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82 Crazy Dating Tweets And Confessions That Make Us Wonder What Those Folks Were Actually Expecting
With millions of single adults in the world, one would think it should be fairly easy to find a match. There's a huge dating pool to choose from. The problem, it seems, is that the so-called 'pool' is more like a murky shark-infested tank, where you risk being eaten alive. It's filled with frogs pretending to be princes, dangerous sea snakes, empty shells masquerading as starfish, and creatures that clearly belong on another planet.
It's wild out there and to prove it, we've gathered some of the most hilariously relatable dating tweets from the depths of "desperately seeking" hell. There's the guy who took his date to the aquarium just to prove how much he hates fish, another who worshipped a guru who 'resurrected a duck,' and the absolute charmer who used spit to moisturize his hands while eating sushi. If you're still considering dating after scrolling through this list, may the force be with you!
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#2
A quick scroll through these tweets and is it any surprise that a fair amount of people are choosing to stay single? That's not a made-up statement...
The 15th Annual Singles in America Study, conducted by the Kinsey Institute in partnership with Match.com, found that one in four people would turn down their perfect match if that person showed up tomorrow. Close to 5,000 single adults across the U.S. took part in the poll.
"Nearly half of respondents (48%) went on zero in-person dates in the past year. More than half said they were happier than they’d been in their last relationship, while 50.6% reported feeling more confident and 54.5% said they were less stressed," reports Vice.
#6
Reba 6 hours ago
I went on a few dates with a guy like this. He was the most normie guy ever, very bland, very basic. Nice enough but just the embodiment of ordinary. And then on date four he turns up in spangled cowboy boots and explains that he's just finished his Mongolian Throat singing lesson (not sure why he needed cowboy boots for that but, sure)
The survey found that only 16% of respondents are actively seeking a committed relationship. That's not an incredibly high figure. What's more: a third of respondents said they'd been single for at least five years.
"For many of them, being single has simply been life for a while," Vice reports. "There’s work, friends, bills, weekends, family, bad dates when they bother, and everything else that fills a year whether somebody has a partner or not."
#7
troufaki13 2 minutes ago
Until I got to the end, my mind went to a different kind of "their show" 😩😬
Meanwhile, the 2023 Singles in America poll's central finding was that most single people actually like being single.
"They're happy to be pursuing their own passions, they feel more in control of their finances, and they're tired of society and media saying otherwise," reads a press release from back then. 48% of American singles agreed that "Singlehood is the most meaningful, authentic and fulfilling way of life."
"Our perceptions of single Americans need to be reexamined," said Libby Rodney, futurist and chief strategy officer at The Harris Poll, the company tasked with carrying out the research. "We need to shift the dialogue from something society needs to fix, like in your standard rom-com, to something many people are finding fulfilling and are doing by choice."
#20
Kristiina Männiste 1 hour ago
Looks at my 2 Tinder contacts who arent saved with a name at all. Just the phone number.
#23
Elladine DesIsles 4 hours ago
My mom went with a friend to a random bachelor party after some idiot showed up with his girlfriend and all of the other guys started calling last-minute invites to every woman they knew to make it less awkward. And that's how she met my dad. No, he was not the idiot, nor the groom-to-be, which I suppose would be an even more bizarre story. But it is fun to tell people that my parents met at a bachelor party and watch them think through wondering what my mom was doing there.
#81
Elladine DesIsles 3 hours ago
I can beat that. I've been proposed to three times, but never married. I never technically said "no" to anyone, and I'm not sure I ever actually uttered "yes" either, but did manage to twice end up in presumed-to-be-engaged situations, without at all wanting to be. Don't judge me too harshly; I was under 20 both times. The third proposal, for which I was in my 40s, I elected not to explicitly decline in the moment for my own safety (we were not even in a relationship, though he'd been trying to convince me we should be for years, and he was very, very dr*nk at the time).
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