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"She Is A Mess. Her Whole Life Is A Mess": Guy Lets Ex Sleepover And Spends 14 Hours Driving Her Home
There are things in relationships you just don’t do, and spending the night with your ex is one of them. Reddit user EmeArr did—and, predictably, got in trouble for it with his current girlfriend.
However, he believes he was simply helping his ex get out of a bad situation and claims nothing happened between them.
In a post on r/AITAH, the guy insists that after driving her back to his place, he slept on the couch while she took the bed, and then drove her seven hours to her parents’ home.
RELATED:
Sometimes, things sound much worse than they really are
Image credits: denisapolka (not the actual image)
And this guy, who just spent the night with his ex, claims his girlfriend doesn’t understand it
Image credits: EugenePetrunin (not the actual image)
Image credits: standret (not the actual image)
Image credits: EmeArr
Many people in relationships have doubts about their partner
According to State of Us: National Study on Modern Love & Dating in 2025, nearly half (48%) of singles have suspected their partner of cheating at some point in the past. Women were more likely to report suspicion of cheating than men — 54% vs. 43%.
Among those who suspected foul play, 85% said they did something about it, including 32% who immediately confronted their partner.
Going no contact with your ex might help reduce the chances of misunderstandings or lingering emotional entanglements. As the phrase implies, the rule is about cutting off all communication after a breakup. This includes avoiding phone calls, texts, direct messages, “likes” on social media, and in-person meetups. Some even argue that simply looking at an ex’s social media posts should be considered off-limits.
“In addition to no direct contact with your previous partner, it also means not following up with mutual friends to gather any form of information about their lives,” says Leanna Stockard, LMFT, at LifeStance Health.
While you will inevitably think of your ex-partner from time to time, eliminating contact and ceasing even innocent “check-ins” can help reduce how often your mind drifts back to them—or interferes with your current relationship.
Image credits: The Yuri Arcurs Collection (not the actual image)
What is cheating, anyway?
Another important thing to consider is whether you and your partner share the same definition of infidelity.
A YouGov survey asked U.S. adults about specific behaviors and whether they qualify as cheating in a monogamous relationship. Here’s how respondents answered:
- Sleeping with someone else: 93%
- Sending explicit photos to another person: 90%
- Falling in love with someone else: 82%
- Kissing another person: 81%
- Sending suggestive texts: 83%
- Lying about spending time with someone else: 80%
- Forming an intense emotional attachment: 73%
- Holding hands with another person: 64%
- Sharing your most private thoughts with another person: 46%
- Flirting with another person: 55%
t’s very possible that our Redditor and his girlfriend simply have different understandings of boundaries and are only now realizing it.
Image credits: freepik (not the actual image)
After the post went viral, its author provided more information on his relationship
Quite a few people said the guy mishandled the situation
However, some thought that both partners reacted reasonably, all things considered
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What do you think ?
FreeTheUnicorn 2 months ago
Driving her home is something I'd do for any acquaintance getting away from an a****r, all the more important to do it for someone you've been close to. If current gf wouldn't do the same, she's not worth staying with.
Sue User 2 months ago
Yep. I don't see a problem here. He let his girlfriend know what was happening every step way. My question to all the naysayers. If he had helped a bloke, would you feel the same ? If you say no because he once had s*x with the ex, then you are acting like men are just pigs. Shame. He did the right thing.
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Lyoness 2 months ago
His motives are admirable but there's very little consideration for the GF here. Stepping in when the ex was being a****d? Makes sense. Taking her to his place for the night? Ohhhhkay. A stretch, but his heart was in the right place. But a 14 HOUR drive AND an overnight stay? Really? That's taking it too far. There's no reason he couldn't have called her parents or one of her friends or buy her a train ticket or or or. Why did HE have to be the one to rescue her? And why isn't there even a fraction of the same concern for his current GF that he has for his ex? I don't think he's necessarily an AH, just clueless and in the wrong relationship.
Binky Melnik 2 months ago
It seems to me that the ex’s dad is the motivator here and not the ex. He clearly loves the man tremendously and feels he owes him. I think this all coulda been solved had his GF gone with him. I hafta assume he’s gassed on and on about the dad, so it mightta been Nice to take GF to meet him, and it certainly woulda allayed the GF’s fears. Poor guy; he tried to do the right thing but didn’t use his brain.
Load More Replies... FreeTheUnicorn 2 months ago
Driving her home is something I'd do for any acquaintance getting away from an a****r, all the more important to do it for someone you've been close to. If current gf wouldn't do the same, she's not worth staying with.
Sue User 2 months ago
Yep. I don't see a problem here. He let his girlfriend know what was happening every step way. My question to all the naysayers. If he had helped a bloke, would you feel the same ? If you say no because he once had s*x with the ex, then you are acting like men are just pigs. Shame. He did the right thing.
Load More Replies... Lyoness 2 months ago
His motives are admirable but there's very little consideration for the GF here. Stepping in when the ex was being a****d? Makes sense. Taking her to his place for the night? Ohhhhkay. A stretch, but his heart was in the right place. But a 14 HOUR drive AND an overnight stay? Really? That's taking it too far. There's no reason he couldn't have called her parents or one of her friends or buy her a train ticket or or or. Why did HE have to be the one to rescue her? And why isn't there even a fraction of the same concern for his current GF that he has for his ex? I don't think he's necessarily an AH, just clueless and in the wrong relationship.
Binky Melnik 2 months ago
It seems to me that the ex’s dad is the motivator here and not the ex. He clearly loves the man tremendously and feels he owes him. I think this all coulda been solved had his GF gone with him. I hafta assume he’s gassed on and on about the dad, so it mightta been Nice to take GF to meet him, and it certainly woulda allayed the GF’s fears. Poor guy; he tried to do the right thing but didn’t use his brain.
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