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Husband Immediately Jumps To Divorce After Finding Wife’s “Go Bag”, Gets A Reality Check Online
Life can change in an instant. An accident, an earthquake, a fire—disaster doesn’t announce itself, and when it strikes, there’s rarely time to think. That’s why many people keep a “go bag” ready: a packed kit they can grab and walk out the door with at a moment’s notice.
One woman did exactly that, and most would call it sensible. But when her husband discovered it, he read it as a sign that she didn’t fully trust him or their marriage. The bag, to him, meant she was always half-ready to leave. Hurt and convinced the relationship was built on shaky ground, he turned to Reddit to announce he was considering divorce over it.
RELATED:
Having a “go bag” ready for emergencies is widely considered a smart move
Image credits: Ketut Subiyanto / Pexels (not the actual photo)
But for one husband, discovering his wife had one at home sent him straight to the edge of divorce
Image credits:Andrew Neel / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: anon
Having a “go bag” can save a person’s life
Those who have heard about the concept of a “go bag” might be aware that it’s not only packed in case of natural disasters or accidents but can be an important safety precaution in abusive relationships. Of course, most people don’t expect to end up in one. However, it can be tricky to avoid it, as violent individuals tend to be on their best behavior at the beginning of a relationship.
Unfortunately, occurrences of violence in relationships are more common than some might think. On average, nearly 20 people per minute are physically abused by their partner in the US. This equates to more than 10 million women and men a year.
A person with a history of such relationships might also feel the need to keep a “go bag” even though they have moved on and currently have a healthy bond with their significant other.
A team of husband and wife, Charley and Tracy Vega, are experts in violence prevention and survival, and they made it their mission to educate people when to grab a bag and go. They run a self-defensive workshop, “Simple Self Defense for Women,” where they make safety easy by teaching people to escape an attack instead of staying and fighting.
The Vegas say those in abusive relationships need to be prepared in advance and keep this type of bag packed. The contents of it may mean the difference between life and death. The starting line is to gather important paperwork, like a copy of an ID, passport, Social Security card, driver’s license—anything that shows where you’re currently living.
Image credits: City of Marysville, WA (not the actual photo)
There is more to packing a “go bag” than meets the eye
They also recommend leaving personal cell phones behind and keeping a prepaid disposable one in the bag, as they are more difficult to track. Having cash on hand can help in case you need to go to a hotel or get a taxi. In addition, it’s also a good idea to include a spare key to the car and the house and keep essentials for the family in there.
The Vegas suggest that another smart thing to do is to pack some of the abuser’s things inside. In case they discover it, you can call it an emergency kit for natural disasters. But if it’s possible to leave it to someone you trust—that would be the safest option.
Ellen Siler, the CEO of Hubbard House, a shelter for victims of domestic abuse, urges people to leave copies of some of the things outside the home. If they are taken by a violent partner and those documents were your only ones, you’re back to square one.
The Vagas also note that women should be aware of “tracker apps” installed on their phones without their consent. Which just adds another reason to leave it behind.
None of the readers took the man’s side
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What do you think ?
The_Nicest_Misanthrope 2 days ago
Wow, what an insecure loser. No concept of what women have to go through, whether he's an a****r or not!
Sly Schlang 2 days ago
Male privilege not to realize that womens lives are very different.
Load More Replies...
zatrisha 2 days ago
It's good that she's already packed her bag, isn't it? I also have a bag for emergencies—not in case my husband becomes violent (because he doesn't), but it can always be useful in the event of an accident or something similar. Even after 20 years of marriage, I still have this bag.
sturmwesen 2 days ago
He is a good reminder, to stash it with a friend or at a gym and proofed her right with his reaction
Lady Eowyn 2 days ago
A go bag need to be close at hand. For emergencies. When a friend might not be around, or a commercial location open.
Load More Replies...
Norfolk and good 2 days ago (edited)
He might not be physically a*****e, but something tells me this isn't the first time he's threatened his wife with divorce because something didn't go his way. If he's the main earner then she's right to have a plan for emergencies in case he decides he doesn't want to be married anymore. No-one ever thinks it'll happen to them, until it does.
General Anaesthesia 2 days ago
So for no reason you opened and inspected a gym bag in your wife's closet, and you're talking about her not trusting you?
John 2 days ago
As a man that is not the main income earner, I am always worried about what I would do if we get divorced. My wife likes to control everything and nothing is in my name. So I can understand it in that sense, I have 2% of my paycheck go in to a different account because it's scary not having that security.
Dragon Ashes 2 days ago
That sounds a*****e. My husband is the income earner, but I have access to all funds, he regularly updates me (we only recently obtained a financial advisor, but he did well with our retirement/savings) on financials. My name is on the house and at least one car. I spend what I want (within reason) we sometimes make joint decisions on larger purchases, but I sometimes do all the research for appliances. Financial a***e is still a*****e.
Load More Replies...
R Dennis 2 days ago
Absolutely pathetic on his part. Every woman should have a plan, no matter who their partner is... my stepdaughter is a stay-at-home mom, but has a five figure emergency fund that is for nothing but her security. She asked if I thought she should use it for household expenses and I told her that money doesn't exist. No woman should be a financial hostage. If my wife has/had one, I wouldn't even care. If I did, it would be to support it.
Kathy Brooke 2 days ago
I have a 'go bag'. I live on my own! But one day I might need to tell a paramedic where it is, or grab it as the house falls down or floodwater rises... security is in being ready, not being shortsighted. One day a paramedic will ask if there's anything I need as they wheel me out the door, and I'll have phone cables, spare headphones, clean knickers, a bar of soap and a digest of my medical record all in one tidy place. Who wouldn't?
Cpt. Christan "Panda Bombero" 2 days ago (edited)
Awww... Pobrecito. The husband is a coward, and apparently has control and trust issues. That have absolutely nothing to do with his wife, and everything to do with himself. Instead of putting in the work and asking the hard questions about himself and how his wife views their relationship, he just wants to take his ball and runaway. I bet his mommy still tells him; " you are my little prince." I thinks I smell the repugnant scent of; "Alpha Male Axe Body Spray", coming from his diatribe. FYI: In the event that I became a "Zombie" 1. I actually have packed a "Go Bag", for my wife. Clothes, MREs, Cash, Tactical Knife, Flashlight, First Aid, and a Revolver w/ extra rounds. 2. I have a "Go Bag" packed for me, with all of the same, except, mine has a pistol and an Infantry knife. 3. If I was ever dastardly & despicable enough to "lay hands on my wife", my "normal self" would completely approve of and expect her to a absolutely correct my "behavior", with a judicially extreme prejudice application of copper wrapped disciplinary consequences. 4. At her request, I straighten my wife's closet, about every 6 months. She has quite a few bags and purses, and I never look through them, unless she asks me to. 5. Having someone's trust is a privilege, not a right, and has to be earned by having the emotional intelligence and knowledge on knowing how to openly communicate and actively listen.
zywftjdh8q 2 days ago
What happened to talking it through and being loving and supportive? His reaction could be suggestive of control and coercion, I can’t even imagine my husband evening considering to tell me what sort of bag I could or couldn’t have!!! We’ve been together 20+ yrs btw.
Matthew Downey 18 hours ago
Wow i do worry about future generations, Are you allowed to have secrets from your partner? Especially around money? Its not having a go bag that is the issue at all, having contingency plans is fine. Its hiding from your partner ie your not fully committed to this situation, you have one toe out the door. The fact she hid it from her partner she knows is wrong. Is he correct in going straight to divorce? Absolutely not, but it would create a massive disconnect between them. Imagine being married and keeping your tinder account active, just in case your marriage fell apart, the point is your not fully committed, and good relationships are around compatibility, commitment and values. TLDR: Shes not fully committed to him, and hes not fully committed to her, sounds like they best get a divorce as they arent mature enough to have a serious adult relationship and prob best for the child.
Jonas Fisher 1 day ago
If he reported what she said correctly, then I at least "get" what he's saying. I don't know if I agree with him, but if her language was actually calling him an "a****r," then I see why he's so freaked out about it. There's a world of difference between "I want to have a go-bag because anything might happen," and "Women need them to flee abusers."
Krd 2 days ago
A few points: One, there was nothing for him or the child in the bag (no toys, diapers, meds). Two, her initial reaction wasn't great, and the online "go bag" stuff seems sounds more like her trying to justify it after the fact, as a normal reaction would have been to be caught off guard, but relatively quickly start explaining the logic behind it. The biggest unknown here, that matters significantly, is how old is the bag? If it's from early on in the relationship, totally understandable. If it's recent, that's a big red flag, especially considering the whole no childcare items thing I mentioned. Dude is definitely overreacting by going to divorce/separation so fast; they definitely need to talk it out and/or do therapy. But unless we know the bags age, we can't properly judge the seriousness of it fairly. (For aging it, could look at the dates on the money, as the newest bill(s) would give you an absolute minimum date of the bags age).
Breezy Girl 2 days ago
The dude protesteth too much. Guilty conscience eh dude? A woman can do what she wants. If she wants a go bag, that's her choice. Women are always at a disadvantage, always one step from being homeless. Maybe she has a gut feeling about you. For you to immediately jump to divorce says a lot about you. Like it's an excuse for you to leave. Sometin ain't right!
Fellfromthemoon 2 days ago
If OP finds any fault in having a go-bag, he should've complained about she packed no stuff for the two-year-old.
Veronica Jean 2 days ago
I have been in too many relationships that seemed wonderful and went South to ever not have a go bag. I also think this concept that being in an intimate relationship with someone means that you put them on a pedestal where they can do no wrong and failing to do so is a deep insult....is just weird?? I see this a lot when someone is told their partner is cheating on them or anything else outside of their partner's character. Simply looking into the accusations blows up the relationship because apparently being with someone means never questioning them. What are these people, new? Is this your second day on the planet? You only have to hang out with people for a couple of years to realize that no one is above manipulation. No one is too good. A person to actually be a bad person. If it would cause a reasonable human being pause, it shouldn't blow up your relationship.
FreeTheUnicorn 2 days ago
This is such a p**s poor gonbag that I don't think the story is real. She has a 2 yo and there's nothing packed fornthr kid? No clothes, no shoes, no hat, no insurance info/health records. She doesn't have a book of phone numbers or addresses, a charger, her passport, birth certificate or insurance info for herself. They live in an earthquake zone and she doesn't have the house insurance info or a few keepsakes like family photos in the go box? His anger I've the bag clearly shows she would have a reason to be concerned, but she's not planning on taking the kid, she's not that well prepared. This sounds more like a weekend getaway bag than an emergency kit
The_Nicest_Misanthrope 2 days ago
Wow, what an insecure loser. No concept of what women have to go through, whether he's an a****r or not!
Sly Schlang 2 days ago
Male privilege not to realize that womens lives are very different.
Load More Replies... zatrisha 2 days ago
It's good that she's already packed her bag, isn't it? I also have a bag for emergencies—not in case my husband becomes violent (because he doesn't), but it can always be useful in the event of an accident or something similar. Even after 20 years of marriage, I still have this bag.
sturmwesen 2 days ago
He is a good reminder, to stash it with a friend or at a gym and proofed her right with his reaction
Lady Eowyn 2 days ago
A go bag need to be close at hand. For emergencies. When a friend might not be around, or a commercial location open.
Load More Replies... Norfolk and good 2 days ago (edited)
He might not be physically a*****e, but something tells me this isn't the first time he's threatened his wife with divorce because something didn't go his way. If he's the main earner then she's right to have a plan for emergencies in case he decides he doesn't want to be married anymore. No-one ever thinks it'll happen to them, until it does.
General Anaesthesia 2 days ago
So for no reason you opened and inspected a gym bag in your wife's closet, and you're talking about her not trusting you?
John 2 days ago
As a man that is not the main income earner, I am always worried about what I would do if we get divorced. My wife likes to control everything and nothing is in my name. So I can understand it in that sense, I have 2% of my paycheck go in to a different account because it's scary not having that security.
Dragon Ashes 2 days ago
That sounds a*****e. My husband is the income earner, but I have access to all funds, he regularly updates me (we only recently obtained a financial advisor, but he did well with our retirement/savings) on financials. My name is on the house and at least one car. I spend what I want (within reason) we sometimes make joint decisions on larger purchases, but I sometimes do all the research for appliances. Financial a***e is still a*****e.
Load More Replies... R Dennis 2 days ago
Absolutely pathetic on his part. Every woman should have a plan, no matter who their partner is... my stepdaughter is a stay-at-home mom, but has a five figure emergency fund that is for nothing but her security. She asked if I thought she should use it for household expenses and I told her that money doesn't exist. No woman should be a financial hostage. If my wife has/had one, I wouldn't even care. If I did, it would be to support it.
Kathy Brooke 2 days ago
I have a 'go bag'. I live on my own! But one day I might need to tell a paramedic where it is, or grab it as the house falls down or floodwater rises... security is in being ready, not being shortsighted. One day a paramedic will ask if there's anything I need as they wheel me out the door, and I'll have phone cables, spare headphones, clean knickers, a bar of soap and a digest of my medical record all in one tidy place. Who wouldn't?
Cpt. Christan "Panda Bombero" 2 days ago (edited)
Awww... Pobrecito. The husband is a coward, and apparently has control and trust issues. That have absolutely nothing to do with his wife, and everything to do with himself. Instead of putting in the work and asking the hard questions about himself and how his wife views their relationship, he just wants to take his ball and runaway. I bet his mommy still tells him; " you are my little prince." I thinks I smell the repugnant scent of; "Alpha Male Axe Body Spray", coming from his diatribe. FYI: In the event that I became a "Zombie" 1. I actually have packed a "Go Bag", for my wife. Clothes, MREs, Cash, Tactical Knife, Flashlight, First Aid, and a Revolver w/ extra rounds. 2. I have a "Go Bag" packed for me, with all of the same, except, mine has a pistol and an Infantry knife. 3. If I was ever dastardly & despicable enough to "lay hands on my wife", my "normal self" would completely approve of and expect her to a absolutely correct my "behavior", with a judicially extreme prejudice application of copper wrapped disciplinary consequences. 4. At her request, I straighten my wife's closet, about every 6 months. She has quite a few bags and purses, and I never look through them, unless she asks me to. 5. Having someone's trust is a privilege, not a right, and has to be earned by having the emotional intelligence and knowledge on knowing how to openly communicate and actively listen.
zywftjdh8q 2 days ago
What happened to talking it through and being loving and supportive? His reaction could be suggestive of control and coercion, I can’t even imagine my husband evening considering to tell me what sort of bag I could or couldn’t have!!! We’ve been together 20+ yrs btw.
Matthew Downey 18 hours ago
Wow i do worry about future generations, Are you allowed to have secrets from your partner? Especially around money? Its not having a go bag that is the issue at all, having contingency plans is fine. Its hiding from your partner ie your not fully committed to this situation, you have one toe out the door. The fact she hid it from her partner she knows is wrong. Is he correct in going straight to divorce? Absolutely not, but it would create a massive disconnect between them. Imagine being married and keeping your tinder account active, just in case your marriage fell apart, the point is your not fully committed, and good relationships are around compatibility, commitment and values. TLDR: Shes not fully committed to him, and hes not fully committed to her, sounds like they best get a divorce as they arent mature enough to have a serious adult relationship and prob best for the child.
Jonas Fisher 1 day ago
If he reported what she said correctly, then I at least "get" what he's saying. I don't know if I agree with him, but if her language was actually calling him an "a****r," then I see why he's so freaked out about it. There's a world of difference between "I want to have a go-bag because anything might happen," and "Women need them to flee abusers."
Krd 2 days ago
A few points: One, there was nothing for him or the child in the bag (no toys, diapers, meds). Two, her initial reaction wasn't great, and the online "go bag" stuff seems sounds more like her trying to justify it after the fact, as a normal reaction would have been to be caught off guard, but relatively quickly start explaining the logic behind it. The biggest unknown here, that matters significantly, is how old is the bag? If it's from early on in the relationship, totally understandable. If it's recent, that's a big red flag, especially considering the whole no childcare items thing I mentioned. Dude is definitely overreacting by going to divorce/separation so fast; they definitely need to talk it out and/or do therapy. But unless we know the bags age, we can't properly judge the seriousness of it fairly. (For aging it, could look at the dates on the money, as the newest bill(s) would give you an absolute minimum date of the bags age).
Breezy Girl 2 days ago
The dude protesteth too much. Guilty conscience eh dude? A woman can do what she wants. If she wants a go bag, that's her choice. Women are always at a disadvantage, always one step from being homeless. Maybe she has a gut feeling about you. For you to immediately jump to divorce says a lot about you. Like it's an excuse for you to leave. Sometin ain't right!
Fellfromthemoon 2 days ago
If OP finds any fault in having a go-bag, he should've complained about she packed no stuff for the two-year-old.
Veronica Jean 2 days ago
I have been in too many relationships that seemed wonderful and went South to ever not have a go bag. I also think this concept that being in an intimate relationship with someone means that you put them on a pedestal where they can do no wrong and failing to do so is a deep insult....is just weird?? I see this a lot when someone is told their partner is cheating on them or anything else outside of their partner's character. Simply looking into the accusations blows up the relationship because apparently being with someone means never questioning them. What are these people, new? Is this your second day on the planet? You only have to hang out with people for a couple of years to realize that no one is above manipulation. No one is too good. A person to actually be a bad person. If it would cause a reasonable human being pause, it shouldn't blow up your relationship.
FreeTheUnicorn 2 days ago
This is such a p**s poor gonbag that I don't think the story is real. She has a 2 yo and there's nothing packed fornthr kid? No clothes, no shoes, no hat, no insurance info/health records. She doesn't have a book of phone numbers or addresses, a charger, her passport, birth certificate or insurance info for herself. They live in an earthquake zone and she doesn't have the house insurance info or a few keepsakes like family photos in the go box? His anger I've the bag clearly shows she would have a reason to be concerned, but she's not planning on taking the kid, she's not that well prepared. This sounds more like a weekend getaway bag than an emergency kit
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