Suicide. It’s a huge taboo. And I’m trying to bring awareness about it.
I have sleep issues and deal with mental illness for years. I wish so hard I could explain how “simple” sleep issues or anxiety can affect mental and physical health.
I wish so hard I could find a way to express the sudden strong suicidal thought coming during a night terror, a depressive episode, or when we fight to fall asleep.
It’s a bit like a big boss that comes when your “suicidal thoughts” bar is full. And if you lose, game over.
I wish so hard I could explain how hard it can be to survive one more night.
And I wish no one here knows how this feels.
More drawings :
https://www.instagram.com/sow_ay/
https://www.facebook.com/forsakensow/
More info: sow-ay.tumblr.com
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The last picture is very telling. I have been in a clinic for depression once and met one of strongest persons I did ever encounter. She was smart, bright, funny and her mind felt so similiar to mine, as did the experience of suffering. She was strong, so unbelievably strong, bursting with light, she gave the impression, from all the people, she, bristling with life, she will make it. And she is. She is the one who is more. It's been two years, and just now thinking on it, writing, I can't even put the emotions into words. I'm angry. I feel rage. I want to scream. I feel society ignores those, that suffocate in silence. Ignoring, not understanding, not even trying, or even calling it cowardice. It's not cowardice, it's a fight, over years, every week, every day, most of the hours. No break, no vacation. It's living beyond the breaking point.
My suicidal urges tend to be weird in my opinion. One minute I'll have this strong feeling of wanting to kill myself or hurt myself as like punishment for something I did or because I can't handle the pain and later on when I feel like my life's in danger, I'll get really paranoid and anxious and scared and start telling myself that I don't want to die. Then, the cycle continues. I'm such a confusing human being.. Also, I really really REALLY love your work, dude, hope you're feeling okay today 👍 And, just in case you needed to hear this today: You're not a failure You matter Your art makes me feel less alone and I greatly admire you
The last picture is very telling. I have been in a clinic for depression once and met one of strongest persons I did ever encounter. She was smart, bright, funny and her mind felt so similiar to mine, as did the experience of suffering. She was strong, so unbelievably strong, bursting with light, she gave the impression, from all the people, she, bristling with life, she will make it. And she is. She is the one who is more. It's been two years, and just now thinking on it, writing, I can't even put the emotions into words. I'm angry. I feel rage. I want to scream. I feel society ignores those, that suffocate in silence. Ignoring, not understanding, not even trying, or even calling it cowardice. It's not cowardice, it's a fight, over years, every week, every day, most of the hours. No break, no vacation. It's living beyond the breaking point.
My suicidal urges tend to be weird in my opinion. One minute I'll have this strong feeling of wanting to kill myself or hurt myself as like punishment for something I did or because I can't handle the pain and later on when I feel like my life's in danger, I'll get really paranoid and anxious and scared and start telling myself that I don't want to die. Then, the cycle continues. I'm such a confusing human being.. Also, I really really REALLY love your work, dude, hope you're feeling okay today 👍 And, just in case you needed to hear this today: You're not a failure You matter Your art makes me feel less alone and I greatly admire you
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