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#1

I was walking down the hall and some kid was walking past me. Now, I have a pretty intense face even when I'm totally relaxed, so between that and the fact that I was walking fast (I had to pick up my school-loaned PC before the hall sweep), I guess I gave the kid some kind of bad vibe cause he audibly said to his friend, "What's wrong with him?". I liberally applied the middle finger to him, to which he replied, "[Fluff] off!" So I turned, gave him a serial killer smile, and said, "Okay. But I'LL be on top".

I never saw him again.

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    #2

    I don't remember this too well, but it was Sunday School, and one of my teachers was talking about a conversation he had with a stranger. I think the stranger was homeless, and his brother had died. He had held up a pack of beer and said, "This is the only thing that's keeping me going." My teacher then said that the man had pulled out a big black bag, and one kid went, "...Was it his brother?"

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    #4

    WORK RELATED: Hotel Front Desk. I am the General Manager and with my Front Desk Agent (FDA) we were on the Desk working and chatting. Woman walks in, very scantily dressed. We look up. How we both kept a straight face, still, years later, I do not know.
    No word of a lie; her jean shorts were too short and toooooo tight, like OMG were they sewed on, maybe even... they were they painted on (this was before they started doing that) no matter which, we could see her 'Hoochie-Coochie'. No lie, I totally swear, these shorts were so tight in the c****h area that, there 1/2 of her was out there in all her Magnificence for everyone to see! A piece of Spinach in your teeth is one thing that I can tell you about that but this.., this, OMG.., is an... 'I'm not going to touch that!' in so many ways!
    My wanting to laugh but winning awards for, holding it....., Ms Coochie, asks for an employment application ("can I get a work form?"). As if on cue, both myself and my FDA say, with a smile heard in our response-in unison, "SURE!" FDA hands Ms Coochie our employment application.
    Ms Coochie, leaves with the application. I can't remember if she even said 'Thank you' but no loss. The whole, less than Two Minute, event was thanks enough. OMG such a laugh (Yes, we waited for her to leave the parking lot) and then we laughed and laughed until we both cried and cried, oh the tears, and it did wonders for the two of us to clear out a lot of bad customer s**t that, we had to eat, in our job. This not only made our day, this made several years for us. This story... is not over...It gets better...
    Our Hotel worked with an employment company (getting anyone to stay in a job, in this town, was such a struggle-no matter what the position) and about two weeks later, I, and the same FDA were working the desk when New Employment Company person was to start. We are only given names and department.
    As the GM, I had to assign their department, take them to meet their Supervisor, all that fun stuff. Do you want to guess who walked in the door for her first day? YES...Oh Yes she did!
    THE One And Only.-~-. Ms Hoochie-Coochie❣️ Properly dressed this time.
    Another award winning performance, by 'moi' and my FDA🏆. I smile.., I am polite.., I am struggling to not 'over grin'.., I am professional... Paperwork and Introductions with handoff to the Housekeeping Supervisor, my job is done (for now) and I am laughing SO hard that by the time I get back to the Front Desk, that I can hardly breathe.
    Not finished laughing with FDA, Housekeeping Supervisor contacts me on our hand held radio system.
    "Ms 'My Name'" (we are in Georgia, USA-if that helps- every Woman is Ms Whomever) Me: "Yes"..., Supervisor: "You aren't going to believe this" Of course I answer with "What?" Supervisor: "I was telling New Hire about the job.., I turned around and she wasn't there. I looked around for her and saw her climbing over the chain length fence at the back of the Hotel."
    I seems that Ms Hoochie came in the front door of our Hotel and her Coochie was seen going over the back fence a few minutes later. This story also qualifies as a SHORTEST EMPLOY STORY. 😂🤣😂❣️

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    Sharrow
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    1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    tl;dr Person picked up an employment application, casually dressed. Employees mocked them behind their back. Same person got the job, showed up dressed professionally, employees continued to mock them. Person escaped from the workplace, possibly due to the toxic environment. Employee came online to continue to mock them.

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    #5

    my dad operated a concession restaurant on a golf course. hes mornings were some times painful due to his night life. at times he became very short with his customers. after he had served a bacon and eggs breakfast (eggs being sunny side up), the customer yelled, hey, i asked for scrambled. my dad grabs his fork, mashes the eggs, and says, now, theyre scrambled.

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    #6

    I have two that I can think of at the moment.


    Earlier this week in Health, we were getting ready to take this big test and we were all studying, but the teacher wasn't in the classroom yet so we weren't REALLY studying. Anyway, about five minutes into the class, I noticed that my friend was standing by the door, probably waiting for the teacher to come in so he could ask her something. Me and my sister both call him Butterscotch, so I loudly said, "Butterscotch, what are you doing in here?" And these two boys who are normally the greatest source of comedy in that class turned to me and said "BUTTERSCOTCH?!". Now everyone's calling him it and he's mad at me. I don't regret a thing.


    The second story happened in Band. Another one of my friends (Also and Alto Sax, like me) had a broken key, so she told the Band Director, who came over to her seat to check it out. He then proceeded to walk back to his desk (Saxophone still in hand), MAGICALLY SPAWNED ANOTHER SAXOPHONE OUT OF NOWHERE, take off the neck and mouthpiece of my friend's Saxophone and shove it on this one, then walked back and said, "Here, swap me." As if he hadn't just magically made a Saxophone appear.

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    #7

    So one time my best friend was called to the front office for checking out early! He thought he was living life, and on cloud 9! But then , the intercome said that that was a mistake, and he is actually going to be walking home! I said to him "you thought you was living life SOO good!" Everyone in the class were laughing!

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    Community Member
    21 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    F**k this! He is not my best friend anymore! The funny thing? THAT I BECAME FRIENDS WITH HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE!

    #8

    Our chemistry teacher set our class registry book on fire during some magnesium flame experiment and then asked the art teacher to cover up the damage.

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    #9

    Some kid ran out of the changing room almost naked. We'll never know why he did what he did.

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