When a man hesitates to hug male friends in public or sweats at the mere thought of carrying a female friend’s purse for her, it makes you wonder how come this is such a big deal. But while we all bear different perspectives on the world around us, some of these unexplainable behaviors can reveal a way bigger picture.

People say it has to do with some men being insecure about their masculinity. How come? Well, it’s the fear of losing one's status as a “real man” in other people’s eyes, which makes the guy think he would be looked at as tenuous. There’s an old-fashioned belief that a man has to earn his status through proof of action, or a test of some sort, that makes him the man he really is. And although many men are aware of the fact that this is not how gender works, some still follow this ancient notion of manhood.

So when a TikToker @richtiktoxic asked people “What is something that men do that lets you know their insecure about their masculinity?” his video went viral with 1.1M views. “I’ll go first. As soon as a man refers to himself as an alpha, you know he’s insecure,” said Rich and passed the baton onto other people on social media who had a lot to say on the topic.

@richtiktoxic

Stitch or Duet me with your favorite indicator!! #stitchthis #toxicmasculinity #peab

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#1

Insecure-Men-Masculinity-Signs

basicminiwheats Report

Marianne
Community Member
3 weeks ago

I would even call that abusive.

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#2

Insecure-Men-Masculinity-Signs

richtiktoxic Report

elStiJneriNO
Community Member
3 weeks ago

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asking on tik tok for other men's insecurities is also a very good one

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Bored Panda reached out to the author of the video named Richard, better known by his TikTok handle @rich.tik.toxic. Rich is a successful online content creator and journalist with 333.7k TikTok followers who was happy to answer some questions for us. When asked how Rich got the idea to ask people about the signs of insecure masculinity, the author said that “the video that sparked this entire debate was one created by my good friend Brittany Guzman (@_brittguz on TikTok).”

“It was a reference to a study done in the UK regarding the prevalence of sexual harassment. She encountered an incredible amount of hate comments simply for referencing a study. Men made it known they were unhappy with her bringing this data to light; so much so that at one point I think her video had 100 likes and 1000 comments,” Rich explained.

#3

Insecure-Men-Masculinity-Signs

toxicatok Report

ravina nimje
Community Member
3 weeks ago

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Epic!

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#4

Insecure-Men-Masculinity-Signs

reggieherold Report

Anthony
Community Member
3 weeks ago

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But they're simps! That will not change

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“In comparison,” he continued: “most videos have five to ten times more likes than comments. If you are not a man who sexually harasses women, why would you be triggered by this study? I realized it's because 'being a man' has become the defining characteristic of men’s self-identity.”

Rich also said that “Pointing out how problematic typical male behavior has become is perceived by men as a personal attack.” According to him, “until men can realize that their biological sex is no more than a scientific category, they’ll be unable to truly define their self-identity.”

#5

Insecure-Men-Masculinity-Signs

basicminiwheats Report

elStiJneriNO
Community Member
3 weeks ago

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doesn't it make more sense to ask it before being intimate then after? STD wise...

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#6

Insecure-Men-Masculinity-Signs

jasiah.official Report

elStiJneriNO
Community Member
3 weeks ago

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even when it's cooking, ironing or vacuuming?

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Speaking of the answers he received, Rich said a few of them caught him by surprise, “more so because of how accurate and detailed many of the responses were. Just about all of these behaviors are the manifestation of outdated societal norms that men are told to abide by.”

“Things like driving a lifted truck, unnecessary assertions of dominance, and disliking anything feminine were common responses. Those behaviors seem so ridiculous when looked at from an objective standpoint.”

#7

Insecure-Men-Masculinity-Signs

xaviertainment Report

ravina nimje
Community Member
3 weeks ago

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Again, all men I know.

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#8

Insecure-Men-Masculinity-Signs

leap.of.hope Report

ravina nimje
Community Member
3 weeks ago

you forgot "Nice booty"

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“The beauty of the time we live in is that you get to be whoever you want,” Rich said and added: “Don't do yourself the injustice of using outdated gender stereotypes and norms to create your identity. Stop putting value in the contemporary ideals of what is masculine and what is feminine.”

“Masculinity is defined,” he concluded, “as having the traits of someone who identifies as a man. If you identify as a man, you are already masculine. You get to decide what masculinity means for you.”

#9

Insecure-Men-Masculinity-Signs

nazcanukagirl Report

elStiJneriNO
Community Member
3 weeks ago (edited)

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hehehehe size 8. he's right to hide it. he would get destroyed. your ex is a smart man

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#10

Insecure-Men-Masculinity-Signs

reggieherold Report

elStiJneriNO
Community Member
3 weeks ago

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that's only valid if they don't say it to every straight female either

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#11

Insecure-Men-Masculinity-Signs

vikingwerewolf Report

JXXXF
Community Member
3 weeks ago

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This one also applies to booth genders... and it funny because I am sure this guy would get defensive if confronted about it... pot, kettle, black...

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Rich’s TikTok audience is expanding rapidly, but he assured us that he never wanted to be an influencer. “Even calling myself an influencer feels so ridiculous. I was always the person behind the camera. I worked with a few social media celebrities when I was starting as a photographer and videographer creating viral content on platforms like Snapchat and Instagram,” the author confessed.

#12

Insecure-Men-Masculinity-Signs

jasiah.official Report

ravina nimje
Community Member
3 weeks ago

Maybe they are and too scared to come out.

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#13

Insecure-Men-Masculinity-Signs

reggieherold Report

Anthony
Community Member
3 weeks ago

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I can describe myself in anyway i like e.g super straight

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#14

Insecure-Men-Masculinity-Signs

basicminiwheats Report

elStiJneriNO
Community Member
3 weeks ago

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and on top, it's also a good sentence to trigger women insecurities

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“However, my life's goal has always been to do everything possible to save the planet. As I got older, I started to realize that without copious amounts of money, the only way I could have a substantial impact would be to put myself both behind and in front of the camera. That's when I started utilizing everything I had learned in the years creating content for influencers for my own content.”

#15

Insecure-Men-Masculinity-Signs

jasiah.official Report

Demi Zwaan
Community Member
3 weeks ago

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Why is he dressed like Black Pete?

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#16

Insecure-Men-Masculinity-Signs

cwelz_ Report

JXXXF
Community Member
3 weeks ago

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I think this one applies to both genders though

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#17

Insecure-Men-Masculinity-Signs

fullstripe Report

elStiJneriNO
Community Member
3 weeks ago

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and sometimes we also just dislike something. like watching mediocre football, or watching k-pop singers

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Rich believes that as much as virality hinges on luck, “the only people that get lucky creating viral videos are the ones actively trying to create them. Fight to get to the front of the line so you have the highest chance of actually getting what you want,” he concluded.

#18

Insecure-Men-Masculinity-Signs

jasiah.official Report

elStiJneriNO
Community Member
3 weeks ago

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i always think it's weird how people say we should show our feelings. But if we show any form of agression we should hide it. if we can't show our bad defensive side, why would we show our sensitive side?

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#19

Insecure-Men-Masculinity-Signs

jasiah.official Report

Sven Devestele
Community Member
3 weeks ago

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As in not all men are rapist? Because not all men are. That's just a fact

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#20

Insecure-Men-Masculinity-Signs

four_eyed_yeti Report

elStiJneriNO
Community Member
3 weeks ago

make it a mojito and i'm there!!

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See Also on Bored Panda
#21

Insecure-Men-Masculinity-Signs

mmdvg40 Report

Edward Shaw
Community Member
3 weeks ago

Men who share their sexual exploits. why??

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#22

Insecure-Men-Masculinity-Signs

four_eyed_yeti Report

Lauren Caswell
Community Member
3 weeks ago (edited)

I've had that tried on me, but I have a killer grip strength so they only try it once :) still hurts tho! (Edit: my legs are ok-ish for walking and not much else, So I do most chores purely on arm strength where possible, hence crazy grip. One of my only physical strengths ^-^)

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#23

Insecure-Men-Masculinity-Signs

jasiah.official Report

JXXXF
Community Member
3 weeks ago

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Men wearing nail polish is not normal, I am sorry...

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#24

Insecure-Men-Masculinity-Signs

mmdvg40 Report

Verena Gitterle
Community Member
3 weeks ago

That`s envy

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#25

Insecure-Men-Masculinity-Signs

jasiah.official Report

Anthony
Community Member
3 weeks ago

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I've noticed most of these tik tokers are gay who hate men for no reason!

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#26

Insecure-Men-Masculinity-Signs

guncledann Report

Bobert Robertson
Community Member
3 weeks ago

Wait what? People don't like when a woman compliments them on their appearance? It's nice to hear from anyone, male or female, that you look good today

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#27

Insecure-Men-Masculinity-Signs

guncledann Report

Anthony
Community Member
3 weeks ago

That has to do with individuals! We're all different

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#28

Insecure-Men-Masculinity-Signs

multistan79 Report

Millar
Community Member
3 weeks ago

I really don’t think being critical of k-pop is a sign of anything

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#29

Insecure-Men-Masculinity-Signs

jxdahparker Report

elStiJneriNO
Community Member
3 weeks ago

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i once threw a basketball in the hoop from 2 meters behind the 3point line.

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