Mom’s Brutally Honest Post Explains Why You Don’t Owe Strangers Candy For Sitting Next To Your Babies
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We’ve all been on an airplane where some inconsolable baby just won’t stop crying. Some parents try to make it easier for their fellow passengers by handing out goodie bags as a pre-emptive apology, but one mom has written an honest article arguing against such a trend. “Every time I see one of these baggies go viral I am filled with rage,” wrote Cassie Murdoch for Mashable recently.
“These goody bags…send the message we should feel bad for having babies who act like babies. We shouldn’t.” Check out her full article below.
Image credits: Lars Plougmann
This Friday, reddit user “Fe_Mike” posted a photo of gift baggy and a little note “written” by a three-month old with the comment, “Lady on the airplane just handed this to all of the rows around us. She now has an entire team of passengers ready to help.”
Image credits: Fe_Mike
“If this sounds familiar, it’s because these little handouts — usually filled with some candy and a set of ear plugs — have become a full-on viral trend. On the surface it’s a nice gesture, but as the mother of twin toddlers, every time I see one of these baggies go viral I am filled with rage. Other moms and dads I’ve talked to say the same thing. That’s not to say the individual parents who give these out are doing anything wrong. They’re just trying to be nice — a good instinct in these tense times,” writes Cassie.
Image credits: Juanmonino
“The cumulative effect, though, of these goody bags sweeping the feel-good internet is to build in the unrealistic expectation that the next time you board a plane and see someone holding a baby that person owes you a preemptive apology in the form of Tootsie Rolls. The thing about these goody bags that has rubbed many parents the wrong way from the start is that they send the message we should feel bad for having babies who act like babies. We shouldn’t.”
Image credits: Ninjashares
“If my child screams, it may annoy you. But there are a million ways adults can be equally annoying — and they should know better. I once spent a flight trapped next to a man who packed and consumed not one but three intensely smelly tuna sandwiches during the course of the trip. I did not receive a single goody bag for my suffering.”
Image credits: Radist
“Surviving air travel with our sanity intact is hard enough for all of us, not just parents. But most people who fly with their kid have also dragged a car seat, a stroller, extra food and diapers, and approximate 9,000 tons of other miscellaneous supplies. The next time I wrestle my wriggling toddlers and all their crap onboard, I shouldn’t have to also stress that I failed to bring a dozen charming packages full of snacks for everyone around me.”
Image credits: gigantomachy
“We may not be handing you Instagram-worthy gifts, but the vast majority of parents are already going above and beyond to make sure our children don’t bother you during the flight. Trust me when I say, the most stressful part of traveling with a baby is not trying to clean up the inevitable poopsplosion in the minuscule aircraft lavatory during turbulence. It’s worrying non-stop for the entire journey that our child will become inconsolable and disrupt the trip of every passenger within shouting distance.”
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These are a terrible idea. I'm an adult with no kids but I understand babies can't be reasoned with and they might cry on a flight. I'm grownup enough not to need a goody bag to be pacified. I do have issues with parents who are oblivious to their children's ill behaviour and resent having to ask a child behind me to stop kicking my chair but I will, nicely, if I have to.
I like your reply. It's rational, honest, unpretentious, practical. I wish I could upvote it to the top.
I'm with you Daria <3
Wish granted. It's the top comment right now.
Thank you, Yvonne, Carly and everyone else. ♥
You comment definitely helped.
Agreed entirely. I never expect to be compensated for the existence of a baby on a flight, I just want you to try your best to make sure the kid behaves because dammit, you're the parent(s)!
Honestly, I'd be totally up for flights that don't allow babies, but this is coming from the perspective of a person who will never be a parent and can't imagine enjoying a trip if a baby also has to be around.
to the top :)
It's not about apologizing for your baby acting like a baby, it's about being considerate to your fellow travellers who are stuck for hours in a small, crowded and confined space with your crying offspring.
Yes it is the result... but I just think everybody paid the same amount of fee to purchase their ticket. So I find it rather unfair that some people get to sleep next to adults who are peaceful while some people have no choice but to tolerate next to screaming babies because they've got no absolute clue as to who they'll be seated next to when they picked their seats online. It takes two to tolerate, good adults wouldn't complain and would tolerate the best that they could when seated next to a crying baby although I can tell you that this isn't very easy at all! So as a parent, you could at least appreciate their tolerance. Yes I'd be annoyed If I get seated next to a baby but being an honest person, I would at least feel much more appreciated if the parents go the extra mile by handing ear plugs for example. I'd consider them respectful and well-prepared set of parents, and in return, this also improves my level of tolerance as a person.
I agree 100%, no offense meant to the parents but you dont have to fly with a baby, you are more than welcome to keep those kids at home until they are old enough to enjoy the flight and not scream the entire time. I remember babies screaming for the majority of a 13 hour flight to Europe, that wasnt fun for anyone. I have had some local in country flights with infants and they didnt make a peep, i'm just talking about those exceptionally long flights that are miserable for everyone, especially a kid.
Most travelers bring their own entertainment, including earbuds & earplugs.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
Or you could come prepared, like the sensible adult you're meant to be, and buy your own earplugs, because you know there's bound to be crying babies or kids on the flight. Right? Parents have enough on their plates, without having to pacify other adults who should know better than to be intolerant and overly entitled.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
So you gonna reimburse them for the earplugs? No? Then you should have to deal with it. No one should have to buy people stuff incase they have a crying baby on board. Maybe people need to expect the unexpected and pack a pair of ear plugs and get over their " you have a screaming baby, you owe me something" ways.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
u go to movies, pay the same price for shitty seats at the back, no complaint
As a parent, it's YOUR responsibility to look after your kids. You're the one who decided to have kids and also the one who decided to take them on an airplane. Nobody else in the cabin had that choice. It's about taking the feelings of others around you into consideration. Also: a few smelly sandwiches in no way equals the kind of stress that being stuck near a screaming baby will inflict on others.
I agree with you Lizzy.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
just get a pair of earphones and a... grip!
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
I am surprised people tell parents to stay at home just to reduce nuisance for others. Parents have to travel for holidays as well as funerals, weddings not that they need an excuse! We have all been screeming babies that SOMEBODY tolerated. This is just rediculous and pointless. And of course it is the parents' responsibiliy we already feed them, dress them, educate them ect. I have no idea what people are on about. Parents chose to have children and they are fully responsible for them but if there are NO children there will be no doctors, nurses including flight attendants etc to look after us now and wheb we get older. I think people should be able to endure some screaming without complaining about it. I always sympathetic towards before having my own children thinking if this behaviour annnoys me how is this parent coping 24/7 for years!
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
So... Basically.... It's apologising for having a baby acting like a baby. Sorry, but that's the result.
And whats wrong with that? I apologize all the time for things that are beyond my control. It isn't that I feel bad about it necessarily, but that i understand the inconvenience of others. If I go to a concert I am usually blocking someones view because I am tall... I might apologize to the person behind me, but I am dont' feel bad because I am tall. I am just acknowledging that I understand the inconvenience. There is no way for another passenger to know they are going to be next to a baby, but the person with the baby DOES know someone will likely be sitting next to them. So I don't see the harm in being considerate and bringing that person a cheap pair of ear plugs. Honestly, articles like this seem like more a twisting of intentions because the writer, and maybe some of those that agree with her, don't want to make the effort to be a considerate traveler. Much the same way the tuna person didn't want to make the effort either.
I see the point of this, but it doesn't change how I feel about screaming kids.Especially when the adult isn't doing a damn thing to calm it
These are a terrible idea. I'm an adult with no kids but I understand babies can't be reasoned with and they might cry on a flight. I'm grownup enough not to need a goody bag to be pacified. I do have issues with parents who are oblivious to their children's ill behaviour and resent having to ask a child behind me to stop kicking my chair but I will, nicely, if I have to.
I like your reply. It's rational, honest, unpretentious, practical. I wish I could upvote it to the top.
I'm with you Daria <3
Wish granted. It's the top comment right now.
Thank you, Yvonne, Carly and everyone else. ♥
You comment definitely helped.
Agreed entirely. I never expect to be compensated for the existence of a baby on a flight, I just want you to try your best to make sure the kid behaves because dammit, you're the parent(s)!
Honestly, I'd be totally up for flights that don't allow babies, but this is coming from the perspective of a person who will never be a parent and can't imagine enjoying a trip if a baby also has to be around.
to the top :)
It's not about apologizing for your baby acting like a baby, it's about being considerate to your fellow travellers who are stuck for hours in a small, crowded and confined space with your crying offspring.
Yes it is the result... but I just think everybody paid the same amount of fee to purchase their ticket. So I find it rather unfair that some people get to sleep next to adults who are peaceful while some people have no choice but to tolerate next to screaming babies because they've got no absolute clue as to who they'll be seated next to when they picked their seats online. It takes two to tolerate, good adults wouldn't complain and would tolerate the best that they could when seated next to a crying baby although I can tell you that this isn't very easy at all! So as a parent, you could at least appreciate their tolerance. Yes I'd be annoyed If I get seated next to a baby but being an honest person, I would at least feel much more appreciated if the parents go the extra mile by handing ear plugs for example. I'd consider them respectful and well-prepared set of parents, and in return, this also improves my level of tolerance as a person.
I agree 100%, no offense meant to the parents but you dont have to fly with a baby, you are more than welcome to keep those kids at home until they are old enough to enjoy the flight and not scream the entire time. I remember babies screaming for the majority of a 13 hour flight to Europe, that wasnt fun for anyone. I have had some local in country flights with infants and they didnt make a peep, i'm just talking about those exceptionally long flights that are miserable for everyone, especially a kid.
Most travelers bring their own entertainment, including earbuds & earplugs.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
Or you could come prepared, like the sensible adult you're meant to be, and buy your own earplugs, because you know there's bound to be crying babies or kids on the flight. Right? Parents have enough on their plates, without having to pacify other adults who should know better than to be intolerant and overly entitled.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
So you gonna reimburse them for the earplugs? No? Then you should have to deal with it. No one should have to buy people stuff incase they have a crying baby on board. Maybe people need to expect the unexpected and pack a pair of ear plugs and get over their " you have a screaming baby, you owe me something" ways.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
u go to movies, pay the same price for shitty seats at the back, no complaint
As a parent, it's YOUR responsibility to look after your kids. You're the one who decided to have kids and also the one who decided to take them on an airplane. Nobody else in the cabin had that choice. It's about taking the feelings of others around you into consideration. Also: a few smelly sandwiches in no way equals the kind of stress that being stuck near a screaming baby will inflict on others.
I agree with you Lizzy.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
just get a pair of earphones and a... grip!
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
I am surprised people tell parents to stay at home just to reduce nuisance for others. Parents have to travel for holidays as well as funerals, weddings not that they need an excuse! We have all been screeming babies that SOMEBODY tolerated. This is just rediculous and pointless. And of course it is the parents' responsibiliy we already feed them, dress them, educate them ect. I have no idea what people are on about. Parents chose to have children and they are fully responsible for them but if there are NO children there will be no doctors, nurses including flight attendants etc to look after us now and wheb we get older. I think people should be able to endure some screaming without complaining about it. I always sympathetic towards before having my own children thinking if this behaviour annnoys me how is this parent coping 24/7 for years!
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
So... Basically.... It's apologising for having a baby acting like a baby. Sorry, but that's the result.
And whats wrong with that? I apologize all the time for things that are beyond my control. It isn't that I feel bad about it necessarily, but that i understand the inconvenience of others. If I go to a concert I am usually blocking someones view because I am tall... I might apologize to the person behind me, but I am dont' feel bad because I am tall. I am just acknowledging that I understand the inconvenience. There is no way for another passenger to know they are going to be next to a baby, but the person with the baby DOES know someone will likely be sitting next to them. So I don't see the harm in being considerate and bringing that person a cheap pair of ear plugs. Honestly, articles like this seem like more a twisting of intentions because the writer, and maybe some of those that agree with her, don't want to make the effort to be a considerate traveler. Much the same way the tuna person didn't want to make the effort either.
I see the point of this, but it doesn't change how I feel about screaming kids.Especially when the adult isn't doing a damn thing to calm it