In a world full of mediocre jokes and hackneyed puns, there’s one category that’ll never get banal. Yup, it’s animal puns! And how could it ever get boring if there are around 8.7 million animal species on our planet, and a funny pun must be appointed to each of them! And, although Screaming Hairy Armadillo or Paradoxical Frog already sounds like the beginnings of a clever pun, those are actual animal names, and we’re not here to make fun of them. So instead, check out our list of these peachy animal puns; there are so many, you could use a different one each day for the better part of the year!
Starting with such classics as an alligator in a vest and a definition of Hamsterdam to such wild ones as season’s greetings from a llama, this list covers all of the most popular animal species, celebrations, day-to-day happenings, and many more. Theoretically, you could make a DIY table calendar with a hilarious pun selected for each of the upcoming festivities, for instance, National Badger Day or National Lemon Cream Pie Day. Both are very real, and you can definitely commemorate them with a unique pun or two.
By now, you know what comes next - our directions for you to scroll on down below to reveal the awesome puns that we’ve gathered! After you’ve tamed your giggles, be sure to vote for the most hilarious puns, and don’t be shy to share this article, dedicated to animal puns, with your friends. You might even start your own monthly or weekly celebration - a Share A Pun Day!
What do you call a magic dog?
A Labracadabrador.
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What did the buffalo say when his son left home?
Bison.
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What would bears be without bees?
Ears.
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Elephants are absolutely banned in public pools. You see, this is because they have a very bad habit of dropping their trunks.
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What's a cow eating grass?
A lawn mooer.
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Sharks love swimming only in saltwater.
They don't like pepper water as it makes them sneeze a lot.
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Why did the bunny eat the wedding ring?
Because he heard it was 24 carrots.
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What do you call a pile of cats?
A meowtain.
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What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk.
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Long fairy tales have a tendency to dragon.
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What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
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What city has the largest rodent population?
Hamsterdam.
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Why do cows have hooves?
Because they lactose.
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Why did the leopard hate playing Hide and Seek?
Because he was always spotted!
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How did Noah see all the animals on the ark at night?
A flood light.
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What sound do porcupines make when they kiss?
Ouch!
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Can a bear dance?
Yes, but just barely.
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What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
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Why was the dog overwhelmed?
Because today was ruff.
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What was said during the feline couple's argument?
"You're such a cheetah!"
"No, you're lion!"
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What do you call a ghost chicken?
A poultry-geist.
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Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don't work!
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What did the hawk say when he fell off the branch?
"Well, this is hawkward."
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What do llama’s say during the holiday season?
Fleece navidad!
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Where do orcas hear music?
Orca-stras!
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A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was ticketed for littering.
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What do you call an explosive monkey?
A ba-boom.
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What did the pony say when he had a sore throat?
"Do you have any water? I'm a little horse."
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How can you make an octopus laugh?
You give it ten-tickles!
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What did the cat and dog sing together at karaoke night?
"Don't stop retrieving… hold on to that feline!"
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What do you call an alligator with a vest?
Invest-igator.
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What do you call birds that stick together?
Velcrows!
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Why was the dolphin was sorry?
It didn’t do it on porpoise.
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I've got a chicken-proof front lawn.
It's impeccable!
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I hate insects, they really bug me.
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Where Do Polar Bears Vote?
The North Poll!
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Why didn't the crab share it's toys?
It was too shellfish!
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Take away the hungry cat’s food?
You’ve got to be kitten.
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How do you tell the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
One you will see later, and the other after a while.
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French people like eating snails because they don't like fast foods.
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Robin's farm animals have great humor.
They are a laughing stock.
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Ducks don't watch movies.
They only like watching duck-umenteries.
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The teenage giraffe was called into the principal’s office for his bad grades.
They said his head was always in the clouds.
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What does a turtle need to ride a bike?
A shell-met.
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Giraffes are not exactly everyone's favorite pet.
They're just too high maintenance.
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The favorite genre of music for rabbits is the genre of hip-hop.
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What's a snake's favorite subject in school?
Hisssssstory.
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What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost.
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What does a one-legged turkey say?
Wobble wobble!
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How does a farmer count cows?
With a cow-culator.
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Why are most horses so slim?
Because they are on a stable diet!
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A man was hospitalized with 6 plastic horses inside him.
The doctor described his condition as stable!
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What did the llama’s mom say when it was leaving for college?
Alpaca your things.
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These giant squid jokes are kraken me up!
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What do you call a lizard that steals?
A crook-o-dile.
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There was once a chicken who could count her own eggs.
She was a mathemachicken.
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Cuddling a cat usually leaves you feline good.
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My friend was annoying me with bird puns but toucan play this game.
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Why didn't anyone believe the tiger?
Because they thought it was a lion!
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What did the dog say before he left for work?
Just another day at the paw-ffice!
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Some aquatic mammals at the zoo escaped.
It was otter chaos.
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How can you tell how much a reptile weighs?
You look at the scales.
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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
"Dam!"
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What do you get when you cross a fish with an elephant?
Swimming trunks!
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How long do chickens work?
Around the cluck!
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Why do birds fly south in the Fall?
Because it’s too far to walk.
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The office of monkeys doesn't fire anyone. They just transfer them to a different branch.
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When does a kitty want to be pet?
Right meow.
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What is the best response when you see a herd of deer?
Oh, dear.
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Why should you never play poker at the zoo?
Too many cheetahs.
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By shear coincidence, all these sheep look the same.
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Where was the lion most comfortable?
On the fur-niture.
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What kind of dog doesn’t bark?
A hush puppy.
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I'm so purrfect that whenever I meet a pretty girl, I whisker away.
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What did the goat say to the criminal?
You’re baaaaaaaad.
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Why did the barred owl have to go back to the computer store?
It kept eating its mouse.
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Why don’t dinosaurs talk?
Because they’re all dead.
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The duck was in rehab because he was a quackaddict.
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We call our dog Rolex, since he’s a watchdog.
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Which animal will you probably meet on Tinder?
A catfish!
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You get only a vegetable when you cross a sheepdog with daffodils—a collie-flower.
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Snakes that are found in cars are usually windshield vipers.
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You get a rocker spaniel when you cross a dog and a hammock.
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The best savory food to serve a dog who is running a temperature is mustard. Mustard goes really well with hot dogs.
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If we wrap a roll of wool around a kangaroo, we would get a woolly jumper.
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Sharks and computers have one very vital thing in common.
Both of them have megabites.
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Where Do Rabbits Eat Breakfast? IHOP
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What do you call a sad dog?
A melon-collie.
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Bears do not need arms - they fight with their bear hands.
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What do you call an over-caffeinated turkey?
A per-key!
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One animal was hoping to be king of the forest.
He had all the koalifications.
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Which day do chickens hate the most?
Friday.
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Do owls like jokes?
Sure, they think they’re a hoot.
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How does a walrus mail a letter?
He seals them with a kiss.
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The best way to communicate with fish is to drop them a line.
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Why isn’t the hen in charge?
It’s likely she’ll just pass the buckbuckbuckbuck.
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Why are elephants not kept indoors?
Look, no one wants to talk about that.
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What did the rodent say as he was leaving work?
"Wow, it's been a long day. I could really gopher a drink!"
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Where do sheep go on vacation?
The Baaaaaaahamas.
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Why is the bee's hair always sticky?
Because he uses a honeycomb!
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Pandas are fond of old movies as they are black and white.
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What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear!
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Never ask a cat to tell you stories.
They only have one tale.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can't tuna fish!
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What's a wolf's favorite holiday?
Howl-o-ween!
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A cat's favorite book is 'The Great Cat-sby'!
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The little bear turned out to be very spoiled and lazy as his mother always panda'd to his every need.
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The funny seal kept on laughing continuously at lame jokes until his friend reminded him that it was the seal-iest thing to do.
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Lion, who is the king of the jungle, usually greets other animals by saying, "Hey, nice eating you!"
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My cat has a favorite breakfast comprising mice Krispies and milk!
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Why did the poor dog chase his own tail?
He was trying to make both ends meet.
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How do fish stay so healthy?
Vitamin sea!
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A cow was toppled by a tornado. From that day onwards, the owner of the cow would only get milkshakes.
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Fishes are the most health-conscious animals. They have an inbuilt set of scales to keep a good watch of their weight.
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What did the baby elephant ask his mom before they left for vacation?
"Can I borrow a suitcase? I only have a little trunk."
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Even monkeys will sing if you gibbon the chance.
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Why do cows never have any money?
Because the farmers milk them dry!
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What do you call a reptile phoning a friend?
A crocodial.
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What do you call a bird that fights?
A taekwon-dodo.
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Why did the kangaroo stop drinking coffee?
She got too jumpy!
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Where are fish in orbit?
In trout-er space.
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Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
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What's the first thing you should do if a bull charges you?
Pay him!
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Why shouldn't you play basketball with a pig?
Because it'll hog the ball!
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What did the elephant want on its birthday?
A trunk filled with gifts.
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The serpents had finalized their deal.
They decided to snake on it.
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The crow is always bragging about his fortunes.
He makes sure to let everybody know the caw-st of being so successful.
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The owls are so supportive, they're always hooting for you!
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Giraffes are the worst managers.
They really can’t see eye-to-eye with their employees.
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There was a jungle party happening in the night. The monkeys agreed to bring the chimp and dip.
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Wild cats have the best teeth in the zoo because they fl-ocelot.
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If you want something done right, do it yourself. Best not leave it to salmon else.
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Pandas are so lazy, they only do the bear minimum.
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When panda bears rob banks, they always wear a pandana!
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What do you get if you cross a turtle with a giraffe and a kangaroo?
A turtle neck jumper.
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If whales were benevolent, they would be whale-wishers.
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I'm having a ruff day.
Don't terrier self up about it. There's sure to be a pawsitive outcome!
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I watched a documentary about beavers last night.
It was the best dam show ever!
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Hear about the disease birds give you if you kiss them?
It’s untweetable.
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What does a bee sit on?
Its bee-hind.
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When Noah was loading the ark, where did he put the bees?
In the ark-hives!
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Have you ever heard of an honest cheetah?
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Why did the bunny bang his head on the piano?
He was playing by ear!
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Why did the frog have to walk to work?
Her car was toad.
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Why is it so hard to ride a camel on the weekend?
You’ve got to get over the hump.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop.
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When I asked my dog how his day was he said it was rough.
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What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
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What happens when a sheep, a drum and a snake fall from a cliff.
BA DUM TS.
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How does the cat stop a video?
He presses the paws button.
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What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
A Thesaurus.
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What do you call a rabbit with fleas?
Bugs bunny.
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Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side!
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What did the fish say after proposing an idea to his boss?
"Let minnow what you think."
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The only result you get when you watch a couple of silkworms wrestle is a tie.
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Shepherds are really bad at counting numbers in mathematics. They always fall asleep while counting sheep.
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A very popular destination of vacation for cows is not Hawaii but Moo Zealand.
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The pony wanted to drink water as his throat was a little horse.
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An elephant renders an argument invalid by claiming it to be irr-elephant.
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If your dog eats only garlic, then his bark will be worse than his bite.
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An absolute favorite city for all dogs is New Yorkie.
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Why was the bird sad?
Because he's a bluebird.
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What's a dog's favorite movie?
Harry Paw-ter and the Sorcerer's Bone.
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What did the dolphin say when he was confused?
"Sorry, can you please be more Pacific?"
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The bear wanted to eat honey and fish, so he visited a restaurant. But he soon, angrily walked out as food there was un-bear-able.
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The tiger claimed that he climbed the biggest mountain in the forest.
No one believed the tiger as they thought he was lion!
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Cows that make up the bovine population in the Arctics are of a different breed.
They are eski-moos.
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Bowling is a beloved sport only for an alley cat and not a house cat.
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The lamb reached the wrong place while driving as he missed the ewe turn.
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There are only a few ants that are larger than an elephant. This is because they are a couple of gi-ants.
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The frog's car broke down in the middle of the road.
It had to be toad away.
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Whenever a cat goes to a party, he becomes delighted when he hears the song 'Three Blind Mice'!
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The alpaca returned home and asked his wife to get ready as they were leaving for a vacation. He said, "you get ready asap, alpaca your luggage".
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A corg-key is a bad dog as he only picks locks.
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What's so special about your deer?
I have no-eye-deer!
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Why did the pelican get banned from the restaurant?
He had a big bill and tried to get out of paying.
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Why did Mozart end up getting rid of his chickens?
Because they kept saying "bach bach!"
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Why did the eagle get arrested for stealing from the doctor?
It was ill-eagle.
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What kind of ducks steal soap from the bath?
Robber ducks!
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The favorite color of cats is not red but purrrrrrr-ple.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bull-dozer.
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An utterly confused moose usually exclaims by saying, "I have absolutely no i-deer".
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If there was ever a jumping contest, then a kangaroo would easily jump higher than the Burj Khalifa. Kangaroos can jump, buildings can't!
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Once, 1000 hares were running loose at the city junction. The police went to see the situation and combed the entire area to capture them.
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A bunch of sheep was acting crazy on the ranch.
You see, it was shear madness!
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Bees become very dangerous when they start eating human brains.
They become little zombees.
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What did the horse say when it fell?
“I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!”
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Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don't work.
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What did the judge say when the skunk came into his courtroom?
“Odor in the court!”
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Why did the cowboy buy a dachshund?
Someone told him to get a long little doggy.
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What is a goat’s favorite rom-com?
You’ve goat mail.
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What is a snake’s favorite childhood game?
Hide and sneak.
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A rancher was persuaded to cross-breed his cattle with hyenas.
It was a disaster. The offspring were the laughing stock of the community!
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What’s the difference between bird flu and swine flu?
One requires tweetment and the other requires oinkment.
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Why did the whale cross the street?
To get to the other tide.
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How much money does a skunk have?
One scent!
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You would think that taking off a snail's shell would make it move faster, but it actually just makes it more sluggish.
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The leopard got caught by the police after the robbery.
He was so easy to spot!
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Thank ewe for being so kind to the animals at the petting zoo.
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What do you call a seagull that knows martial arts?
Steven Seagull
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The lion woke up with a big smile on his face.
It was his favorite day of the week, Chewsday!
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Pelicans can do anything - it's called pelican, not pelican't.
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Snakes are only measured in inches - they don't have feet.
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Primates can go grab a drink - at the monkey bar!
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People flocked around the cute lion cubs in the enclosure. They were the mane attraction at the zoo.
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Why couldn't the chicken find her eggs?
Because she mislaid them.
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Pig puns are so boaring.
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What do you call an angry monkey?
Furious George.
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What do you give a dog with a fever?
Mustard is the best thing for a hot dog.
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Why won’t a clam share?
I don’t know. I asked them but they just clam up.
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A bear was killing moose for entertainment but in the end he wasn't amoosed.
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What did the elephant say when he stopped in the middle of telling a story?
"Never mind, I realize this is irrelephant."
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I was going to tell you some animal puns about pigs… But they're a little boaring.
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The best way to greet a toad is by addressing it as, "Wart's new?"
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Spiders are very tech-savvy animals.
They communicate with each other using the World Wide Web.
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If there were 20 cats on a bus and suddenly one cat jumps out of the window. Seeing that, every single cat will jump out, and there will be not one cat left on the bus as they are all copycats.
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Why are dogs like phones?
Because they have collar IDs.
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What do you call a horse that lives next door?
A neigh-bor.
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What do you get when you cross a snake with a tasty dessert?
A pie-thon!
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What kind of math do owls like?
Owlgebra.
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All monkeys have a favorite month of the year.
It’s Ape-ril.
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You can make a makeshift telephone in the wild with toucans and a string.
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What is the best way to cook a gator?
In a crock-pot.
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You goata be kidding me!
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