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Guy Refuses To Pay $126 For His Date’s Food, So She Shows Him Her True Colors
Guy Refuses To Pay $126 For His Date’s Food, So She Shows Him Her True ColorsGuy Refuses To Pay $126 For His Date’s Food, So She Shows Him Her True Colors
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Guy Refuses To Pay $126 For His Date’s Food, So She Shows Him Her True Colors

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In the old days, when women were less likely to work and earn their own money, it became normal for the man to pick up the bill while on a dinner date. In some cultures, this hangover from the past is still very much the accepted norm, while in gender equality-progressive countries like Denmark for example, men insisting on paying for everything can be seen as rude and sexist.

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    Image credits: findemaxa (not the actual photo)

    First dates can be an awkward social minefield in general, and this little ambiguity only adds to the confusion. Reddit user u/CuteBananaMuffin decided to share his story recently, and it’s fair to say, his date definitely had some old-fashioned first date ideas. After doing the progressive (and frankly, fair) thing on the first date, he thought he’d try to ask her out again. He obviously thought it had gone pretty well, and perhaps it had, up until the fateful moment the restaurant bill appeared, and he learned how rude people could truly be.

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    “The date was fun at first until she started talking about another guy and how much he liked him, but I thought ‘let’s eat, talk and leave’ since she’s into another guy, and it all crumbled when it came to the bill,” he told Bored Panda. “She was shocked that I let her pay. She didn’t say anything at the time, but from her facial expression, I realized she was furious for not getting free food.”

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    “I usually pay for both sides when it comes to the bill, but I’m a student, and I work 60 hours a week to pay for food, books, etc. so I obviously couldn’t afford to pay 110 euros for her food. I asked her out again to apologize pretty much for the previous time, hoping we can go to a cheaper place so I could make up for it, but as you can see, the result was awful…

    Here’s what others had to say about the exchange

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    Gerda

    Gerda

    Author, Community member

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    This lazy panda forgot to write something about itself.

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    Gerda

    Gerda

    Author, Community member

    This lazy panda forgot to write something about itself.

    What do you think ?
    Mama Panda
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My thing has always been that whoever invites is the one that pays. Unless it is discussed prior to whoever accepts the invite that we are going dutch. I think it's only fair and I have never had any complaints. Btw if you can't tell by my name already, I am a Woman. =)

    Ronel du Plessis
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In my friend circle we also do that. An unspoken rule is that you never order more than a certain amount. This lady is clearly a gold digger who only wants to be wine and dined by those with some money! SHAME ON HER!

    Load More Replies...
    Matt Palmer
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When my wife and I were dating, we took it in turns to pay. We still do that now :D

    Wezbie
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Same! It has never been an issue with us at all. We'd take turns but would never go 'I paid last time so you pay'. It would just be that if one paid for dinner, the other would get the cinema tickets and snacks. Guess we just knew we'd stay together so it never crossed our minds as being an issue. We also never really went on dates as we started going out pretty quickly and pre tinder etc. I can imagine it being an absolute nightmare to deal with some people like the one in the post...

    Load More Replies...
    Justina Garlaitė
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The biggest question is why would he ask her out after that dinner? I mean, yeah sex and stuff but it was soooo not worth it...

    S.
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As he said — he knew she was mad, so he wanted to make it up for it on a second date.

    Load More Replies...
    Bill Taylor
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    First off, it's tacky to order expensive items if you're expecting someone to pay. Second, if you invite someone to dinner, it should be your treat.

    Charles Graves
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I disagree with your second sentence being “automatic”. The purpose of a date is for a couple to get to know each other romantically, and a date is *intended* for a couple that has a *reasonable belief* the date may turn sexual & romantic in the future. That’s the main point of dating- is to get married and have kids, which involves sex- so yes, sex is a natural element of dating. In this instance, the girl made it VERY CLEAR in conversation that she was NOT romantically or sexually interested in the OP, by talking to OP about her wanting to hook up with another guy. This not only shows she is not romantically or sexually interested in OP, but it also shows that she has zero respect for OP. (Women decide within 30 seconds if they’d sleep with a man.) In other words, the OP can be very reasonably certain that at the time of her ordering $110 lobster and wine, she had no interest in him and was using him. Thus, he had no obligation to pay for her. She’s a scammer

    Load More Replies...
    Rachelle
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I just love how a lot of women pull the "you must be gay" card when things don't go their way after a date. Pathetic.

    Crouching_Penn_Hidden_Teller@yahoo.com
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A lot of men pull the "you must be a dyke" c**p if a woman doesn't want to have sex with them.

    Load More Replies...
    Phoenix Hocking
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Back in the day, it was normal for the guy to pay when he asked a girl out on a date. Now, not so much. I'm older than dirt now, and I fully expect to pay for my own meal, unless I'm being treated for some reason. And if somebody else is paying, I tend to order from the cheaper side of the menu. I mean, really. That's just good manners. Apparently, this little gold-digger's mother never taught her any.

    Maura NíConnell
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why do you assume it's her mother's fault? That's rather sexist. Her father could have taught her that.

    Load More Replies...
    Annina Aleksandra
    Community Member
    6 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When are people going to stop assume? 🙄 Just ask and smile, the date doesn’t end there. “Are we splitting the bill?” with a smile has never been more easy! I personally think it would be super weird if someone paid for everything, especially food and wine on the first date. Two cups of coffee and buns? Yeah maybe. I think it’s quite normal to split the bill when you are not dating and even then, it depends on how you do things. I personally have paid bills, splitted bills and been offered to pay when I say thank you! I work for my money. I don’t need someone to open doors or pay my stuff but if they want to do it and we are already going out well fine. That’s probably 95% of nordic girls for you. We are independent and able to do our own s**t. 👊🏼 Also I have dated both men and women (lets just say humans) and treated them the same. Never had any problems with the bill. Guess why? No assuming! Is it just me and how I was raised or what? 😄

    Petra Schaap
    Community Member
    6 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So if the rule is that the one who invites pays, you can at least have the decency to not order something expensive, or to ask if its ok to order something expensive.

    Steve Armstrong
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't think you understand the rule. She invited and SHE ordered something expensive. She shouldn't have to ask if it's ok but she damn well should have offered to pay right out of the gate.

    Load More Replies...
    Helena R
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't think circumstances matter, whoever you go out to dinner or drinks with you should at least be prepared to pay for yourself. If your date or friends offer to pay for you then that's very kind, but no one is entitled to it

    Crouching_Penn_Hidden_Teller@yahoo.com
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    she called him gay and said he only wanted to have sex with her? huh? hello?

    Load More Comments
    Mama Panda
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My thing has always been that whoever invites is the one that pays. Unless it is discussed prior to whoever accepts the invite that we are going dutch. I think it's only fair and I have never had any complaints. Btw if you can't tell by my name already, I am a Woman. =)

    Ronel du Plessis
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In my friend circle we also do that. An unspoken rule is that you never order more than a certain amount. This lady is clearly a gold digger who only wants to be wine and dined by those with some money! SHAME ON HER!

    Load More Replies...
    Matt Palmer
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When my wife and I were dating, we took it in turns to pay. We still do that now :D

    Wezbie
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Same! It has never been an issue with us at all. We'd take turns but would never go 'I paid last time so you pay'. It would just be that if one paid for dinner, the other would get the cinema tickets and snacks. Guess we just knew we'd stay together so it never crossed our minds as being an issue. We also never really went on dates as we started going out pretty quickly and pre tinder etc. I can imagine it being an absolute nightmare to deal with some people like the one in the post...

    Load More Replies...
    Justina Garlaitė
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The biggest question is why would he ask her out after that dinner? I mean, yeah sex and stuff but it was soooo not worth it...

    S.
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As he said — he knew she was mad, so he wanted to make it up for it on a second date.

    Load More Replies...
    Bill Taylor
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    First off, it's tacky to order expensive items if you're expecting someone to pay. Second, if you invite someone to dinner, it should be your treat.

    Charles Graves
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I disagree with your second sentence being “automatic”. The purpose of a date is for a couple to get to know each other romantically, and a date is *intended* for a couple that has a *reasonable belief* the date may turn sexual & romantic in the future. That’s the main point of dating- is to get married and have kids, which involves sex- so yes, sex is a natural element of dating. In this instance, the girl made it VERY CLEAR in conversation that she was NOT romantically or sexually interested in the OP, by talking to OP about her wanting to hook up with another guy. This not only shows she is not romantically or sexually interested in OP, but it also shows that she has zero respect for OP. (Women decide within 30 seconds if they’d sleep with a man.) In other words, the OP can be very reasonably certain that at the time of her ordering $110 lobster and wine, she had no interest in him and was using him. Thus, he had no obligation to pay for her. She’s a scammer

    Load More Replies...
    Rachelle
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I just love how a lot of women pull the "you must be gay" card when things don't go their way after a date. Pathetic.

    Crouching_Penn_Hidden_Teller@yahoo.com
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A lot of men pull the "you must be a dyke" c**p if a woman doesn't want to have sex with them.

    Load More Replies...
    Phoenix Hocking
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Back in the day, it was normal for the guy to pay when he asked a girl out on a date. Now, not so much. I'm older than dirt now, and I fully expect to pay for my own meal, unless I'm being treated for some reason. And if somebody else is paying, I tend to order from the cheaper side of the menu. I mean, really. That's just good manners. Apparently, this little gold-digger's mother never taught her any.

    Maura NíConnell
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why do you assume it's her mother's fault? That's rather sexist. Her father could have taught her that.

    Load More Replies...
    Annina Aleksandra
    Community Member
    6 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When are people going to stop assume? 🙄 Just ask and smile, the date doesn’t end there. “Are we splitting the bill?” with a smile has never been more easy! I personally think it would be super weird if someone paid for everything, especially food and wine on the first date. Two cups of coffee and buns? Yeah maybe. I think it’s quite normal to split the bill when you are not dating and even then, it depends on how you do things. I personally have paid bills, splitted bills and been offered to pay when I say thank you! I work for my money. I don’t need someone to open doors or pay my stuff but if they want to do it and we are already going out well fine. That’s probably 95% of nordic girls for you. We are independent and able to do our own s**t. 👊🏼 Also I have dated both men and women (lets just say humans) and treated them the same. Never had any problems with the bill. Guess why? No assuming! Is it just me and how I was raised or what? 😄

    Petra Schaap
    Community Member
    6 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So if the rule is that the one who invites pays, you can at least have the decency to not order something expensive, or to ask if its ok to order something expensive.

    Steve Armstrong
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't think you understand the rule. She invited and SHE ordered something expensive. She shouldn't have to ask if it's ok but she damn well should have offered to pay right out of the gate.

    Load More Replies...
    Helena R
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't think circumstances matter, whoever you go out to dinner or drinks with you should at least be prepared to pay for yourself. If your date or friends offer to pay for you then that's very kind, but no one is entitled to it

    Crouching_Penn_Hidden_Teller@yahoo.com
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    she called him gay and said he only wanted to have sex with her? huh? hello?

    Load More Comments
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