16 Y.O. Daughter Disappointed With Her Father As He Did Not Invite Her On His New Family’s Paris Vacation, Gets Called A Jerk
Hundreds of books and thousands of articles have been written about the problems of relationships between parents and children, but the problems themselves, alas, have not gone away – although they have been studied to the smallest detail. Any teacher or psychoanalyst will tell you exactly what to do in a given situation. The problem is that this is just theory, and practice puts everything in its place.
And it gets even more difficult when a family with children breaks up, and a husband and wife start new families. Here, unfortunately, one cannot do without mutual insults and accusations for small and not-so-small reasons – in general, beautiful and noble partings often happen only on paper and on screen. In real life, things are much more complicated.
A perfect example is this story posted on the AITA Reddit community a few weeks ago. The original post became very popular, with around 14.3K upvotes and over 4.1K different comments, with most of the people reading the post supporting the author. However, let’s talk about everything in order.
More info: Reddit
The Original Poster is a 16 Y.O. girl who lives with her mom while her dad has another family and two sons from his second marriage
Image credits: Patrick Nouhailler (not the actual image)
So, the Original Poster is a 16-year-old girl who lives with her mother, while her father has a new family and two sons from his second marriage. One fine day, the daughter looked at TikTok and saw how her dad, his wife and their children were having a great time in Paris. Of course, the girl also wanted to go to France, but the problem was that no one actually invited her.
Image credits: u/BellNo1177
One day the OP saw on TikTok that her dad and his family were having a great time in Paris – and she didn’t even know about the journey!
The daughter immediately texted her dad, asking how he liked the holiday in Paris, but he did not answer until late night. He then, as the OP admits, tried to play dumb and said it’s great and he wished she could also be there. We must say, the OP would also have liked that very much – which she told her father, to which he replied that they would talk about this later.
Image credits: u/BellNo1177
Image credits: Carissa Rogers (not the actual image)
The OP told her dad that she was disappointed he didn’t invite her, to which the man told her that his in-laws paid for the trip
When they returned from the journey, the OP told her father that she was so upset about being not invited. However, according to the man, nothing about it was actually his decision – he said that his wife’s parents paid for the trip, and they didn’t even want him to go at first. However, the OP said that he could have paid extra for her tickets, or her mom could have. In other words, the daughter was very disappointed in her dad.
Image credits: u/BellNo1177
The drama ensued several days later when the OP got into an argument with her stepmom’s parents
The OP raised this issue a few days later as well, when she was at her dad’s house and her stepmom’s parents came to visit them. The girl again expressed her resentment, but the father once more reminded her that the journey was very expensive and they could not afford to add one more person. The OP got even more upset and went to her room, stating that she didn’t want to ruin “their” family dinner.
Image credits: u/BellNo1177
The old lady tried to explain everything, but the OP just told her to get out of her room rudely
Later, OP’s stepmom’s mother came to her room and tried to explain that they wanted to pay for the trip for only three people at first, and definitely could not find money for a fifth person. The OP didn’t believe it because she knew the grandparents were very rich – so she simply stated that they were strangers and shouldn’t pretend to care about her, and generally demanded that the woman get out of her room (in a rude way).
Image credits: u/BellNo1177
Another scandal erupted in which the OP was called entitled and rude, and she continued to feel offended by her own father. As a result, the girl was grounded until further notice, and her disappointment did not go away.
Image credits: Mario Campello (not the actual image)
Most people in the comments backed the OP, though stating that she took everything to heart too strongly
Most people in the comments share the OP’s feelings, noting that her father not only made no effort to include her in the family vacation, but also allowed her to be blindsided by not letting her know in advance about the journey. Of course, the girl should take everything more calmly, but she definitely should draw conclusions about her own father.
Some commenters, however, noted that, of course, OP’s father’s family acted in an ugly way – but the girl herself took the situation too personally. In any case, the grandparents have the right to manage their own money as they wish. Of course, the father did wrong, but there can be no complaints against the grandmother, people in the comments believe.
We think you also have something to say about this very situation, so comments, as always, are welcome. And if something like this has also happened to you or your acquaintances, then we would very much like to know your own story.
I think the worst part is that the dad just didn't tell her beforehand that they were going. Just sitting her down, explaining that they were going to go, tell her why she couldn't, and make plans to spend time with her. It's not that she didn't go to Paris, it's the feeling like an afterthought and excluded that probably hurt the most. Dad really needs to fix this and grounding her isn't going to do it.
Disagree. The worse part is you don't just up and decide to take your family to Paris on a whim without anyone else knowing. This was a major undertaking, and it was INTENTIONALLY hidden.
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Sorry, as a Step-dad, when you blend a family, you do it all. As grandfather, if your child enters a blended family, you take them all as yours. Family doesn't end at blood, but it does take work.
Disagree and I don't care if I am downvoted. Blended immediate families need to make it work, but not extended. If the father and SM paid for a trip with their money and only took the two kids it's exclusionary, but if the trip is paid for by someone else, they get to dictate who they are paying for. I had a father who married 4 times...enough said. I wasn't invited to every gathering that all the kids went too, and they weren't invited to all of my things. She needs to grow up and realize that the trip was a gift to the parents and the grandkids and not her, period. I think they hid this from her bc they knew exactly how she would react. I never considered any of my many SM's parents as my grandparents and I never expected them to consider me a grandkid to them. I have two parents who should care for me, outside of that the rest is ambiguous.
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I've been there. My sister and I were the "old family". OP is not the a*****e. I would like to know if she lives with her mom or dad full time. It makes it much worse imo if it's the dad full time. Not by much, but still worse. I really feel for her. I think she did a great job of expressing herself. She's young and acted mature.
Same. My dad even went out to dinner with his stepkids instead of us kids for my bday. We no longer invite him.
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I think the worst part is that the dad just didn't tell her beforehand that they were going. Just sitting her down, explaining that they were going to go, tell her why she couldn't, and make plans to spend time with her. It's not that she didn't go to Paris, it's the feeling like an afterthought and excluded that probably hurt the most. Dad really needs to fix this and grounding her isn't going to do it.
Disagree. The worse part is you don't just up and decide to take your family to Paris on a whim without anyone else knowing. This was a major undertaking, and it was INTENTIONALLY hidden.
Load More Replies... Sorry, as a Step-dad, when you blend a family, you do it all. As grandfather, if your child enters a blended family, you take them all as yours. Family doesn't end at blood, but it does take work.
Disagree and I don't care if I am downvoted. Blended immediate families need to make it work, but not extended. If the father and SM paid for a trip with their money and only took the two kids it's exclusionary, but if the trip is paid for by someone else, they get to dictate who they are paying for. I had a father who married 4 times...enough said. I wasn't invited to every gathering that all the kids went too, and they weren't invited to all of my things. She needs to grow up and realize that the trip was a gift to the parents and the grandkids and not her, period. I think they hid this from her bc they knew exactly how she would react. I never considered any of my many SM's parents as my grandparents and I never expected them to consider me a grandkid to them. I have two parents who should care for me, outside of that the rest is ambiguous.
Load More Replies... I've been there. My sister and I were the "old family". OP is not the a*****e. I would like to know if she lives with her mom or dad full time. It makes it much worse imo if it's the dad full time. Not by much, but still worse. I really feel for her. I think she did a great job of expressing herself. She's young and acted mature.
Same. My dad even went out to dinner with his stepkids instead of us kids for my bday. We no longer invite him.
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