Whether you love or loathe pranks, you can probably agree that there have to be some limits. There are some things that simply should not be joked about. And one of them is most definitely marriage.
Redditor u/snoodaz45 shared a heartbreaking story on r/TrueOffMyChest about how her (now ex) boyfriend pretended to propose to her. Then, after getting dumped, he and his family continued to harass her. Read on for the story, as well as the dramatic update.
Bored Panda got in touch with the team at Relate, the largest provider of relationship support in England and Wales, helping millions strengthen their relationships. Ammanda Major, the Head of Service Quality and Clinical Practice at Relate, shed some light on the types of emotions someone can experience after a break-up and what can help someone move on.
Happy and healthy couples will support and respect each other. If that respect goes out the window, things can fall apart
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
A woman shared how her long-term boyfriend broke her heart after faking a proposal
Image credits: snoodaz45
If you’re the only one laughing after your prank, then you’ve pretty much failed as a comedian
It’s clear that the redditor’s ex-boyfriend completely crossed the line. He was so far across the line he couldn’t even see it. Though the OP notes that both she and her ex enjoy pranking each other from time to time, this time, it was a very mean-spirited joke.
After the fancy day at the spa and wining and dining the OP, ‘Andrew’ pulled out a ring box and had a beautiful speech prepared. Inside the box, however, was a note saying that all of this was just a joke. The guy tried to defend himself that he wasn’t ready for marriage yet after 5 long years together.
Insulted, embarrassed, and heartbroken, u/snoodaz45 dumped Andrew on the spot. However, things were a little bit complicated, as they had bought a house together and were planning on moving in. Now, they have to sell it. In the meantime, the OP is looking for an apartment to move into ASAP. All the while, her ex’s family keep harassing her about her decision to break up.
On the whole, where the line is in terms of pranks will partly depend on your audience. If someone is a big fan of them, you have a bit more leeway. Meanwhile, someone who you know hates pranks shouldn’t be forced to endure them. It’s mean. It’s shortsighted. It’s going to backfire.
In both cases, however, there are very clear, common-sense things that you should avoid making jokes about. Including fake proposals, fake breakups, fake moves abroad, kidding about you or your loved ones falling gravely ill or getting into accidents, etc.
When in doubt, put yourself in the other person’s shoes and try to see the situation from their perspective. Think about the topics that your significant other (or anyone else you’re thinking of pranking!) is sensitive about. If you know the person well, then you most likely know what you shouldn’t kid about.
Image credits: Pressmaster (not the actual photo)
If you’re struggling to move forward after a breakup, consider seeing a therapist
“When you’ve been with somebody for years, it can feel really hard to make that leap and end the relationship, even if you know deep down it’s for the best. You may feel like you’ve invested a lot of time into the relationship and you may still have strong feelings for this person. If you’re the person doing the breaking up, it is still a loss and this can bring up feelings of sadness,” Marjor, the Head of Service Quality and Clinical Practice at Relate, told Bored Panda.
“Depending on the circumstances you may also feel angry. You may find yourself questioning your decision and looking back on the relationship with rose-tinted glasses but try to remember in these moments that you ended the relationship for a reason. This can also be a time of great excitement as you embrace a fresh start. In time you may experience feelings of acceptance and contentment as you build a new life,” she explained to us via email.
According to Major, a breakup doesn’t necessarily mean that a relationship has failed. “It can be helpful to reflect on what you have learned from the experience and acknowledge the good times you shared together. Much like friendships, some romantic relationships don’t last forever and that’s ok.”
She also highlighted the fact that everyone is different, in terms of how long it takes someone to move on after a break-up. “The circumstances of the break-up, how long you have been together and your approach to self-care are all likely to play a part in how long you take to move on. You may have good days and bad days. You may think you are over it and then something will remind you of your ex one day and you may feel triggered and become upset. That’s all completely normal,” Major said.
“Do consider speaking to a therapist if you’re struggling to move forward with your life or even if you’d just like some support to process the breakup, understand how you may want to approach relationships in the future, and make some other positive changes in your life.” Meanwhile, anyone looking to make informed decisions about their next steps in life may want to take a look at Relate’s ‘fresh start package’ which can be found on their website, here.
Image credits: Cody Black (not the actual photo)
Couples have to be on the same page when it comes to important questions like marriage and having kids
Your and your prank ‘victim’s’ senses of humor might be very different. If they’re more on the mellow and wholesome side, you shouldn’t force them to like the niche type of dark humor that you personally enjoy. At the end of the day, if you’re the only one laughing your butt off, it’s an awful prank, and you’ve messed up as a comedian. You need to ask yourself why you’re pranking someone. Because if it’s to make them laugh, there are other, less radical ways to do so.
Five years is a very long time to be together. It’s vital that couples in long-term relationships are on the same page when it comes to the most important questions like family, finances, work, and interests. If one partner wants to move to the suburbs, get married, and have kids, but the other one doesn’t, disaster is waiting to strike.
Similarly, the relationship might fall apart if one person has a very passive lifestyle and spends more than they bring in, while the other is more active and thrifty. Those conversations about shared values and goals need to happen, even if they’re sometimes uncomfortable.
Marriage is the next logical step for couples who are fully committed to and respect one another, and genuinely love and are attracted to each other. Of course, nobody’s forcing anyone to get married, but many couples do make their relationships official this way.
You can tell that you’re ready for marriage when you honestly search your feelings for your significant other. If you don’t even want to consider the thought of being with someone else, then you’re ready to commit. Of course, it’s natural to be slightly nervous about taking the next step. But if you’ve been actively avoiding conversations about marriage, then there’s something definitely off.
The author of the post added some more details in the comments
Many readers were horrified by the ex-boyfriend’s behavior. Here’s what they said
The woman shared an important update about what happened next
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)
Image credits: snoodaz45
OP - he and his family are at minimum clueless but more likely just abusive f**ks. Your boyfriend is a selfish man child who thinks the world is one big sitcom, and refuses to take responsibility for his actions. He and his family aren’t upset about losing you, they’re upset that your are disrupting HIS life. Stay with a friend, move your things into a storage unit or a friends garage (if possible) and hire a lawyer so you don’t have to speak with him again.
The abusive part is were he at first laughs about her distress and then gets angry and vindictive because she's not feeling what he wants her to feel while doing nothing to make her feeling better or taking responsibility. Instead he tries to guilt and manipulate her into believing that she alone caused the breakup over nothing. That's abuse. Just in case anyone comes along who doesn't understand this. Feelings are not debatable. Feelings are facts and absolutely no one can change their feelings. But adults in relationships are rightfully expected to see each others feelings and talk openly about them, accepting responsibility for what caused each other to feel a certain way. If people love each other, it's normal to feel bad for hurting them. Especially if you didn't want to. It's a sign pf being in love to care for each other and make amends for hurting each other. OP was doing this by doubting herself and asking if she was an AH. But her Ex did none of that. He has no empathy
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His reaction to her breaking up with him is all the red flags she needs imo.
And his mother said the OP "couldn't handle a simple joke". It was NOT a simple joke. This was an elaborate prank, planned in advance, toying with someone's serious feelings. Anyways, he still has family to prank ("Oh, Andrew darling, the chocolate-covered laxatives for Mother's Day made me literally laugh my a$$ off!").
His response is to get his family to basically.... bully her back into a relationship? How is that supposed to work out? Also, how incredibly childish.
Well if the prank itself wasn’t an indicator, the part of the break up convo where he cussed OP out and sicced his abusive nutbag family on her sure would be. I wish her well on her fresh start!
If someone is willing to publicly humiliate you so that they can get a laugh out of it then it’s time to move on. What an inconsiderate, childish prick.
Talk about dodging a Polaris missle! That jerk was trouble all the way. Judging from his family's reaction to OP'S reaction, it's obvious that the rotten apple doesn't fall too far from the diseased orchard. The fool's just pissed that his victim isn't behaving like one. OP made the right decision in dumping that sorry excuse for a mate; marrying him would have had even worse consequences. Poetic justice would be for OP to send him a note saying that she misses him and would like to talk. Let the c**p human wait at least an hour at a swanky restaurant before the maitre'd hands him a message: "Hello! You've been pranked! Go screw yourself! That goes for your trashy family, too!"
There are some things that are simply exempt from pranks and jokes. Proposals, especially public ones, are on that list. Had he done everything he did, but instead of the prank note, had a note saying something like “I can’t afford the engagement ring you deserve right now, but will you marry me without it?”, then things would’ve been sooooo very different, as that would’ve even sweet, instead of cruel.
I was thinking the same thing - such a a toy ring. There have been many happy marriages that began with a proposal with a soda can tab, ring made from grass/ reed strands, gumball machine ring, etc. He was just a manipulative bully, and wants to be able to walk away when HE is done with her.
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The fact that he's such an AH now about her breaking up over this and doubling down on it instead of bawling his eyes out and trying to make amends tells you everything you need to know about this guy. He's not even sorry! He'd do it again in a heartbeat and is angry that OP didn't laugh. He's not even remotely understanding what he did here or how much he hirt her and he doesn't care! That's not a loving guy! That's a total AH. OP is better off without him. He has no empathy whatsoever and can't take responsibility for his actions. That's not a way to deal with stuff like that. My guess is she'd felt much different if he'd shown true remorse, fully admitting that he got carried away, begging for forgiveness promising never to do anything like that ever again, maybe stop pranking altogether,but he did just nothing to show concern for her wellbeing and just taunted her more. I'm thinking he never planned to marry her and thought it was obvious That's why he mocks her for believing it.
One of the most expensive pranks I've ever heard about. (Not including all the ones that end up causing medical bills.)
im pretty sure he meant the first parts to be a sincere date? or at least close to it, and just the proposal to be a joke
Load More Replies... Why are people always getting calls and messages from the family and friends of their antagonist in these aita stories? There's no one in my life I could imagine this scenario happening with.
Maybe the ones who don't write to AITA don't have folks interfering in their lives. In this situation, it was a five-year relationship, so his family might have felt justified in harassing her. I only remember one situation in my life where the dumped boyfriend's mom insisted that the ex-girlfriend start dating him again.
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I'm not a fan of marriage and I don't think leaving someone for not being ready is stupid. But that's not the issue here, the issue is a very disrespectful joke that went way too far and then he was verbally abusive and tried to gaslight her. So good for her to walk away.
Seems like he's still a child or college bro type here. If his family doesn't understand how hurt you are then tell them you're pregnant. Wait for all the omgs and then say no, you've been pranked. This is how bad he's hurt me. This is the level of hurt I am going through that I cannot trust anything he says anymore. Thank you for being in my life for 5 years but I can see that anything that would even go wrong with us you will always only take his side. Goodbye.
Do *not* buy a home with a boyfriend or girlfriend. Just don't. It makes breaking up far more messy and complicated than it needs to be, if you do break up. Rent until you have a legal connection.
I agree 100%. My opinion, marriage is a legal contract that basically "protects" both parties ( even more so when kids are involved). When you are together everything is sunshine and roses. But when the love turns to hatred ( not as far of a leap as people tend to think). The messiness really does need a neutral 3rd party to dissolve the union.
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I wonder if this guy has seen that this was not only a popular post on reddit, but high view channels on youtube have picked it up, plus it's making the rounds on other sites like this one. Millions of people now know what a d**k this guy is. I'd love to know that he's seen how far spread it's gotten.
My wife and I didn't get married for 10 years - I'd seen too many bad marriages, including her first, and wanted no part of it. (That was about never being ready if not married in five years - now on our 24th) I would never have pulled some b******t like that though. Absolutely nothing funny about it, just cruel.
I remember my friends thinking I was crazy because I said "You should know within 1 year if your girlfriend/boyfriend is someone you want to marry. If you don't, then they're probably not the one." They ones who thought I was crazy are single. 👍
Forget marriage. It’s dissolvable. I use the, would I have a child with this person test.
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All you gotta do is show up with a fake pregnancy test and we'll see if that's just a "simple joke"
And become a punchline in a MRA reddit thread about entrapment. Not very useful.
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Run. Really, run. What he said and being sweet to get back together is a classic abuser tactic. His family sound just as bad . Good thing you didn’t wind up marrying him—you dodged a real bullet there.
He was an a*****e for that "prank". He's as f*****g piece of s**t for getting mad at YOU for breaking up because if hi s****y action and then either getting his family to harass you or at least not demanding they leave you alone. F**k this guy. You dodged a bullet with him and his terrible family. Labeling all this as a "simple joke" is some obvious gaslighting.
SADISTIC M**********R you did the RIGHT THING and if you ever want to get back together remember that horrible breaking feeling he did to you and then tried to blame you for and never go back
The mother and family need to keep out of it as they have nothing to do with the relationship. I have always made the conscious decision to never interfere in my daughter's relationship. I will always be there if she needs to talk about it but I will never contact her partner about it, nor will I tell them anything my daughter has said. I'd rather not know about their arguments but recognise the trust my daughter has in me to not divulge our conversations, neither will I change my opinion of my son in law, unless he does something particularly heinous. Unfortunately my daughter's MIL is the opposite to me and likes to involve herself in everything, the only thing that this has caused is that her darling, baby boy rarely speaks to her.
He basically hung a giant banner that said "I will never marry you." What a t*w*a*t.
After 5 years and he "pranks" you like this? Honey, he wanted to end the relationship and just didn't know how. The fact he was willing to crush your heart & humiliate like you like that in public tells you everything you need to know about him. I'd do a full on social media blast, NAMING HIM - all his friends, family members, any co-workers I could find and explain EXACTLY what this immature a**hole pulled on you. Citing, "Yeah - I broke up with him after 5 years for NO REASON". F*CK HIM.
She did not take the wise advise of her supporters online. They told her block and do not have any contact with this childish, selfish idiot. She exposed herself to further insults and his demeaning family. Never ever go back to a guy who thinks this kind of stuff is funny. It was vile. The fact that his family supports this behavior tell me volumes of where he was enabled to be such a mean person. OP deserves so much better.
The real issue here is that it is clear they are not on the same page with their future anymore. Yes, he just displayed a million red flags, which is also concerning for their future. Yes, that "joke" was insane and cruel. But even if she could somehow overlook the red flags or forgive his ridiculous excuse for a prank, it's clear that they have no path forward. She's realized that she's ready to take the next step in their relationship, and he's made clear he's no where close, so it has to be over regardless. He's just given her ample reason to end it beyond that.
If they are harassing you, you can get the police involved, you are 1000000000% doing the right thing leaving him!!
It was a test of the worst sort: he wanted to see how much of a dedicated loser you were, so he could continue to string you along. You live together, you've graduated, you are making long term plans, such as getting a house. There is no reason why he wouldn't be "ready" to be married. You basically already are. He just wanted to see if he could make you stay after treating you like complete and utter garbage, because then he'd know he could get away with anything.
You did the right thing … his whole family are A******s. Go NC immediately They would now feel entitled to make the rest of your life a living hell. Save yourself the cost of a wedding and subsequent divorce
This prank had a really nasty subtext. He wanted to put you in your place and make sure you were off kilter and insecure about him as a life partner. The humiliation was the point. As for his family, I’m sure he told them a very slanted version of events. But good for you for having the self respect to cut this a*****e loose.
Kind of sounds made up. But if not, I hope she holds out for someone with more maturity.
My BF n I joke n "prank" one another but we would NEVER do something emotionally harmful n if we do by mistake we apologize right away! Dude coulda saved the relationship if he just apologized right off rather than laugh get offended n name call
Next time he says let's be together say sure of course OH that was just a prank we are never ever getting back together.
This guy acutually did OP a favor, he showed his true colors. I really HATE this whole prank thing. I understand the behaviour among a group of friends, to some extent. Usually, what starts with innocent things usually escalate to the point of a$$wholery and abuse. They don't know anything about boundaries, about respecting the other people's feelings, possesions and, in more extreme cases, health. Good people don't prank on their spouses, children, animals, or strangers. If I can give anyone a piece of advice about dating, it's RUN AWAY FROM PRANKSTERS, RUUUUUUNNNN!!!!!!
If the family is giving op crâp and not seeing what the problem was, they're POS too, good riddance, girlie dodged a bullet.
Yeah, doubled down on the gaslighting. Such a "small" thing. Get. Out. Do not stay in the same house as this person.
If the whole family is on his side he didn't tell them what he really did to her.
I swear that I nearly soiled myself wheni saw the headline, but then reading the story? 😳 What on earth gets INTO some people?! (Not brains, apparently, or empathy.) I can’t even believe what I just read! He supposedly loves this girl but then does THIS to her?! He thinks public humiliation is a laugh riot? And can’t believe she doesn’t agree? I wanna meet this man simply so I can slap the smug grin off his face and then laugh at him for being such a sad, impotent, and stupid excuse for a man. I hope OP gets even with him by finding a man a hundred times better than this dipshit, and that ought not be difficult because MOST men ARE better than this asshat! Grrr. I can’t remember a post that’s made me angrier.
This poor girl dodged a HUGE bullet. His family's reactions tell me all I need to know about the gaslighting and sociopathic environment he was raised in. It may not feel like it now, but all of her guardian angels were looking out for her that day!
Here is what I think- OP made a big mistake by even speaking to him. What makes it even worse she broke down and called him which makes her look desperate. Why would she continue to stay on the phone with him after he is calling her names. Why would she answer the phone or read texts from his family unless she thrives on abuse? I really don't believe this really happened.
Wow. He didn't just humiliate her, he humiliated her publicly. What an absolutely cruel thing to do, I'm so glad she dumped him. Absolutely repugnant.
That was a tremendously cruel joke, and you were absolutely justified in breaking up with him.
There are some things you don’t just joke about. Entering into an agreement to marry and become lifelong partner, supporting, loving and caring for one another is serious. He humiliated her in public and then became nasty and abusive, along with his family. In a way, he did her a favour so she doesn’t waste anymore of her time on a wastrel. Now she will have a chance to know what she really wants in a relationship and will be more discerning. And good luck to her in her new life!
Would break up immediately with anyone who played a prank. Childish and on the whole, one-sided. To do it about something like this shows a whole new level of immaturity.
The key point about any prank is that it has to also be funny to the person being pranked. Otherwise it’s just mean, it’s what bullies do.
This is highly unlikely to be true. As a regular reddit user, this is from a subreddit called 'Trueoffmychest' which is known for 'reddit creative writing' exercises - people making up stories to get karma (reddit points) and attention. One of the clues this isn't real is that it is posted from a 'throw away' account - ie, an account made up just to post it. Plesae, be wary believing any of this type of thing as well as the 'AITA' posts bored panda reposts - be cautious about what you believe/buy into from reddit.
It actually doesn't matter if *this* story is true or not. People *do* do this. And the comments and input might be helpful for those actually going through a similar situation. And that's how universal stories are supposed to work. People hear the story, discuss it, and provide their input on the tale and what they might do, if it were them.
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an eye for an eye. op shouldn't run. She should prank him back worse. first, she takes him back with an ultimatum: he must marry her or he is done for. then have him plan a small wedding, since he's such a good planner: make sure he pays for all or at least the majority of the wedding ceremony. lastly, at the altar, (and you know by now where this is going.) she may start with how he prank-proposed her and so on, then right before the kiss, tell him that it was all prank and dump this mf out cold with hysterical laughter in front of his mommy.
1. 99% chance he lied about it to his family 2. he's 99% shitbag. 3. in a couple years, she'll find an adult, not Beavis the Butthead. 4. Get a lawyer and get a restrianing order. In some nations, his conduct is considered harassment by law.
Run. Prank is only good when both sides are laughing, OP's boyfriend revel in immature cruelty. His reaction is even worse - he basically threw tantrum when OP held him accountable for his s**t.
I will say I don't think the slap was necessary. I get her emotions, but nobody should be hitting their partners. What he did was horrible, but I just want to make that comment that hitting men shouldn't be so normalized. She did the right thing by leaving.
Am I the only one who noticed the stock photo they used of a guy who seems to already be married proposing to his date?
Honestly, it was insanely messed up to do something like that, let alone in public. But for 5 years, you guys must have done a lot. I think that if he is truly sorry, you should take him back. Again, that seemed super messed up, but I dint think it's something you guys should split over. A break, yeah, definitely though
In what scenario is it a woman's responsibility to take back a man who is abusive?
Load More Replies... OP - he and his family are at minimum clueless but more likely just abusive f**ks. Your boyfriend is a selfish man child who thinks the world is one big sitcom, and refuses to take responsibility for his actions. He and his family aren’t upset about losing you, they’re upset that your are disrupting HIS life. Stay with a friend, move your things into a storage unit or a friends garage (if possible) and hire a lawyer so you don’t have to speak with him again.
The abusive part is were he at first laughs about her distress and then gets angry and vindictive because she's not feeling what he wants her to feel while doing nothing to make her feeling better or taking responsibility. Instead he tries to guilt and manipulate her into believing that she alone caused the breakup over nothing. That's abuse. Just in case anyone comes along who doesn't understand this. Feelings are not debatable. Feelings are facts and absolutely no one can change their feelings. But adults in relationships are rightfully expected to see each others feelings and talk openly about them, accepting responsibility for what caused each other to feel a certain way. If people love each other, it's normal to feel bad for hurting them. Especially if you didn't want to. It's a sign pf being in love to care for each other and make amends for hurting each other. OP was doing this by doubting herself and asking if she was an AH. But her Ex did none of that. He has no empathy
Load More Replies... His reaction to her breaking up with him is all the red flags she needs imo.
And his mother said the OP "couldn't handle a simple joke". It was NOT a simple joke. This was an elaborate prank, planned in advance, toying with someone's serious feelings. Anyways, he still has family to prank ("Oh, Andrew darling, the chocolate-covered laxatives for Mother's Day made me literally laugh my a$$ off!").
His response is to get his family to basically.... bully her back into a relationship? How is that supposed to work out? Also, how incredibly childish.
Well if the prank itself wasn’t an indicator, the part of the break up convo where he cussed OP out and sicced his abusive nutbag family on her sure would be. I wish her well on her fresh start!
If someone is willing to publicly humiliate you so that they can get a laugh out of it then it’s time to move on. What an inconsiderate, childish prick.
Talk about dodging a Polaris missle! That jerk was trouble all the way. Judging from his family's reaction to OP'S reaction, it's obvious that the rotten apple doesn't fall too far from the diseased orchard. The fool's just pissed that his victim isn't behaving like one. OP made the right decision in dumping that sorry excuse for a mate; marrying him would have had even worse consequences. Poetic justice would be for OP to send him a note saying that she misses him and would like to talk. Let the c**p human wait at least an hour at a swanky restaurant before the maitre'd hands him a message: "Hello! You've been pranked! Go screw yourself! That goes for your trashy family, too!"
There are some things that are simply exempt from pranks and jokes. Proposals, especially public ones, are on that list. Had he done everything he did, but instead of the prank note, had a note saying something like “I can’t afford the engagement ring you deserve right now, but will you marry me without it?”, then things would’ve been sooooo very different, as that would’ve even sweet, instead of cruel.
I was thinking the same thing - such a a toy ring. There have been many happy marriages that began with a proposal with a soda can tab, ring made from grass/ reed strands, gumball machine ring, etc. He was just a manipulative bully, and wants to be able to walk away when HE is done with her.
Load More Replies... The fact that he's such an AH now about her breaking up over this and doubling down on it instead of bawling his eyes out and trying to make amends tells you everything you need to know about this guy. He's not even sorry! He'd do it again in a heartbeat and is angry that OP didn't laugh. He's not even remotely understanding what he did here or how much he hirt her and he doesn't care! That's not a loving guy! That's a total AH. OP is better off without him. He has no empathy whatsoever and can't take responsibility for his actions. That's not a way to deal with stuff like that. My guess is she'd felt much different if he'd shown true remorse, fully admitting that he got carried away, begging for forgiveness promising never to do anything like that ever again, maybe stop pranking altogether,but he did just nothing to show concern for her wellbeing and just taunted her more. I'm thinking he never planned to marry her and thought it was obvious That's why he mocks her for believing it.
One of the most expensive pranks I've ever heard about. (Not including all the ones that end up causing medical bills.)
im pretty sure he meant the first parts to be a sincere date? or at least close to it, and just the proposal to be a joke
Load More Replies... Why are people always getting calls and messages from the family and friends of their antagonist in these aita stories? There's no one in my life I could imagine this scenario happening with.
Maybe the ones who don't write to AITA don't have folks interfering in their lives. In this situation, it was a five-year relationship, so his family might have felt justified in harassing her. I only remember one situation in my life where the dumped boyfriend's mom insisted that the ex-girlfriend start dating him again.
Load More Replies... I'm not a fan of marriage and I don't think leaving someone for not being ready is stupid. But that's not the issue here, the issue is a very disrespectful joke that went way too far and then he was verbally abusive and tried to gaslight her. So good for her to walk away.
Seems like he's still a child or college bro type here. If his family doesn't understand how hurt you are then tell them you're pregnant. Wait for all the omgs and then say no, you've been pranked. This is how bad he's hurt me. This is the level of hurt I am going through that I cannot trust anything he says anymore. Thank you for being in my life for 5 years but I can see that anything that would even go wrong with us you will always only take his side. Goodbye.
Do *not* buy a home with a boyfriend or girlfriend. Just don't. It makes breaking up far more messy and complicated than it needs to be, if you do break up. Rent until you have a legal connection.
I agree 100%. My opinion, marriage is a legal contract that basically "protects" both parties ( even more so when kids are involved). When you are together everything is sunshine and roses. But when the love turns to hatred ( not as far of a leap as people tend to think). The messiness really does need a neutral 3rd party to dissolve the union.
Load More Replies... I wonder if this guy has seen that this was not only a popular post on reddit, but high view channels on youtube have picked it up, plus it's making the rounds on other sites like this one. Millions of people now know what a d**k this guy is. I'd love to know that he's seen how far spread it's gotten.
My wife and I didn't get married for 10 years - I'd seen too many bad marriages, including her first, and wanted no part of it. (That was about never being ready if not married in five years - now on our 24th) I would never have pulled some b******t like that though. Absolutely nothing funny about it, just cruel.
I remember my friends thinking I was crazy because I said "You should know within 1 year if your girlfriend/boyfriend is someone you want to marry. If you don't, then they're probably not the one." They ones who thought I was crazy are single. 👍
Forget marriage. It’s dissolvable. I use the, would I have a child with this person test.
Load More Replies... All you gotta do is show up with a fake pregnancy test and we'll see if that's just a "simple joke"
And become a punchline in a MRA reddit thread about entrapment. Not very useful.
Load More Replies... Run. Really, run. What he said and being sweet to get back together is a classic abuser tactic. His family sound just as bad . Good thing you didn’t wind up marrying him—you dodged a real bullet there.
He was an a*****e for that "prank". He's as f*****g piece of s**t for getting mad at YOU for breaking up because if hi s****y action and then either getting his family to harass you or at least not demanding they leave you alone. F**k this guy. You dodged a bullet with him and his terrible family. Labeling all this as a "simple joke" is some obvious gaslighting.
SADISTIC M**********R you did the RIGHT THING and if you ever want to get back together remember that horrible breaking feeling he did to you and then tried to blame you for and never go back
The mother and family need to keep out of it as they have nothing to do with the relationship. I have always made the conscious decision to never interfere in my daughter's relationship. I will always be there if she needs to talk about it but I will never contact her partner about it, nor will I tell them anything my daughter has said. I'd rather not know about their arguments but recognise the trust my daughter has in me to not divulge our conversations, neither will I change my opinion of my son in law, unless he does something particularly heinous. Unfortunately my daughter's MIL is the opposite to me and likes to involve herself in everything, the only thing that this has caused is that her darling, baby boy rarely speaks to her.
He basically hung a giant banner that said "I will never marry you." What a t*w*a*t.
After 5 years and he "pranks" you like this? Honey, he wanted to end the relationship and just didn't know how. The fact he was willing to crush your heart & humiliate like you like that in public tells you everything you need to know about him. I'd do a full on social media blast, NAMING HIM - all his friends, family members, any co-workers I could find and explain EXACTLY what this immature a**hole pulled on you. Citing, "Yeah - I broke up with him after 5 years for NO REASON". F*CK HIM.
She did not take the wise advise of her supporters online. They told her block and do not have any contact with this childish, selfish idiot. She exposed herself to further insults and his demeaning family. Never ever go back to a guy who thinks this kind of stuff is funny. It was vile. The fact that his family supports this behavior tell me volumes of where he was enabled to be such a mean person. OP deserves so much better.
The real issue here is that it is clear they are not on the same page with their future anymore. Yes, he just displayed a million red flags, which is also concerning for their future. Yes, that "joke" was insane and cruel. But even if she could somehow overlook the red flags or forgive his ridiculous excuse for a prank, it's clear that they have no path forward. She's realized that she's ready to take the next step in their relationship, and he's made clear he's no where close, so it has to be over regardless. He's just given her ample reason to end it beyond that.
If they are harassing you, you can get the police involved, you are 1000000000% doing the right thing leaving him!!
It was a test of the worst sort: he wanted to see how much of a dedicated loser you were, so he could continue to string you along. You live together, you've graduated, you are making long term plans, such as getting a house. There is no reason why he wouldn't be "ready" to be married. You basically already are. He just wanted to see if he could make you stay after treating you like complete and utter garbage, because then he'd know he could get away with anything.
You did the right thing … his whole family are A******s. Go NC immediately They would now feel entitled to make the rest of your life a living hell. Save yourself the cost of a wedding and subsequent divorce
This prank had a really nasty subtext. He wanted to put you in your place and make sure you were off kilter and insecure about him as a life partner. The humiliation was the point. As for his family, I’m sure he told them a very slanted version of events. But good for you for having the self respect to cut this a*****e loose.
Kind of sounds made up. But if not, I hope she holds out for someone with more maturity.
My BF n I joke n "prank" one another but we would NEVER do something emotionally harmful n if we do by mistake we apologize right away! Dude coulda saved the relationship if he just apologized right off rather than laugh get offended n name call
Next time he says let's be together say sure of course OH that was just a prank we are never ever getting back together.
This guy acutually did OP a favor, he showed his true colors. I really HATE this whole prank thing. I understand the behaviour among a group of friends, to some extent. Usually, what starts with innocent things usually escalate to the point of a$$wholery and abuse. They don't know anything about boundaries, about respecting the other people's feelings, possesions and, in more extreme cases, health. Good people don't prank on their spouses, children, animals, or strangers. If I can give anyone a piece of advice about dating, it's RUN AWAY FROM PRANKSTERS, RUUUUUUNNNN!!!!!!
If the family is giving op crâp and not seeing what the problem was, they're POS too, good riddance, girlie dodged a bullet.
Yeah, doubled down on the gaslighting. Such a "small" thing. Get. Out. Do not stay in the same house as this person.
If the whole family is on his side he didn't tell them what he really did to her.
I swear that I nearly soiled myself wheni saw the headline, but then reading the story? 😳 What on earth gets INTO some people?! (Not brains, apparently, or empathy.) I can’t even believe what I just read! He supposedly loves this girl but then does THIS to her?! He thinks public humiliation is a laugh riot? And can’t believe she doesn’t agree? I wanna meet this man simply so I can slap the smug grin off his face and then laugh at him for being such a sad, impotent, and stupid excuse for a man. I hope OP gets even with him by finding a man a hundred times better than this dipshit, and that ought not be difficult because MOST men ARE better than this asshat! Grrr. I can’t remember a post that’s made me angrier.
This poor girl dodged a HUGE bullet. His family's reactions tell me all I need to know about the gaslighting and sociopathic environment he was raised in. It may not feel like it now, but all of her guardian angels were looking out for her that day!
Here is what I think- OP made a big mistake by even speaking to him. What makes it even worse she broke down and called him which makes her look desperate. Why would she continue to stay on the phone with him after he is calling her names. Why would she answer the phone or read texts from his family unless she thrives on abuse? I really don't believe this really happened.
Wow. He didn't just humiliate her, he humiliated her publicly. What an absolutely cruel thing to do, I'm so glad she dumped him. Absolutely repugnant.
That was a tremendously cruel joke, and you were absolutely justified in breaking up with him.
There are some things you don’t just joke about. Entering into an agreement to marry and become lifelong partner, supporting, loving and caring for one another is serious. He humiliated her in public and then became nasty and abusive, along with his family. In a way, he did her a favour so she doesn’t waste anymore of her time on a wastrel. Now she will have a chance to know what she really wants in a relationship and will be more discerning. And good luck to her in her new life!
Would break up immediately with anyone who played a prank. Childish and on the whole, one-sided. To do it about something like this shows a whole new level of immaturity.
The key point about any prank is that it has to also be funny to the person being pranked. Otherwise it’s just mean, it’s what bullies do.
This is highly unlikely to be true. As a regular reddit user, this is from a subreddit called 'Trueoffmychest' which is known for 'reddit creative writing' exercises - people making up stories to get karma (reddit points) and attention. One of the clues this isn't real is that it is posted from a 'throw away' account - ie, an account made up just to post it. Plesae, be wary believing any of this type of thing as well as the 'AITA' posts bored panda reposts - be cautious about what you believe/buy into from reddit.
It actually doesn't matter if *this* story is true or not. People *do* do this. And the comments and input might be helpful for those actually going through a similar situation. And that's how universal stories are supposed to work. People hear the story, discuss it, and provide their input on the tale and what they might do, if it were them.
Load More Replies... an eye for an eye. op shouldn't run. She should prank him back worse. first, she takes him back with an ultimatum: he must marry her or he is done for. then have him plan a small wedding, since he's such a good planner: make sure he pays for all or at least the majority of the wedding ceremony. lastly, at the altar, (and you know by now where this is going.) she may start with how he prank-proposed her and so on, then right before the kiss, tell him that it was all prank and dump this mf out cold with hysterical laughter in front of his mommy.
1. 99% chance he lied about it to his family 2. he's 99% shitbag. 3. in a couple years, she'll find an adult, not Beavis the Butthead. 4. Get a lawyer and get a restrianing order. In some nations, his conduct is considered harassment by law.
Run. Prank is only good when both sides are laughing, OP's boyfriend revel in immature cruelty. His reaction is even worse - he basically threw tantrum when OP held him accountable for his s**t.
I will say I don't think the slap was necessary. I get her emotions, but nobody should be hitting their partners. What he did was horrible, but I just want to make that comment that hitting men shouldn't be so normalized. She did the right thing by leaving.
Am I the only one who noticed the stock photo they used of a guy who seems to already be married proposing to his date?
Honestly, it was insanely messed up to do something like that, let alone in public. But for 5 years, you guys must have done a lot. I think that if he is truly sorry, you should take him back. Again, that seemed super messed up, but I dint think it's something you guys should split over. A break, yeah, definitely though
In what scenario is it a woman's responsibility to take back a man who is abusive?
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