Woman Keeps Parenting Others’ Kids, Friend Kicks Her Out After She Refused To Give Her Baby Back
Perhaps any parent will agree that if they have someone in their life with experience in caring for children, and at the same time showing a clear desire to help, it seems like a real blessing. For example, when grandparents are actively involved in the raising process. Or, let’s say, friends.
However, any help has its limits – especially when it is provided almost against the wishes of the parents. The user u/Fair-Bee-4149, the author of our today’s story, was faced with a similar situation with her friend – and, let’s be honest, the mom was lucky that everything ended well for her and the baby. However, let’s not get ahead of ourselves.
More info: Reddit
The author of the post is a member of a friend group of 5 women who have known each other since childhood
Image credits: Yan Krukau (not the actual photo)
All the women except one of them have kids and the only one who hasn’t has been working at a day care center for a decade or so
Image credits: u/Fair-Bee-4149
This woman, “Emily”, tends to actively offer her help in parenting, and sometimes blames the moms for their “mistakes”
Image credits: Anna Shvets (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/Fair-Bee-4149
Recently Emily even refused to return the author’s crying baby to his mom – and gave up only after realizing she couldn’t do anything there
Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/Fair-Bee-4149
The last straw was when Emily literally attempted to “kidnap” the author’s baby – and the police got involved to bring the kid back
So, the Original Poster (OP) has a friend group of five women (including the author) who have been friends since school days, when they were all 13 years old. Now, almost two decades later, four out of five women have families and kids. All except “Emily,” almost all of whose relationships, as the author recalls, lasted no more than a couple of weeks.
But “auntie Emily” has always willingly helped her friends in taking care of their children, because she has worked in a day care center for more than ten years and, of course, has vast experience. Moreover, sometimes Emily couldn’t resist reprimanding her friends because of what she considered “wrong” parenting. Her friends were tolerant of this, not wanting to offend her. Well, to be honest, Emily’s advice was often quite reasonable.
That all changed recently when the original poster was nursing her baby son during a friendly gathering and Emily took the baby to hold. At some point, the tot began to cry, and the mother realized that he wanted to eat. She told her friend to give her the child – but Emily was not giving up that easily!
Emily, according to the OP, would sometimes tell the elder children something like: “Don’t listen to mom, auntie Emily knows better!” and now she simply didn’t give the baby to the author, showing with all her appearance that she would now cope with the problem. But the baby didn’t let up, and the mother, seething, still restrained herself so as not to yell at her friend.
And only later, when Emily finally returned the child (he, having received what he wanted, immediately calmed down), the original poster told the friend everything she thought about her behavior. Of all the possible reaction options, Emily chose to take offense and left shortly after.
You think that’s the end of it? No! The original poster was tormented by remorse, and decided after some time to meet with Emily and try to explain to her the reason for such an aggressive reaction. So they did, and there was another friend with them. But Emily flatly refused to admit any guilt and, on the contrary, made the OP and the rest of her friends look guilty.
Image credits: Rosemary Ketchum (not the actual photo)
You think that’s the end of the tale? Not even close. From here, our story takes on a completely detective twist. After some time, the OP, her kids and husband went to visit mutual friends, and there were a lot of people there, including Emily. At some point, the author and her spouse left the baby in his pram in the care of other friends.
These were people who the OP and her husband trusted completely in terms of caring for the kid, but who were not aware of their changed relationship with Emily. Therefore, when she came up and took the pram, saying that the parents had asked her to take the child for a walk, this didn’t arouse any suspicion.
When the parents discovered no Emily or the baby around, the author’s husband then called the police. And after some time, the baby was back in his mother’s arms, and Emily was sitting in the back seat of a police car, screaming and banging the door window. The police officer said that Emily had told them the same story – that the parents asked her to take a walk with the baby…
Well, now Emily is facing charges of kidnapping, and the original poster seems to have only now begun to realize that she very likely dodged a bullet in relation to her “friend” and her baby. “What I do know is that she won’t be working with kids anymore, which is a relief,” the woman finishes her story.
Image credits: Artur Voznenko (not the actual photo)
“To be honest, when I started reading this story, I thought that the question would simply be how ethical was the mother’s reaction when her friend didn’t return her crying baby,” says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, whom Bored Panda asked for a comment here. “But further updates showed that the problem seems to be much deeper and more serious. Who knows what would have happened if the police had not arrived in time and returned the baby to the mom?”
“In any case, it seems to me that this woman’s friend has some kind of mental problems associated with the children of her friends. But be that as it may, any help is only good when it’s really asked for. And this applies to parenting, probably to the greatest extent,” Irina summarizes.
Most commenters on the original post also believe that the author didn’t do anything critically offensive towards her now-former friend, and that she, on the contrary, was incredibly tolerant towards Emily’s behavior for quite a long time. “You. Don’t. Come. Between. A. Mother. And. Her. Child.” one of the commenters expressed the people’s general belief.
Also, people in the comments suppose that Emily really has some mental complexes over children and motherhood. “She sounds like a very unhappy woman who has been filling a void in her life with other people’s children. Obviously some therapy wouldn’t be amiss either…” another commenter concluded. And do you, our dear readers, also agree with this interpretation of the situation?
People in the comments agreed that the mom’s behavior towards Emily was justified, and that her “friend” could actually have some mental problems connected with parenting
Poll Question
Thanks! Check out the results:
Emily insists she can soothe the newborn? "Unless you can start lactating on demand, he's not going to stop crying."
It stood out at me, too, that she seemed to have no clue that babies also need to eat.
Load More Replies...Thing is, a child will always acting differently with a parent to a regular carer. She may be the best child minder / nanny / daycare person out there, but I bet she would face issues she's never experienced should she have her own child. Either way, whether she thinks they're wrong or right she needs to let her friends parent. There is a line.
My friend's son (whom I call my nephew) always tries to push borders with his mum (typical for little kids 🤣). She tells him to stop doing something and he'll look at her, grin and continue until she's had enough and he knows he's reached his limit. He tried the same thing with me when she left to go to the bathroom, and I told him "to stop that, NOW." He stopped. But that's because I'm not his mum and he isn't used to me using that tone of voice on him, as I'm usually the funny one. My friend found it hilarious when she got back. I used the same tone of voice I use on misbehaving dogs 😅. I don't yell, just deepen the voice a bit and speak with CAPITAL LETTERS.
Load More Replies...Emily is a narcissist, and still a child inside, no matter what adult responsibilities she is capable of. Mentally and emotionally in personal situations, she is a child.
No, she is not a child herself, just a narcissist and a BIG one.
Load More Replies...Read the updates. Emily is in jail for kidnapping and child endangerment.
I have a hunch Emily secretly very much wants to be a mom, but can't, for whatever reason. Also, she sucks.
This is my thoughts. It's annoying to see people be like "she's a narc!" Not everyone is a narc, but some people are crazy in other ways. I can imagine if I was in Emily's shoes. She has a job working with kids, all her friends have kids, she knows and has trained for kids for years... but she's the only one who can't seem to land a man out of the friend group. Now her friends all have kids, getting older and you're the last, with another friend still having a young baby. Maybe it's the only chance you'll have to impact a child in a meaningful way. And then she took it too far, and ended up in a delusion. Trying to keep a child from their parent after they've been requested back is wrong in any situation. I hope Emily sees a therapist, because a baby won't fix the way she feels.
Load More Replies...Someone who isn’t capable of understanding boundaries is not allowed to hold my child. A super clingy 20 something girl my mom made friends with at church would demand to hold my baby and after a couple times it took me asking repeatedly for my baby back I started refusing her. So she would wait till I handed the baby to my mom and then within 60 seconds go “my turn!” And grab the baby out of my mom’s arms. I told my mom if she didn’t tell her no then she also wouldn’t be allowed to hold my daughter around that woman. Between hormones and legitimate concerns about this woman’s mental state I had horrible anxiety until my child was returned. It’s an incredibly panicked feeling when your child is being withheld, even for a minute, against your will.
I can’t be the only one who reads this thinking of nothing but Lacey Spears… She was acting just like Emily up until she finally had her own child. The public displays of child care superiority means that she hungry for attention and validation. If she manages to have her own baby some day, she will probably up the ante on her desperation for attention and adoration for her saintliness. And….then you have munchausen by proxy syndrome and a child in a cycle of abuse and grave danger. Maybe I am too into true crime though…
I thought this was going to be annoying advice like, "oh have you tried this and that?" Literally telling a kid not to listen to their mom and refusing to hand over a baby is way too far. Not even a question of OP being an a*****e.
Emily insists she can soothe the newborn? "Unless you can start lactating on demand, he's not going to stop crying."
It stood out at me, too, that she seemed to have no clue that babies also need to eat.
Load More Replies...Thing is, a child will always acting differently with a parent to a regular carer. She may be the best child minder / nanny / daycare person out there, but I bet she would face issues she's never experienced should she have her own child. Either way, whether she thinks they're wrong or right she needs to let her friends parent. There is a line.
My friend's son (whom I call my nephew) always tries to push borders with his mum (typical for little kids 🤣). She tells him to stop doing something and he'll look at her, grin and continue until she's had enough and he knows he's reached his limit. He tried the same thing with me when she left to go to the bathroom, and I told him "to stop that, NOW." He stopped. But that's because I'm not his mum and he isn't used to me using that tone of voice on him, as I'm usually the funny one. My friend found it hilarious when she got back. I used the same tone of voice I use on misbehaving dogs 😅. I don't yell, just deepen the voice a bit and speak with CAPITAL LETTERS.
Load More Replies...Emily is a narcissist, and still a child inside, no matter what adult responsibilities she is capable of. Mentally and emotionally in personal situations, she is a child.
No, she is not a child herself, just a narcissist and a BIG one.
Load More Replies...Read the updates. Emily is in jail for kidnapping and child endangerment.
I have a hunch Emily secretly very much wants to be a mom, but can't, for whatever reason. Also, she sucks.
This is my thoughts. It's annoying to see people be like "she's a narc!" Not everyone is a narc, but some people are crazy in other ways. I can imagine if I was in Emily's shoes. She has a job working with kids, all her friends have kids, she knows and has trained for kids for years... but she's the only one who can't seem to land a man out of the friend group. Now her friends all have kids, getting older and you're the last, with another friend still having a young baby. Maybe it's the only chance you'll have to impact a child in a meaningful way. And then she took it too far, and ended up in a delusion. Trying to keep a child from their parent after they've been requested back is wrong in any situation. I hope Emily sees a therapist, because a baby won't fix the way she feels.
Load More Replies...Someone who isn’t capable of understanding boundaries is not allowed to hold my child. A super clingy 20 something girl my mom made friends with at church would demand to hold my baby and after a couple times it took me asking repeatedly for my baby back I started refusing her. So she would wait till I handed the baby to my mom and then within 60 seconds go “my turn!” And grab the baby out of my mom’s arms. I told my mom if she didn’t tell her no then she also wouldn’t be allowed to hold my daughter around that woman. Between hormones and legitimate concerns about this woman’s mental state I had horrible anxiety until my child was returned. It’s an incredibly panicked feeling when your child is being withheld, even for a minute, against your will.
I can’t be the only one who reads this thinking of nothing but Lacey Spears… She was acting just like Emily up until she finally had her own child. The public displays of child care superiority means that she hungry for attention and validation. If she manages to have her own baby some day, she will probably up the ante on her desperation for attention and adoration for her saintliness. And….then you have munchausen by proxy syndrome and a child in a cycle of abuse and grave danger. Maybe I am too into true crime though…
I thought this was going to be annoying advice like, "oh have you tried this and that?" Literally telling a kid not to listen to their mom and refusing to hand over a baby is way too far. Not even a question of OP being an a*****e.





































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