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32 Things People Didn’t Realize Were Optional In Life Until They Saw Someone Not Doing Them
Have you ever been stuck doing something that you hate wholeheartedly, but thought you had no choice but to keep doing it? Well, it happens to the best of us. The same goes for these netizens.
They were doing something tedious until they realized they’d only been led to believe it was mandatory, when in reality it was optional all along. And all it took was witnessing someone else choose to opt out of it.
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#2
Saying “thank you for the invitation, but I/we won’t be able to make it!” to a social invite without providing a detailed explanation about WHY you can’t attend.
#3
I've got this great ironing hack called "Don't buy clothes that need ironing."
I have two full suits, a dark grey 3 piece and a lighter grey 2 piece, 1 pair of khaki dress pants, and two dress shirts pressed and starched by our local cleaners hanging up in my closet along with a couple of ties and all the needed rigamrole.
Everything else... it maxes out at "Business or Dress Casual" and if it doesn't come out of the dryer and you can hang it up wrinkle free, it doesn't go into my normal rotation. I don't even own an iron or fabric steamer.
And I don't want to hear one word about being lazy. I was in Uncle Sam's Floating House of Shooty Ships for 20 years. I pressed and creased and ironed and spit shined and shaped hats and bloused boots and all that jazz for two f*****g decades, I paid whatever "Prove you are capable of maintaining complicated clothing" dues you could even dream of. I'm done.
One of the biggest questions in philosophy is whether we have free will or not. Basically, what this thought experiment is asking is whether all of our actions are predetermined (or in other words, not free) or whether we are free agents in charge of our decisions.
Since the current (who knows what the future holds) scientific method does not have the means to prove or disprove it, we have to rely on the ponderings of philosophers.
#4
That you don’t actually have to have an opinion on everything.
Watching someone say “I don’t know enough about that to comment” made me realize silence is an option too.
#5
I was working hard at my first job. Working late, answering emails at 10 PM, 'going the extra mile.' I thought that's what 'good employees' did.
Then I saw a senior guy on my team—super respected, brilliant at his job—log off at 4:59 PM. Every. Single. Day.
I once saw a manager try to give him weekend work, and he just... looked at him blankly and said, 'No. I won't be doing that. See you Monday.
My jaw hit the floor. The world didn't end. He wasn't fired. He just... had boundaries. It changed my life.
#6
Answering the phone. My friend was shocked that I often declined calls, and I told them, "Just because someone has my number doesn't mean they have access to me at any given moment.".
Some modern thinkers like Sam Harris argue that free will is a lie we tell ourselves; it's something we use to place blame on individuals for actions that can ultimately be explained by environmental pressures. Even Albert Einstein firmly believed that we don’t have free will and that it’s only an illusion. In his view, the universe was ruled by the laws of cause and effect, meaning that every event had prior causes.
At the same time, other philosophers suggest that free will can still exist even within the deterministic reality described above, though to varying degrees depending on the situation. Since there is no firm answer, it’s up to you to decide which of these ideas fits your worldview best.
#7
Using the "fancy" cups, plates etc. Mum was flabbergasted when I made her a cup of tea using the china from her display cabinet. If not now, then when? Why shouldn't we use it when we can?
#8
Caring.
I dont mean in an apathetic way, but growing up my parents paniced about every little thing. Going to the store, a dr's appointment, a missed piece of mail, dropping a fork, spilling milk on the table. Everything turned into a "BIG DEAL".
But I spent time with other people as a teen/adult, and realized that wasn't normal. The world doesn't end if you burn a pizza, or if the water spills over when boiling pasta. That guy who cut you off isn't the worst part of your day, the staff member at the store checking your ID isn't a bad person.
You can just "not" react to those things, and life gets a whole lot easier.
#9
I grew up Mormon, and it's expected for children to get baptized when they turn 8 years old. This creates a membership record that is kept for the church forever (some have needed the help of lawyers to get theirs erased after leaving the church). Its pretty much forced in every way except they tell you "its your choice." A girl I knew turned 8 and decided NOT to get baptized, and all of us kids in the same primary were shocked that you could actually say no and not burst into flames. Looking back, I am so proud of her! Anyways, I'm not Mormon anymore.
It’s not the easiest decision out there, is it? Well, just think about yourself and your day-to-day actions. For instance, have you ever caught yourself glued to your phone screen, knowing you should put it down and do something else, but just not finding the inner strength to do it?
Some might argue that it's proof that we don’t have free will—a force pulling you to keep the phone in your hand. On the other hand, it might just be your mind working against you, pushing you into a pattern of bad habits.
#10
I don’t have to make dinner every night. Cereal, cheese with crackers, or peanut butter with fruit is just fine for a meal. .
#11
A person was talking stupid, and the person didn’t argue, but just got up & walked away without saying a word.
#12
Answering a question. Just because someone asks you a question, doesnt mean you have to answer it.
After all, certain habits are wired into our brains, both the bad and the good ones. In fact, most of the tasks a person does throughout their day are on autopilot, carried out through those habits. Again, you could see this as proof that we don’t have free will.
Yet we do have a choice to break those habits, don’t we? Just take a look at today’s list – it’s full of stories about people doing exactly that. Granted, not all are about basic habits; a majority of them are about people who, for the longest time, didn’t realize they had the choice to stop doing something.
#14
Seeing someone just not force small talk made me realize you don’t have to fill every silence and watching friends say “I’m too tired to go” without guilt taught me that you’re allowed to honor your energy without explaining yourself.
Things like that usually come from childhood or from the environment, painting things--whether consciously or subconsciously--as mandatory. And sometimes all it takes is witnessing someone choose to shake off this “mandatory” action for us to realize it was only optional all along. Whether these examples prove or disprove the free will argument is up to you. Make sure to let us know in the comments which party you are leaning towards!
#17
In a busy grocery store, picking one of the first check out lines I see and sticking with it instead of pacing up and down the store to make sure I find the shortest one
In the car, having my heating on with the window open without worrying about ‘wasting the heat’ because I like the mix of the warmth with the fresh air
Not worrying about wasting food if I’m not hungry and can’t save it for later (or end up not wanting it later) because my body isn’t a waste bin
Not saving any of my clothes for best, because why should my nicest clothes be worn the least.
#18
I think I was 15 when I realized that I didn't actually have to start smoking. Ever. Every adult I knew smoked and they always talked about it like obviously I was going to start at some point, they just recommended not to do it too young.
#19
Realizing that I don't have to be responsible for other people's emotions.
Like, I am, of course, responsible to behave like a decent human being and treat everyone lovingly and with integrity, but... it's up to them how they FEEL about my actions, and it's their job to manage those emotions, not mine.
The flip side, though, was also realizing I am responsible for my own emotions, and that I can't put those on anyone else.
#21
Responding immediately to every text, email, voicemail. Unless it's an emergency I'll get back to you"at my earliest convenience".
#22
Quitting, everyone always says how resilient i am, but truthfully i just didnt realise i was allowed to quit, anything.
#24
Clicking no to website cookies. I always accepted because I thought I couldn’t view the page otherwise. One day I watched my friend decline, and they just continued as normal. I was silently mindblown.
#26
Wearing makeup to run to the store. the other day i just...didnt. and nothing bad happened!
#28
Giving and receiving Christmas gifts. Years ago I saw Melissa Urban make a post on social media about how she holds a boundary about not exchanging gifts. I didn't know that was an option! I told family, "I'm not giving gifts anymore and I won't accept any."
Absolute game changer. I used to feel dread about the list of people I had to find gifts for. Even worse, I always felt awkward about receiving gifts. I'm pretty picky and don't want a lot anyway. But people would insist on buying me STUFF and then I would feel guilty about them spending money on something I didn't even want.
The holidays are much more enjoyable for me now.
#30
Your mileage may vary on this one, but sitting through meetings you don't need to be in.
When I was an intern, I mentioned to my boss that a certain team's meetings were brutally long and tended to get waaaaaay more in the weeds than they should. He told me, "Then just leave," and it absolutely blew my mind. You have to know the politics, and I'd advise getting a vibe check from your boss first, but you can almost always say something like, "It sounds like you dont need me for this last part - is it okay if I go get a head start on this project?" or "I have something pretty time sensitive to get to - are there any things left you need my input on?" And then I just leave. I say it cheerfully,
I always follow up on the parts that involved me, and I've never gotten in trouble for it or had it impact my reputation negatively.
Don't let yourself be trapped!
Edit to add: I have about 7 years of professional experience, I'm not still an intern just cluelessly watching social cues whiff over my head.
#31
Calling in sick to work… I thought it was a total no no and that you’d be penalised permanently. I thought you were expected to work whether you were dying of the flu, bed ridden with a migraine or stuck to the toilet for food poisoning.
I called in sick for 1 shift a few weeks ago when I was riddled with the cold. I am still employed and no one even mentioned it 😂.
What do you think ?
Patricia Steward 3 months ago
Did you know you don't have to let them weigh you at the doctor's office? I also haven't owned a scale for years -- I figure if the other numbers are good, why obsess over weight? Also, you hire your doctor, and you can also fire them. Sometimes very loudly, in the middle of a crowded waiting room, depending on the circumstances.
Patricia Steward 3 months ago
Did you know you don't have to let them weigh you at the doctor's office? I also haven't owned a scale for years -- I figure if the other numbers are good, why obsess over weight? Also, you hire your doctor, and you can also fire them. Sometimes very loudly, in the middle of a crowded waiting room, depending on the circumstances.
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