Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
then open in external browser
and click "Open in External Browser" 
User submission
724
Woman Turned Passive Aggressive After Everyone Forgot About Her Birthday, Ended Up Being Called A ‘Petty A-Hole’
Story time. On my 17th birthday, a good friend of mine offered to meet up and hang out around town. I kinda half expected for it to become a birthday celebration at some point, but nope. We spent more than half a day just walking around town, doing nothing.
Technology was a thing back then, he could’ve easily learned that it was my birthday, but he didn’t, and you know what? It was still cool, I got to hang out with a friend the whole day. And other friends congratulated me, so it was a great day.
Now, imagine if absolutely nobody congratulated you on your birthday. Not even your family. This is what happened to this one Reddit user who shared her story of how everyone forgot her birthday, and she got a bit upset about it.
More Info: Reddit
RELATED:
What are the chances of everyone—and I mean everyone—forgetting your birthday? Probably slim, but never zero
Image credits: Bjørn Bulthuis
Meet u/The_Pickle_Thieves, who introduced herself as a 19-year-old female who recently had a birthday. (Happy birthday, by the way!) She turned to the Am I The A-Hole community on Reddit, asking the lovely people there if she was wrong to get upset and become passive aggressive with people who forgot to congratulate her on her birthday.
You see, Pickle explained that she is one of those people who does her darndest to remember everyone’s birthdays, to at the very least congratulate them, or, if she can, get them a gift.
Well, her birthday came around. And, believe it or not, despite things like technology and social media reminding everyone of everyone else’s special days, and despite some people being very close to OP, nobody wished her a happy birthday. As if everyone had agreed upon it and executed it flawlessly.
This Reddit user shared her story of how her family and friends completely forgot her birthday
Image credits: The_Pickle_Thieves
Needless to say, she was hella upset. So much that she decided to be passive aggressive about it. Now THAT everyone noticed. And when everyone started asking questions, she started explaining.
It didn’t take long for her to learn that her friends and family simply forgot. But, instead of making amends, they came back with things like “you should’ve told us.” The most painful experience was with her mother, who did pull the “should’ve told me” trick, and then upset OP even more by calling her a spoiled brat when she was in tears because her own family forgot.
Despite these reactions, the AITA community was very supportive of Pickle. While you could argue that OP didn’t have to be passive aggressive about it, and could have simply talked about why it was upsetting, it doesn’t justify how the friends and the family reacted, acting like it’s no big deal.
So, the community determined that she is not wrong to feel the way she does or behave the way she did. Many shared their own stories of being forgotten and how they felt about it. Others said it’s really unfair how she cares about other people’s birthdays, but they don’t reciprocate.
Yet others pointed out that it’s unacceptable how some of these friends and family treated her—“why am I being insulted because you forgot my birthday?”
At this point, the story isn’t really going viral, as it got a modest several hundred upvotes and a handful of Reddit awards, but it did reach some other viral news platforms, and, more importantly, people within the AITA community heard her—and in turn expressed their support for her.
The AITA community were very supportive of her, determining that she is not the bad guy in this situation
You can check out everything by going to the Reddit post here, but before you ditch the site, tell us what are your thoughts on this in the comment section below!
80Kviews
Share on Facebook What do you think ?
Zoe's Mom 4 years ago
I'm on board with the O.P. All I want is an aknowledgement that someone remembered. At my age, I don'tn eed anything but it's heartwarming when someone remembers a special day. She is NTA. Her mother is.
NsG 4 years ago (edited)
Very much NTA. The whole "you should've said something" is BS - it's putting the emotional and mental labour back on the last person who should hold it. And if she had said something? Probably would have received a "well, look who thinks she's special" kinda response (go on, ask me how I'm sure that's how it'll go...). It hurts, and maybe being passive-agressive isn't the way to go, which is easy to say as someone whose teenage years are long behind her, but that still does not an AH make. The other way to behave (much, much harder) is to be the better person. Consider this a belated birthday gift - you now know exactly what kind of people your family and friends are and can take steps to move on beyond their pathetic lives to live a much better one of your own.
michelle busby 4 years ago
The same thing happened to me when I was 14. It was a different situation though and as I've gotten older I can somewhat understand. My mum's dad passed away 2 weeks before my birthday and the funeral was on my birthday. Not a single person mentioned my birthday. As a 14 year old I was really upset, not with just my grandfather's death but also that seemingly everyone had just decided it was better to just not acknowledge my birthday. Not wanting to upset anyone else I said nothing at the time but a few weeks later I mentioned it to my sister. She said she had remembered but say anything as didn't want to upset anyone. A few days after that I got home from school to a gift and cards from my parents who apologised. My mum said she hadn't realised at the time they arranged the date of the funeral it was my birthday but when she realised it was too late to change it and easier to pretend it wasn't happening. I still think about it but like I say, I understand it more as an adult.
Mike Loux 4 years ago
Wow. Your mum is kind of an asshole. She could have taken you aside as soon as she realized what happened, and said, "Hey, I know this is happening on your birthday, and it sucks, but we'll do something special for you the day or weekend after" or just even f*****g ACKNOWLEDGED it. But she didn't. EPIC FAIL.
Load More Replies...
Casey McAlister 4 years ago
It's not a situation where "you should have said something" works. Say what exactly? "Um, so it's my birthday, so can you pretend that you care at least a little bit and wish me the happiest birthday, cause it totally won't sound insincere and absolutely won't make me feel as if I have to beg for a token of appreciation from you".
Anna Snorrepot 4 years ago
duh… you say: "It's my birthday next Tuesday, come eat cake!" I am the social inept autist here but that's how I invite a friend to have a celebration (of me) together! You ask people if you want something like "Would you like me to come over for dinner/your birthday tomorrow or does that not suit?" Don't go waiting until someone reads your mind and heart.
Load More Replies...
Tara Raay 4 years ago
Nah, they’re c***s. I don’t care how rude that is. I’ve been in this situation and it feels HORRIBLE! Especially when you never forget others and are always a good friend.
Francesca Annoni 4 years ago
She must forget the birthdays of EVERYONE for this year.. she usually make special gift for everyone and remember to greet her family members.. they need to know what means, if it's not important it will not be such a problem..
Andrew Bridge 4 years ago
No, not this year. That'll be obvious that you're forgetting on purpose. Act normal for a year then wipe birthdays from your mind
Load More Replies...
Fester Sixonesixonethree 4 years ago (edited)
NTA. The mother & the friends are TA. Here's what happens the other way round: I planned a full day of things to do on my 45th birthday. Three events over the course of a full day. Pick which one you want to come to and let's have fun! Not one person showed up. There were no excuses - I sent out invitations two months prior, and reminded everyone every week. No one showed up. So I ghosted all of them. Every single one. F**k all of you.
lenka 4 years ago
You are NOT the arsehole. But you have a choice moving forward how to deal with this. Passive aggressive ghosting is not going to help or make you feel better. I am not saying you are an arsehole for being passive aggressive and I am definitely not saying that it is your fault because ''you should have said something''. What I am saying is, that for your own confidence, validation ability to move on, communicating clearly is really important. Tell them that their actions were really hurtful and then either forgive or not, and move on. You don't want to stay in this place you're at.
MyOpinionHasBeenServed 4 years ago
This hits hard. I had a few times my mom actually went out on dates on my birthday and left me home alone. And one birthday she blew up at me over a very cleanable mess and barred me from having another birthday party with friends. She hated me having friends over.
Zoe's Mom 4 years ago
I'm on board with the O.P. All I want is an aknowledgement that someone remembered. At my age, I don'tn eed anything but it's heartwarming when someone remembers a special day. She is NTA. Her mother is.
NsG 4 years ago (edited)
Very much NTA. The whole "you should've said something" is BS - it's putting the emotional and mental labour back on the last person who should hold it. And if she had said something? Probably would have received a "well, look who thinks she's special" kinda response (go on, ask me how I'm sure that's how it'll go...). It hurts, and maybe being passive-agressive isn't the way to go, which is easy to say as someone whose teenage years are long behind her, but that still does not an AH make. The other way to behave (much, much harder) is to be the better person. Consider this a belated birthday gift - you now know exactly what kind of people your family and friends are and can take steps to move on beyond their pathetic lives to live a much better one of your own.
michelle busby 4 years ago
The same thing happened to me when I was 14. It was a different situation though and as I've gotten older I can somewhat understand. My mum's dad passed away 2 weeks before my birthday and the funeral was on my birthday. Not a single person mentioned my birthday. As a 14 year old I was really upset, not with just my grandfather's death but also that seemingly everyone had just decided it was better to just not acknowledge my birthday. Not wanting to upset anyone else I said nothing at the time but a few weeks later I mentioned it to my sister. She said she had remembered but say anything as didn't want to upset anyone. A few days after that I got home from school to a gift and cards from my parents who apologised. My mum said she hadn't realised at the time they arranged the date of the funeral it was my birthday but when she realised it was too late to change it and easier to pretend it wasn't happening. I still think about it but like I say, I understand it more as an adult.
Mike Loux 4 years ago
Wow. Your mum is kind of an asshole. She could have taken you aside as soon as she realized what happened, and said, "Hey, I know this is happening on your birthday, and it sucks, but we'll do something special for you the day or weekend after" or just even f*****g ACKNOWLEDGED it. But she didn't. EPIC FAIL.
Load More Replies... Casey McAlister 4 years ago
It's not a situation where "you should have said something" works. Say what exactly? "Um, so it's my birthday, so can you pretend that you care at least a little bit and wish me the happiest birthday, cause it totally won't sound insincere and absolutely won't make me feel as if I have to beg for a token of appreciation from you".
Anna Snorrepot 4 years ago
duh… you say: "It's my birthday next Tuesday, come eat cake!" I am the social inept autist here but that's how I invite a friend to have a celebration (of me) together! You ask people if you want something like "Would you like me to come over for dinner/your birthday tomorrow or does that not suit?" Don't go waiting until someone reads your mind and heart.
Load More Replies... Tara Raay 4 years ago
Nah, they’re c***s. I don’t care how rude that is. I’ve been in this situation and it feels HORRIBLE! Especially when you never forget others and are always a good friend.
Francesca Annoni 4 years ago
She must forget the birthdays of EVERYONE for this year.. she usually make special gift for everyone and remember to greet her family members.. they need to know what means, if it's not important it will not be such a problem..
Andrew Bridge 4 years ago
No, not this year. That'll be obvious that you're forgetting on purpose. Act normal for a year then wipe birthdays from your mind
Load More Replies... Fester Sixonesixonethree 4 years ago (edited)
NTA. The mother & the friends are TA. Here's what happens the other way round: I planned a full day of things to do on my 45th birthday. Three events over the course of a full day. Pick which one you want to come to and let's have fun! Not one person showed up. There were no excuses - I sent out invitations two months prior, and reminded everyone every week. No one showed up. So I ghosted all of them. Every single one. F**k all of you.
lenka 4 years ago
You are NOT the arsehole. But you have a choice moving forward how to deal with this. Passive aggressive ghosting is not going to help or make you feel better. I am not saying you are an arsehole for being passive aggressive and I am definitely not saying that it is your fault because ''you should have said something''. What I am saying is, that for your own confidence, validation ability to move on, communicating clearly is really important. Tell them that their actions were really hurtful and then either forgive or not, and move on. You don't want to stay in this place you're at.
MyOpinionHasBeenServed 4 years ago
This hits hard. I had a few times my mom actually went out on dates on my birthday and left me home alone. And one birthday she blew up at me over a very cleanable mess and barred me from having another birthday party with friends. She hated me having friends over.
Related on Bored Panda
153
96