When I was a preschooler, the top 2 questions that various adults asked me were always “What do you want to become when you grow up?” (well, yes, a 3 Y.O. kid makes some Napoleonic plans...) and “Who do you love more, dad or mom?” (great, then why not ask which lung is more comfortable for me to breathe with?)
Decades have passed - and we, adults, still continue to ask children, our own and others', questions of varying degrees of stupidity and inappropriateness, without even realizing that we're unwittingly traumatizing them. So here are almost three dozen similar stories, collected by Bored Panda from this viral thread in the AskReddit community.
More info: Reddit
This post may include affiliate links.
Asking a teenage girl if she's on her period any time she shows any emotion
“Why are you playing with [gender specific toy]? That’s for boys/girls.”
Dumbest thing ever. Toys do not have an assigned gender. My daughter and son play together, whether it's with dolls or cars, I don't see a problem if they enjoy what they are playing with.
My daughter plays with whatever fascinates her, or whatever she chooses. If she's happy and having fun then I'm happy. That little giggle with glee is music to my ears.
Not just toys, reading books. The religious fanatic breeders tried to kill my curiosity into anything they didn't approve of (i.e. science and mathematics).
I'm sorry 😞...I was in a somewhat similar situation for a summer of punishment...sent to an overly religious foster home, thank God it was only a few months I hope you're doing well now 😊❤️ 🤗
Load More Replies...
Perfect example - many/most of these obnoxious questions are not AIMED at the children - they are aimed at the PARENT - and are intentionally aimed at ENFORCING the questioner's "tribal" dogmas. "Parent- you are HARMING your child!" is the message intended. So, the kid gets run over in the process? Serves you right! CONFORM - or I will be back...
I'm a boomer and there was a veery toxic dad at my sons second birthday. His little boy spent the party playing with the doll and stroller my son got as a gift. I still giggle when I remember that a*s hat's face and him trying to get his son to play with the trucks my son got. My son played with and slept with that baby doll for years and he is so good with children as an adult.
Good for you. My son liked caring for his doll and is also good with children now.
Load More Replies...
Took relatives a bit to figure out that I preferred Tonka trucks over dolls. I think they finally figured it out when they found the dolls mutilated (think Weird Barbie).
I grew up in the 80s and my mom let me play with whatever toy I was interested in. Which meant that I played with TONKA trucks and Matchbox cars as well as My Little Pony and Barbie. Radical thinking back then but something I'm super grateful to her for doing.
I don't understand why people do that "if you're a boy you play with trucks" c**p. I'm a female and I love me some racing vehicles and monster trucks!
Yep, one of the dumbest questions ever! My son has a couple barbie dolls and baby dolls he asked for. He rarely plays with them vs his Legos or superheroes, but he still plays with them and we've never questioned it. They're toys. He's a kid. None of that c**p matters. My husband's mother started saying something about it once, we shut that down immediately. Lol I've even painted his nails a few times, I'm sure some people would have a cow about that, too! I've never asked him, but periodically he sees me painting my nails and he wants his done, too! It's fun heh
I'm female. I collect Hotwheels. I've played with boys toys since I was a kid (more fun to play with, girly stuff sucks, except for a few things). My only Barbie doll got a mohawk. I had a certification for welding. I have a diploma on auto mechanics. I've been asked so much of this question I finally said f-off.
When I was a boy, I told my parents that I wanted a doll, specifically a nun doll like my teacher. They got it for me without a qualm. (I had already set aside the long thin needles myself.)
I saw a flowchart about this a while back do you use your genitals to operate the toy? if yes, toy is not for kids. if no, the kid can play with the toy,
Tell you what, my boyfriend is super excited my daughter loves boy toys because he gets that fun play too
When my son was a toddler, he picked out a sippy cup set with a pink and purple cup at target. He loved them. His dad scolded me for making such a ridiculous purchase. Needless to say, he is no longer around (for other reasons). A parent who cares about the gender of what they play with or what they drink out of is a parent who doesn't care about the right things... Like showing up.
I loved playing with my Dads mecano set. I enjoyed making things, using tools, gardening, working with animals. My grandmother preferred me playing with dolls. Because apparently that's what little girls do. Or did in the '60's.
I compromised by drawing, and going to ballet.
Load More Replies...
I saw a guy speaking on TikTok as to why he wouldn't let his sons play with dolls. I understood the speech, but I thought it was rather insulting he put that on boys playing with dolls. It was something about not having his son grow into controlling women or something. I'm unsure how playing with dolls as a kid has anything to do with that.
A friend of mine has three kids, one girl and two boys. The middle boy loves playing with dolls and is obsesses with his baby sister. Its the sweetest thing 🥰
I have that with my grandkids, the youngest (4F) & middle (8M) CAN play together well with everything... until they can't 😏😏
Load More Replies...
I got Goodwill toys, so I was happy to have even the Barbies. They were just as good at fake war fighting as GI Joe
I loved to play with trains and cars and I also had short hair because my hair wouldn't grow long(no literally I was nearly bald until I was 3) and many many people thought I was a boy.
And people thought my baby boy born with long blonde hair and gender neutral colours was a girl, even after politely saying HE.. then rudely haha
Load More Replies... Who says that??? Toys are toys... kids play with what makes them happy.
Toys colors names animals and other things don't have genders. What dose is the X and Y
I have one boy, I bought him a doll because he liked it and wanted to play with a baby. When I purchased it I heard the rumble of my angry ancestors and I told them to STFU
I grew up with all sisters and we were allowed cars and trucks? Let my 2 boys have dolls and kitchen/domestic things.. coz why not? One still chooses purple for his colour which makes it easier when things come in a "boy" and "girl" design and I don't want them to have the same colour!!
Asking if another child of the opposite sex is their boyfriend/girlfriend.
In fact, the tradition of asking children stupid questions goes back as far as the tradition of lisping and deliberately imitating toddlers' babbling. Well, then somehow it wasn't customary to pay as much attention to mental health as it is today, so a whole set of meaningless and allegedly 'cute' questions was formed that, like myths and legends, are passed down from generation to generation. Up until today, for sure.
Asking a question and rejecting any answer the kid gives unless it's the adults own opinion.
“why can’t you be more like your brother/sister?”
i’m a young teenage girl, and both my step dad and his dad tell me all the time “can I marry you?” “If you don’t find a man soon I guess I’ll have to be the man!” “Have you found a boy yet?” followed up by “If not i’m single!” the worse one was my step dad: “If your mom ever divorces me then can you marry me?”
I don’t know why they say that all the time but God is it annoying.
On the other hand, it seems that we adults sometimes simply don’t have the slightest idea what to talk about with children - especially if we are not their parents, and this is a kind of small talk. True, unlike any small talk between adults, our questions do sometimes look at least strange. To understand this, it’s enough to do one simple thing - just put yourself in the kid’s place and imagine exactly how you will answer this or that question. If you find it difficult to answer, it’s better to avoid asking.
"Why wont you give me a hug?" At a family event where everyone is staring.
In my experience "Because I don't really know you." "You smell funny." "I just want to go play with my cousins.."
When I got my period and they would ask “Don’t you feel like a woman?” or some c**p like that. I was 11 and not amused
No, ma. I don't feel like a woman. This is a period, not Shania Twain.
A separate category of questions comes from adults who are only superficially familiar with, for example, teens, about their emotions, physical health, or imposing their own opinions. Yes, you are an adult, you most likely have more life experience behind you - but this in no way gives you (and me too of course) any right to make value judgments and put it in the form of these 'innocent' questions. Just think back to your teenage years - and I’m almost sure that a couple of similar stories will pop up in your mind.
I had pretty severe eczema as a child. Refused to wear anything but long sleeves and pants even during hot, humid New England summers because every single time I left the house, at least one grown a*s person would ask, “what’s wrong with your skin?”
My mother spent a lot of time correcting grown ups on their behavior. When she got tired of it, she let me do it myself.
Asked by "family" most of the time: Do you really want to eat that (much)? Do you want to make me sad?
Be that as it may, I'm also absolutely sure that the tradition of asking children weird inappropriate questions will outlive us, and for a long time, and the only thing we can do to make kids more comfortable communicating with us is to simply think about whether it’s worth asking this or that question at all? And, of course, re-read the stories listed here again - perhaps this list will really benefit us.
What are you going to be when you grow up? I’m 67, and I still don’t know 🤷♀️
"Do you still believe in Santa?"
All you're doing is making them question Santa.
When I had my second baby, heaps of people asked my eldest (2) "Do you like your new baby brother?"
Apart from everything else, it's irrelevant. Like, we're definitely keeping this baby either way..
Yeah let me just go get a refund on this child if the eldest doesn't like them.
"Can I go to the bathroom please?"
"I don't know, can you?"
I could hike my leg anywhere I guess, but I'm being polite. The choice is yours, can I go to the bathroom or not?
I saw a reporter ask a 13 year old if he wanted to go to the olympics. He straight up told her that the junior nationals and junior worlds were more realistic goals right now. What a solid head that kid has.
anything that relates to the kid having a child when they grow up.
had this from my family growing up and it’s probably not a huge thing but asking a young girl if she’s going to have babies when she grows up is so (for lack of a better word) jarring. has made me want to practice abstinence 😐
Told my daughters it was their choice if they wanted to have kids or not.
Parents that have broken up and use the child as a middleman to pass messages and get sneak peek into what’s going on in their ex life.
I define children as those who are under 12 years old.
Dislike this one because anyone using their child (no matter the age) as a middle man for their squabble is an a*****e.
Will you take care of us when we get old
“Can you keep a secret?” Doesn’t matter what the secret is, that’s so confusing and puts a ton of pressure on the kid
If there's family dysfunction & a kid is going through a rough emotional period with moments of lashing out: "Do you really want to be like your mom/dad when you're older?"
This is absolutely ridiculous. My friends divorced because they were no longer in love but they are still best friends to this day.
Hi kids, do you like violence?
Wanna see me stick nine-inch nails through each one of my eyelids?
On the rocks or neat?
It's always a struggle to put ice in anything at my establishment. That crunch noise of getting ice out of the ice maker makes GoodBoi and the toddler teleport to the kitchen lol
Poll Question
Thanks! Check out the results:
Subscribe to Access
Exclusive Polls
By entering your email and clicking Subscribe, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. You are also agreeing to our Privacy Policy.
Thank you! You've successfully subscribed to newsletters!
You May Also Like
Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk
Do you think childless individuals should be expected to chip in for group babysitting costs during friend gatherings?
17 Y.O. Is Done Sharing Her Birthday With Her Late Twin, Parents Are Not Having It
Do you think the girl should be allowed to celebrate her birthday without the remembrance of her deceased twin?
"do you like movies about gladiators?" Nobody has ever asked that question.
It's a refrence from the movie Airplane. Super inappropriate in the movie, but, I don't understand why it made this list because in terms in real life you're totally right that no one asked that question and if they have it was likely not inappropriate.
Load More Replies... I was homeschooled, I always got asked (or my parents got asked) how "socialization" works. 🤨
Asking little boys if they are the "man of the house" when the father is out/gone.
I think it's helpful, so that adults can recognize the things that aren't appropriate to ask kids.
Load More Replies... "do you like movies about gladiators?" Nobody has ever asked that question.
It's a refrence from the movie Airplane. Super inappropriate in the movie, but, I don't understand why it made this list because in terms in real life you're totally right that no one asked that question and if they have it was likely not inappropriate.
Load More Replies... I was homeschooled, I always got asked (or my parents got asked) how "socialization" works. 🤨
Asking little boys if they are the "man of the house" when the father is out/gone.
I think it's helpful, so that adults can recognize the things that aren't appropriate to ask kids.
Load More Replies...