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Being in a relationship with someone often means loving them for who they are. That includes all their flaws and weird habits. Nobody is perfect in this regard – both you and your partner likely have traits that drive the other one crazy. And the answers in this thread might just be proof of that.
Not sure if you should get into another fight with your SO over their dirty socks lying on the floor again? Check out these answers, and you'll feel way better about your own nasty habits. Some are maddening, others – hilariously disgusting. And if you have a gross habit of your partner's that drives you crazy, Pandas, share it with us in the comments!
We here at Bored Panda wanted to know more about how weird and distasteful habits can influence relationships. So we reached out to therapist Judith Aronowitz, RN, LCSW, who specializes in relationships. She explained the psychology behind our less-than-pleasant habits and how it can affect romantic relationships. Read her expert insights below!
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#1
Farts in her sleep, wakes up because of the smell then gets upset and blames me for [gassiness]. Been together for 10 years and its still funny.
Relationship therapist Judith Aronowitz explains why we might sometimes overlook our partner's not-so-pleasant habits. "After a certain amount of time in a relationship, people start to feel more comfortable with each other and a trust starts to develop. The facade of perfection wanes and we start to let the guard down."
"We start to recognize that we can be ourselves in another's presence. This can look different in all couples but it may look like exposing less-than-beautiful habits," the relationship therapist goes on. "There is a safety that develops between people and they allow themselves to be seen warts and all. One may feel comfortable using the toilet in front of the other, maybe burping or passing gas."
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#2
Sleeps with a stinking, rotten ‘blankie’ that never gets washed and is quite possibly the cause of Covid-19.
#3
Constantly see his booty crack. But I love the guy. He has no a*s. Makes it hard for belts to stay put.
Aronowitz says that we choose to overlook these unpleasant things our partners do because we decide that, at the end of the day, it doesn't matter. "Mutual respect develops when we are able to understand another's feelings. When we can value and consider the other, especially around opposing viewpoints."
"When we can accept each other's individuality and unique characteristics, respect develops. We are more likely to overlook small things that our partner does. We may decide it isn't worth bringing up. We can also communicate how we feel and work a problem out."
The relationship therapist also reminds us that it's the bad habits that we should focus on and not the person. "Ultimately, when we love someone, we recognize them as human and understand that everyone has some annoying or gross habits," Judith Aronowitz explains. "The goal at the end of the day is to accept your partner's habits and focus on the strengths of the person and the relationship."
#4
Biting my toenails. You read that right. Not her toenails but mine. I don't like it but it doesn't do any harm to me. Then she'll chew on them for hours.
#5
My boyfriend has allergy issues, and has a runny nose 90% of the time so he always has a tissue with him. It’s not the runny nose that’s gross, it’s the leaving of the snotty wet tissues that’s gross. On the couch. On the table. On the bed. Kitchen counter. Bathroom vanity. Window sill beside the toilet. EVERYWHERE. If I don’t pick them up, the dog will - then I have to pull out a snotty tissue from my dogs slobbery mouth.
#6
When he gets really comfy and into deep sleep he farts up a storm and I think it’s the cutest thing ever. Luckily, there is no smell, just little happy toots and his mumbling conversations. I love him so much.
How can partners deal with their SO's nasty habits? Experts say that shaming them publicly (albeit anonymously) is hardly the way. Australian dating and relationship coach Debbie Rivers claims that the first and most important thing is to recognize that your partner might be doing that gross thing not out of spite.
"They aren't personally directed at you and your partner may not even realize that they are doing it," she claims. “In fact, they may have no idea quite how annoying it is to you." The second step would be to talk about the issue. However, Rivers advises doing so when you're calm and not right after witnessing the gross habit.
#7
He doesn’t brush his teeth everyday. He’s starting to do it more but, I hate to say it, it took a lot of nagging and begging him to be better about it. Sometimes his breath smells so bad but I’m just used to it bc he smokes and cigarette smell doesn’t bug me much. I’ve accepted that this is the one red flag I have to deal with and it’s a work in progress but my habits are slowly rubbing off on him but oml don’t judge me.
#8
My ex never cleaned her room and she had guinea pigs and hadn’t clean their cages on a regular basis that it was attracting flies while she just sat there on TikTok, I had cleaned her room my third visit to her because I couldn’t stand it and had to take the guinea pig cage outside and scrape the bottom, wipe it, and let it soak for over an hour.
#9
His dog sleeps in bed with him The dog regularly p*sses in said bed. After an uncountable number of bed toppers, comforters and sheets; I'm seriously rethinking this relationship. Edit to add: I'm not a dog hater...or at least I wasn't until this dog. Well I don't actually hate the dog. It could've been trained. But nope. This dog randomly sh*ts in the living room and has such "favorite" p*ssing areas in the house that the wood laminate floors are all ruined. The dog has a doggy door. It can't be put on a leash because it doesn't like collars/leashes. It never gets reprimanded for any bad behavior and regularly goes after anyone even if my BF is right there. Oh and I can't hug or kiss my BF without the dog going off.
If you wish to address the annoying behavior or habit with your SO, it matters how you do it. The tone of voice, facial expressions, and, most importantly, what words you use. Rivers recommends avoiding such phrases as "You always do that" and "You never listen." Such verbiage might only trigger defensiveness and will hardly lead to any productive discussions.
#10
Doesn't hold back burps or farts. I'm a full defender on letting it out but it's not so great while having a serious conversation or right after being told someone close to you died. Especially because their farts smell like death.
#11
She's averse to wasting water (particularly flushing the toilet), especially when it's just pee... So she will allow a day's worth of pee to accumulate, only for me to have to flush when I get home from work. I tell her all the time to flush every 3 pees, but I'm apparently the default toilet flusher for #1.
#12
He forcefully gags himself when brushing his teeth to remove phlegm. It’s a shockingly loud gag noise every single tooth brushing.
Of course, it goes the other way round as well: when your partner tells you about what habits of yours they don't like, be willing to listen. When they have noticed your comments and reacted appropriately, acknowledge their effort. Encouragement is important when trying to kick a bad habit, so letting your partner know you notice and support them will let them improve and result in a better relationship.
#13
Picks at dandruff while relaxing on the couch. They are huge chunks. Then when he gets up he gives the furniture a hearty sweep with his hand. But yknow that just moves them to the carpet. Can we just… not…pick at the scalp?
#14
Multiple times I saw my ex pick a booger and flick it off into his room Also, about 3 months after we broke up I was cleaning under my bed and found different pieces of gum stuck to the bottom of my bed frame. (Mind u he’s the only other person to sleep in my bed).
#15
Mixes M&Ms and skittles in a bowl and eats them together. We've been married 25 years and have 2 grown children. When I see her do it makes me question every choice I've ever made.
Experts also advise to start talking about gross and disgusting habits only when you really can't take it anymore. Psychiatrist and relationship therapist Dion Metzger, MD, told Style Caster that if it only makes you roll your eyes but not gag, maybe it's worth letting go. "Most people overthink this and end up feeling more anxious during their time together rather than enjoying it. Whenever you can, don't make this the focus of your relationship, and try to go with the flow."
#17
He picks his teeth with the point of a sharp knife. It's not particularly gross, but the thought of metal against teeth makes me cringe so hard, I can't stand it.
#18
He sometimes eats while in the bathroom taking a s**t. He'll also try to feed me snacks in the bathroom, like if he's made cookies and saw me walk past to go pee. (I only ever eat in the bathroom if I'm having a long soak in the tub.).
#21
She thinks it’s funny to show me her menstruating blood . In the shower . She will call me to the shower and set up a fake [end] scene with this stuff just so I gag and she can laugh at me .
#22
Bites whole a*s cartoonish chunks out of cheese we have in the fridge, I think it's funny [very] and we laugh about it but she's actually a rat.
#23
She wears daily wear contacts. She will take them out, and leave them in random places instead of throwing them in the trash. They are a pain to clean because when they dry up, they are hard to peel off of whatever surface they are on (bathroom/kitchen sink countertops, wooden desktop, wooden filing cabinet, wooden nightstand, hardwood floors, etc.).
#24
He doesn't use a napkin. Like never. Not even if he is eating pizza or burguer with his bare hands. He will simply rub one hand with the other once he's finished. Then he will proceed to use those dirty hands to either pet our dog or use the keyboard on the pc.
#25
To take his medication in pill form: He chews up a big piece of food, spits it out in a ball, shoves his medication in it, throws the ball of food back in his mouth and swallows it whole.
#27
Leaves used q tips everywhere! His ears are the cleanest I've ever seen but still can't stand finding them in random spots days later.
#28
He sometimes does not wipe his a*s after he s**ts. He says he can tell if it’s a messy one or a clean one. One time I caught him in the act and told him straight up he needed to wipe rn and prove it to me that it was clean. Y’all. He was right. It was spotless. I thought he didn’t wipe hard on purpose and I made him let me do it. Clean still. I still don’t approve.
#29
Mine hacks and spits into the garbage can by the laundry. I don't always get a bag into the can because it's supposed to be just for lint or paper trash. He misses a lot and the wall next to it shows. Or he spits into the toilet and again misses. Why. Why does he have to spit? I told him either spit outside or spit into toilet paper. I've shown him the wall, it's so gross. I no sooner get it clean and it's gross again. Oh and he leaves his used dental picks on his desk. His garbage can is right there! His office, I leave to him. I may make him clean the spit wall next time. But he does do laundry and the dishes, so that's something. .
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