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33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working
Interview With Expert
Every day nearly 60,000 people nationwide undergo surgery under anesthesia. You’ve probably seen the hilarious effect of it with patients blurting out the most awkward things and later having no recollection of what they’ve said.
What if you played on that phenomenon and made your surgeon laugh out loud by saying something witty just before the anesthesia kicked in? A poster on Reddit asked this exact question and got some of the best suggestions that you can use the next time you go under.
More info: Reddit
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
The nurse assisting with my vasectomy said, “I think I’m going to be sick” and ran out of the room. I looked at my doctor and said that’s not the usual reaction I get when I drop my pants.
It took him 10 minutes to compose himself.
Edward Finger Hands 1 year ago
Gotta get one last dad joke in before he can’t get any other kids out
Robert Davis 1 year ago
I was 17 when I had my tonsils removed, and when the nurse ask the Dr. do we need to remove his pants? I said "Im having a Tonsilectomy not a Vasectomy ". I could hear everyone laugh as I was being wheeled into the OR. I swear this is a true story.
Brenda 1 year ago
When I was diagnosed with breast cancer, my late husband went white. I looked at him and said "If I'm going to get new breasts, you can pick the size!" Took several minutes for hubby and the surgeon to stop laughing. Surgeon said that he'd never heard that as a response to someone being told they have breast cancer, but it was definitely the best one! (I'm just past my 5 year mark, but hubby died 6 weeks before so we never got to celebrate. )
Sam 1 year ago
Former stand-up comedian. Before my colonoscopy, I was nervous. So, I started telling jokes to the anesthesiologist. Apparently he liked them. Just before I was going under, he told me a joke and asked me how his delivery was!!! I wish I was making that up...but no, actually happened.
Philly Bob Squires 1 year ago
I had a colonoscopy... on February 14th. Right before i went under I told the staff that I was taking it up the a$$ on Valentine's Day.
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Donna Wyatt 1 year ago
I guess during surgery I was having a dream where it was like a western movie and woke up in recovery, asked the nurse if I was talking to her like it was a western. She was just like "no....." Lol my sister still makes fun of me for it 😅
Wm Paul Robinson 1 year ago
Not for an op, but the local visiting nurse, arrived to give my injection, near the start of my cancer treatment. I opened my belt and my jeans fell to the floor as two sizes too big, with the weight loss during chemo. I assume you're pleased to see me responded Jerome.
MalibuClassicMan 1 year ago
They put you under for a vasectomy? I had one in 1983 and all I got was a shot at the incision point, doc must have not liked me!!
Aaron 1 year ago (edited)
I did some research and am amending my comment. I had one in 2012 and it was the same as yours with just a local. BUT, in some cases they do, and some guys won't get the snip without general, so it may be possible.
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#2
Just before I went under for a colonoscopy I told the Doc, "Are you sure this is right? I just came in for a teeth cleaning." Without missing a beat he replied, "Don't worry, we can get there from here.".
Dreaming Spirit 1 year ago (edited)
During my colonoscopy, the doctor asked me about my job to help me relax. I gave him a quick rundown, and being polite, asked what is his job. It was definitely not a good idea to make the doc laugh during procedure.
John Truglio 1 year ago
I already have my joke ready for my colonoscopy on July 28. I'm going to ask, "if you see any old baseball cards or Legos in there, please take them out for me. Could be worth something."
FloralDangerNoodle 1 year ago
I've gotta remember this for my next one!!!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
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Sven Horlemann 1 year ago
When they put me in the operation room, they greeted me with a wrong name. All I remember is saying "That's not me but as long as you operate on my right knee, I don't care."
#3
Anesthesiologist: "OK, we're going to go to sleep now."
Me: "I think ONE of us should stay awake"... and I was out.
Seanette Blaylock 1 year ago
I can sympathize, since that "we" can be a bit condescending in situations like this.
Since we’re talking about hilarious things to say before getting sedated, you should know that patients also say really funny things when under anesthesia. Bored Panda interviewed Dr. Anthony Youn, who is known as America's Holistic Plastic Surgeon, to learn about some of his experiences with such patients. He shared that: “This happens occasionally. I had one patient who just woke up after surgery and was quite groggy and said, ‘How does Dr. Youn have so much hair when he's so OLD?’ Now, she was in her 60s, so who's calling who old?”
He also added, “I had another patient say after surgery, ‘I didn't soil my pants, did I?’ She was worried she would have a bowel movement during surgery! I've had many patients wake up crying, but they had no idea what they were crying about! Just blubbering crying!”
#4
I was being put under for a relatively minor operation on my foot as a teenager. I'm in bed in the prep room, already hooked up to an IV. The anesthesiologist comes in and sits down right next to the bed and leans in with his elbows on his knees as he talks to me about what the anesthesia was going to feel like.
All of a sudden, I am WOOZY. I looked down over the edge of the bed, and he's holding my IV tube and injecting a syringe into the port. He just went and did it, midsentence. I don't think he even looked away from me.
According to my mom, I swung my head up to look at him, said, "Ooohh, so you're a *sneaky* bastard," and then immediately went out.
veryvenasaur 1 year ago
Apparently when I got my wisdom teeth out and they told me to count backwards from ten I just whined "I don't even speak spanish" before going out. For some reason I thought I had to count in spanish I CAN COUNT TO TEN IN SPANISH what the heck was I complaining about
Susan Teter 1 year ago
I went in for a hip pin. 41 years old, just killing myself lifting WAY more than I should (stocking coolers, carrying 3 cases of glass bottle beer at a time, and I was only 100 pounds). The anesthesiologist evidently looked like my ex, an after they gave me the "HAPPY" meds, I spewed a plethora of expletives pertaining to my ex's inferior manhood and his inability to "plow the field" correctly. My mother, who had to be there with me and drive me home told me I swore like a sailor on shore leave. I had to have the pins removed cuz they were working their way out. They put on my chart DON'T GIVE HER THE HAPPY STUFF TILL SHE'S STRAPPED TO THE TABLE!
Teresa Spanics 1 year ago
When I had my four wisdom teeth removed, the nurse put in the IV and I asked her if she had hit bone as it felt sore. She just adjusted the flow and started asking me questions about what I planned to do in life aka go to college. The last thing I remember is my head falling to my right. I woke up with my head turned to my left and wondering what was squeezing my upper arm. It was a machine taking my blood pressure.
TheReader19 1 year ago
That reminds me of the names my dementia patients would call me when I was trying to give them their B12 injections 🤣
#5
I asked my surgical team if anyone needed anything while I was out.
#6
I have seen a patient pull off a pretty good one.
"Wanna hear a joke? How do you keep an anesthetist in suspense?".
Most people who go under anesthesia know that it will make them feel loopy. But what does that actually mean? The sedatives that are used affect certain parts of the brain and their chemicals, which can alter your state of consciousness and, therefore, your behavior. For example, the inhalation of nitrous oxide (laughing gas) can block certain neurotransmitters that cause anxiety. It also leads to the release of norepinephrine, a brain chemical that can reduce your pain and discomfort.
In general, anesthesia can reduce anxiety and discomfort and make you feel more relaxed during the surgical process. Some sedatives can even have a longer effect, which is why patients are asked not to drive heavy machinery after the process, or told to bring someone along with them. It also explains why there are so many videos of people acting strangely after surgery.
#7
I was brutally beaten the night before Thanksgiving by 3 guys with baseball bat while walking to the subway. I came to being rushed into to OR and saw the transfusion bracelets they put on you. I look up saw the bags and nurse rushing me into the OR and asked the nurses and doctors, "Do these things come in turkey and gravy flavor?" I immediately went into a coma for 3 days. I almost died with my last words being a Thanksgiving joke, lol.
Justin Rogers 1 year ago
Always curious why they got a beat down? Wrong place Wrong time or did they do something to deserve it? My brother got a bat beat down and he said he didn't know but turns out he slapped his girlfriend. Old Roommate got his teeth knocked in and he said he told a joke at sports bar. Turns out he told a racist joke and called them %&$/ monkeys
Teresa Spanics 1 year ago
Good to hear that you are okay. I hope those 3 so-called guys got caught and what was coming to them in jail!
#8
I'm a man in his mid-50s with a belly. I told them, "If it's a choice between me and the baby... choose me.".
#9
I was hospitalized and they were doing a colonoscopy to see if they could figure out what was wrong. Right before the anesthesia kicked in I asked the doctor "Aren't you supposed to buy me dinner first?" When I woke up he was there with my breakfast.
Kali Chaos 1 year ago
Where tf do you live that you get anesthesia for a colonoscopy, but we don't even get oral pain medication for having copper wire birth control forcibly shoved into our fallopian tubes? Don't worry, it's rhetorical. I know where I live.
Anyone-for-tea? 1 year ago
I know? That’s two now both out for a colonoscopy. Although I hope an IUD didn’t go into your fallopian tubes?! Usually they stop when they go past the cervix and get to the uterus?
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Steve Robert 1 year ago
I had to have two operations recently at Cedars Sinai and I have to say the food was pretty good. Breakfast was a perfectly made cheese omelet, crispy bacon, hash browns, and a miniature Belgian waffle. And they made a pretty mean matza ball soup that was perfectly fluffy!
Load More Replies...General anesthesia has changed the game for surgeries because it helps people stay in a relative state of bliss while they are operated on. But that’s only because we’ve come a long way from the sedatives of before. Before the medicines of today came into use, the best “pain-killer” solutions people had were biting down on a stick or taking a shot of whiskey.
In 1842, a man named Crawford Long administered the substance called ether to a man undergoing surgery for a tumor. He found that it helped alleviate the patient’s pain and he later published his discoveries for people to use. It’s funny to think that the brilliant minds behind anesthesia also indirectly helped create a funny genre of video.
#10
I was getting the shock treatment for an irregular heartbeat, and after they gave me the shot, my doctor asked me some out of left field, stupid question. I didn’t answer the question, but said something to the effect of, “that sounds like a stupid question to distract me until the meds knock me out.” All the medical people in the room started laughing hysterically. Afterwards I found out that he uses that same question every time, and one of them had just asked him why he uses that same question before I was brought into the room. He said because it was a good question that makes people think and doing so distracts them until the meds take effect.
#11
I asked the nurse prepping me for surgery if he had heard that diarrhea is hereditary as it runs through your jeans. He geeked out and asked if he could keep me awake long enough to tell it to the surgeons in the OR, which I did. I remember hearing them laugh as I counted down.
#12
Apparently "don't worry I'm not embarrassed cause I'm a [adult movie] star"
I have no memory of saying this, but apparently I did right before I went out cold for my testicular torsion surgery
I was greeted with "good morning [adult movie] star!" when the doctor went rounds the next morning.
Chris Landrum 1 year ago
I was a teenager when I had the same thing and I asked my mom and sister if I would still be able to have kids
Madam Puddyfoot 1 year ago
OK I'm a woman and even I think that testicular torsion sounds excruciating...
Dreaming Spirit 1 year ago
Not to scare you, but there is an ovarian variant, just as awful.
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Dr. Anthony Youn, the surgeon we interviewed, also told us about a humorous encounter he had with a patient during surgery. He said, “most of the time before surgery they are pretty with it. They might get a little loopy, but that's it. I once had a patient who was in the inner circle with one of the rappers in the whole Tupac/Biggie scene, and once they were under the influence I asked who killed Tupac and Biggie and they told me!”
#13
Something I actually said to the anaesthesiologist as he was putting me to sleep was “Mr. Wonka! It's amazing! Tomato soup, I can feel it running down my throat!” Passed out with the whole operating theatre laughing hysterically.
_-DungeonKeeper-_ 1 year ago
If I ever have to get surgery and they do the anesthesia thing I'm stealing your joke
#14
No joke, they told me to start counting down from 100 and I said “How can you tell when I’m…” I wanted to say unconscious, but I don’t remember getting to that word.
g90814 1 year ago
It's a trap! "I'm just going to inject something to make you relax...." then you wake up X minutes/hours later.
Ahh Schucks 1 year ago
just had that one last week, "to start off this will relax you a bit", woke up three hours later
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TotallyNOTAFox 1 year ago
I had to count to ten and made it! Because the guy forgot to open a valve...
Bored Trash Panda 1 year ago (edited)
I was given Xanax (I think) to calm down when I had surgery because it was my first time going under and I was scared/freaking out. I don't even remember being wheeled into the OR cause I was so out of it.
#15
Before my vasectomy I told my doctor, “don’t go nuts down there”.
flower petals 1 year ago
Can’t help thinking about the guy who had a vasectomy during an *earthquake*.. 😬
MalibuClassicMan 1 year ago
never make a man laugh when he has a knife in one hand and your "Junk" in the other, brave or stupid; not sure here.
An interesting fact about sedatives from an anesthesiologist is that people who smoke often need extra anesthesia. A study found that women who smoked needed 33% more anesthesia during surgery than female non-smokers. This is because they have irritated airways and, as a result, need higher doses of pain medication to improve their tolerance to the breathing tubes.
Another thing about anesthesia is that it may take a little time to wear off with people even displaying the (hilarious) after-effects of it. Some folk experience nausea and vomiting after going under. But, luckily for them, research has found that smelling ginger or lavender essential oils for 5 minutes could lessen the severity of those symptoms. Even if that doesn’t work, these effects aren’t permanent and often wear off after a few hours at most.
#16
My mom said she dated you in college and that you're my......
#17
I had a colonoscopy and right when they began administering the sleepy meds I asked "how long will this take?" They said "it depends on how well you followed the prep schedule," meaning the liquid diet and laxatives to clean out the pipes the day before.
I look at them with a real confused look on my face and said "what prep?!" right before the lights went out.
g90814 1 year ago
worst part of the procedure... the stuff you drink tastes awful... followed by the toilet time, of course.
Lee Henderson 1 year ago
I only have 1 leg. My first colonoscopy was an experience: I would feel my gut gurging, try to get my prosthesis on and make it to the toilet. After soilung myself a few times I just started using the trash can.
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Nikki Gross 1 year ago (edited)
I've had 3 in the last 6-7 years and the Prep is the part that sucks so bad. I love it when they knock me out because, damn that's a really good nap.
MalibuClassicMan 1 year ago
Love to have seen the look on their face wondering if this procedure is gonna be a messy one; never know do they!!
#18
I was about to have a bowel resection and told the surgeon that he only had my permission to take enough to make ONE bratwurst. I also told him that I'd deliberately let my 6-pack abs atrophy so it'd be a bit easier for him to cut through.
Anesthesia isn’t something to be fooled around with, but if you are going to be put under during a surgical procedure, you can make it so much more fun by trying out some of these interesting suggestions. Who knows, you might make your surgeon's day! Have you thought of something funny to say to your doctor before the sedatives kick in? Let us know in the comments.
#19
This isn't the first time I've had a room full of people inside of me.
ElfVibratorGlitter 1 year ago
I was thinking something TOTALLY different. I like demon's, feels less pervy to me.
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#20
When the nurse asked me what op I was having (comon last min check question) I gestured over my shoulder at the ENT surgeon and said "a*****e over yonder is going to stick a dremel up my nose and evict both Phillis and a chunk of over growing cartliedge, but he's under strict instructions to not breach the brain barrier unless he can gaurentee he only removes the depressed braincells"
For context I was having sinus surgery both a mini FES and a pollop removal and my wife went to med school either the ENT surgeon..
Said ENT nearly bust a gut laughing and the poor nurse was so flustered and shocked at my answer apparently I went out like a light and they couldn't start operating for about 10 min cause Mat (ENT) couldn't stop giggling.
ElfVibratorGlitter 1 year ago
I knew exactly what surgery you were talking about from ,"going to stick a dremel up my nose and evict both Phillis and a chunk of over growing cartliedge." Silver tongued devil. :)
gilliansl aka Gillian Silverlight 1 year ago
I was having a deviated septum corrected and a bone cyst blocking a sinus removed. The doc shoved cocaine soaked cotton in my nose to reduce bleeding and inflammation. I remember telling him it was horrible as I tasted it in the back of my throat. He said people on the street would pay a fortune for what was in MY nose currently. I told him let them have mine then, and it was lights out for me.
#21
I was given propofol for anaesthesia last year & was joking with the anaesthesiologist about Micheal Jackson & just before I went under he's started singing Billie Jean to me.
Kelly H. Wilder 1 year ago
I was given propofol for my colonoscopy last year, and MJ was the only thing I could think of when the anesthesiologist was going over it with me. I just wanted to know if he was more observant than Conrad Murray.
Beth Wheeler 1 year ago
It's the standard d**g of choice for procedures. For full anesthesia they do other meds and/or intubation surgery. Michael Jackson's Dr was an idiot. They call it milk of amnesia.
Mike Wilson 1 year ago
When I had my colonoscopy the anesthesia gave me an awesome high before I fell asleep. I think I joked about wanting it again. He said it was the same stuff that killed MJ. I said "no thanks then" before falling asleep.
Bored Birgit 1 year ago
I had propofol as well and told them to put the rest they don't need into a doggie pack for home.
Bill Turner 1 year ago
I was given propofol for a procedure. As it started to work, I tried to say, “I wish I invented propofol” but it came out “I invented propofol”. I woke up to laughter and “quite an ego!”
Mary Kelly 1 year ago
there's a reason they call it "milk of amnesia"...and conrad murray is a passive hero in my eyes
#22
Just before I went to Mario Land from the pain meds after I shattered ankle, I asked the attending nurse to prom. I was 35 at the time.
Thomas Bentley 1 year ago
That implies that he wiped out with mushrooms, rather than morphine or ketamine.
Load More Replies... Nikki Gross 1 year ago
MalibuClassicMan that had to be one of the dumbest things I've heard in awhile. My Sister was 6 months pregnant and was going down a set of stairs that was outside her job. It had been raining and she made it to the last 3 steps down when she slipped and fell. Thankfully the baby was okay, but she ended up in a wheelchair for 6 months because of the damage to her ankle. The last 3 months that she was pregnant and the first 3 months after my niece was born was an absolute nightmare until her ankle and foot healed.
Pani Trakovická 1 year ago
I had a surgery of shattered anke last month. First they put my legs under spinal anesthesia, then the gave me something to sleep. It went well, but when I was waking up, I felt how they moved me with the OP table from side to side, still working on my ankle, which was weird and then, when the nurse tried to take some samples of my blood from my hands, and I was half way awake, I kept telling her, that she wont succed - I wont give her my blood. And I was right. She stuck the injection in my body forcefully about 5 times and the blood didnt come. She was furious and finally the OP doctor convinced her to stop. I had bruises all over my arms the next 2 weeks.
#23
Not quite the same but I had an interesting interaction with the nurse who wheeled me in for my colonoscopy. I was terrified to be anaesthetised and he said “don’t stress, Michael Jackson had this stuff for breakfast!”
Me: “Ummm, probably why Michael Jackson is dead.”.
flower petals 1 year ago (edited)
I don’t know whether “this is what MJ had” is quite the flex some people think it is.. 😳
#24
I was about to have a routine colonoscopy. They told me to count backwards from twenty. After a few seconds I was still awake. I looked at the surgeon and said don't touch my butt until I'm asleep or I will be embarrassed!! They laughed, and it was the last thing I remember until I woke up in recovery and my husband helping me dress to leave.
Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 1 year ago
The anesthesia didn't work on my mom. She felt everything, but couldn't move or talk.
Lesley Relph 1 year ago
Is being knocked out for a colonoscopy an American thing? I'm in the UK and everyone I know who's had one (including me) stays awake for the procedure.
g90814 1 year ago
Yes they normally give Propophol (sp?) and you get a nice 45 minute nap. I did wake up towards the end of my last one, butt normally you wake up in a little recovery cubby. (b word spelling intended).
Load More Replies... TotallyNOTAFox 1 year ago (edited)
I was awake while they took biopsy samples and pulled the endoscope out on my first colonoscopy - that was quite painful
Chris Keller 1 year ago
I've had several, I was awake for one and watched it on the TV screen. Wasn't a big deal, I just assumed that was normal.
Lumen Papulus 1 year ago
routine colonoscopy? do they also administer routine bloodletting where you are?
#25
I swallowed a lot of gum as a kid, can you check on that for me?
#26
I'm a redhead, so I always tell the anesthesiologist that I'm not a cheap date. This came after one told me that he nearly emptied his bag of meds to keep me under for the length of the surgery. I woke up still intubated and tried to pull the tube out by myself.
sturmwesen 1 year ago (edited)
Not a red head, but my metabolism chucks propophol etc. like water. I always tell them that they will need to monitor me closely and increase the dosage and even more important: I am a fighter if I am under anesthesia. Nearly knocked my dentist out once. They never listen.
Mike Beck 1 year ago
Similarly, I fight while under a conscious sedative.
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Laura Gillette 1 year ago
I'm a redhead, and when I was a kid, the "redheads need more pain meds/anesthetics thing wasn't known yet. I had a cavity filled and the (pediatric!) dentist didn't believe me when I said I could still feel it and was screaming and crying. Finally he rolled his eyes and said, "fine, I'll give you some more," gave me another novocaine shot, and everything finally went numb. I'm so glad it's become better known now.
ElfVibratorGlitter 1 year ago
I'm a redhead and I never knew about the med tolerance thing until a nurse came in to give me a top off and told me. Bodies are weird.
Puppy Dancing! 1 year ago
Auburn, yep, wake up during surgery, every time. They always dose me with opiods, which causes hallucinations, which I warn them to strap me down if they do, I will fight the monsters I see, got called Buffy by one nurse. I know I always wake up screaming.
Brenda 1 year ago (edited)
Dark hair now, but born strawberry blonde. Oral surgeon didn't believe that I metabolize pain meds fairly quickly (most meds, really), even after receiving a letter from my PCP & my medical records. Apparently, I woke up twice (don't remember) and they had trouble getting & keeping me under. Then I woke up only 20 minutes after surgery (should have been 45-60). Said I was talking up a storm, nonsense talk. Told hubby he'd never seen anything like it. Did the same thing during breast cancer surgery, but they were prepared. They even let me go home afterwards since I woke and was totally coherent.
Rain Queen 1 year ago
I come from a family full of gingers and not one of us has this superpower. I feel SO cheated.
Nicole Weymann 1 year ago
Getting cheated out of possibly waking up during surgery or writhing in agony because pain meds don't work is a loss I'd actually pay for (hypothetically speaking - fortunately I'm on the losing side already)
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Jeanine Cowan 1 year ago
I have the exact opposite issue. I am a redhead who IS a cheap drunk. No matter how often I ask them to reduce the dosage, my time in the recovery room becomes touch and go, as I always am just so relaxed I don't bother breathing. Scary as hell. Especially for the nurses trying to keep me alive.
gilliansl aka Gillian Silverlight 1 year ago
I was a redhead before the white and I know of what you speak. As a retired nurse myself, this is actually common with redheads.
Mark Alexander 1 year ago
Redheads apparently have a higher tolerance to anesthesia requiring more or more frequently.
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#27
Just make sure I wake up looking like Chris Hemsworth, okay?
#28
I asked the surgeon who was about to implant a spinal cord stimulator in me if they had WiFi in the OR. With a puzzled lock he asked why I was asking that. I said, “ In case you need to lookup something about the procedure “. His reply, “ Don’t worry about that, I helped develop the procedure “.
flower petals 1 year ago
Their *infamous* modesty (the profession attracts a relatively high proportion of psychopaths/sociopaths) 🙄
Load More Replies... MalibuClassicMan 1 year ago
Lucky he didn't turn the power up on your remote to test it out after you woke up.
LittleWombat 1 year ago
Don't people usually learn about who their doctor is before choosing them? I chose my implant specialist because of his experience and credentials - I'd definitely take the time to know who is doing an important medical procedure on me!
#29
Years ago, before I went into operating room my doctor asked me to help prank his anesthesiologist friend. I was game so he asked me to say 'oh no, not you again'. Which I did, the look on his face priceless, went out to the laughter in the room.
#30
I made the nurse laugh because i said the room and the clock on the wall reminded me of a SAW movie.
#31
The 1 time I went under I asked the Dr if I was supposed to count back from 100 like I always saw in TV.
He said "it doesn't matter you'll be out before you get to 75"
"100 99 98 97 96....."
"Sir!sir!wake up it's time to get dressed"
I'm not sure if he thought it was funny but I did afterwards.
BatPhace 1 year ago
I've had too many surgeries for someone my age (not a flex 😞) and the only time i made it to 80 anesthesiologist stopped me, gave me another dose of whatever cocktail they used and had me start over from 100. I still made it to 92. Woke up thr first time as they were wheeling me out too 😕
Load More Replies... Kim Lorton 1 year ago
I have been out a few times for back surgery.. have yet to be told to count back from 100! Or count period! I just say may God guide your hands. Then boom! I being woken up and the recovery room nurses are telling me it’s done and it went well! The weirdest anesthesia story was when I had a cardiac ablation for my afib , snd i literally woke up to two nurses on top of me , pushing on my leg at the hip joint saying I can’t stop the bleeding. The other nurse said push harder, I’ll let the doctor know! Then doctor its still bleeding ( the site where they go in at femoral artery) and then i went back to sleep, and woke up again, they were still pushing and it hurt and I was mad at them and told them to get the hell off of me!! They told me to hold still as I was getting ready to hit one as I thought she was trying to kill me! Then the doctor said, your site is bleeding we have to put a lot of pressure on the area. I thought i was going to die! the nurse sitting on my legs kept pushing!
Kerry Borthwick 1 year ago
I got told to count back from 10 woke up to someone saying my first name to which me and nurse shouted what turns out she had same first name I asked her if I was real damn I was high
Brian Droste 1 year ago
A while back I went in for a colonoscopy. They never ask me to count backwards. I was facing the monitor. I was looking at something not sure what it was. Then realize I was looking at my own butt. Next thing I knew I was waking up in a room.
#32
And the lottery numbers tonight are 25, 36....
#33
I'm looking forward to having you inside me.
flower petals 1 year ago (edited)
It’s reassuring to me that all the people in the room (in the earlier post) that ended up inside the person are there by invitation. 🙃
What do you think ?
Ross “Sarcastic Dad” 1 year ago
As I was going under before my back surgery, I told the surgeon, "They should sell this s**t at Pink Floyd concerts."
Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 1 year ago
Where's "im not smart enough to make a joke" on the poll?
Jennifer Smith 1 year ago
My second surgery after the first one was botched I asked the doctor if he knew what he was doing. Right as I was going out I heard him say “don’t worry I looked it up on YouTube this morning “
Kerry Borthwick 1 year ago
I cried when I was getting prepared for being put under I was so scared I was going die because I had a old lady telling me for hour how members of her family died being put under I was 28
Sheba's Mum 1 year ago
Apparently, when being sedated for a colonoscopy, the doctor asked how I was feeling. My response was " let me stick a camera up your a**e and see how you feel". Then in recovery, the nurse asked if I was OK and I offered to turn cartwheels down the ward!
Aimee Cayer 1 year ago
I was having sinus surgery and was enjoying listening to the doctors choice of music in the OR prior to going to sleep. Well, he chose American Pie. Unfortunately, the line that played as I fell asleep was, this will be the day that I die. No matter how hard I tried to stay awake for the next line so that wasn't the last thing I heard, I failed. I told the doctor at a follow up visit that I enjoyed his music selection, he might want to choose that to play while his patients are fully out. He almost died laughing.
Ross “Sarcastic Dad” 1 year ago
As I was going under before my back surgery, I told the surgeon, "They should sell this s**t at Pink Floyd concerts."
Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 1 year ago
Where's "im not smart enough to make a joke" on the poll?
Jennifer Smith 1 year ago
My second surgery after the first one was botched I asked the doctor if he knew what he was doing. Right as I was going out I heard him say “don’t worry I looked it up on YouTube this morning “
Kerry Borthwick 1 year ago
I cried when I was getting prepared for being put under I was so scared I was going die because I had a old lady telling me for hour how members of her family died being put under I was 28
Sheba's Mum 1 year ago
Apparently, when being sedated for a colonoscopy, the doctor asked how I was feeling. My response was " let me stick a camera up your a**e and see how you feel". Then in recovery, the nurse asked if I was OK and I offered to turn cartwheels down the ward!
Aimee Cayer 1 year ago
I was having sinus surgery and was enjoying listening to the doctors choice of music in the OR prior to going to sleep. Well, he chose American Pie. Unfortunately, the line that played as I fell asleep was, this will be the day that I die. No matter how hard I tried to stay awake for the next line so that wasn't the last thing I heard, I failed. I told the doctor at a follow up visit that I enjoyed his music selection, he might want to choose that to play while his patients are fully out. He almost died laughing.
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