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I Wrote An Essay For A School Exam And In 25 Mins Accidentally Created A (Hopefully) Masterpiece
For an english exam I recently had, I had to write a descriptive essay on a haunted forest and I came up with this. It took about 15-20 mins to write, and later I added modifications to it and decided to add this to my ‘book’ (on whattpad: Blades of fire and hearts of ice, will add it in the next 10-12 chapters). I’m open for any critisism and compliments, so pls tell me what u think :)
I tried to make it as non-creepy as possible, because my teacher told me ‘You are only 12, try to keep your writting a little less dark’ soooo happy reading
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What do you think ?
Human Name 2 years ago
The punctuation is the least of the worries here. The vocabulary is painfully small, repetitive and infantile. It reads like a middle schooler read a Francesca Lia Block novel, cribbed from it and then hit up a thesaurus to try and make it a little different. And why the specific note of a the phoenix being fiery when phoenixes are fiery by nature? Redundant.
Tanii (Post author) 2 years ago
also, never read any Francesca Lia block novel, and i am in middle school, so maybe thats why it sounds like a middle schooler wrote one... as for the point on why i pointed out the fact of the phoenix being fiery was a). needed some alliteration (yea, used a word for the appeal. so?) b) i wanted to.
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Marcos Valencia 2 years ago (edited)
Well, I wouldn't say "masterpiece", but you can start from here.
Phoenix(or nix)they/them 2 years ago
Ik this was a month ago, but this is as you said, a masterpiece for what you have and the details, and the essay level you are at is good for your age. Tbh I'm just a sophomore in highschool and in a pinch ik I do my best work, but I probably need to not procrastinate so often with essays and then just barely meet the deadline. AND THAT'S MY NAME 🤣
Human Name 2 years ago
The punctuation is the least of the worries here. The vocabulary is painfully small, repetitive and infantile. It reads like a middle schooler read a Francesca Lia Block novel, cribbed from it and then hit up a thesaurus to try and make it a little different. And why the specific note of a the phoenix being fiery when phoenixes are fiery by nature? Redundant.
Tanii (Post author) 2 years ago
also, never read any Francesca Lia block novel, and i am in middle school, so maybe thats why it sounds like a middle schooler wrote one... as for the point on why i pointed out the fact of the phoenix being fiery was a). needed some alliteration (yea, used a word for the appeal. so?) b) i wanted to.
Load More Replies... Marcos Valencia 2 years ago (edited)
Well, I wouldn't say "masterpiece", but you can start from here.
Phoenix(or nix)they/them 2 years ago
Ik this was a month ago, but this is as you said, a masterpiece for what you have and the details, and the essay level you are at is good for your age. Tbh I'm just a sophomore in highschool and in a pinch ik I do my best work, but I probably need to not procrastinate so often with essays and then just barely meet the deadline. AND THAT'S MY NAME 🤣
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