Ashley Harrington from Michigan State University recently wrote on Facebook that she was looking for a formal date for her friend. “You might think this is a joke but I’m dead serious,” wrote Ashley. “Please go with her. She’s not weird, she just lives in the library.” Little did she know that Joey Adams, 21, a fellow student at Michigan State, had been preparing himself for precisely this kind of opportunity, because soon after she wrote her post, Joey responded…with his resume!
That’s right. Joey made a dating resume, and as you can see, it’s nothing short of genius. In it he lists everything from his work experience (“Lubricants Consultant (not a euphemism)”) and his life objective (“to find a honey with a bitchin’ family”) to a breakdown of his skills (he’s particularly adept at replying to long texts) and a chart representing how he spends his time (which includes FaceTiming his mom and running his dog’s Instagram account). Sadly for Joey, his efforts were in vain, as Ashley informed him that her friend had already asked somebody else. Still, with a resume like this, we’re pretty sure that Joey won’t have any problem finding a date.