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In a world full of mediocre jokes and hackneyed puns, there’s one category that’ll never get banal. Yup, it’s animal puns! And how could it ever get boring if there are around 8.7 million animal species on our planet, and a funny pun must be appointed to each of them! And, although Screaming Hairy Armadillo or Paradoxical Frog already sounds like the beginnings of a clever pun, those are actual animal names, and we’re not here to make fun of them. So instead, check out our list of these peachy animal puns; there are so many, you could use a different one each day for the better part of the year!

Starting with such classics as an alligator in a vest and a definition of Hamsterdam to such wild ones as season’s greetings from a llama, this list covers all of the most popular animal species, celebrations, day-to-day happenings, and many more. Theoretically, you could make a DIY table calendar with a hilarious pun selected for each of the upcoming festivities, for instance, National Badger Day or National Lemon Cream Pie Day. Both are very real, and you can definitely commemorate them with a unique pun or two. 

By now, you know what comes next - our directions for you to scroll on down below to reveal the awesome puns that we’ve gathered! After you’ve tamed your giggles, be sure to vote for the most hilarious puns, and don’t be shy to share this article, dedicated to animal puns, with your friends. You might even start your own monthly or weekly celebration - a Share A Pun Day!

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    #2

    What did the buffalo say when his son left home?

    Bison.

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    #4

    Elephants are absolutely banned in public pools. You see, this is because they have a very bad habit of dropping their trunks.

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    #5

    What's a cow eating grass?

    A lawn mooer.

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    #6

    Sharks love swimming only in saltwater.

    They don't like pepper water as it makes them sneeze a lot.

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    #7

    Why did the bunny eat the wedding ring?

    Because he heard it was 24 carrots.

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    #10

    Long fairy tales have a tendency to dragon.

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    #11

    What do you call a lazy kangaroo?

    A pouch potato.

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    #12

    What city has the largest rodent population?

    Hamsterdam.

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    #13

    Why do cows have hooves?

    Because they lactose.

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    TheAnimalLady
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Upvoted bc it's funny... But did you know that all hooved animals ARE walking "on their toes"? As are Elephants 🐘🦣🐄🐂🦓🐎

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    #14

    Why did the leopard hate playing Hide and Seek?

    Because he was always spotted!

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    #15

    How did Noah see all the animals on the ark at night?

    A flood light.

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    #16

    What sound do porcupines make when they kiss?

    Ouch!

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    #17

    Can a bear dance?

    Yes, but just barely.

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    #18

    What do you call a fish with no eyes?

    A fsh.

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    Kookamunga
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's great. I'm going to read all these puns just for the halibut.

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    #19

    Why was the dog overwhelmed?

    Because today was ruff.

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    #20

    What was said during the feline couple's argument?

    "You're such a cheetah!"

    "No, you're lion!"

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    #21

    What do you call a ghost chicken?

    A poultry-geist.

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    TheAnimalLady
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    🏃🏃🏃I'd call it "Aaarrghh!!!" as I ran away 👻🐔👻

    #22

    Why do cows wear bells?

    Because their horns don't work!

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    HuggyWuggy910
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    *honk honk* they work just fine... oh wait that's a goose nevermind

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    #23

    What did the hawk say when he fell off the branch?

    "Well, this is hawkward."

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    #24

    What do llama’s say during the holiday season?

    Fleece navidad!

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    #26

    A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was ticketed for littering.

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    #27

    What do you call an explosive monkey?

    A ba-boom.

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    #28

    What did the pony say when he had a sore throat?

    "Do you have any water? I'm a little horse."

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    #29

    How can you make an octopus laugh?

    You give it ten-tickles!

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    #30

    What did the cat and dog sing together at karaoke night?

    "Don't stop retrieving… hold on to that feline!"

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    #31

    What do you call an alligator with a vest?

    Invest-igator.

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    #32

    What do you call birds that stick together?

    Velcrows!

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    TheAnimalLady
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    🙊Some are funny😹 A flock, flight, brace or volery (in general) and... Ducks= raft, brace, paddling, badling. Crows= murder, horde, congress. Doves= bevy, cote, flight. Cranes= herd, sedge. Eagles= aerie, congregation, convocation. Chickens= brood, clutch, peep. Emus=mob. Parrots= company. Woodpeckers= descent. Starlings= murmuration. Ravens= unkindness. Buzzards= a wake. Flamingoes=a stand. Jays= party, scold. Owls= parliament. Turkeys= gang, rafter.

    #33

    Why was the dolphin was sorry?

    It didn’t do it on porpoise.

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    #34

    I've got a chicken-proof front lawn.

    It's impeccable!

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    #35

    I hate insects, they really bug me.

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    #37

    Why didn't the crab share it's toys?

    It was too shellfish!

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    #38

    Take away the hungry cat’s food?

    You’ve got to be kitten.

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    #39

    How do you tell the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?

    One you will see later, and the other after a while.

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    TheAnimalLady
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I look at the nose..."A" shaped is crocodiles and "C" shaped is alligators. (Thus "A" for the C's and "C" for the A's.)

    #40

    French people like eating snails because they don't like fast foods.

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    TheAnimalLady
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    TIL...Frogs actually eat snails 🐌 (I didn't think they would because of the shells).

    #41

    Robin's farm animals have great humor.

    They are a laughing stock.

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    TheAnimalLady
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    🦃Then turkeys are a must because when you laugh, they join in🦃

    #42

    Ducks don't watch movies.

    They only like watching duck-umenteries.

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    #43

    The teenage giraffe was called into the principal’s office for his bad grades.

    They said his head was always in the clouds.

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    #44

    What does a turtle need to ride a bike?

    A shell-met.

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    #45

    Giraffes are not exactly everyone's favorite pet.

    They're just too high maintenance.

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    #46

    The favorite genre of music for rabbits is the genre of hip-hop.

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    #47

    What's a snake's favorite subject in school?

    Hisssssstory.

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    #48

    What do you call a penguin in the desert?

    Lost.

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    TheAnimalLady
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    🐧Humboldts live in desert landscapes in Chile and Peru, Jackass penguins in Namibia and South African desert area🐧

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    #49

    What does a one-legged turkey say?

    Wobble wobble!

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    #50

    How does a farmer count cows?

    With a cow-culator.

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    #51

    Why are most horses so slim?

    Because they are on a stable diet!

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    #52

    A man was hospitalized with 6 plastic horses inside him.

    The doctor described his condition as stable!

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    #53

    What did the llama’s mom say when it was leaving for college?

    Alpaca your things.

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    #54

    These giant squid jokes are kraken me up!

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    #55

    What do you call a lizard that steals?

    A crook-o-dile.

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    #56

    There was once a chicken who could count her own eggs.

    She was a mathemachicken.

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    #57

    Cuddling a cat usually leaves you feline good.

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    #58

    My friend was annoying me with bird puns but toucan play this game.

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    #59

    Why didn't anyone believe the tiger?

    Because they thought it was a lion!

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    #60

    What did the dog say before he left for work?

    Just another day at the paw-ffice!

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    #61

    Some aquatic mammals at the zoo escaped.

    It was otter chaos.

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    #62

    How can you tell how much a reptile weighs?

    You look at the scales.

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    #63

    What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?

    "Dam!"

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    #64

    What do you get when you cross a fish with an elephant?

    Swimming trunks!

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    #65

    How long do chickens work?

    Around the cluck!

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    #66

    Why do birds fly south in the Fall?

    Because it’s too far to walk.

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    #67

    The office of monkeys doesn't fire anyone. They just transfer them to a different branch.

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    #68

    When does a kitty want to be pet?

    Right meow.

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    #69

    What is the best response when you see a herd of deer?

    Oh, dear.

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    #70

    Why should you never play poker at the zoo?

    Too many cheetahs.

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    #71

    By shear coincidence, all these sheep look the same.

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    #72

    Where was the lion most comfortable?

    On the fur-niture.

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    #73

    What kind of dog doesn’t bark?

    A hush puppy.

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    #74

    I'm so purrfect that whenever I meet a pretty girl, I whisker away.

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    #75

    What did the goat say to the criminal?

    You’re baaaaaaaad.

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    #76

    Why did the barred owl have to go back to the computer store?

    It kept eating its mouse.

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    #77

    Why don’t dinosaurs talk?

    Because they’re all dead.

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    #78

    The duck was in rehab because he was a quackaddict.

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    #79

    We call our dog Rolex, since he’s a watchdog.

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    #80

    Which animal will you probably meet on Tinder?

    A catfish!

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    #81

    You get only a vegetable when you cross a sheepdog with daffodils—a collie-flower.

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    #82

    Snakes that are found in cars are usually windshield vipers.

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    #83

    You get a rocker spaniel when you cross a dog and a hammock.

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    #84

    The best savory food to serve a dog who is running a temperature is mustard. Mustard goes really well with hot dogs.

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    #85

    If we wrap a roll of wool around a kangaroo, we would get a woolly jumper.

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    #86

    Sharks and computers have one very vital thing in common.

    Both of them have megabites.

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    #87

    Where Do Rabbits Eat Breakfast? IHOP

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    #88

    What do you call a sad dog?

    A melon-collie.

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    #89

    Bears do not need arms - they fight with their bear hands.

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    #90

    What do you call an over-caffeinated turkey?

    A per-key!

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    #91

    One animal was hoping to be king of the forest.

    He had all the koalifications.

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    #93

    Do owls like jokes?

    Sure, they think they’re a hoot.

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    #94

    How does a walrus mail a letter?

    He seals them with a kiss.

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    #95

    The best way to communicate with fish is to drop them a line.

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    #96

    Why isn’t the hen in charge?

    It’s likely she’ll just pass the buckbuckbuckbuck.

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    #97

    Why are elephants not kept indoors?

    Look, no one wants to talk about that.

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    #98

    What did the rodent say as he was leaving work?

    "Wow, it's been a long day. I could really gopher a drink!"

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    #99

    Where do sheep go on vacation?

    The Baaaaaaahamas.

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    #100

    Why is the bee's hair always sticky?

    Because he uses a honeycomb!

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    #101

    Pandas are fond of old movies as they are black and white.

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    #102

    What do you call a bear with no teeth?

    A gummy bear!

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    #103

    Never ask a cat to tell you stories.

    They only have one tale.

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    #104

    What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

    You can't tuna fish!

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    #105

    What's a wolf's favorite holiday?

    Howl-o-ween!

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    #106

    A cat's favorite book is 'The Great Cat-sby'!

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    #107

    The little bear turned out to be very spoiled and lazy as his mother always panda'd to his every need.

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    #108

    The funny seal kept on laughing continuously at lame jokes until his friend reminded him that it was the seal-iest thing to do.

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    #109

    Lion, who is the king of the jungle, usually greets other animals by saying, "Hey, nice eating you!"

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    Gin. No tonic
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And then everyone gets Hide-and-Seeking. But leopard is always spotted.

    #110

    My cat has a favorite breakfast comprising mice Krispies and milk!

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    #111

    Why did the poor dog chase his own tail?

    He was trying to make both ends meet.

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    #112

    How do fish stay so healthy?

    Vitamin sea!

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    #113

    A cow was toppled by a tornado. From that day onwards, the owner of the cow would only get milkshakes.

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    #114

    Fishes are the most health-conscious animals. They have an inbuilt set of scales to keep a good watch of their weight.

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    #115

    What did the baby elephant ask his mom before they left for vacation?

    "Can I borrow a suitcase? I only have a little trunk."

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    #116

    Even monkeys will sing if you gibbon the chance.

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    #117

    Why do cows never have any money?

    Because the farmers milk them dry!

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    #118

    What do you call a reptile phoning a friend?

    A crocodial.

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    #119

    What do you call a bird that fights?

    A taekwon-dodo.

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    #120

    Why did the kangaroo stop drinking coffee?

    She got too jumpy!

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    #121

    Where are fish in orbit?

    In trout-er space.

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    #122

    Where do shellfish go to borrow money?

    The prawn broker.

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    #123

    What's the first thing you should do if a bull charges you?

    Pay him!

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    #124

    Why shouldn't you play basketball with a pig?

    Because it'll hog the ball!

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    #125

    What did the elephant want on its birthday?

    A trunk filled with gifts.

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    #126

    The serpents had finalized their deal.

    They decided to snake on it.

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    #127

    The crow is always bragging about his fortunes.

    He makes sure to let everybody know the caw-st of being so successful.

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    #128

    The owls are so supportive, they're always hooting for you!

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    #129

    Giraffes are the worst managers.

    They really can’t see eye-to-eye with their employees.

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    #130

    There was a jungle party happening in the night. The monkeys agreed to bring the chimp and dip.

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    #131

    Wild cats have the best teeth in the zoo because they fl-ocelot.

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    #132

    If you want something done right, do it yourself. Best not leave it to salmon else.

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    #133

    Pandas are so lazy, they only do the bear minimum.

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    #134

    When panda bears rob banks, they always wear a pandana!

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    #135

    What do you get if you cross a turtle with a giraffe and a kangaroo?

    A turtle neck jumper.

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    #136

    If whales were benevolent, they would be whale-wishers.

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    #137

    I'm having a ruff day.

    Don't terrier self up about it. There's sure to be a pawsitive outcome!

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    #138

    I watched a documentary about beavers last night.

    It was the best dam show ever!

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    #139

    Hear about the disease birds give you if you kiss them?

    It’s untweetable.

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    #140

    What does a bee sit on?

    Its bee-hind.

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    #141

    When Noah was loading the ark, where did he put the bees?

    In the ark-hives!

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    #142

    Have you ever heard of an honest cheetah?

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    #143

    Why did the bunny bang his head on the piano?

    He was playing by ear!

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    #144

    Why did the frog have to walk to work?

    Her car was toad.

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    #145

    Why is it so hard to ride a camel on the weekend?

    You’ve got to get over the hump.

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    #146

    What do you call a pig that does karate?

    A pork chop.

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    #147

    When I asked my dog how his day was he said it was rough.

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    #148

    What do you call a cow with two legs?

    Lean beef.

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    #149

    What happens when a sheep, a drum and a snake fall from a cliff.

    BA DUM TS.

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    #150

    How does the cat stop a video?

    He presses the paws button.

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    #151

    What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?

    A Thesaurus.

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    #152

    What do you call a rabbit with fleas?

    Bugs bunny.

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    #153

    Why did the cow cross the road?

    To get to the udder side!

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    #154

    What did the fish say after proposing an idea to his boss?

    "Let minnow what you think."

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    #155

    The only result you get when you watch a couple of silkworms wrestle is a tie.

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    #156

    Shepherds are really bad at counting numbers in mathematics. They always fall asleep while counting sheep.

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    #157

    A very popular destination of vacation for cows is not Hawaii but Moo Zealand.

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    #158

    The pony wanted to drink water as his throat was a little horse.

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    #159

    An elephant renders an argument invalid by claiming it to be irr-elephant.

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    #160

    If your dog eats only garlic, then his bark will be worse than his bite.

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    #161

    An absolute favorite city for all dogs is New Yorkie.

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    #162

    Why was the bird sad?

    Because he's a bluebird.

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    #163

    What's a dog's favorite movie?

    Harry Paw-ter and the Sorcerer's Bone.

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    #164

    What did the dolphin say when he was confused?

    "Sorry, can you please be more Pacific?"

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    #165

    The bear wanted to eat honey and fish, so he visited a restaurant. But he soon, angrily walked out as food there was un-bear-able.

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