Man Begins To Question All The People In His Life After He Meets A Random Woman On A Plane
Interview With Author
Life-changing experiences can happen at any moment, and they have the power to completely change our perspective. Whether it happens due to a job, an event, an object, or a person doesn’t really matter. What truly matters is what we do after that life-changing moment.
A Reddit poster shared his life-altering event that happened due to a simple conversation with a girl on a flight. Bored Panda also interviewed the poster, u/sooperdooper28, to learn more about the realizations he had after the event.
More info: Reddit
One conversation has the power to make you see the world differently and change how you feel about your life
Image credits: Nathan Cowley (not the actual photo)
A man was flying back home after spending a weekend with his friends, and he began chatting with the girl who he was seated next to on the flight
Image credits: Man Wong (not the actual photo)
They both felt so comfortable conversing with each other that the man shared about traumatic events that happened to him while the girl listened attentively
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)
After the flight was over, he told the girl to stay in touch, and the experience also made him reevaluate his friendships and relationships
Image credits: sooperdooper28
He realized that he could not truly be himself with any of the people in his life or the girl who he was planning to have a relationship with
The Original Poster (OP) did not expect that a normal flight could turn his life all topsy-turvy. But his chance encounter with the girl beside him showed him that he needed someone to pay attention to the things he had to say. He felt comfortable enough to share his traumatic experiences with her, and she patiently heard him out without one-upping him.
That’s when the poster realized that his current relationships were not adding value to his life. According to Relationship Fluent, “Healthy friendships help you develop a sense of belonging, make you feel valued, and reduce feelings of isolation. They also give you comfort in knowing that someone who loves and accepts you will be there to be by your side through the ups and downs of life.” Which is all the things OP was not experiencing with the people around him.
When we asked the poster why this experience was so powerful for him, he shared, “I just realized I needed more genuine people in my life. I was so afraid of being alone that I found myself surrounded by people that drained me rather than uplifted me. I had to wear a ‘mask’ for all my friends and relationships because they wouldn’t accept who I really was, and that’s my fault for keeping the type of people around me.”
Research on the impact of good friendships found that even having one more good friend can increase an individual’s general health measure by 6.6% of a standard deviation. Verywell Mind stated that “genuine friends can be a valuable source of emotional and practical support.” They also added that fake friendships can cause a person to question their self-worth, which can negatively impact their self-esteem.
The lady on the flight beside the author helped him by listening to him attentively, sharing her life experiences, and letting him be himself. All of those things changed how he felt about the people he was surrounded by. When asked whether he was in contact with the girl from the plane, OP told Bored Panda, “Not really. We have each other on IG, but that’s all.” He even told people in the comments that he had sent her a message, but she had left him on read.
Image credits: Sergey Zhumaev (not the actual photo)
The poster revealed more about his relationships in the comments, saying: “I’ve been lowering my standards because I was realizing nobody really meets what I want, and perhaps I was being unreasonable.” This shows that most of the connections he had were toxic and taking a toll on him. According to the Counselling Directory, “Toxic friendships can have a significant impact on mental health. The negative behavior of a toxic friend can lead to feelings of anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and stress.”
OP had been serious about one girl in his life, but after talking to his flight partner, he realized that he didn’t want to continue the relationship. He opened up in the comments saying: “The girl I was seeing is completely different. I once talked to her about the same experience I mentioned in this post, and she almost tried making it a competition by randomly bringing up her stuff. She’s super judgemental about random s**t and pretends she’s smarter than everybody around her.”
People tend to get used to toxic relationships until something big forces them to question their connections. In this case, the author realized that a stranger could provide him with better emotional support than all the friends he had surrounded himself with. It was a shocking realization but one that hopefully pushed him to go in a better and more positive direction.
Commenters were glad that the OP had experienced such a powerful moment. Many resonated with the difficulty of finding and keeping good quality friends. The post received 7.6k upvotes and a lot of comments filled with advice and suggestions on how to improve his relationships or get better friends. Have you ever been through a life-altering experience like this? Tell us in the comments.
Netizens gave the poster advice on how to approach his friendships and relationships and said that the girl probably “saved” him by letting him be himself
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This person needs a therapist! If they have realised none of their relationships are fulfilling, then they need to get themselves to therapy to explore ways of healing the trauma, and learning to move forward.
I agree. These feelings of disconnect from people around you as well as strong attachment to a random person are trauma responses. OP needs therapy. I hope he gets some help.
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Personally I think he's projecting. He was always dissatisfied with his life, but apparently not dissatisfied enough to do anything about it. He meets someone, who is kind and friendly and who listens and who probably doesn't have the faintest inkling that this friendly chat is a life-changing event for him. The conversation gives him a taste of how things could be and now he's burning all his bridges. Maybe a bit rash, because maybe the friends he has are also open to a more honest relationship.
How is that projecting, which implies dishonesty? He just finally is forced to grow up, he takes a step back and sees he's just playing pretend to fit in with the people he grew up with.
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I think he should not reach out to his seat mate again. I think it's flattering to think that someone likes you, it's a burden to think that you changed their entire life.
Agreed. He should look for more meaningful interests than he has now.
Load More Replies... This person needs a therapist! If they have realised none of their relationships are fulfilling, then they need to get themselves to therapy to explore ways of healing the trauma, and learning to move forward.
I agree. These feelings of disconnect from people around you as well as strong attachment to a random person are trauma responses. OP needs therapy. I hope he gets some help.
Load More Replies... Personally I think he's projecting. He was always dissatisfied with his life, but apparently not dissatisfied enough to do anything about it. He meets someone, who is kind and friendly and who listens and who probably doesn't have the faintest inkling that this friendly chat is a life-changing event for him. The conversation gives him a taste of how things could be and now he's burning all his bridges. Maybe a bit rash, because maybe the friends he has are also open to a more honest relationship.
How is that projecting, which implies dishonesty? He just finally is forced to grow up, he takes a step back and sees he's just playing pretend to fit in with the people he grew up with.
Load More Replies... I think he should not reach out to his seat mate again. I think it's flattering to think that someone likes you, it's a burden to think that you changed their entire life.
Agreed. He should look for more meaningful interests than he has now.
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