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“I Don’t Understand How Stressed He Gets”: Wife Calls Husband Out On His Expensive Hobby
“I Don’t Understand How Stressed He Gets”: Wife Calls Husband Out On His Expensive Hobby
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“I Don’t Understand How Stressed He Gets”: Wife Calls Husband Out On His Expensive Hobby

31

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Last week, Reddit user Mlosklo made a post on r/TwoHotTakes to get something off her chest.

The woman said that she and her husband have been having increasingly bigger disagreements over money and that the tension has just reached new heights now that he’s begun collecting sports memorabilia.

According to her, the couple has tried both joining and separating their finances, but neither option seems to fully work for them, so she’s turning to the internet to vent her frustrations and is ready to welcome any advice people might have.

RELATED:

    This couple can’t see eye to eye when it comes to their spending habits

    Image credits: RDNE Stock project / pexels (not the actual photo)

    And the wife can’t help but feel that her husband is invalidating her

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    Image credits: Karolina Kaboompics / pexels (not the actual photo)

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    Image source: mlosklo

    There are pros and cons to both combining finances and keeping them separate

    Image credits: Mikhail Nilov / Pexels (not the actual photo)

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    According to a 2022 survey, about 43% of couples who are married, in a civil partnership, or living together have joint assets.

    When you share all accounts with your partner, you rely on them to make the right money decisions; your own financial health depends on their habits.

    But this arrangement also requires you to give away some of your autonomy.

    If you and your partner have both established careers and financial assets, fully combining finances and sharing all accounts may be a challenge. As the story pointed out, if a couple is not earning and spending equally, conflicts may arise.

    So who is better off? Those who keep their finances separate or those by share everything? To answer this question, researchers conducted six studies with more than 38,000 participants.

    Those six studies included a variety of methods (e.g., cross-sectional, longitudinal, and experimental data sets) and were replicated in both individualistic and collectivistic cultures.

    Their conclusion was that couples who put all of their money together were happier and less likely to break up, compared to other couples who kept some, or all, of their money separate from each other.

    However, the author of the post and her husband aren’t the only ones who are having these problems. Another survey from 2023 discovered that a whopping 64% of couples admit to being “financially incompatible” with their partners, with different philosophies about spending, saving, and investing their money.

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    At least these two are trying to talk it out and settle their disagreements.

    As people reacted to the story, its author joined the discussion in the comments

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    Her post has received a lot of reactions

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    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Writer, Senior Writer

    Read more »

    Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

    Read less »
    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Writer, Senior Writer

    Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

    Kotryna Br

    Kotryna Br

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    Kotryna is a Photo Editor at Bored Panda with a BA in Graphic Design. Before Bored Panda, she worked as a freelance graphic designer and illiustrator. When not editing, she enjoys working with clay, drawing, playing board games and drinking good tea.

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    Kotryna Br

    Kotryna Br

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Kotryna is a Photo Editor at Bored Panda with a BA in Graphic Design. Before Bored Panda, she worked as a freelance graphic designer and illiustrator. When not editing, she enjoys working with clay, drawing, playing board games and drinking good tea.

    What do you think ?
    Alex Nelson
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    $300-$500 a WEEK?! What’s his hobby, blackjack and hookers?!

    Susan Schlee
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My first thought was a d**g addiction!

    Load More Replies...
    FreeTheUnicorn
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't leave because of the hobby, leave because he is a controlling bastard that makes his wife feel terrible on a regular basis.

    AMaureen Dance
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Try this experiment. Go buy something only for yourself. A pretty new dress, some mid priced makeup, another computer gadget, anything. See how Mr. 'I was wrong' reacts to it.

    Load More Replies...
    Cee
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    “It’s collecting. Sports related”. Is that the new code for gambling addiction? Anyone else thinking the same?

    Pandapoo
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was thinking sports cards and paraphernalia.

    Load More Replies...
    Alexandra
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm sorry, but OP has rules for him and he has rules for her and those for her don't include spending money on herself from whatever source. He tries to get OP off his back by telling her that 'he is sorry' for how he behaved towards her prior to his hobby, but just saying 'sorry' is meaningless if there is no accompanying change in attitude. OP is right in feeling that she is not seen by him because she's not and, to be honest, I wish her a better husband.

    CanadianDimes
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The person blaming her for having resentment… wow. She resents what he’s doing because of his past behaviour *and because he’s still doing it*. He’s still lecturing her about spending money where and when she needs to despite pouring hundreds into his hobby. She’s feeding and clothing *their* kids. What is he bringing to the table here? Seems like a lot of financial abuse and nothing else

    Melissa Harris
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah. How dare she be resentful of being emotionally and financially abused for years /s

    Load More Replies...
    PattyK
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OP and hubby need a marriage counselor and a financial advisor. If hubby won’t go to both, OP should go alone.

    Melissa anderson
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Husband is selfis, a low life hypocrite and he is abusing her financially and psychologically. She needs out. He’s a horrible person.

    Zedrapazia
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Controlling" her finances? Nah, throw the whole man away.

    Beth Wheeler
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds familiar, years ago my oldest son needed new shoes after a few mos because of a growth spurt. He went from a size 9 to a men's size 12. There was only a couple of pairs in the store In his size and he only liked one, I bought myself a pair that was on clearance for $15. When I got home my ex got really mad because I spent $90 on shoes, my do s shoes were also on sale. The next week I told the boss that I needed to leave early one day for an appointment, I went to the credit union and opened my own account and credit card. We had a niece that was getting married and I thought about using my new card for her gift but nope I used our joint acct for it. He tried telling that I never paid anything but they all knew that I paid for all groceries any after school care, summer daycare and their martial arts, their clothe, etc. they told him they knew what I was paying and that I was also helping with other bills.

    Orionpax75
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Gambling or check his phone.... going to bed late sounds more like Only Fans!!!

    Load More Comments
    Alex Nelson
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    $300-$500 a WEEK?! What’s his hobby, blackjack and hookers?!

    Susan Schlee
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My first thought was a d**g addiction!

    Load More Replies...
    FreeTheUnicorn
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't leave because of the hobby, leave because he is a controlling bastard that makes his wife feel terrible on a regular basis.

    AMaureen Dance
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Try this experiment. Go buy something only for yourself. A pretty new dress, some mid priced makeup, another computer gadget, anything. See how Mr. 'I was wrong' reacts to it.

    Load More Replies...
    Cee
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    “It’s collecting. Sports related”. Is that the new code for gambling addiction? Anyone else thinking the same?

    Pandapoo
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was thinking sports cards and paraphernalia.

    Load More Replies...
    Alexandra
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm sorry, but OP has rules for him and he has rules for her and those for her don't include spending money on herself from whatever source. He tries to get OP off his back by telling her that 'he is sorry' for how he behaved towards her prior to his hobby, but just saying 'sorry' is meaningless if there is no accompanying change in attitude. OP is right in feeling that she is not seen by him because she's not and, to be honest, I wish her a better husband.

    CanadianDimes
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The person blaming her for having resentment… wow. She resents what he’s doing because of his past behaviour *and because he’s still doing it*. He’s still lecturing her about spending money where and when she needs to despite pouring hundreds into his hobby. She’s feeding and clothing *their* kids. What is he bringing to the table here? Seems like a lot of financial abuse and nothing else

    Melissa Harris
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah. How dare she be resentful of being emotionally and financially abused for years /s

    Load More Replies...
    PattyK
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OP and hubby need a marriage counselor and a financial advisor. If hubby won’t go to both, OP should go alone.

    Melissa anderson
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Husband is selfis, a low life hypocrite and he is abusing her financially and psychologically. She needs out. He’s a horrible person.

    Zedrapazia
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Controlling" her finances? Nah, throw the whole man away.

    Beth Wheeler
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds familiar, years ago my oldest son needed new shoes after a few mos because of a growth spurt. He went from a size 9 to a men's size 12. There was only a couple of pairs in the store In his size and he only liked one, I bought myself a pair that was on clearance for $15. When I got home my ex got really mad because I spent $90 on shoes, my do s shoes were also on sale. The next week I told the boss that I needed to leave early one day for an appointment, I went to the credit union and opened my own account and credit card. We had a niece that was getting married and I thought about using my new card for her gift but nope I used our joint acct for it. He tried telling that I never paid anything but they all knew that I paid for all groceries any after school care, summer daycare and their martial arts, their clothe, etc. they told him they knew what I was paying and that I was also helping with other bills.

    Orionpax75
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Gambling or check his phone.... going to bed late sounds more like Only Fans!!!

    Load More Comments
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