Woman Chooses To Die On The Hill Of Not Allowing Her Husband’s Infertile Friend To Give Her Child A Name He Likes
Some parents’ decisions don’t have that much of an impact on their children’s lives, like coming up with what to make for dinner or choosing an outfit for them. But most of them are kind of important, like helping the kids pick a hobby and giving tools to pursue it, or signing them up for a certain school.
The important decisions start even before the baby is born. The mom has to make a conscious effort to have a healthy lifestyle and not allow stress to get the best of her. The parents also usually pick the name for the baby while they are still growing in the belly. The name will be part of the child’s identity and most likely stick with them for their whole lives, so it’s an aspect that requires a lot of thinking.
That is why this mom on Reddit was so reluctant to accept a baby name offer from her husband’s friend. Not only because she didn’t like the name, but because of how he behaved and was almost possessive over the unborn child. She flipped and her husband left the house for the night, but the woman is willing to die on this hill.
More info: Reddit
Husband didn’t return home all night after an argument with his wife about the name of their baby, but the mom isn’t willing to compromise
Image credits: Alick Sung (not the actual photo)
The Original Poster’s (OP) husband has a friend, named Will, who has been married two times but got divorced because he is infertile and even though he knew about it, he hid it from his wives. What is sad about this is that Will actually likes kids and would love to have one, so the news about the infertility really devastated him. However, it seemed that he lit up again when he found out that the OP is pregnant.
Will was super happy and took up the role of a grandfather or a godfather as he started buying gifts for the baby and helped with the baby’s room decorations. Such excitement made the future mom feel uncomfortable, but her husband didn’t see anything wrong with it.
When the OP and her husband found out the gender of the baby, Will started talking with the baby, referring to it with a name he would have given to his child if he was able to have one. The husband considered the decision to already be made and didn’t even bother to discuss the name with his wife.
The OP’s husband has a friend who is infertile but loves children, so when he found out that the OP is pregnant, he showered her with gifts for the baby
Image credits: System-Bond1907
The husband thought that because Will was so helpful and because he has had such a hard life, using his baby name would be a nice gesture that would make him immensely happy. The mom didn’t think so and when her husband tried to convince her it is a good idea, she lost her nerve and Will heard when she said that the baby is hers and not the friend’s.
Will left and the husband left with him, but not before yelling at his wife for being so heartless and reminding her that the baby is also his. The woman did feel bad that her husband would think she is selfish and heartless, but she is ready to die on this hill and won’t give the baby the name that his friend suggested.
This is a really tricky situation because when parents are discussing names and they are just words from a dictionary or popular name list, it is easier to disagree because there are no emotions attached. But if one of the parents wants to name a baby after their late relative, or, like in this case, give a name that a friend suggested to make them happy, you automatically assume that your partner doesn’t like the person that you consider dear if they refuse to accept that name.
That was nice, but it got creepy when Will started addressing the baby by the name he would have given to his own child if he had one
Image credits: System-Bond1907
Image credits: madgerly (not the actual photo)
A name can have a huge impact on a person’s life and you don’t even need research to understand that, but there actually is, and some of the more interesting findings are that people with more simple, easy-to-pronounce and more popular names or noble-sounding names tend to be more successful in their careers. People think you are smarter if you have a middle name, and women with gender-neutral names have an easier time getting acknowledgement in male-dominated fields.
There are some ways a name may change the course of a person’s life, but what about their mental health when children get teased about their unusual name, or if the name is easily shortened to a funny word? These are things to consider when looking through name lists.
He then started begging the parents to use that name and the dad thought it was a great idea, but the mom didn’t see why the friend had a say when it wasn’t his baby
Image credits: System-Bond1907
Pregnancy and parenting brand What To Expect advises parents who can’t decide on a baby name to talk about it and to dig deeper into the reasons for disliking a name: “For instance, your partner may have disliked being one of five Jasons in his class while you disliked having to spell your name for every teacher.”
Morally speaking, both parents should be on the same page and if one of them can’t be talked into a name, then they should search for an option that would satisfy both of them. Pressuring one parent to give up and agree may lead to regrets later.
Will got upset and left, the husband followed him and returned only in the morning, but the OP isn’t willing to step back
Image credits: Chad Kittel (not the actual photo)
Redditors completely understood where the OP was coming from and actually found Will creepy. There were some speculations that her husband and Will are a couple, but the woman explained that they are just really good friends that almost grew up together. Whatever the situation may be, everyone agreed that the mom has the right to refuse to give her child a name that she doesn’t see fitting.
What do you think about this situation? Why do you think the husband is on his friend’s side and allows him to be so involved that it leads to him not returning home for the night? Were you ever pressured to give your child a name you didn’t like or that didn’t feel right? Let us know your thoughts and experiences in the comments!
Redditors found Will creepy and agreed that if one of the parents doesn’t agree, then that name can’t be an option
I feel like Will making the kid the name he would have given his own son would make things worse, not provide closure. He's already deeply attached and involved, which could turn out fine (maybe with some therapy), but don't make it seem like this is Will's child. At best it's cruel, at worst it's dangerous.
Exactly, letting him name the baby is only going to make him feel more involved, not a good idea when he's already overstepped her boundaries.
Load More Replies... If the husband and friend hadn't been so weird and obsessive about it, I might suggest considering using the name as a middle name or letting Will be a godparent. However, the way the two men are behaving i wouldn't want my baby to have any more of a connection with Will than father's best mate. Will needs serious therapy, he wouldn't go against his family and adopt or foster but wants to name a child he has no parental or familiar connection to.
Agreed. Also, I think if they went down the middle-name route, they (husband and Will) would just use that name instead of the first name. So, Will would just get his way in the end anyway.
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Die on this hill, girl. Your husband's audacity is insane. To agree to using the name without even speaking to the woman carrying the baby inside her is SOOOO f****d. Make sure you are awake and aware when that birth certificate shows up in your room to be signed. I have an eerie feeling your husband would go behind your back and give the baby Will's name if you were asleep... My father in law did it to my mother in law.
I feel like Will making the kid the name he would have given his own son would make things worse, not provide closure. He's already deeply attached and involved, which could turn out fine (maybe with some therapy), but don't make it seem like this is Will's child. At best it's cruel, at worst it's dangerous.
Exactly, letting him name the baby is only going to make him feel more involved, not a good idea when he's already overstepped her boundaries.
Load More Replies... If the husband and friend hadn't been so weird and obsessive about it, I might suggest considering using the name as a middle name or letting Will be a godparent. However, the way the two men are behaving i wouldn't want my baby to have any more of a connection with Will than father's best mate. Will needs serious therapy, he wouldn't go against his family and adopt or foster but wants to name a child he has no parental or familiar connection to.
Agreed. Also, I think if they went down the middle-name route, they (husband and Will) would just use that name instead of the first name. So, Will would just get his way in the end anyway.
Load More Replies... Die on this hill, girl. Your husband's audacity is insane. To agree to using the name without even speaking to the woman carrying the baby inside her is SOOOO f****d. Make sure you are awake and aware when that birth certificate shows up in your room to be signed. I have an eerie feeling your husband would go behind your back and give the baby Will's name if you were asleep... My father in law did it to my mother in law.
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