It has to be said that we live in the 21st century. In a modern society.
If we can have an entire rainbow of genders, legalized same sex marriage, among many other amazing modern day societal achievements, it’s only normal to also be accepting of men in childcare roles at this point.
Unfortunately, not everyone is yet on the same page. A stay-at-home dad recently vented how they got labeled a creep for watching his kids in the park the other day. Folks need to start talking more about this.
Apparently, society hasn’t yet come to a point where people don’t side-eye stay-at-home dads in public parks
Image credits: leencrombez / envanto (not the actual photo)
A dad recently ran into a bit of trouble watching his kids in a park all because a mom decided he’s not actually with his kids
Image credits: Budgeron Bach / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: TeachingKey5148
Before trouble began, the dad took his daughters and simply left, avoiding both the trouble and the supposed crazy person
Image credits: Brett Sayles / pexels (not the actual photo)
A few days ago, a dad took to Reddit to share about a stigma that’s still prevalent in modern day society in terms of stay-at-home dads. Apparently, some folks can’t yet fathom the concept that a dad can be a homemaker and a loving parent who does what is traditionally considered the job of a mother.
In a nutshell, OP was with his daughters at the local park, enjoying the day. A wild mom appeared in the distance, side-eyeing the whole situation. Eventually, she approached him, assuming he’s a predator, and told him to leave. She didn’t believe he was actually a dad. He did eventually leave. But the stigma hit hard.
And this sparked a conversation in the comments. Folks were torn about whether the police should’ve been involved as it could’ve either gone well and the mom would’ve been embarrassed, or it would have gone bad, especially since OP himself noted that the police isn’t the best in the area.
Others shared their own stories of getting into similar bits of trouble, police included. Some related to the experience and pointed out the positives of being a primary caretaker dad.
You bet there are studies measuring just how well dads kick butt at parenting aaand they’re just as good as the moms
Image credits: Anna Shvets / pexels (not the actual photo)
A study from Cambridge University pitted primary caretaker dads against primary caretaker moms as well as studied dual-earner mom and dad couples to check who did a better job at parenting. And, well, there was no statistically significant difference there.
The factors considered were parenting quality, depression, anxiety, stress, feeling of social support, marital quality, conflict with the child, and the child’s own behavior (adjustment).
The study challenged the traditional assumption that women are a better fit for primary parenting. However, empirical evidence says both are great and dads should actually be encouraged to take on the role as they are equally apt for it.
And while there is no doubt that any sensible human being would’ve understood this without the need for formal research, it just shows that there are segments in modern society that still demand change in terms of accepting parenting and gender roles, among other things.
So, what are your thoughts on any of this? Share your takes and stories in the comment section!
A lot of folks discussed whether or not the police should’ve been involved and noted their support for the dad
Others shared similar stories of how stay-at-home dadhood isn’t yet as widely accepted
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So no other parents there and she makes a huge assumption and thinks a 4 and 7 yo should be left alone. Good critical thinking there.
This is sexism, full stop. If you can't imagine a man having a role previously left to women you're being sexist. This is so sad at a time we ask men to take more "feminine" tasks and to leave gender stereotypes behind, many women still behave like we're not in the XXIst century.
In this case I think it was more likely racism. If she really didn't believe he was their father she wouldn't have let him just walk away with those kids...that b***h wanted them to leave for some reason. However I have heard other stories where it's just blatant sexism, even some women think only women should be caregivers it's so ridiculous, so many people still brainwashed to make assumptions based on gender. I loved spending time with my dad as a child just he and I. I think it's important to have kids bond with their parents individually sometimes.
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In future I would ask "in what way am I being creepy?" If they come back with "staring," then ask how else you need to watch your children and why is she not doing the same for the safety of *her* children?
Exactly! I would have asked, "So it's perfectly acceptable for you to harass anyone whom YOU believe to be a predator, while failing to supervise your own child? Genius." Then proceed to ignore her.
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So she didn't raise hell when he called the kids over and took them with him?
The movie "Daddy Daycare" shown a spotlight on this very issue. It's perfectly acceptable for women to take on traditional men's roles. But the opposite is met with suspicion and opposition. Note: the absolute worst abuse I have witnessed in a daycare setting has always been at the hands of WOMEN. Think about it, folks.
It sounds like that woman has her heart in the right place, but her head seems to be lodged firmly up her bum.
OP is correct about the daycare thing, too. When I worked at them, the biggest national chain had a policy that male employees could not work with children under five.
I almost wonder if she was trying to get him to leave, if he's black she may have guessed he wouldn't chance an encounter with cops that could go sideways.
I think he left out a (sadly) important detail in the story - from the comments, I gather that he's black. I would bet you one million dollars that that wouldn't have happened if he had been a white man
Drop white and black and all your left with is a man. That's the key factor, see she could be a racist b***h and was probably using that as an excuse to be racist but if it was a black woman I'd wager she would still be racist but unable to say anything because of the gender roles aligning with a black mother instead of a black father.
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IDK if it's everywhere, but my boyfriend took our daughter to the library and tried to let her check out books on his library card. They said he couldn't, which didn't make sense to us as she checks books out all the time on my card. Apparently, adult males are not allowed to check out children's books? Even though she was WITH him and called him DAD. I've checked books out for her when she wasn't even present. Stupid double standards. Women can be predators too!
Just carry a family picture in your wallet or better still make them wade thru thousands of happy snaps and videos on your phone. Bonus points if you can bore them to tears for hours with supreme pride in your kids achievements as a parent and keep a running commentary throughout the ordeal.
He should have called the cops...while staring at her. "Yes, dispatch, I'm being harassed at XYZ playground in front of my children"
When I (64F) was growing up, dad would take me and my 3 sibs to the park just to give mom a breather. Never had any problems like this back then.
There were a million better ways the woman could have handled the situation. She absolutely chose the worst, most insulting way. Unfortunately, there are creepy people who prey on young children at the park and other places, and for the most part, they are male.
Excuse me? This is definitely not a "most are male" is the fact that society give women free pass even when they commit even more serious crimes then men. Lawyers will seek to exploit a womans proceived frailty when compared to a man to get a more lenient sentence. What sentences do male teachers get when they prey on their students? What sentences do female teachers get when preying on students, 10 months 2 years? You can't tell me that female teacher who ends up getting pregnant by the little boy is allowed to birth the child and now that 10yo boy now has a baby it needs to take care of because his life is ruined. Man does that to a little girl, oh suddenly terminate the baby, dude is in for life (rightfully so). Almost anywhere in the US a woman claims she is raped and is the max sentence for the man with zero proof. Female on Male rape isn't taken seriously at all even with documented evidence.
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Should've let the nutcase calls the cops. It's the only way these weirdos learn
Unfortunately that can easily escalate and get him killed.
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There's a stigma against men going to do anything where a lot of children might be involved. Usually I go to the movies by myself, however one time when I went to see a kids movie (Pixars Inside Out), I got accused of creeping on a group of kids sitting in my row. I did not touch, talk, or interact with anyone besides getting out of the way. I was just sitting and enjoying the movie like everybody else. I completely understand how antsy people can get about kids but how about we wait until something actually suspicious happens first. Simply existing is not suspicious.
I truly appreciate the awful double-standard applied to male primary care givers. However, how many news articles have you seen/read where kids have been abducted in broad daylight and witnesses did nothing because they "assumed it was a parent". The majority of these cases do *not* have happy endings. Whilst I think automatically accusing/believing the worst is potentially cruel, the majprity of child abductors/molesters are male, and abductions are more common than any parent would ever wish to believe. Vigilance is important, judging based on gender is disgraceful. But it's very hard to find a safe balance
In my country it is normal for dads to look after their kids and we don't really have a pedo scare. Unfortunately this racism is commonplace. Watch this video. The wife clearly says she moved to my country because of George Floyd. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gup6hCCcpfI&t=4891s
Yes, and have the cops to explain prejudice to the kids mom and how wrong it is.
I'm incredibly sad that this happened to this man, both sexism and racism appear to be at play. In his situation depending on the vibe, I would have invited her to ask my daughters who I am. On the flip side this never happened to me as a Mom with my sons. I didn't often sit and watch my children as much as we played together.
I kind of see this from both sides. The woman was looking out for the kids which is what we need more of but once the man had identified himself as the father she should have dropped it apologised and said she was just looking out for the kids trying to keep them safe and it could have ended in a more pleasant way.
I disagree. You can't be suspicious of every man with children. Also, I highly doubt she would have done the same if it were a woman with the girls.
Load More Replies... So no other parents there and she makes a huge assumption and thinks a 4 and 7 yo should be left alone. Good critical thinking there.
This is sexism, full stop. If you can't imagine a man having a role previously left to women you're being sexist. This is so sad at a time we ask men to take more "feminine" tasks and to leave gender stereotypes behind, many women still behave like we're not in the XXIst century.
In this case I think it was more likely racism. If she really didn't believe he was their father she wouldn't have let him just walk away with those kids...that b***h wanted them to leave for some reason. However I have heard other stories where it's just blatant sexism, even some women think only women should be caregivers it's so ridiculous, so many people still brainwashed to make assumptions based on gender. I loved spending time with my dad as a child just he and I. I think it's important to have kids bond with their parents individually sometimes.
Load More Replies... In future I would ask "in what way am I being creepy?" If they come back with "staring," then ask how else you need to watch your children and why is she not doing the same for the safety of *her* children?
Exactly! I would have asked, "So it's perfectly acceptable for you to harass anyone whom YOU believe to be a predator, while failing to supervise your own child? Genius." Then proceed to ignore her.
Load More Replies... So she didn't raise hell when he called the kids over and took them with him?
The movie "Daddy Daycare" shown a spotlight on this very issue. It's perfectly acceptable for women to take on traditional men's roles. But the opposite is met with suspicion and opposition. Note: the absolute worst abuse I have witnessed in a daycare setting has always been at the hands of WOMEN. Think about it, folks.
It sounds like that woman has her heart in the right place, but her head seems to be lodged firmly up her bum.
OP is correct about the daycare thing, too. When I worked at them, the biggest national chain had a policy that male employees could not work with children under five.
I almost wonder if she was trying to get him to leave, if he's black she may have guessed he wouldn't chance an encounter with cops that could go sideways.
I think he left out a (sadly) important detail in the story - from the comments, I gather that he's black. I would bet you one million dollars that that wouldn't have happened if he had been a white man
Drop white and black and all your left with is a man. That's the key factor, see she could be a racist b***h and was probably using that as an excuse to be racist but if it was a black woman I'd wager she would still be racist but unable to say anything because of the gender roles aligning with a black mother instead of a black father.
Load More Replies... IDK if it's everywhere, but my boyfriend took our daughter to the library and tried to let her check out books on his library card. They said he couldn't, which didn't make sense to us as she checks books out all the time on my card. Apparently, adult males are not allowed to check out children's books? Even though she was WITH him and called him DAD. I've checked books out for her when she wasn't even present. Stupid double standards. Women can be predators too!
Just carry a family picture in your wallet or better still make them wade thru thousands of happy snaps and videos on your phone. Bonus points if you can bore them to tears for hours with supreme pride in your kids achievements as a parent and keep a running commentary throughout the ordeal.
He should have called the cops...while staring at her. "Yes, dispatch, I'm being harassed at XYZ playground in front of my children"
When I (64F) was growing up, dad would take me and my 3 sibs to the park just to give mom a breather. Never had any problems like this back then.
There were a million better ways the woman could have handled the situation. She absolutely chose the worst, most insulting way. Unfortunately, there are creepy people who prey on young children at the park and other places, and for the most part, they are male.
Excuse me? This is definitely not a "most are male" is the fact that society give women free pass even when they commit even more serious crimes then men. Lawyers will seek to exploit a womans proceived frailty when compared to a man to get a more lenient sentence. What sentences do male teachers get when they prey on their students? What sentences do female teachers get when preying on students, 10 months 2 years? You can't tell me that female teacher who ends up getting pregnant by the little boy is allowed to birth the child and now that 10yo boy now has a baby it needs to take care of because his life is ruined. Man does that to a little girl, oh suddenly terminate the baby, dude is in for life (rightfully so). Almost anywhere in the US a woman claims she is raped and is the max sentence for the man with zero proof. Female on Male rape isn't taken seriously at all even with documented evidence.
Load More Replies... Should've let the nutcase calls the cops. It's the only way these weirdos learn
Unfortunately that can easily escalate and get him killed.
Load More Replies... There's a stigma against men going to do anything where a lot of children might be involved. Usually I go to the movies by myself, however one time when I went to see a kids movie (Pixars Inside Out), I got accused of creeping on a group of kids sitting in my row. I did not touch, talk, or interact with anyone besides getting out of the way. I was just sitting and enjoying the movie like everybody else. I completely understand how antsy people can get about kids but how about we wait until something actually suspicious happens first. Simply existing is not suspicious.
I truly appreciate the awful double-standard applied to male primary care givers. However, how many news articles have you seen/read where kids have been abducted in broad daylight and witnesses did nothing because they "assumed it was a parent". The majority of these cases do *not* have happy endings. Whilst I think automatically accusing/believing the worst is potentially cruel, the majprity of child abductors/molesters are male, and abductions are more common than any parent would ever wish to believe. Vigilance is important, judging based on gender is disgraceful. But it's very hard to find a safe balance
In my country it is normal for dads to look after their kids and we don't really have a pedo scare. Unfortunately this racism is commonplace. Watch this video. The wife clearly says she moved to my country because of George Floyd. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gup6hCCcpfI&t=4891s
Yes, and have the cops to explain prejudice to the kids mom and how wrong it is.
I'm incredibly sad that this happened to this man, both sexism and racism appear to be at play. In his situation depending on the vibe, I would have invited her to ask my daughters who I am. On the flip side this never happened to me as a Mom with my sons. I didn't often sit and watch my children as much as we played together.
I kind of see this from both sides. The woman was looking out for the kids which is what we need more of but once the man had identified himself as the father she should have dropped it apologised and said she was just looking out for the kids trying to keep them safe and it could have ended in a more pleasant way.
I disagree. You can't be suspicious of every man with children. Also, I highly doubt she would have done the same if it were a woman with the girls.
Load More Replies...
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