I've had anxiety for as long as I can remember. Like most children, I was scared of the dark, unsettled by shadows, afraid of the hallway after bedtime. All of those places were where monsters lived.
It wasn't monsters I was scared of though. It was unknown. Monsters were just how my mind made sense of it. Most childhood fears are reasoned away by grown-up thoughts, but adulthood has its own collection of worries.
Responsibilities, expectations, commitments; these are just new masks on old monsters. When my heart races or skips a beat, or if I get shaky and nervous with an impulse to run, I have to remind myself that monsters don't exist.
I do this by drawing- by giving the feeling shape I can give some finite form to the infinite unknown. If there's a way out, it's through a door I create.