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Man Hosts Niece For Free, Asks For One Favor, She Leaves In Rage And Gets Sent A Hotel Bill
Should you pay a family member to babysit your child or is helping out just part of being family?
For some, the answer is a firm yes or no. For others, it depends on the situation.
In this case, a man hosted his niece while she was in town for a concert, covering her accommodation, food, and travel expenses. But when an emergency came up, he asked if she could watch his autistic son for a few hours. She agreed—then demanded $100 afterward.
He refused to give her the money, and now he’s wondering: was he in the wrong? Read the full story below.
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The man asked his niece to babysit his autistic son for a few hours during an emergency
Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)
She asked for $100 in return, but he refused, and now he’s wondering if he was in the wrong
Image credits: freepik EyeEm (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Stockbusters (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Top_Isopod_7011
Almost 30% of friends, family, or neighbors don’t get paid for babysitting
Image credits: shurkin_son (not the actual photo)
As a parent, choosing who will babysit your child is a big decision. You’re trusting someone to care for your child, keep them safe, and handle any needs that come up.
That’s why many parents turn to people they already know—friends, relatives, or neighbors. With someone close to the family, you often don’t have to worry about formalities or payment. In fact, many are happy to help simply as a favor.
A study by the Center for the Study of Child Care Employment (CSCCE) found that around 28% of friends, family, or neighbors, often referred to as FFN caregivers, don’t receive any payment at all for the care they provide.
For those who do pay, the average is around $160 per week. In comparison, families who hire a nanny typically pay $430 per week.
To some, not paying someone for something as important as childcare may seem strange. But Lizzie Post, co-president of the Emily Post Institute and co-author of Emily Post’s Etiquette, The Centennial Edition, says it’s understandable and often the only option for some families.
“Providing relief by taking care of someone’s kids for free can be monumental for young families, but the reality is that some people can’t afford to,” she tells Scary Mommy.
Post, who isn’t a parent herself, lives just five houses down from her nieces and nephews and babysits them regularly. For her, it’s not a chore, it’s something she genuinely enjoys.
“It’s time I offer them, so I don’t charge for it,” she says. At the same time, she admits she’d prefer taking her sister’s kids on a fun afternoon outing over staying in with them while their parents go out on a Saturday night.
“It depends on what works for you and your family,” she concludes.
Still, even if a family can’t afford to pay a regular babysitting rate, that doesn’t mean they can’t offer something else in return.
Image credits: zinkevych (not the actual photo)
The CSCCE also found that about 48% of families using FFN care provide nonmonetary compensation, as do 60% of families using nannies. These can be given in addition to or instead of cash, often in the form of supplies, transportation help, or small thoughtful gifts.
Post suggests simple but meaningful gestures, like a $50 gift card to your mom’s favorite salon in exchange for babysitting that would have otherwise cost $100. Covering meals during their time with your kids is another easy way to show appreciation.
And if even that’s out of reach, she recommends honesty: “Things are tough for me right now, and I could really use some relief.”
Regardless of your budget, Post emphasizes that it’s always good etiquette to make things easier for a family member who’s watching your child. That includes sending your kid with snacks, diapers, toys, or a planned activity, whenever possible.
Also, don’t feel obligated to reimburse relatives for meals or extras they voluntarily choose to give your child during their time together.
“It’s on them,” Post says, adding that these expectations are best discussed in advance, especially if a relative might take the child out for lunch or an activity. In those cases, you can always offer some cash ahead of time.
Of course, emergencies, like in the story above, are a different matter. Every babysitting situation is unique. But the best approach is usually one grounded in understanding, honesty, and the idea of family as a village.
Because let’s face it: it’s hard out there. And sometimes, even small gestures of help can make a big difference.
Most readers sided with the man, saying that given the circumstances, he was right not to pay
One person, however, felt the niece still deserved some form of compensation
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barbara Nivens 5 months ago
Never do anything for her and your brother again. "I'll deduct the $100 from the cost of feeding you, transportation and concert ticket.". And making the bed is "sexist?" She has no manners. And will never understand why people don't invite her back. Definitely don't pay for the hote. 🤦
Tabitha 5 months ago
I was just going to say that OP should go 100% no contact with them. Bro and niece basically just severed their last connection to the family by trying to screw over the only relative left who would talk to them. From now on they’ll be stuck having to find new strangers to treat that way, and it will be a never ending line of them, because strangers don’t let you cheat them more than once, if at all, before they too go 100% no contact.
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Dog Mom to Zoe 5 months ago
I'm Puerto Rican and this doesn't sound anything of what our culture would do. We help. Niece seems to be influence by someone, something. Sad that she was such an @$$, especially in an emergency.
tori Ohno 5 months ago
I call BS on this story. There's no way that the vet could diagnose an "allergy to her perfume" without an allergy patch test. That, and the "I didn't make her throw it away" is nonsense. You tell (or ask) someone to not wear it in your house, you don't steal it and throw it away. This whole thing doesn't make any sense.
K Barnes 5 months ago
A vet could make the deduction that the cat was having an allergic reaction to something, then presume that perhaps it was due to the new perfume, but no- they couldn't diagnose an allergy to a perfume they don't have a sample of in one visit. They could only make a guess.
Load More Replies...
Fellfromthemoon 5 months ago
So, this is the case when they removed the 19-year-old 'child' from OP's home, as the cat was allergic to her.
spacer 5 months ago
im also child free by choice but would babysit an 11 year old during an emergency. that girl is entitled, taking so much and never giving anything back.
Nova Rook 5 months ago
I was child free when I was 12 and always babysat my little sister (who would have been 2). This was a little unusual around my friends but not shocking.
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Binky Melnik 5 months ago
I understood the $100 was for being asked not to wear her poisonous perfume! As soon as she opened her mouth about the money, I’d have said, “Well, you caused the $1000 vet visit, and your room, board, transportation, maid service, and concert ticket add up to $750, for a total of $1750. I’ll deduct the $100 from the total, so you only owe me $1650. Pay me right now or pack up your s**t and be gone in five minutes, and then I want never to hear from you and your dad for the rest of my life.” Then he, son, and cat can get back to important things like mourning the loss of the wife. (Poor man! As if life isn’t hard enough right now, he has two clueless ingrates making things harder by an order of magnitude! 🤬🤬🤬 🔪 🙎🏽♀️
Load More Replies...
Mark Childers 5 months ago
I think this guy needs to join the rest of his family and go no or low contact with the brother and the niece. They don't seem very appreciative or kind towards the brother. I don't have kids because I don't like them. In my sibling's emergency, especially for a kid who seems pretty okay to be left alone, I would have done it in a heartbeat without a thought. I hope the niece starts learning to be more empathetic and sympathetic as she gets older, or she's going to have a rough time in life.
barbara Nivens 5 months ago
Never do anything for her and your brother again. "I'll deduct the $100 from the cost of feeding you, transportation and concert ticket.". And making the bed is "sexist?" She has no manners. And will never understand why people don't invite her back. Definitely don't pay for the hote. 🤦
Tabitha 5 months ago
I was just going to say that OP should go 100% no contact with them. Bro and niece basically just severed their last connection to the family by trying to screw over the only relative left who would talk to them. From now on they’ll be stuck having to find new strangers to treat that way, and it will be a never ending line of them, because strangers don’t let you cheat them more than once, if at all, before they too go 100% no contact.
Load More Replies... Dog Mom to Zoe 5 months ago
I'm Puerto Rican and this doesn't sound anything of what our culture would do. We help. Niece seems to be influence by someone, something. Sad that she was such an @$$, especially in an emergency.
tori Ohno 5 months ago
I call BS on this story. There's no way that the vet could diagnose an "allergy to her perfume" without an allergy patch test. That, and the "I didn't make her throw it away" is nonsense. You tell (or ask) someone to not wear it in your house, you don't steal it and throw it away. This whole thing doesn't make any sense.
K Barnes 5 months ago
A vet could make the deduction that the cat was having an allergic reaction to something, then presume that perhaps it was due to the new perfume, but no- they couldn't diagnose an allergy to a perfume they don't have a sample of in one visit. They could only make a guess.
Load More Replies... Fellfromthemoon 5 months ago
So, this is the case when they removed the 19-year-old 'child' from OP's home, as the cat was allergic to her.
spacer 5 months ago
im also child free by choice but would babysit an 11 year old during an emergency. that girl is entitled, taking so much and never giving anything back.
Nova Rook 5 months ago
I was child free when I was 12 and always babysat my little sister (who would have been 2). This was a little unusual around my friends but not shocking.
Load More Replies... Binky Melnik 5 months ago
I understood the $100 was for being asked not to wear her poisonous perfume! As soon as she opened her mouth about the money, I’d have said, “Well, you caused the $1000 vet visit, and your room, board, transportation, maid service, and concert ticket add up to $750, for a total of $1750. I’ll deduct the $100 from the total, so you only owe me $1650. Pay me right now or pack up your s**t and be gone in five minutes, and then I want never to hear from you and your dad for the rest of my life.” Then he, son, and cat can get back to important things like mourning the loss of the wife. (Poor man! As if life isn’t hard enough right now, he has two clueless ingrates making things harder by an order of magnitude! 🤬🤬🤬 🔪 🙎🏽♀️
Load More Replies... Mark Childers 5 months ago
I think this guy needs to join the rest of his family and go no or low contact with the brother and the niece. They don't seem very appreciative or kind towards the brother. I don't have kids because I don't like them. In my sibling's emergency, especially for a kid who seems pretty okay to be left alone, I would have done it in a heartbeat without a thought. I hope the niece starts learning to be more empathetic and sympathetic as she gets older, or she's going to have a rough time in life.
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