no further contact with this exBF. Were I OP, I would even move to a new apartment with no forwarding address & change my phone #. At the very least, OP must change her locks & make neighbors aware they broke up. Hope Milli lives a long sweet life with OP!

    Laugh or not
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She did better : she learned about gaslighting and removed the guy before the situation got bad.

    Load More Replies...
    Claire Stanfield
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Here's the thing. Cats are independent, they do what they want, and they don't take any crap. I prefer dogs, but I love their unflaggingly positive energy. Cats are awesome, you just have to let them be who they are. Controlling guys can't do this, and it's an excellent litmus test. There's a world of difference between 'I am not really a cat person/used to cats' and 'I am exclusively a dog person because cats are evil / terrible / cold / unfeeling creatures who hate me'.

    Max
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yep. Person who doesn't like cats is entitled to their opinion. Person who hates cats is a big red flag.

    Load More Replies...
    Sarah Kathrin Matsoukis
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm an extremely insecure person but when I see people getting jealous over pets I know I'm good.

    TheWickedOne
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd do the same if someone tried to make me get rid of my dog/cat... GTFO then... nobody forces you to live with me.. F**K OFF

    Load More Comments
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