I have nothing better to do, and it's 2 AM so share away!

#1

I think my biggest struggle is quite common so I don't like to make it seem like a problem.

I'm 33 so I'm peak millennial. Lol. Everything just seems to be going so wrong and we have no control over it. The environment is being destroyed and exploited. Our resources are dwindling but our population keeps growing. All levels of government is corrupt with bribes and old people that think they know best. On top of that, the economy is getting worse. I can't afford basic comforts even though I work 8-5 everyday. I can't afford real estate or anything of the sort. There is nothing to enjoy unless you've benefited from wealthy parents or got a lucky break in life. It's just all gone to sh*t (pardon my language).

The icing on the cake you ask? I've always been an anxious overthinker which has really put a dent in my social and relationship life. It's practically non-existent. I'm now barreling down a road towards 34 years old, with things getting worse by the second and having missed on any sort of real connection with someone, so I feel like I've missed the boat and there is a hole in the lifeboat (I kind of switched metaphors there but you get the point lol).

Thank you for listening. It is much appreciated and felt good to type. :)

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Birgit M
Community Member
1 year ago

I really hope you don‘t think I‘m stalking you because I reply to you more often than to others. It‘s just that when I read your comments or submissions I so often think „yeah, same here“. I‘ve been struggling with depression and anxiety too and the pandemic has set my progress back by years. I am really scared of what will come mostly for the same reasons as you, especially when it comes to the destruction of the earth. I know that nothing I am writing here will really help you, but maybe it is a little solace that you are not alone with what you think and feel and that there are people who think this denzoren-guy is really a fine person.

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#2

My Father Died in May 2019 after a long battle with Alzheimer's. My brother died on New Years Eve 2020 from kidney failure after a life long battle with alcoholism. My Mother died in June 2021. She died next to her bed, no one had heard from her in 4 days and the fire department had to break down her apartment door to get to her. My sister has had to arrange every funeral and settle all of their affairs because I'm 3000 miles away. I so wish I could give her a hug and take away the depression and pain she must be dealing with everyday.

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Caro Caro
Community Member
1 year ago

You and your sister have had to deal with too much loss in such a short time. There is no time to catch your breath and deal with the loss. I feel for you and your sister. Send her a card and maybe some flowers.... I wish you all the best Carol. Bless you.

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#3

Screwed up Meds
Narcissist Family Member
Home projects with no help
Changing jobs

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Community Member
1 year ago

They are. I'm starting over with what worked earlier. But in true Healthcare form, I was displaced and it was since November that I've been fighting either for meds or the right ones.

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#4

I struggle with depression and anxiety
I have a severely autistic 9 yr old who is often violent towards me ( biting kicking punching throwing things) I also have 2 other daughters 12 & 14 the eldest is struggling with mental health and identity issues ( sexuality gender ect)
While my middle child is the proverbial girl with the curl either being angelic or being really hard work not listening at all and lying when she doesn’t get her own way on top of this I’ve got a bad back so everyday us spent in pain . I try my best but sometimes it’s all too much and I get overwhelmed but I g if ave to keep going everyday cause there’s no. choice

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I I
Community Member
1 year ago

Not sure if you can find help with your son through a charity ? i know others that have help through charities but i'm in the UK so not sure if they work the same in the US but no harm in trying https://www.appliedbehavioranalysisprograms.com/best-autism-charities/

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#5

Can I add ?

My Parents are raci3t and Sexist and homophobic.

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sam puckett
Community Member
1 year ago

Also, I am eating a black forest ham and cheese subway that I made myself and it is DELISH

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#6

Hi! i'm just another person struggling with their gender... I think i might be genderfluid but then when i think i'm my assigned sex i start going back on it all, thinking i'm just a cis who wants attention or to "fit in" and that it changes way to quickly to be valid... i'm just really unsure. i think i might ask a friend of mine to try gender neutral pronouns for me soon, but i'm really scared - its not like they wouldn't support me, but still...
anyway, sorry for this word explosion.

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VeninTheNonBinaryRogue
Community Member
1 year ago

I totally get that. That’s how I feel a lot too. But when you feel like your birth gender, you’re still valid. I will sometimes feel female for like five minutes, and then go back to being enby. I’m really bad at writing comments, but you’re definitely valid. And, like you told me, if your friends don’t accept you, then they’re not your friends. And take your time. You don’t have to rush coming out. I wish you luck :) <3

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#7

Well everyone around me thinks I’m a psychopath and they want to send me to a mental hospital because I tried killing my self(wich I’ve tried multiple times).
I recently find out that my ex was just with me so she could feel better about herself and didn’t really care about me. 100% I’m done dating because these happens every time
I’m super tired and drained from work and then my case work( I have to deal with him because of probation) wants me to do a bunch of activities after words wich I don’t wanna I’m to busy and tired for that but I have to
I’m just done with life. Literally losing it















I just want a hug ;—;

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Patrick Triplett
Community Member
1 year ago

I went through a very similar situation. I promise, you will get through this and be a more compassionate, empathetic, overall better person on the other end.

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#8

This is probably going to be pretty long, sorry.

So first of all, I was just being misgendered a lot this week which made me kinda sad. I just came out like a month ago and I know there’s an adjusting time, but it still made me sad.
Also I want a binder, I just don’t know how to ask my mom because it’s kind of an awkward question to me. I really hate my chest it just gets in the way and makes me self-conscious.
I also want to get a YouTube/twitch channel but my parents at moms house (I have divorced parents) really don’t want me to have one. I kind of get why, but like I won’t show anyone my face or tell anyone my real name or where I live etc. I’d make one at dads house and just not tell mom, but I don’t have a good computer at dads house and I don’t have enough allowance to get one.
Also I have a problem with my schools. For 3rd-5th grade I went to this really awesome public school, and it was fun. Then once Covid started I went back to homeschooling. I went to this real amazing homeschool co-op, and I met pretty much my core seven friends right now (I actually get to play DND with them tonight so I’m super excited about that :D)The things is, my public school promised to save my spot for 7th (if you left you can’t come back but they said I could). I don’t know if that would extend to eight or not, but I promised co-op I would stay with them for 7th. I would like to go back to my public school for eighth, to see my friends, and because my oldest friend said that’s it’s actually really LGBTQ friendly, and there’s another enby person. There are enby people at my co op but they’re high school so I don’t really see them. One of the reasons mom doesn’t really want me to go back to my public school is because she thinks that they wouldn’t except me. To be honest if they don’t except me I don’t really care, screw them they’re losing out on the wonder that is me. I don’t really have a reason that I want to go back except I want to see my friends again. Mom offered to try and find their emails by taking to their parents but that would be weird considering I haven’t seen most of them in over a year.
Also (final thing I promise) I’ve just been kind of sad lately, and I have a huge thing of writers block. I have a story about the apocalypse that I’m working on, and I really like it, but writers block is just kicking my butt right now. So yeah. Any advice for anything is welcome.
Thank you for reading. I just needed to rant :)

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Community Member
1 year ago

I think I need a therapist. Just someone I can talk to on a regular basis with no judgement. But again, idk how to ask parents to see one. I’ve been to one before for anger issues, but eventually stopped.

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#9

My current job is killing me. I found a new job but I’m losing half my pay, but I took it because I can’t stay at my current one. They expect 50+ hours weekly and I’ve done that for nearly two years and it will kill me if I stay much longer.

I’m worried with the new job I won’t be able to adequately support me and my son. I’m a single mother with no other support and while I’ve made a budget he has autism and the medical bills will be killer.

What if I fail. What if I’m making the wrong choice. Why can’t I be better.

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Iʕ •ᴥ•ʔ
Community Member
1 year ago

I wish I could send money to you . I hope you and your son make it through . Wish you the best also don’t be so hard on yourself . You don;t need to be better , You’re already great 👍

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#10

I don't like how I look and especially in a bathing suit. My family goes to a pool club and they like to go there a lot in the summer. I have major social anxiety and hate to be around that many people, especially in a bathing suit. I never want to go or swim and my family is getting really nosy and rude about my not wanting to go.

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Rens
Community Member
1 year ago

Don't waste years of your life caring about the opinions of others, hating your body and feeling insecure, like I did. You are enough, just as you are x

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#11

Asshole neighbour stalking me, monitoring my movements and badmouthing me to other residents

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_Jenna _Oriol
Community Member
1 year ago

omg eww that must suckkk

#12

Coming out to my mom, and not to my dad. (I’m bi) I came out to my mom, b/c I knew she would take it better. She told me not to come out to my dad and.. it’s a mess.

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Shrek Bunny
Community Member
1 year ago

I'm really sorry about that. I'm bi, too.💗💜💙

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#13

mines kinda dum, im on the edge of giving in to all of it. sex, smoking, cutting class, classic teenager stuff. but I am barely avoiding it. i dropped all of my old friends in the middle of covid just after my thirteenth birthday party, so I made new "more popular" friends I guess you could say, I now have my first boyfriend who I've always simped over but my friends kept me away from all that, because to them i was an option to hang out with when it was convenient. so me and (lets call him jake) jake started hanging out, we both really like marvel, but not in a nerd way, and so i started hanging out with one of his friends, and now i guess you could say I'm popular. but the worst parts to all of my drama is that the "it girl" at our school (lets call her cara) is also close ex and is SUUUUPPPPEEEERRR jealous, of me and jake because he is actually really happy with me and he wasn't with her. a couple of things you should know about cara is:
she vapes, smokes weed, pretty much all of the stuff she can get her hands on at this point, tbh i wouldn't be surprised if she did coke.

she has hooked up twice (that i know of) at the age of fourteen,

she is genreally just a bitch

but jake and her are still really good friends soooo idk what to do

i do have friends other than her and jake, but i kinda have to be friends with her, its complicated.

also, my mom literally stalks my phone, she has an app where she can see everything on my phone, soo ya shes crazy, and i cant have tiktok or snap, or insta, sooo ya. but i love her because shes my mom and she has "good intentions"

and i have to deal with all of that while struggling with anxiety . . .

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ʏᴏᴜʀᴅᴀɪʟʏᴅᴏsᴇᴏғᴄʀᴀᴢʏ
1 year ago (edited)

i’m so sorry! i get that this is difficult. everything you mentioned (sex, smoking, cutting class) should be carefully thought about. popularity doesn’t actually matter tho. it’s stressful and doesn’t help you with life at all. be the adult. think carefully about everything.

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#14

Struggling with anxiety and depression. Always scared of something or feeling like I’m on the verge of panicking, plus feelings of uselessness. I’ve been hesitant to say my age on here but since you don’t know any other personal info about me, it should be fine. I’m 15 and feeling like there’s nothing I can do to help anyone else, and just watching as the world kinda goes to sh*t. Plus I can’t really do anything for myself. I’ve attempted to talk to my parents about the anxiety/depression but they just dismiss it and im not really old enough to do anything without their consent. So I kinda just want to give up on everything. It’s hard to enjoy things when there’s always a constant feeling of guilt/fear/just a lack of energy or motivation. I just want to go to sleep and give up honestly ¯_(ツ)_/¯. Also remember to drink water guys and take your meds if you have them

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ThoughtsAreNotFacts
Community Member
1 year ago

I feel for ya. Anxiety and depression can be crippling and people (for instance parents) who don't experience it don't understand. Something that got me through many a night when the struggles got to be too much was letting go of any kind of planning and anticipatory worrying. My only task was to get through until the next day. Sometimes you're the only one you can count on so take as much pressure off as you can. I don't know if that sounds trite, I hope not. Actually helped me a lot and years later I don't struggle like I did at your age. Hang in there.

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#15

my 13-year-old brother is really sick with some unknown sickness. he goes to the doctor a lot and they said he only has about a year or less to live. my older brother died almost 2 years ago and i don't wanna lose another sibling.

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Chaotic-Pansexual (she/they)
Community Member
1 year ago

That’s really tough. I empathize with your pain and just know that no matter what happens, eventually it’ll get better and whatever pain you go through will end up becoming less noticeable and easier to bear. There are people here for you so please don’t give up. Take it one day at a time

#16

I’m 67 my Mother is 88. Yep it’s a HUGE problem. The only thing it has taught me is that I will NEVER burden my children’s lives by insisting I have to stay in my home. If independence is only achieved by your family helping you it’s called being completely selfish.

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#17

I'm struggling to stay motivated enough to do chores and stuff after job. I want to lay down and sleep for 15 hours. I don't really want to do anything except watch some dumb videos, I don't even enjoy playing video games. But it'll pass.

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Patrick Triplett
Community Member
1 year ago

The people who read posts like these are the reason you're writing it. Chances are we're in different time zones, different countries, probably even on different continents. However, at least for me, reading this reminds me I'm not alone, even if I am physically. It WILL pass. It's so hard, I'm trying to change the way I talk to myself, as I'd never talk to anyone else as poorly as I do. We are our worst enemies, or our best friends. And small success' is still a success.

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#18

I just recently feel like I'm falling apart and can't hold it together anymore. I'm also starting high school and I'm so worried about it because I'm worried about being able the keep up with work and friendships and relationships and so much more. I'm just always anxious now.

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Alisha Taylor
Community Member
1 year ago

Here's what to do; Yes, HS is going to be hard. But you're going to keep your eyes open for "That" adult. The one who smiles at you and genuinely asks how your day is. They remember you and check in. They're there, just waiting for you. It's going to be fine. Deep breaths, peaceful thoughts and REACH OUT when you feel overwhelmed. ~Sincerely, "That" Teacher who loves all her kiddos.

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#19

My current job is killing me. I found a new job but I’m losing half my pay, but I took it because I can’t stay at my current one. They expect 50+ hours weekly and I’ve done that for nearly two years and it will kill me if I stay much longer.

I’m worried with the new job I won’t be able to adequately support me and my son. I’m a single mother with no other support and while I’ve made a budget he has autism and the medical bills will be killer.

What if I fail. What if I’m making the wrong choice. Why can’t I be better.

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Caro Caro
Community Member
1 year ago

Of all the questions that last one is sad. You are doing better because you want the best for your child. I don't know if you can get financial aid/support where you are. Come on Coyote, you are great !

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#20

my life is confusing
i don’t know how else to put it. i’m starting the 8 th grade in a month, and i’m just so scared. this year school is until 4, with a 5 min break between periods. next year… i might have 9 periods or even 10, meaning school is till 5, and homework on every subject.
guys stress me out as well, text me that they like me and i’m just so, so confused rn. guys flirt with me and i get this isn’t a huge problem, but it just makes me feel uneasy and uncomfortable. just leave me alone ahhh, i have other problems.
i’m also incredibly pressured into having good grades. i had a 4.0 gpa in 5 th grade, and last year i had 3.9. my parents are pressuring me so much aaaaah.
i have to start working soon to be financially independent by the time i’m 16 (in 3 yrs), which is when i’m leaving to nyc without my parents. it’s just all so soon.
i have problems with my health, and i’m dizzy often. i have meltdowns quite often, and i’m kind of just falling down into this mental health problems pit.

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Iʕ •ᴥ•ʔ
Community Member
1 year ago (edited)

Also , a 3.9 GPA is very good . Be proud of yourself . If your parents pressure you , just try , but don’t push yourself too hard . You’re doing very well.

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#21

Recovering from my 2nd spinal fusion surgery. It's going a lot better than the first, but there is still pain, and boredom. Once I'm fully recovered, I won't need another fusion for about a decade, hopefully, and that will be in my neck. I'm getting around ok, but still on pain meds and sleeping a lot. Sometimes no pain, some nerve pain, sometimes more sore. But it's never as bad as it was before surgery!

Also, got called from f.i.l's assisted living in another state yesterday, he was really agitated and screaming. They sent him by ambulance to hospital. He.. had never got Medicare part B, and only had Part A and VA. But we found a way the VA will cover his hospital stay. Still, husband wants to visit him, but can't really leave me to make the 6 hour drive. He calls frequently, and Dad is well medicated, but hub still is frustrated at it all. My bff says she can stay with me, but he doesn't want to drive alone, find a room, drive back, and still have to work Mon...

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#22

I got usual life struggles. Need an 2nd part time job but every part time job wants their employees available around the clock, 24/7, or they don't consider you. I've got rent increasing every year. Don't know how people can afford to live on their own.
my daughter just graduated but she's special needs and is going into a program to help her find accommodating employment. Her dad is just letting us go adrift, because he's starting a new family with someone he just met last year. Fine. He can be that way. We're hoping she can be accepted on an affordable insurance plan.
I'm trying to get a side art business going but that's more of a strategy game than struggle. I've got a good, repeat customer in the family, thank goodness.
I could actually leave my current job any time, now, as I don't want to be doing this for 35 more year. No. No. GAWD No. NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

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#23

My son leaves for college soon, leaving me alone for the first time since my husband died.

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ThoughtsAreNotFacts
Community Member
1 year ago

Start planning how you will spend some of your time. Have something to look forward to when it's just you and don't wait until he leaves. It's going to be an adjustment but it'll be okay!

#24

I'm feeling super self-conscious these days and sometimes wear hoodies even if it's super hot

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𝓴𝓪𝔀𝓪𝓲𝓲_𝓐𝓾𝓭𝓻𝓮𝔂
1 year ago

I'm sorry to hear that. Try to talk to yourself like you'd talk to your best friend. Ex. you wouldn't call them fat/ugly, so what should you talk to yourself like that? It's much easier said than done, but I really hope you feel better soon!!!

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#25

Since the begining of the pandemic I've developped a light online pandemic addiction (mainly books) and it's starting to create financial issues and some tension at home. I'm aware of it and working to go back to normal. The positive aspect is that I always have lots of choice when I want to start reading a new book.

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MauKini
Community Member
1 year ago

I feel you. Have you tried a flatrate? Eg amazon has an ebook flatrate.

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#26

just a few weeks ago I read a post on BP about how kids who were bullied in school were not in fact ugly and unlovable and so on. And I realized that this had been my biggest problem, and that is where it came from. It should have been a relief, but it's just too late, I've internalised it so much and so deep that I don't think I can ever come back from that and come to believe that I am not ugly or lovable or worthy, etc. I'm grateful that one person posted it for people to see, because it will probably help a lot of people, but the only thing it did for me was to put it into words, into coherent sentences.

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Sue Bradley
Community Member
1 year ago

Could you look into having therapy? It would really help you - and you deserve to live your life without this past trauma being with you Xx

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#27

I am not happy with my marriage with my husband. I have been married for 18.5 years.

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Sue Bradley
Community Member
1 year ago

Can you find some counselling - you can safely discuss what's going on for you - and the decide what to do going forwards Xxx

#28

Being at my dad's


I hate him and he hates me


Thank God I can go to court soon and get this over with.


He lies to me

Yells at me for no reason

Tries to come up with reasons to take my phone away


He's worse than I make it seem


Because of this I no longer show any interest of contact towards him and do my best to avoid him

I don't wanna see him, I don't wanna look at him I don't even wanna breathe around him! He always reeks of disgusting body spray


I just hate him

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Patrick Triplett
Community Member
1 year ago

Family are often the most toxic people in our lives. I don't know you at all, other than I can tell you're a much better person than him. I have "toxic" family members, hardest thing I've done on my life was cut them out in a way that made me keep some semblance of self respect, but it was the best decision I could've made. You'll get through this and you'll be a stronger person for it. Juan is right, we're here for you and we'll help you be the most bored panda you want to be :)

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#29

I don't have any impetus.

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sam puckett
Community Member
1 year ago

Oh man I'm so so sorryt

#30

well for me i have a hard time just generally opening up to people which is really bad because I am going to a private school with totally new people.I have gotten out of touch with my best friends and i can mask my feelings perfectly.

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Community Member
1 year ago

so nobody knows if anythings wrong with me

#31

I quit my job on 7/8. And been looking for work. I just used last of money to pay off bills for this month. Going to be empty of cash this week when they payments cash. Trying to get unemployment because even though I quit the job it was because I had gotten injured but the foreman an boss sorta brushed it off that it was my fault. And actually over the 5.5 years there I’d never been written up but all that seems not to matter to the boss that says I’m unprofessional. Dude put it in writing or talk to me. So I’m hoping to get something from the state back. But like I mentioned I’m bow empty. I don’t want to ask my family to help. And I’ve stocked up on pet food for my cats and gassed my car too. So I don’t need much. I have a bag of hot dogs in the freezer. I’m just so stressed about being homeless in a few weeks an by the 10th the car ins will be due an not able to pay from my accounts. I’ve had job offers but I don’t want to go back to retail. I don’t want to work midnights (I have night blindness and going to or getting home in the dark is something I can’t do) or it’s part time very small hours that wouldn’t allow for a second job because they are so scattered. I don’t understand. I want a job but there isn’t anything that normal people can do. Also I suck at waitressing because I’m dyslexic and really bad at it. I’m more a machine person (f52) than a human interaction computer person. Help?

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#32

Haha, petty struggle, but that YouTuber Flamingo, I have a crush on him. Why me 😩✋

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1 year ago

This is true, but also kind of a joke lol? The real thing that I'm a bit annoyed with is, I don't want to share too much but I mistook admiration for having a crush on someone so now I feel slightly dumb? I'm ok though!