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70 People Share The Most Absurd And Unexpected Ways Someone They Knew Passed Away
Human mortality has caused us anguish as far back as we have written history. After all, the Epic of Gilgamesh is largely about dealing with the passing of Gilgamesh’s best buddy. But that doesn’t mean that humans treat danger as seriously as they should.
Someone asked the internet to share the dumbest stories of how someone passed and netizens did just that. Be warned, dumb can be funny, but a few of these tales are also pretty morbid. Otherwise, get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote your favorites and be sure to share your own experiences below.
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#1
A guy I went to HS with bragged that he refused to approve sick days for his employees to get the Covid vaccine (The “Biden P***k,” as he called it).
He d**d from Covid in 2022. My sympathies were…limited.
RELATED:
#2
My moms cousin was dating the dumbest person we'd ever met.
He is actually in the Darwin awards. He's the guy who smoked inside the firework warehouse he worked at because it was raining outside. Blew up the warehouse and was gone.
#3
I work in cancer care, and the answer is always "I've decided to go an alternate route."
We can't stop them. But that alternative route always ends one of two ways. We receive a notice that they've passed away, or they come back and instead of stage 1 or 2 (highly treatable for most cancers), they are now stage 4 with metastases with limited options and possibly only palliative or hospice options.
Recently had a patient I liked who disappeared for a couple years because she was "going to try holistic instead." She came back when she was in terrible pain. The previously easy to treat cancer had spread to her bones, causing fractures, and just... everywhere else. All we could offer was palliative. She passed away a few months later.
Chich the witch 1 hour ago
I have survived cancer a few times. A definite "Yay!" for evil western medicine from me.
#4
A friend from h**h school was a cave diver and diving instructor. Various cave diving sites have different suggested levels of certification to safely dive. On his last day, he and a friend were in a dive shop discussing the dive they were planning. Someone in the shop who knew him pointed out that neither he nor his friend had reached the level of certification for that cave. His last known words as he left the shop were something like, "There's no such thing as dive police."
Their bodies were recovered a few days later. He left a wife and two small children.
#5
He didn’t d*e, but my husband’s uncle decided it was a good idea to climb a metal ladder in the middle of a storm. The wind blew the ladder onto a power line. The current entered through one arm and exited through the opposite leg. He lost that arm and leg. From then on, he was known as my husband’s half uncle.
#6
I knew a guy who got hit by a train because he had his headphones on and didn’t hear it coming. Unfortunatelly noise cancellation is really good.
#7
Deliberately caught COVID to prove it was harmless; d**d of COVID.
#8
Went to college with a guy who got sepsis from licking a mystery liquid while doing urban exploration in an old hospital. We weren't friends but he was in one of my classes and it was not surprising that he passed away from something stupid.
#9
Went kayaking while drunk. Without a life jacket. Dude couldn’t swim.
Fat Harry (Oi / You) 12 hours ago
I'm always amazed when I hear about people who can't swim. It's such a basic life skill. How are people reaching adulthood and not being able to swim? In England and Wales it's even on the national curriculum. Swimming has to be taught in school.
#10
I don't think it was dumb, but it was definitely a f***k accident. Relatively new dad went golfing with his buddies on a Sunday morning. He missed a shot and hit his club against a rock in mock anger. It broke. Broken club flew up in his carotid artery. He was gone by that night.
#11
Coworker years ago. Power was shut off due to lack of payment. He bypassed the shut off on the house so electrical company shut the power off at the transformer on the pole. He backed his pickup truck with a picnic table in the box to the pole. Set up a ladder on the table and use the garden rake to attempt to turn the power on. Might have been safer to pay the electric bill.
#12
My firefighter uncle passed away from a tooth pick getting stuck in his throat after taking a bite of a sandwich.
Kristy Marion 14 hours ago
This is so awful, bc you know amongst the terror and fear is the thought "I can't believe this is how it ends"
#13
Caught a rare disease from their pet rat. Sad and weird and came totally out of nowhere. Now I flinch if someone I know gets a pet rat.
#14
Dropped a frozen turkey into a deep fryer in his garage.
Lady Eowyn 8 hours ago
Thanksgiving is coming up, I expect we'll be hearing more about this type of thing.
#15
Never actually met the guy, but he was my sister in law's ex husband. He went out drinking with his new wife. He was too drunk to drive so she drove them home. He was passed out and too drunk for her to get him out of the car so she left him there and went inside. She fell asleep (I think she was pretty drunk, too). He froze.
Nicole Weymann 12 hours ago
Soooo happy that wifey was "sober" enough to drive before getting comatose on the couch at home. /S
#16
I had a girl who used to work for me that I eventually had to fire because she was pathologically incapable of not inserting herself into drama. She would continuously insert herself into the middle of any argument or disagreement and fan the flames wildly. She moved 2 states away and was k****d in a drive-by by local g**g members because of some drama at work she involved herself in.
Edit to add another I just thought of that u/future_speedbump made me think of. A manager at another store in our district told an employee trying to call out with COVID that she had to come to work. She did, the entire management staff got sick. He d**d in the hospital 3 days after showing symptoms.
#17
Hit a train at a gate crossing in a sports car. Not the front of the train, the side of the train. In daylight, clear weather, no ice. Guy was a mechanic with his brand new dream car.
#18
Engine antifreeze drinking contest. Yes you read that right. One d**d, one pretty messed up.
#19
My uncle survived throat cancer. He passed away not even a month after being cleared by choking on pizza crust. He had a hard time swallowing after having a trache for so long.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 11 hours ago
Atrophy of the throat muscles sets in FAST :( My dad was in a coma for 6 months after his accident, but that was all it took - the atrophy was so bad that he could never safely swallow/eat food again for the rest of his life. He got aspiration pneumonia several times because my mother refused to accept this fact, and she kept trying to feed him food by mouth. He would choke on it and yay, pneumonia again! With a tracheostomy (such as OP's uncle had), the normal "pathway" of swallowing gets disrupted, and the decline of functionality can start happening literally as soon as 72 hours after.
#20
One of my patients thought that if you strained antifreeze thru wonderbread it was safe to drink.
#21
I have two:
First was a guy who loved to decorate elaborately for Christmas. He was hanging decorations in his bathroom and stood on the toilet. Somehow he slipped off, hit his head on the sink and d**d.
Second was a former client. He was a white collar guy with a vacation home in a rural part of Michigan. He went up there alone to have focused quite time. There was a big storm and a tree fell across his driveway. This was a long driveway surrounded by forest off the main road. He decides he can use a chainsaw and chop up the tree because he was expecting a FedEx delivery later that day and for whatever reason wanted the delivery to make it all the way up to the house.
He had no business trying to use a chainsaw but he fired it up. The rest is speculation because there was no witness. But what we think happened was he was trying to cut up the fallen tree and the chainsaw kicked back and decapitated him. Right there in the driveway. FedEx driver found him a couple hours afterwards. I’ve always thought about that d**n FedEx guy coming upon that scene…
#22
Tried to rob a d**g d***er with an airsoft g*n.
#23
Kid in h**h school I knew got partially paralyzed when ejected from his car driving stupid with no seat belt. Worked on physical therapy and whatnot for a while, dad bought him a new SUV converted for him to drive it while still partially paralyzed. Drove stupid again with no seat belt and ejected again when he crashed, but that time he d**d.
StarCrossedFriday 13 hours ago
Can the censorship at the very least, please, just make sense in context?
#24
About 25 years ago, our friend’s uncle d**d: choking on a hotdog, alone in his hotel room. Not embarrassing, BUT the dramatic way my friend was sobbing and yelled at us through tears “my uncle was so f*****g successful, did so much for this country! But everyone will remember he CHOKED ON A HOTDOG … FOREVER!!”
I’ve told that story so many times - that I guess she’s right.
Beak Hookage 13 hours ago
How did Terry Pratchett put it? "You can be a great and powerful ruler who writes new laws and wins every war, but if you f**k just one goat..."
#25
Doctors son, typical rich kid. He got a brand new high performance car for his 16th birthday. He was a menace. Burning rubber around the school parking lot. Kids that were his friends even refused to ride with him. That was how reckless he was. Wrapped the car around an oak tree driving to school one day. Had the car maybe six months. Thankfully only he was gone.
#26
Thought it was a good idea to go swimming in the canals of Amsterdam while drunk, and in winter.
#27
A high school classmate burglarized a house while its owners were at church. He stole some guns and sporting equipment, then tripped on the steps on the way out and s*****d himself in the stomach with an arrow. He pulled out the arrow and made it back to his pickup truck, but bled out a half-mile from the house he'd robbed.
Beak Hookage 13 hours ago
Protip: if something gets stuck in you like this, DON'T pull it out or you'll likely suffer the same fate as this poor idiot.
#28
Went off the marked path in a park and fell off a cliff.
#29
Drinking on a balcony with mates. Had more beers in the apartment next door. Balconies were not right next to eachother, but linked by a metal bar between the railings. He went next door to get more beers, and in order to save himself a few seconds then tried to balance across the metal bar carrying a case of beers. He didn't make it and fell 5 stories to his d***h.
#30
One of my great uncles (mom's dad's brother) was a bad alcoholic, and was the type to get really angry when he was drunk. One night he got into an argument with his wife over.. the furniture? He went out to the shed to get his chainsaw and just started chopping s**t up. In the midst of his blind/drunken rage, the chainsaw bounced against something and went straight into his throat, nearly cut his head clean off
This happened long before I was born but my mom always told me about it as to why alcohol is dangerous and it's always stuck with me.
#31
There was a young woman I worked with, who by total coincidence was my next door neighbor a few years later. Her boyfriend d**d in a freak accident in the mountains of Utah. A few months after his d***h, she went to those same mountains to spread his ashes. She fell to her d***h while emptying the urn.
#32
Dude went to the hospital for something, don't exactly remember what it was (maybe heart related, maybe early stages OD), docs treated him for like a week in hospital, told him he needed to stop drinking and doing d***s immediately and completely or he would d*e.
Dude is released from hospital, goes to a party that night, does d***s and drinks, d**s that night.
Michael Largey 3 hours ago (edited)
Mark Twain's doctor told him he needed to reduce his consumption of whisky and cigars. Twain replied, "Doctor, I can't do that. I can cut them out completely, but I lack the will power for moderation."
#33
Two middle schoolers were building a tunnel. They were a year ahead of me. It collapsed, one of them managed to wriggle out, but he couldn’t dig out his best friend.
Horrible guilt. Don’t dig tunnels unless you went to Colorado school of mines, my friends.
Beak Hookage 13 hours ago
Watched a chestcam video on YouTube in which these two 14 year old boys accidentally buried themselves alive digging tunnels in sand. Neither of them survived.
#34
My mum d**d after rolling her mobility scooter.
In other news, don’t get a three wheel mobility scooter.
#35
I didn't technically know him, but a friend of mine's neighbor came home drunk, passed out in his front yard, and drowned in his kids' kiddie pool. His wife found him the next morning..
#36
Guy I knew who was really athletic and our HS team running back tried to race our other two friends who were both overweight in a swimming race at a lake. Everyone was s***faced. The athletic dude actually tired out and drowned. It was so sad and a waste. The two fat guys didn't.
#37
Someone in my family was in a wheelchair, an elderly person. A garbage truck backed up on him in an alley. He didn't d*e from the shock, his wheelchair was only knocked over, the driver stopped in time to avoid the worst. He d**d of an heart attack before the ambulance could reach him. Literally d**d of fear.
#38
My dad was 3/4 of a yr sober for the first time in my entire life (mid-20s at time), and decided to drink in celebration of the fact he just got a new apt, and also just got his license (and job) back.
When he chose to sober up, he had a massive heart attack and d**d on the spot. Half an uneaten ham sandwich on the counter.
Michael Largey 3 hours ago
You don't choose to sober up from a bout of drinking. Your body chemistry decides it for you.
#39
I had an elderly great-uncle that had a heart attack while in bed with an adult worker. His wife went scorched earth on Facebook and then gleefully spent all his money.
#40
Ran into his yard to catch his cat that ran out the backdoor. Stepped on something. Two weeks later, feeling really bad and going to the hospital and d***g of tetanus infection.
OK, not "dumb" but he was an immigrant and maybe didn't have up to date tetanus vaccination. The situation is dumb, not the guy. All he thought was "dammit, I stepped on some nail or something, slapped a bandaid on it and went on with life, then d**d.
Squirrelly Panda 11 hours ago
Generally speaking, it's a good idea to get (or at least ask a doctor about) a tetanus booster whenever you get a puncture wound. A low risk vaccine to avoid a nasty d***h. No harm I'm seeking a professional opinion even if it seems to be something minor.
#41
A guy in h**h-school (my best friends boyfriend)
He was fixing his car in the garage and my friend went over and found him. His Mom was home, and when my friend went over, his mom let her through the house and said, hes just in the garage, go on through. It was a very cold night and he closed the garage door. He was under the car when she found him.
This was 40 yrs ago, we were 17. At that point i had never learned not to close your garage door with the engine on.
#42
School ended, did a burnout at the school parking lot. Sped onto the country road, lost control and drove into a ditch going like 50-60 mph.
#43
Coworker d**d tripping on his own dog leash.
Fat Harry (Oi / You) 12 hours ago
I tripped yesterday while leading three horses in from the field. All three just stood there and looked at me...
#44
Never slowed down in his speed boat no matter how choppy the water was. Took the wrong wave at 80+ MPH, was gone by the time the boat stopped rolling.
#45
By crawling under a house during a freeze to thaw what he thought was the water line with a blowtorch. It was the gas line.
#46
Guy decided to climb up high tension power lines. Got pretty high up and decided it would be fun to p*e off the tower. The power lines arced to his urine stream and he was electrocuted. Ouch.
#47
High school.
Slid down the stairs on a mattress.
Crashed into the glass panels on the side of the front door.
Severed artery under armpit.
Bled to d***h.
Phantom Phoenix 4 hours ago
That first word! My eyes! Whatever will become of me having seen a forbidden word uncensored?
#48
Got drunk, had a handgun, and got into one of those "oh you don't think I will???" arguments with his cousin.
#49
My cousin's first husband was attempting to change the tire on the family van that morning. The jack he used didn't hold while he was under the vehicle.
Always use a cinder block or something else actually stable before getting underneath a vehicle. He was a really good guy and left behind some children who are now adults. They deserved to have their dad growing up.
Fat Harry (Oi / You) 12 hours ago
I always put the wheel I've taken off under the car, just in case the jack collapses. Although.... why would you be *under* the vehicle to change a wheel?
#50
Had a friend a couple decades back who got wasted on a few different substances and then decided to take a nice, speedy drive down the freeway. In a Miata. She flipped it and became a meat crayon.
#52
The town pool where I grew up is built around a natural spring pond so even off season it is mostly full of water. A kid in my year in high school was goofing around with friends late one night in the middle of winter. He wanted to do something funny to impress the girls in the group. While wearing multiple heavy warm layers of clothing, he jumped into the deep end of the pond. He had no idea how to swim and promptly drowned.
#53
On a first date, walking on the roof of an apartment building and tried to jump across the next one, but tripped and fell 5 stories.
#54
Ran across the train tracks in front of his girlfriend to get a lighter.
#55
Coworker. Married her boyfriend of 20 years in October of 2020. Big traditional redneck wedding with a buffet. I was one of the few who masked and didn’t eat.
She predictably caught Covid, hospitalized in November, d**d by Thanksgiving. I had a lot of guilt and shame for going in the first place.
#56
They went river rafting in a flash flood zone. That ran in the middle of our school.
We found the raft with no one in it a few miles down river.
Bodies were recovered some time after:/ hardly knew the kids but they made it to the 7th grade.
#57
Not me, but one person removed.
A friend went to highschool with the first person k****d by an alligator in the state of Texas in something like 80 years.
His last words were "F**k that Gator!"
#58
Sat on a glass coffee table. Big shard of glass right up the wazoo, severing everything in its path. Multi-organ failure, massive bleed-out.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 11 hours ago
There's a glass table in my house; it used to be my mom's next door, but she shoved it into this house when she got tired of it and bought a new table. I left it in the front room with a tablecloth on it. My cats like to jump onto it. Now I'm scared I'm going to end up with cat nuggets at some point. Maybe it's time to bin that table.
#59
Kid I kinda knew in high school was at the south end of a northbound platform on the subway. He poked his head around the corner to see if the train was coming. It was and pretty much took his head clean off.
#60
Country club golf pro degenerate gambler and raging alcoholic drowned in the water hazard after driving into it.
#61
Had an uncle d*e from stubbing his pinkie toe really bad. He refused to go to a Dr, it turned infected then septic.
Ashtophet’sRevenge 9 hours ago
I have always been prone to catching my toes on things, my kids do it too… sorry kids, genetics is weird!
#63
Stole a motorbike and immediately crashed it in to a tree.
Norm Gilmore 10 hours ago
A friend had his Ducati stolen. A couple of days later the thief slid it into a power pole. Bike was a write off. As was the thief...
#64
Carbon p*******g. Classmate working on truck with his dad, shut the garage door due to rain and both suffocated inside.
#65
Tried to inhale helium off the tank at a 5 year olds birthday party so he could make funny voices. Exploded his lungs in front of twenty 5 year olds and d**d.
Ace 9 hours ago
Put his mouth directly round the nozzle? Oops. I don't like the use of the word exploded though - conjures up that grizzly scene from "Live and Let D*e" where the bad guy inflates like a balloon and then explodes - in reality there could be massive internal damage but no visible 'explosion'.
#66
Complained of feeling really bad for several days but drank four pitchers of margaritas one night and was found d**d in his big rig fifty miles away the next day by the DPS (highway patrol).
#67
Huffing canned air in the parking lot of the store they stole/bought it from. I say stole/bought because she had a tendency to steal it and I don’t remember if she bought or stole this one.
#68
At a high school party this kid saw one of his friends leaving and thought he'd be funny to jump out in front of the vehicle to scare the driver. He got hit and d**d.
#69
Friends kid just recently dove from a bridge during a 1000 year flood. They didn’t find his body for days. High schooler with his whole life in front of him.
What do you think ?
Bruce Mardle 14 hours ago
Some useful cautionary tales. (Maybe I won't use the chainsaw I inherited.)
Elladine DesIsles 12 hours ago
No d*aths in my best story, but there easily could have been. The house across the street from mine, growing up, was owned by a brother and sister who had inherited it jointly, and lived there with the sister's husband and kids. The brother was a bachelor, and a hunter, and a smoker. So of course, late one night he fell asleep with a lit cigarette and started a fire, in his room where he kept his rifles and ammo. We and other neighbours were awakened in the morning by police going door to door, warning everyone to go to the back of our houses and stay away from the windows, as the house became an inferno filled with live ammunition. The first time, somehow, the family had good insurance coverage. They rebuilt the house a bit bigger and better. But yes, I said "the first time."
Elladine DesIsles 12 hours ago
Because Uncle Ronnie did not quit smoking, and he did not quit hunting. And inevitably, a few years later, another dropped cigarette and the house went up in flames again. This time, the insurance situation was very different after the first fire. They were lucky, in both cases, that the whole family escaped with their lives. But the second time they lost everything.
Load More Replies... Chich the witch 1 hour ago
Started a new job and at lunch people were talking about a guy who had worked there for years, well past when he could have retired. Finally packed it in and dropped d**d at his retirement party.
Bruce Mardle 14 hours ago
Some useful cautionary tales. (Maybe I won't use the chainsaw I inherited.)
Elladine DesIsles 12 hours ago
No d*aths in my best story, but there easily could have been. The house across the street from mine, growing up, was owned by a brother and sister who had inherited it jointly, and lived there with the sister's husband and kids. The brother was a bachelor, and a hunter, and a smoker. So of course, late one night he fell asleep with a lit cigarette and started a fire, in his room where he kept his rifles and ammo. We and other neighbours were awakened in the morning by police going door to door, warning everyone to go to the back of our houses and stay away from the windows, as the house became an inferno filled with live ammunition. The first time, somehow, the family had good insurance coverage. They rebuilt the house a bit bigger and better. But yes, I said "the first time."
Elladine DesIsles 12 hours ago
Because Uncle Ronnie did not quit smoking, and he did not quit hunting. And inevitably, a few years later, another dropped cigarette and the house went up in flames again. This time, the insurance situation was very different after the first fire. They were lucky, in both cases, that the whole family escaped with their lives. But the second time they lost everything.
Load More Replies... Chich the witch 1 hour ago
Started a new job and at lunch people were talking about a guy who had worked there for years, well past when he could have retired. Finally packed it in and dropped d**d at his retirement party.
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