41 Times People Showed Unbelievable Levels Of Selfishness And Entitlement

"A sense of entitlement shows up when people have a belief that they are somehow inherently deserving of special treatment," says mental health counselor and founder of A Braver Space, Gayle Clark, LCSW.

Some signs of entitlement that she mentions include:

1. Lack of empathy—struggling to consider other people’s feelings or perspectives.
2. Unrealistic expectations—expecting special treatment, even when it's not earned.
3. Difficulty accepting “No”—reacting poorly to being denied something and sometimes resorting to anger or manipulation.
4. Rule-breaking—thinking that rules apply to others but not to oneself.
5. Complaints—complaining about being poorly treated or victimized and blaming others when things don't go their way.
6. Rarely saying thank you—not acknowledging help, sacrifice, or kindness from other people.

Marriage and family therapist Dr. Paul Hokemeyer adds that usually, the most apparent sign of all of them that a person is entitled is being highly demanding.

"They feel like they deserve the best of everything, the best table at a restaurant, the best designer accessories, the highest and most prestigious awards. They demand special treatment. They get incensed if they have to wait in a queue or be a part of the challenges of humanity," he explains.

"They also are highly emotional and can easily become unhinged and histrionic when they don't get what they feel they deserve. In my clinical practice, I refer to these clients as having very thin skin. They see nearly everything that even remotely challenges them as a personal affront, and they act out as if they sustained the most egregious insult if their unreasonable and undeserved expectations are unmet."

The entitlement mentality can come from a variety of places. The most common one is childhood. "If a child receives everything they want from their parents/caregivers during their childhood and is rarely told "No," this can cause a sense of entitlement," says therapist and owner of Pathways Counseling KC, Laura Bonk, MA, LCPC, LPC.

When parents give in to children's tantrums and don't teach them to work for what they want, they might start lacking resilience and expect to receive everything they desire in life without any effort.

"Our culture of instant gratification [also] definitely plays a big role in creating entitled individuals and an entitled culture overall," Bonk adds.

Entitlement can also be a characteristic of some diagnosable personality disorders, says Clark, in particular, narcissistic personality disorder.

"It can also be seen in different ways in people with borderline personality disorder, antisocial personality disorder, or dependent personality disorder. There are many people who don't meet the criteria for a diagnosis but may still exhibit narcissistic traits. While it may appear that someone who is entitled thinks highly of themselves, from a mental health perspective, entitlement is often linked to deep-seated insecurity, a fear of rejection, and low self-worth," she explains.

Naturally, the behaviors that entitled people exhibit affect people around them, too. "You know you are in the presence of an entitled person if you feel constantly on edge, constantly wondering if anything you say will offend them," says Dr. Hokemeyer.

"Entitled people are draining. They make you feel emotionally diminished and physically exhausted. They can also evoke strong feelings of anger and resentment. This is due to their projecting airs of superiority over those around them, a superiority I hasten to add that is not justified by any measure. In sort, you feel invisible, devalued, irritated and angry around them."

"Entitled people can be difficult to be around and hard to maintain healthy relationships with," adds Clark. "There are often higher levels of conflict, as they refuse to compromise or take responsibility for their actions. It can be emotionally draining to feel that you constantly have to attend to an entitled person, leaving you feeling drained, used, or manipulated.

Over time, entitlement can lead to resentment and an imbalanced relationship, with one person feeling like they are giving so much more. Accommodating the needs of an entitled person can cause stress, exhaustion, or emotional withdrawal, much like burnout."

If a person notices that the entitlement of others is affecting them in these ways, there are measures they can take to deal with it.

Behavioral relationship expert Tracy Crossley suggests trying out the following ones:

1. Be honest about everything—from keeping expectations in check about what you are willing or not willing to do to saying how you really feel. Saying how you really feel without blaming them is to maintain your own sense of worth (people who are entitled will trample you if allowed to).
2. Stop worrying about their sense of entitlement and instead focus on why another person's wants supersede what you want for yourself.
3. Look at the value of your interactions with them; is this a person you want to spend time with? If you feel you have no choice, then practice self-awareness when the conversation starts to go to their expectations, either state that you don’t wish to talk about it or shift the focus of the conversation, or leave.

"Handling entitled people is a big effort, and one of the first steps is to realize that it is very unlikely that you will be able to change them," notes Clark. "Entitlement continues because, very often, it works for people—they don't necessarily have an incentive to change."

So the best thing to do would be to limit engagement with that person," says Dr. Hokemeyer. "To the extent that's impossible, work on setting personal boundaries around them. To be effective, these boundaries need to be clear, consistent, and enforceable. Your responsibility is to your self-care and peace of mind," he concludes.

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