Tired Of Upper Management Thinking They Have A Noose Around Employees’ Necks, This New Dad Quits In Style
A huge factor why people leave their job is their boss. In fact, a 2018 study found that nearly half of employees surveyed had quit because of a bad manager, and almost two-thirds believed their manager lacked proper managerial training.
A few days ago, Reddit user iBeJoshhh submitted a story to the platform’s ‘Anti Work’ community that perfectly illustrates this problematic reality.
In it, the new dad explained how his toxic supervisor made his time at the company a living hell, and how her actions pushed him to seek employment elsewhere.
This new dad was planning to take paternity leave, but his manager was very much against it
She even went as far as threatening the man
Image credits: Kelly Sikkema (not the actual photo)
After Gallup studied tens of millions of American employees for its ‘State of the American Workplace,’ company CEO Jim Clifton said: “The single biggest decision you make in your job — bigger than all the rest — is who you name manager. When you name the wrong person manager, nothing fixes that bad decision. Not compensation, not benefits — nothing.”
Leadership coach and trainer Marcel Schwantes thinks bosses must set aside their ego and improve in these three areas if they want to make a positive impression on their workers rather than a negative one:
Communication. “Any good leader knows the value of communication,” Schwantes explained for Inc. “In the hybrid workforce model, the skill of effective communication has skyrocketed in value. According to the Predictive Index Report, it’s the number one skill employees feel their manager lacks. Additionally, communication is the top skill employees value in their manager, second only to confidence.”
Psychological safety. To illustrate this point, Schwantes highlighted research on the subject by Amy C. Edmondson of Harvard Business School, which indicates that when leaders foster a culture of safety — where employees are free to speak up, experiment, give feedback, and ask for help — it leads to better learning and performance outcomes. “When psychological safety is absent, fear is present,” Schwantes stressed. “And fear is detrimental to achieving a team’s full potential. We just can’t be engaged or innovative when we are afraid.”
Provide growth opportunities. “It’s a known fact that employees with a career mindset want to work for managers that will help with their career progression. If managers don’t give their employees space to learn, stretch, and grow, and if they don’t provide opportunities for promotion, they can’t expect their talent to remain at their company,” the leadership coach said.
The bottom line is that no group can create a more immediate and positive impact on employees than their managers. So when companies hire someone who lacks relationship-building skills and empathy, and instead of setting up their workers for success are more concerned with their own ambitions, the whole organization will suffer.
People gave OP suggestions on how to go about his departure, and he provided more details on the story
What’s even worse, it’s not like you can just make your managers better by sending them to do a course. American companies spend enormous amounts of money on employee training and education—$160 billion in the United States and close to $356 billion globally in 2015 alone—and are not getting a good return on their investment.
“For the most part, the learning doesn’t lead to better organizational performance, because people soon revert to their old ways of doing things,” researchers Michael Beer, Magnus Finnström, and Derek Schrader wrote in Harvard Business Review.
As the team has found in their studies and teaching and in the advising they’ve done at dozens of companies, as a change strategy, training rarely works. “One manufacturer, for instance, suffered multiple fatalities at its operating plants despite a $20 million investment in a state-of-the-art center for safety training. Participants in corporate education programs often tell us that the context in which they work makes it difficult for them to put what they’re taught into practice,” the researchers highlighted.
A poor return on investment isn’t the only bad outcome of failed training. As it was in this case, employees below the top become cynical, because even though corporate leaders may fool themselves into believing that they are implementing real change, others in the organization know better. So pests like iBeJoshhh’s boss must be gotten rid of for everyone’s sake.
People were disgusted workers are still being treated like this and applauded the OP for quitting in style
In 2002 I was fired while on maternity leave. My supervisor was great until he found out I was pregnant. Turned out he and his wife couldn't get pregnant and I reminded him of that. I was told he had to do his job and mine (graphic design) after that. Within a year he was fired.
Tell me, you are living in USA, without telling you are living in USA ...
Load More Replies...To Michael_G_Bordin's point, it's not just favouritism that causes this. It's the Peter Principle: you promote people who are good at their jobs, until their jobs change so much that they are no longer good at them and then that's where they stay. It's so true & I've seen it in action. We as a society need to recognize that good management is a different set of skills than being good at the work done by the people you're managing. Reward your people by paying them more without changing their jobs, and hire managers to be managers.
This is common for men. Every man I have ever worked with that took more than 1 week leave, unless it was medically necessary (like for a wife's C-section), found themselves out of a job less than 6 months later. I should mention that the poster (assuming they're in the US) wouldn't qualify for FMLA, as they'd been at the job less than a year.
LOL When I had our Son, I was informed I was not to take 1 day off for being pregnant, or I would be fired. It was hell, as I had 6 months of morning sickness ( vomiting at my desk etc.) The day I was to come back... I walked in - looked at the boss and said " I QUIT"! She complained " I should have told her, I was not planning on coming back"... I laughed in her face.
In California, non exempt employees work 12 hours shifts are entitled to 10 minutes rest break every 4 hours (so he should get three 10-minute breaks), a 1/2 hour lunch break for every 8 hours of work, and another 1/2 hour for any shifts over 10 hours. If you don’t get these breaks, it’s 1hr of paid time for every break missed, and another full day of pay for every day you aren’t paid for your missed breaks, up to 30 days. So, say this person was only getting 1 lunch and two breaks, he is owed 2 hours a day of pay for every day he worked a 12 hour shift and didn’t take 5 breaks, plus 12 hours of pay for every day they don’t pony up on the 2 hours.
5 weeks paternity leave? I wonder was his wife handicapped? He was given 5 weeks paternity leave as a new hire? 6 weeks unpaid leave is standard for maternity leave in Arizona. That includes the pregnant worker continues to work until she delivers. Doesn't matter if it is a normal birth or C-section. Fathers get 3 days unpaid leave. Sounds rough I guess but I have never known 1 father that used their paternity leave to change diapers, babysit the older kids, feed the newborn or get up with a crying baby yet. Usually they threw a party at the river or worked on a hobby or kicked back and slept in. What in the world does a new father do for 5 weeks after his wife actually had the kid? Really if a woman/coworker decided she wants to contribute to overpopulation and get pregnant that her choice to make and nobody else's business. However niether she or the husband if that's who is employed and demanding 5 weeks off should expect their coworkers to do their own jobs and his too for 5 weeks.
Get with the times, Becky - it's not the 1950's anymore. Many men really do enjoy being fathers & are willing to step up to parent their newborns/kids on an equal footing with the mothers. If the mom is breastfeeding, the dad can take care of the other child (OP did say he has 2 kids to raise) & the housework so mom can rest & recover. And before you make any assumptions about me, I'm 70 years old (yeah, a Boomer, lol) with a 42 year old son who has been "Mr. Mom" for the last 6 years. I'm very proud of him for stepping up to be a real parent!
Load More Replies...In 2002 I was fired while on maternity leave. My supervisor was great until he found out I was pregnant. Turned out he and his wife couldn't get pregnant and I reminded him of that. I was told he had to do his job and mine (graphic design) after that. Within a year he was fired.
Tell me, you are living in USA, without telling you are living in USA ...
Load More Replies...To Michael_G_Bordin's point, it's not just favouritism that causes this. It's the Peter Principle: you promote people who are good at their jobs, until their jobs change so much that they are no longer good at them and then that's where they stay. It's so true & I've seen it in action. We as a society need to recognize that good management is a different set of skills than being good at the work done by the people you're managing. Reward your people by paying them more without changing their jobs, and hire managers to be managers.
This is common for men. Every man I have ever worked with that took more than 1 week leave, unless it was medically necessary (like for a wife's C-section), found themselves out of a job less than 6 months later. I should mention that the poster (assuming they're in the US) wouldn't qualify for FMLA, as they'd been at the job less than a year.
LOL When I had our Son, I was informed I was not to take 1 day off for being pregnant, or I would be fired. It was hell, as I had 6 months of morning sickness ( vomiting at my desk etc.) The day I was to come back... I walked in - looked at the boss and said " I QUIT"! She complained " I should have told her, I was not planning on coming back"... I laughed in her face.
In California, non exempt employees work 12 hours shifts are entitled to 10 minutes rest break every 4 hours (so he should get three 10-minute breaks), a 1/2 hour lunch break for every 8 hours of work, and another 1/2 hour for any shifts over 10 hours. If you don’t get these breaks, it’s 1hr of paid time for every break missed, and another full day of pay for every day you aren’t paid for your missed breaks, up to 30 days. So, say this person was only getting 1 lunch and two breaks, he is owed 2 hours a day of pay for every day he worked a 12 hour shift and didn’t take 5 breaks, plus 12 hours of pay for every day they don’t pony up on the 2 hours.
5 weeks paternity leave? I wonder was his wife handicapped? He was given 5 weeks paternity leave as a new hire? 6 weeks unpaid leave is standard for maternity leave in Arizona. That includes the pregnant worker continues to work until she delivers. Doesn't matter if it is a normal birth or C-section. Fathers get 3 days unpaid leave. Sounds rough I guess but I have never known 1 father that used their paternity leave to change diapers, babysit the older kids, feed the newborn or get up with a crying baby yet. Usually they threw a party at the river or worked on a hobby or kicked back and slept in. What in the world does a new father do for 5 weeks after his wife actually had the kid? Really if a woman/coworker decided she wants to contribute to overpopulation and get pregnant that her choice to make and nobody else's business. However niether she or the husband if that's who is employed and demanding 5 weeks off should expect their coworkers to do their own jobs and his too for 5 weeks.
Get with the times, Becky - it's not the 1950's anymore. Many men really do enjoy being fathers & are willing to step up to parent their newborns/kids on an equal footing with the mothers. If the mom is breastfeeding, the dad can take care of the other child (OP did say he has 2 kids to raise) & the housework so mom can rest & recover. And before you make any assumptions about me, I'm 70 years old (yeah, a Boomer, lol) with a 42 year old son who has been "Mr. Mom" for the last 6 years. I'm very proud of him for stepping up to be a real parent!
Load More Replies...































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