Wife’s Lie Surfaces When Husband Decides To Stay Up All Night And Check If His Cats Really Wake His Wife Up
Trying to imagine a future with someone who really wants children but you don’t or vice versa is impossible. Now with more people opting for only having pets, this discussion is also becoming more important. Pet owners are becoming more emotionally dependent on their animals and they would rather keep them instead of a person who dislikes them.
This man was lucky to find a woman who didn’t mind his cats and eventually married her, but recently she started complaining about them and asking to get rid of them. The husband wanted to see for himself what was causing his wife stress and found out that she made up everything, which led to such a big fight that divorce is very likely.
More info: Reddit
Man was suspicious about his wife actually not getting sleep because of his cats and decided to investigate
Image credits: Jennifer C. (not the actual photo)
The Original Poster (OP) has had his cats since before he met his wife and the woman knew how important they were to him. She didn’t have a problem with them until recently, when she started complaining about how noisy they are at night and losing sleep over them. So she suggested her husband should get rid of them or she will leave him.
The man never heard anything and his wife told him that he is a heavier sleeper. He believed her until one time when she complained about waking up to let the cats in at 1 am because he was also awake at that time. The man decided to purposefully not sleep all night and listen to the noises.
In the morning, the woman told him that she woke up at least 7 times and the cats kept jumping on her. This is not what the OP saw as the cats were in the other room, the bedroom door was closed and the cats kept pretty quiet.
The author of the post met his wife when he already had cats and the woman never had an issue with them until recently
Image credits: UhOhSleepyThrowaway
This is when the OP confronted his wife and called out her lies. At first she didn’t say anything and left. When the wife came back, she continued ignoring her husband but finally started to talk and threw back the accusations of lying because he made himself appear to be sleeping when he wasn’t. She also blamed him for being obsessive.
The original question was posed at this point and the OP wondered if he was actually an obsessive jerk for faking sleeping to check if his wife was lying. However, the story went downhill from here as the man provided several updates.
She started to complain about them waking her up every night several times a night and proposed an ultimatum: it’s either her or the cats
Image credits: UhOhSleepyThrowaway
The first update was posted in the comments after the OP kicked his wife out of his home. She wouldn’t talk to him about what happened and kicked his cat when he started scratching the door, wanting to come into the bedroom where she was sitting.
The second update is in the first post written after the wife was Baker Acted. “The Baker Act is a Florida law that enables families and loved ones to provide emergency mental health services and temporary detention for people who are impaired because of their mental illness, and who are unable to determine their needs for treatment,” according to University of Florida Health.
He got a call from the hospital inviting him for family therapy. During the session, he found out that the woman lied to him about the cats being noisy because she was mad at them for ruining a story she was writing on her laptop by stepping on it. She knew that the OP wouldn’t get rid of them for that, so she started lying about not getting enough sleep.
The man actually considered it, but then his wife told him that she had to get up to open the door again in the middle of the night, and this time he had been awake
Image credits: excelAnt (not the actual photo)
Image credits: UhOhSleepyThrowaway
The session ended with the wife screaming about how the OP is scum for choosing an animal over her, which is not a great way to end a therapy appointment. But screaming was the least of OP’s worries.
At some point, the wife was released from the hospital and wanted to pick up her things from their apartment. The OP warned her that her key wouldn’t fit as he changed the locks, so she would have to wait a bit until he came back.
He didn’t see her stand up nor hear his cats asking to be let in, so he decided to purposefully stay up all night and see what his cats did
Image credits: UhOhSleepyThrowaway
It seems that the wife didn’t wait for anything and broke the bedroom window with a brick, somehow managed to get in through the broken window, which was on the second floor, and not only took her stuff but destroyed the cats’ litter box and the cat tree, as told in the second update.
Thankfully, the man listened to people saying that he needed to move the cats to a safe place when he first told his story, because who knows what she would have done to them. This is when the man made up his mind about divorcing his wife.
The cats were pretty silent, but in the morning, his wife complained about not getting sleep again, so he realized she had lied to him to make him get rid of his pets
Image credits: UhOhSleepyThrowaway
After this, the OP moved to another place and needed to find a new job because the wife “kept causing trouble for the company and they gave [him] the option to either quit on [his] own terms or be fired.”
At the time of writing the third update, the OP already had a new job that the wife didn’t know about and was actually doing better, trying to recover and feeling safer. He even met a new woman, but was wary about starting a new relationship.
The third update included information about his wife as well. Turns out, she came to his family home to tell them that she would be suing the OP and fighting for the custody of the cats unless they gave her his new address. The family didn’t betray the OP and the people in the man’s life who thought the OP was exaggerating apologized to him for not being on his side.
Later he found out the reason, which was that she was angry at one of the cats for stepping on her laptop because it ruined a fanfiction she was writing
Image credits: UhOhSleepyThrowaway
A couple of months passed and the OP shared the aftermath. He started from his cats, who he saw were traumatized, as they weren’t as playful as before and the youngest started peeing all around the house, so the vet, knowing the story, attributed that to the stress it went through.
It is not clear at what point the divorce happened, but in this post, the OP already calls the woman his ex-wife and as far as he knows, she’s not doing well. Her family was abusive to her and other family members are dead, so she didn’t really have anywhere to go and is now living in the streets or couch-surfing. She also got into drugs and it didn’t help her mental health.
As for the man himself, he is now in a new relationship, but the experience has made him pretty paranoid and he has trust issues. He didn’t even believe his new girlfriend when she told him that one of their cats peed on the carpet, but he is hopeful to overcome his issues by going to therapy.
Eventually the man decided to divorce his wife and had to move and change his job because of how she was behaving
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)
Image credits: UhOhSleepyThrowaway
Nobody came out victorious after this split and even the cats are struggling, but people in the comments encouraged the OP and congratulated him for leaving a manipulative abuser. They were proud that he is dating again and that he is taking care of himself and his cats.
The OP went through quite a wild experience he never would have predicted as he had known his wife for years and they were happily married up until the argument about cats. Do you think there was more to it than just a ruined fanfiction? Some people suspected that such a sudden personality change might indicate health problems. Also, how do you think the OP handled the situation? Let us know your thoughts in the comments.
People in the comments were pretty horrified and suspected that the sudden change in personality isn’t just a regular mood swing
For a throwaway account, there's a bunch of additional updates in separate posts. Key points from the FINAL UPDATE include the ex-wife couch-surfing/homeless and getting into drug use, refusing to get help for any mental health issue she may have - since, if you weren't aware being Baker Acted means involuntarily committed for a psych evaluation, and the kitties being traumatised enough that the youngest is peeing all over the house (edit - she KICKED the cat! It was at this point OP kicked her out of the house). OP had to quit his job because of ex-wife (I haven't unpicked that part yet, I might have missed an update section), but now has a semi-decent job and a new girlfriend. So, another rollercoaster.
Maybe she had secretly developed her drug habit prior to this incident, which changed her brain chemistry and triggered the personality change, the lying, and the lack of impulse control (being angry and kicking cats she used to like). The cats were just the targets she zeroed in on and obsessed over. OP dodged a bullet. Junkies are not easy to live with, to put it mildly.
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This poor man. Reading the updates it seems his wife just lost her damned mind and was abusive to him and the cats and stalked him.
How does a story get "ruined" from a cat stepping on the laptop ???
No idea. You just click undo till it's fixed or reload from autosave
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I would bet my house she said something that would get her admitted on purpose so that her husband would be so worried that he'd do anything she asked of him because he'll only care that she felt safe. I don't believe for a second it was anything other than a manipulation move and she's beyond pissed that he still made the right choice and got rid of the trash, ie her. My husband is allergic to cats, when we moved in together 2 decades ago, he again said he was allergic to cats - which was true, he had to get monthly shots in order to not have a reaction - I told him the cats were there before him and they'll be here after him, that I'll never get rid of my pets for someone. I have maintained having cats this entire time - I doubt I'll ever like another human enough to get rid of my kitties. He had to get monthly shots for a couple of years and then he just quit having any type of allergic reactions from the cats even without the shots.
You can, through exposure, "train" your immune system to stop reacting. (Note, this obviously doesn't apply to anaphylaxis reactions!)
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This is one of the most insane things that I have ever read. I don't care how important your fan fiction or whatever is to you, you don't punish innocent animals for messing it up. Everyone knows that cats walk on laptops and all other things and they don't develop an intense hatred for them over that. This woman is crazy and I hope he does get a divorce because there is no telling what she would do to the cats if they stayed together. I got scratched by a dog a couple of months ago, but I have not developed a hatred for dogs. I know that dogs will do that from time to time. If you have that much hatred in your heart, you need to be alone for the rest of your life.
I can't figure out what the cat could have done that couldn't be fixed with a couple of clicks of the undo button.
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I'm wondering if there isn't something physically wrong with her, because it's weird to suddenly turn like that - and turn maliciously like that, too. Whatever the reason, I hope she gets the help she needs and he is happy. It's sad when a relationship goes suddenly crazy without any warning.
I don't trust anyone who issues an ultimatum over pets. I will always choose my pets because they're not a-holes.
When you get pets, they are family and you committed to them. They are your responsibility. IMO there are very few legitimate reasons to get rid of them.
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Let the cats stay with a friend until divorce done. Don't let them outside as she might try to poison her enemies or steal them. Change your locks. This woman showed her true liar colors and who knows how many more white lies she told to manipulate you before going too far with this story.
As someone who is cat owner and writes fanfictions, use Google Doc. Then the wife and the cats would be happy.
Honestly, even MS Word has an undo function that will reset anything a cat might do. Even if they've deleted the file because the folder was left open, that's what the recycle bin is for. (My fics are all saved in Google Drive, but I much prefer Word as a processor, tbh)
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A Mental illness, or a physical ailment causing her mental illness could explain her actions, but still in no way justifies them. I don’t care how ill one may be, kicking an animal is completely unacceptable. But as one person mentioned, she may have already been using drugs for awhile, which would explain her sudden change in demeanour. It’s really unfortunate, cause by the sounds of it, she’s had a tough go in life. But again, still does not excuse animal abuse & manipulating your spouse/partner. Wish this guy & those precious kitties only the best in life!
"IT's me or the pets" always has one answer. Pets. Tho' in this case, the now-ex was way out of line to the point that I'm not surprised she was admitted for a psych evaluation and/or treatment. FYI: You can assume lying, but you should also advise medical testing to be sure there *isn't* a weird reason for things. Drugs, tumors, malnutrition due to undiscovered disease, and, of course, yes, psych issues ranging from addiction to schizophrenia to PTSD flashbacks.
This is definitely the work of a narcissist. The catalyst was probably the story that the cats deleted but nothing is lost. It was definitely a symptom of something much deeper, at one possibly being jealous of any affection that was shown to cats and not her, it had to be all about her. Getting found out was the switch though. There might be some medical condition under all this, psychological or physical, nobody suddenly just has a personality change without a logical explanation, but she has refused help. As long as she believes she was the victim, she'll never get help.
I am glad he left her. What a serious piece of c**p excuse for a person.
Right?! This "person" is an evil toxic cuntvirus shitpile bitchfungus+. So vile!!!
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OP should have divorced her as soon as she admitted her manipulation. Poor cat got abused and is now traumatized. Stupid b**ch! Thank God they didn't have any kids...who knows what she would have done to a baby that made a mess!
Same thing could have been accomplished with a camera and he wouldn't have had to stay up all night. Plus he would have video proof she was a liar and crazy. Baker Act only works in certain states for instance in Michigan there is no such thing it wouldn't have worked out this way at all.
He did talk about cameras and videos in his post. It was a no-go.
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What a b***h. If someone made me choose between my pets or them, I will pick my pets 100% of the time.
if you left her - you did a good thing - she should have told you true story from the beginning and avoid all the mess she did - lying and terrorizing is not option - who knows what might be next story ?
Before I even finished, I was like, "It's not really about the cats, is it?"
I'm glad he decided to test his wife in her, what he thouggt were lies. His instincts were right and she was lying so yes. He is not the a*****e in this scenario. My 2 cats are my babies. They drive me crazy,one is evil, they p**s me off, I threaten I'm gonna get rid of them, but I NEVER will do that. I make this chaos work because this is what I want? No. I wanted a kitten who would love having a bigger sister to play with, amd vice versa but instead I have created hell. Well now I need to deal with this. My husband hates it, but he knows better to even think about doing something to harm them, get rid of them...I will protect my fur babies at all cost!
you have a mute TV with subtitles playing all night? That is weird my friend...
The fact that she threw the blame back on him tells me she has narcissistic tendencies and is determined to be #1 in a relationship. However, giving someone an ultimatum like that (them or me) will automatically make her lose. Even if he was weak enough to get rid of his cats for her, he won't be happy and the relationship is ruined anyway.
Divorce is the only correct answer here. Yes, he should absolutely choose the cats over his wife. Her mental disorder makes her a danger to him and the cats, possibly herself and others. She sounds like my obsessive, bipolar ex-wife or some kind of sociopath. Call me an AH if you want, but giving up pets is often a death sentence for them, and no person is worth that.
Wow, that's really messed up behavior from OP's spouse. OP was definitely NTA, his spouse put him in a very difficult situation (on purpose) and his reaction was totally understandable. I will say I find it better to go into difficult situations with an open mind, and withhold accusations. It seems like he set out to prove she was lying about the cats and then accused her of lying. She was lying, so that's fair....but at the same time, calling someone a liar rarely works out well. Going into this situation with an open mind could look like staying up to help deal with the cats (instead of staying up to prove she's lying). And then when talking about it the next day, stick to the facts and seek to understand instead of accuse. "I stayed up last night to deal with the cats so they wouldn't bother you, and they didn't bother you at all last night, yet you say they did. Help me understand what's really going on." All of this is much easier for someone not in the thick of it to comment on.
If you have to lie and act a f*****g child to get what you want from your partner even though they made it clear they are uncomfortable with it you are a piece of s**t , never make someone choose between what's important to them and you if that something was there BEFORE you you came into their life and they came Into yours then to lie about it na f**k that b***h. I hope she does get the help she needs and I hope she grows the f**k up , but she in this moment is an absolute c**t
This is a prime example of reasons ≠ excuses. The mental illness EXPLAINS why she did these but does not EXCUSE them. I hope she does improve with professional help but he is perfectly in his right to burn that bridge to the ground forever
Who's attitude towards the cats is a socially acceptable excuse? The husbands? Maybe he just loves them more than someone who would hurt them, mentally ill or not.
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She is mentally ill he is gaslit and victimized and the cats abused. Not sure how any of that equates to "immature"
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She kicked his cats, lied to him, gaslit him and the broke into the house and robbed him, after destroying the cats' things. I'd be eager to get away from her crazy a*s too.
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For a throwaway account, there's a bunch of additional updates in separate posts. Key points from the FINAL UPDATE include the ex-wife couch-surfing/homeless and getting into drug use, refusing to get help for any mental health issue she may have - since, if you weren't aware being Baker Acted means involuntarily committed for a psych evaluation, and the kitties being traumatised enough that the youngest is peeing all over the house (edit - she KICKED the cat! It was at this point OP kicked her out of the house). OP had to quit his job because of ex-wife (I haven't unpicked that part yet, I might have missed an update section), but now has a semi-decent job and a new girlfriend. So, another rollercoaster.
Maybe she had secretly developed her drug habit prior to this incident, which changed her brain chemistry and triggered the personality change, the lying, and the lack of impulse control (being angry and kicking cats she used to like). The cats were just the targets she zeroed in on and obsessed over. OP dodged a bullet. Junkies are not easy to live with, to put it mildly.
Load More Replies... This poor man. Reading the updates it seems his wife just lost her damned mind and was abusive to him and the cats and stalked him.
How does a story get "ruined" from a cat stepping on the laptop ???
No idea. You just click undo till it's fixed or reload from autosave
Load More Replies... I would bet my house she said something that would get her admitted on purpose so that her husband would be so worried that he'd do anything she asked of him because he'll only care that she felt safe. I don't believe for a second it was anything other than a manipulation move and she's beyond pissed that he still made the right choice and got rid of the trash, ie her. My husband is allergic to cats, when we moved in together 2 decades ago, he again said he was allergic to cats - which was true, he had to get monthly shots in order to not have a reaction - I told him the cats were there before him and they'll be here after him, that I'll never get rid of my pets for someone. I have maintained having cats this entire time - I doubt I'll ever like another human enough to get rid of my kitties. He had to get monthly shots for a couple of years and then he just quit having any type of allergic reactions from the cats even without the shots.
You can, through exposure, "train" your immune system to stop reacting. (Note, this obviously doesn't apply to anaphylaxis reactions!)
Load More Replies... This is one of the most insane things that I have ever read. I don't care how important your fan fiction or whatever is to you, you don't punish innocent animals for messing it up. Everyone knows that cats walk on laptops and all other things and they don't develop an intense hatred for them over that. This woman is crazy and I hope he does get a divorce because there is no telling what she would do to the cats if they stayed together. I got scratched by a dog a couple of months ago, but I have not developed a hatred for dogs. I know that dogs will do that from time to time. If you have that much hatred in your heart, you need to be alone for the rest of your life.
I can't figure out what the cat could have done that couldn't be fixed with a couple of clicks of the undo button.
Load More Replies... I'm wondering if there isn't something physically wrong with her, because it's weird to suddenly turn like that - and turn maliciously like that, too. Whatever the reason, I hope she gets the help she needs and he is happy. It's sad when a relationship goes suddenly crazy without any warning.
I don't trust anyone who issues an ultimatum over pets. I will always choose my pets because they're not a-holes.
When you get pets, they are family and you committed to them. They are your responsibility. IMO there are very few legitimate reasons to get rid of them.
Load More Replies... Let the cats stay with a friend until divorce done. Don't let them outside as she might try to poison her enemies or steal them. Change your locks. This woman showed her true liar colors and who knows how many more white lies she told to manipulate you before going too far with this story.
As someone who is cat owner and writes fanfictions, use Google Doc. Then the wife and the cats would be happy.
Honestly, even MS Word has an undo function that will reset anything a cat might do. Even if they've deleted the file because the folder was left open, that's what the recycle bin is for. (My fics are all saved in Google Drive, but I much prefer Word as a processor, tbh)
Load More Replies... A Mental illness, or a physical ailment causing her mental illness could explain her actions, but still in no way justifies them. I don’t care how ill one may be, kicking an animal is completely unacceptable. But as one person mentioned, she may have already been using drugs for awhile, which would explain her sudden change in demeanour. It’s really unfortunate, cause by the sounds of it, she’s had a tough go in life. But again, still does not excuse animal abuse & manipulating your spouse/partner. Wish this guy & those precious kitties only the best in life!
"IT's me or the pets" always has one answer. Pets. Tho' in this case, the now-ex was way out of line to the point that I'm not surprised she was admitted for a psych evaluation and/or treatment. FYI: You can assume lying, but you should also advise medical testing to be sure there *isn't* a weird reason for things. Drugs, tumors, malnutrition due to undiscovered disease, and, of course, yes, psych issues ranging from addiction to schizophrenia to PTSD flashbacks.
This is definitely the work of a narcissist. The catalyst was probably the story that the cats deleted but nothing is lost. It was definitely a symptom of something much deeper, at one possibly being jealous of any affection that was shown to cats and not her, it had to be all about her. Getting found out was the switch though. There might be some medical condition under all this, psychological or physical, nobody suddenly just has a personality change without a logical explanation, but she has refused help. As long as she believes she was the victim, she'll never get help.
I am glad he left her. What a serious piece of c**p excuse for a person.
Right?! This "person" is an evil toxic cuntvirus shitpile bitchfungus+. So vile!!!
Load More Replies... OP should have divorced her as soon as she admitted her manipulation. Poor cat got abused and is now traumatized. Stupid b**ch! Thank God they didn't have any kids...who knows what she would have done to a baby that made a mess!
Same thing could have been accomplished with a camera and he wouldn't have had to stay up all night. Plus he would have video proof she was a liar and crazy. Baker Act only works in certain states for instance in Michigan there is no such thing it wouldn't have worked out this way at all.
He did talk about cameras and videos in his post. It was a no-go.
Load More Replies... What a b***h. If someone made me choose between my pets or them, I will pick my pets 100% of the time.
if you left her - you did a good thing - she should have told you true story from the beginning and avoid all the mess she did - lying and terrorizing is not option - who knows what might be next story ?
Before I even finished, I was like, "It's not really about the cats, is it?"
I'm glad he decided to test his wife in her, what he thouggt were lies. His instincts were right and she was lying so yes. He is not the a*****e in this scenario. My 2 cats are my babies. They drive me crazy,one is evil, they p**s me off, I threaten I'm gonna get rid of them, but I NEVER will do that. I make this chaos work because this is what I want? No. I wanted a kitten who would love having a bigger sister to play with, amd vice versa but instead I have created hell. Well now I need to deal with this. My husband hates it, but he knows better to even think about doing something to harm them, get rid of them...I will protect my fur babies at all cost!
you have a mute TV with subtitles playing all night? That is weird my friend...
The fact that she threw the blame back on him tells me she has narcissistic tendencies and is determined to be #1 in a relationship. However, giving someone an ultimatum like that (them or me) will automatically make her lose. Even if he was weak enough to get rid of his cats for her, he won't be happy and the relationship is ruined anyway.
Divorce is the only correct answer here. Yes, he should absolutely choose the cats over his wife. Her mental disorder makes her a danger to him and the cats, possibly herself and others. She sounds like my obsessive, bipolar ex-wife or some kind of sociopath. Call me an AH if you want, but giving up pets is often a death sentence for them, and no person is worth that.
Wow, that's really messed up behavior from OP's spouse. OP was definitely NTA, his spouse put him in a very difficult situation (on purpose) and his reaction was totally understandable. I will say I find it better to go into difficult situations with an open mind, and withhold accusations. It seems like he set out to prove she was lying about the cats and then accused her of lying. She was lying, so that's fair....but at the same time, calling someone a liar rarely works out well. Going into this situation with an open mind could look like staying up to help deal with the cats (instead of staying up to prove she's lying). And then when talking about it the next day, stick to the facts and seek to understand instead of accuse. "I stayed up last night to deal with the cats so they wouldn't bother you, and they didn't bother you at all last night, yet you say they did. Help me understand what's really going on." All of this is much easier for someone not in the thick of it to comment on.
If you have to lie and act a f*****g child to get what you want from your partner even though they made it clear they are uncomfortable with it you are a piece of s**t , never make someone choose between what's important to them and you if that something was there BEFORE you you came into their life and they came Into yours then to lie about it na f**k that b***h. I hope she does get the help she needs and I hope she grows the f**k up , but she in this moment is an absolute c**t
This is a prime example of reasons ≠ excuses. The mental illness EXPLAINS why she did these but does not EXCUSE them. I hope she does improve with professional help but he is perfectly in his right to burn that bridge to the ground forever
Who's attitude towards the cats is a socially acceptable excuse? The husbands? Maybe he just loves them more than someone who would hurt them, mentally ill or not.
Load More Replies... She is mentally ill he is gaslit and victimized and the cats abused. Not sure how any of that equates to "immature"
Load More Replies... She kicked his cats, lied to him, gaslit him and the broke into the house and robbed him, after destroying the cats' things. I'd be eager to get away from her crazy a*s too.
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