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“Every woman knows what I’m talking about,” wrote the author Rebecca Solnit in her hugely influential portion of the essay “Men Explain Things To Me” which first appeared in the 2008 Los Angeles Times. It’s when the concept of ‘mansplaining’ was born, and it refers to men explaining something to a woman in a condescending, overconfident, and often inaccurate manner without being asked to do so.

According to Solnit, men explaining things to women is not an innocent act, but rather it trains them into self-limitation and self-doubt, and further fuels men’s unsupported confidence.

Fast forward to today, and women around the world still find themselves being mansplained to like it was no big deal. So when Twitter user Priscilla tweeted a question “What’s the dumbest thing that’s ever been mansplained to you?” it immediately went viral with 340.2K likes.

It turned out she was far from the only one whose “husband let her know their home was 'up ahead on the left'” when she was driving. Many more women joined the thread to share their experiences of men lecturing them, and if it’s not illuminating, I don’t know what is.

Image credits: itsPKav

#1

Dumbest-Mansplaining

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Samantha Lomb
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think I would have had a conversation with the manager at that point.

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Night Owl
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Right after I ask the Home Depot guy what made him think my brother would be able to use it properly, and since when it's his job to deny service to customers who he "thinks" wouldn't be able to use the product, since when it's his job to determine which customer would be able to use which products and on hand wich criteria he does that, how he knows that I'm buying it for myself to use ... so many questions

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Rissie
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would love to explain the actual chemistry going on to that s**t for brains. Again in kindergarten teacher mode.

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Hiker Chick
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I felt this one! I'm a middle-aged lady renovating my kitchen myself and will only have to hire out the lighting and countertop. I've been going to big box hardware and tile stores a couple times a week since before Christmas. The number of times I've been looking for a specific type of item and had the employee cluelessly look at a product and read the label out loud to me has been astonishing. Like, I might not know which hinge type will work with my antique cabinets, but shouldn't the expert working on the kitchen department actually try to help me? And when I met with the tile person and asked about difficulty of installing different styles, they continually told me that the contractor would know how, even after I kept saying I was the one doing the installation. YouTube has been the the best source of information. Much better than the blank stares of incomprehension I get when a tiny female is asking questions about advantages of one type of power tool vs another.

kjorn avatar
kjorn
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

that is just plain stupid. why assume a woman don't know what epoxy is? pretty sure many guys don't know what it is

kalowry avatar
Kelly Tinker
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a woman who does everything around the house from electrical work, plumbing, tiling, framing, etc.....I hate Home Depot male staff. I don't even bother asking for help anymore. I usually just get met with "do you have someone at home that can use those tools/ materials?" Or other comments that assume I don't know the right side of a hammer

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Hannah M
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even without the whole sexism thing, what kind of person would just lie and say they don't stock something because they think their customer - a functioning adult - wouldn't be able to handle it properly, because it's 'too complicated'? And when the product isn't, like, a chainsaw or something. That's just dumb

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Danieletc
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Two-thirds of Home Depot's surly staff basically "noobsplains" to anyone that asks them a question. They have a reputation for it.

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D Schweitzer
Community Member
3 years ago

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They have helped me a lot by doing so. Sounds like you have the problem.

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Louloubelle
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes, well Home Depot is the store that hosted DIY workshops, and had some called Do-it-herself, and they were all arts & crafts stuff. But show up at one for, oh say, tiling, and they ask where your husband is.

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Stacy S.
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dr Babcock, did you eventually strike his balls, slap him, or was he humiliated ?

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Becca Babcock
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, after I asked him which part was penis-operated, since obviously that was the reason I couldn't use the product, he gawped, and I flounced out. It's the most clever I've ever been IRL.

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Brandi VanSteenwyk
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'll pick my jaw up off the floor now. Disgustingly sexist to the max!

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Teresa Taylor
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would politely get his name and let him and his manager know they would be hearing from my attorney. I would actually contact my friend, who is an attorney, and file sexual discrimination charges against the employee, the manager and the store.

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Jenný Samúelsdóttir Herlufsen
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hate to say it, but someone would die a tragic (not so tragic) death if I were to encounter that kind of an idiot!

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Boopie Dew
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This would piss me off on so many levels, that guy would have seen the female side of hell. One that would remind him that we're capable of anything, he'd have been wearing that epoxy all while hearing me explain every fact about why and how he should get that off very quickly.

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Jamesisjames
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even if you happen to "not" know how exactly to use it, which you told him you did There are usually directions on the back.

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Aileen
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would just start asking questions as to why he acted that way. I guarantee he wouldn't have a good answer.

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Strawberry Hellcat
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Reminds me of the time I took a male friend auto shopping. Parked my Jeep just outside the showroom. I built it for serious off-roading and anyone watching through the wraparound glass walls could see that I got out of the driver's side of the vehicle. The n*b of a salesman goes out, looks it over and starts talking to MY FRIEND about trading it in! I said, "No - he's not trading in MY Jeep." Last time I ever set foot in that dealership too. Edit: for clarification. my friend was also wearing nice pants/shoes and a sleek black leather jacket, while I was wearing jeans/work boots and a barn coat. Um...duh?

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Geoff Scott
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

“I’m sorry DOCTOR I don’t think you’re smart enough.” Random Home Depot guy ffs

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Marlowe Fitzpatrik
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This never happened to me, ever. Once, a guy sent me to the garden-section when I asked for shrink-hose (you know, the stuff that shrinks when you heat it) but I'm very confident that the guy was just stupid and didn't know himself 😄 Found it myself after his useless 'help'. But normally, when I ask for something and salespeople know their shop, I get it without question. Could be a jackhammer or a flamethrower. Maybe I just look very confident

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Heather Menard
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's a man thing talking to a manager won't help. I worked for homedepot. One day comes in and asked for a nailerr for bamboo floor. I had previously gone through this with another customer. I told him he needed a stapler. He would not believe me and wasted an hour and half to find out I was right

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deanna woods
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would have left that Home Depot and taken my business elsewhere.

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LeilaOdinis
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I tell them I grew up in a carpentry shop and they shut up quick.

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Christine Ladyman
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

These men so need a good smack in the head! Are they raised to think we're stupid, or is it inherent! !

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Colin Mochrie At Its Finest
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Get your "I need to talk to a manager" hair cut and pulla Karen. Speak to that man then the manager. Or womanger. See...we create sexism ourselves. MANager.

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Euna Magbitang
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It would be cool if she was like, "Oh, I know how it works." And explained how it worked to the Home Depot Guy. He would probably be so amazed.

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Stacy S.
Community Member
3 years ago

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I like to ask the sexist sales guys " Excuse me Boomer, do you know what century this is?" Then Yelp! Him specifically at that store.

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Duna Typhon
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3 years ago

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I'll take "THINGS THAT NEVER HAPPENED" for $500, Alex.....

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Bored Panda reached out to the writer, designer, and content creator Priscilla Kavanaugh, who’s the person behind this viral Twitter thread. Priscilla, who runs the blog “Bonjouritchesblog.com,” believes that the reasons for mansplaining have to do with “boys and young men who are empowered in different ways than girls and young women.”

For example, “Girls are taught to 'be nice,' while boys are taught to be fearless.” “Of course,” she added, “it's not as black and white as that, but I think that's a big chunk. We have a lot of work to do!”

When asked what she thinks is the best reaction you can give if you're mansplained to, Priscilla said that her go-to in a sticky situation is “to make a joke, which surely isn't always the best route.” She also stressed that it’s really difficult to be prepared simply because “you never know when you'll find yourself being mansplained to.”

#4

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troufaki13
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My bf once tried to explain to my DENTIST brother the difference between black and white fillings. He insisted that black ones are better because he "read an article online 10 years ago"

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#5

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Kill-Bunny
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

An older male gynecologist tried to explain to me, that all my pains are imaginary (it was a 2 week follow-up appointment after I was delivered to the same hospital unconscious from my period pain with my pants all soaked in blood and pain medication not working) and that I should see I psychiatrist instead or try other methods to seek attention from people, so I would not disturb doctors. "Periods are not that bad" - he said, "Look at men, we don't have to imagine sickness to get attention" - he said. Took some time to get the right diagnosis. It was not in my head.

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#6

Dumbest-Mansplaining

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Rissie
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just because you speak it, doesn' t mean you... I got nothing, sorry.

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That doesn’t change the fact that mansplaining is indeed an inherently wrong practice. “Mansplaining is extremely demeaning. Being mansplained to makes one feel 'less than,' and as if one's knowledge isn't worth respecting. Over time, it creates patterns of silence—women simply stop advocating for themselves or sharing ideas because it's exhausting.”

And when it comes to her Twitter thread, Priscilla said that she truly realized that mansplainers “know no boundaries.” On the other hand, “I also learned that there are men out there that are open to learning and trying to put a stop to their own mansplaining; that was very encouraging.”

Thanks to her thread going viral, Priscilla has also interacted with a lot of women who had tons of interesting perspectives. “I asked many of them if I could share their stories in a book, and the response I got was overwhelmingly positive. I really hope I can get it published someday. I think it could be a fun, useful tool for shifting this behavior.”

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American writer Rebecca Solnit, whose 2008 essay “Men Explain Things to Me” helped to give birth to the term “mansplaining,” helped to define the phenomenon with which too many women could relate. Translated into multiple languages, the text inspired many memes, parodies, and ongoing discussions on whether the term has actually done more harm than good.

When asked about what Solnit thinks of the term today, the writer told The Washington Post recently that “I used to focus on its negatives: It does get used too broadly at times, and it can imply that anything men hold forth on is mansplaining.”

#10

Dumbest-Mansplaining

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Mohsie Supposie
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Act completely dumb. Let him tune it. Play something horrible. Retune it correctly. Then play something nice and see his face change!

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#11

Dumbest-Mansplaining

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chi-wei shen
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I recommend to use the heaviest frying pan but she most likely would do this anyway.

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Having said that, the author added that women have been pointing out the incredible value in the term, which helped to describe “an experience most women have but didn’t have terminology for, beyond generics like patronizing, presumptuous, and so forth.”

“I often talk about the importance of calling things by their true name, of the value of precise description, so I’m pleased to have inspired a word that is now in many languages, including, recently, Icelandic,” Solnit commented.

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#14

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Agfox
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, that's once instance where you'd have to think really hard about whether it would be worth losing a dose or stabbing him with your epipen

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#15

Dumbest-Mansplaining

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Rebel
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've had the same, the guy told me at the end of the night: "thanks for helping me!" And mansplaining like 10 things to me. I literally worked there for 2 nights a week for a full year, he had worked there a couple of times and did one shift with me..

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In 2018, another author and design executive Kim Goodwin went viral with a chart she created to help to show men if they were mansplaining or not. Her “Am I Mansplaining?” chart has amassed 124.5k likes and 58.9k retweets on Twitter.

While drawing the chart, Kim realized “the '-splaining' part comes down to three factors.” First, it’s all about whether “they want the explanation?” She proceeds to explain further: “If someone asks you a question, explain away! Unsolicited explanations may be fine (within reason) if you’re someone’s teacher or manager. Explaining after they’ve declined your help is almost always disrespectful.”

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Secondly, you should ask yourself if you “Are you making bad assumptions about competence?” According to Kim, “explaining things to knowledgeable people isn’t just wasting everyone’s time, and you may, regardless of your intent, undermine them by implying you don’t trust their competence or intelligence.” Moreover, “You also run the risk of undermining yourself by looking like you have an inflated opinion of your own knowledge.”

And thirdly, Kim asks “How does bias affect your interpretation of the above?” since “both questions are complicated by sexism and other kinds of bias.” According to her, we’re all taught gender bias from an early age, “with boys and girls being criticized and praised for different behaviors in school.”

Even though we like to think that we treat people in a fair manner, it’s not often the case. “Men often assume women are less competent, and white people are likely to assume darker skin equals lower intelligence,” Kim concluded.

#19

Dumbest-Mansplaining

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Sarcastic Panda
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

ah, I see. tell me more about the things I've lived with for my whole life.

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#20

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Rissie
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just say "Thank you deary, now shush shush and move along, tut tut". And make those hand movements kindergarten teachers make when they are interrupted and send kids along.

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#23

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lenka
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They could start the conversation by asking a question about why she's wearing bees? Maybe asking if she really likes bees or asking why she likes bees? There are lots of ways to start a conversation that dont assume the person you are speaking to is completely ignorant of [insert any] topic.

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#25

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N G
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Don't get me started on the Brexiteer crowd who insist that Britain isn't geographically part of Europe. Not politically - that point has already been addressed. These morons insist that the physical island itself (including NI, which I just overlook because my brain hurts at this point) is not part of the collection of countries, including those outside the EU, known as Europe. So... which of the seven continents does it belong in then?

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#26

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Samantha Lomb
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

yeah the wetness of the grass has nothing to do with it. Though if you fixed the lawnmower like my dad used to ( with much swearing and occassional flying objects) Mr. mansplain will stay away

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#28

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Charlotte
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They're only one letter different and both did art - basically the same person, right?

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#29

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Samantha Lomb
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wanna bet the mansplainer was white too, just for another extra layer of irony?

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#31

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Carol Emory
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You wonder sometimes if they Mansplain because they are verbally reminding THEMSELVES on how to do something, but don't want to seem like idiots for talking to no one.

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#32

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Stille20
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So the comment that is causing a ruckus is "he was trying to help". It misses the point. It was a parent, jumping in from the sidelines to comment on something they had never done. Regardless of gender it is not helpful

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#34

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Sarcastic Panda
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

because they know SOOOOO much more about it. (that was sarcasm by the way.)

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#35

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Joey Marlin
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Worse than mansplaining as there was no explanation. This is high level patronisation.

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#37

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Bobert Robertson
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is not mansplaining or toxic masculinity, this is just a husband trying to help when his wife is struggling.

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#38

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Charlotte
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

TIL "coozie" is the name for those insulating can holder sleeve things. But I thought the main aim was to stop the can becoming warm and your hand not getting cold was just a side perk?

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#40

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