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Woman Loses Her Husband, Then Learns His Sisters Spent Years Wishing He Had Left Her
Nobody gets married because of their partner’s family, but it can be a huge plus when you actually do love your spouse’s parents and siblings. Issues between in-laws are incredibly common, so one woman thought she had hit the jackpot when she had a great relationship with her late husband’s family for decades.
Until, that is, she found herself reading messages that revealed what her sisters-in-law really think of her. Below, you’ll find the full story that the woman shared on Reddit, as well as some of the replies invested readers left her.
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This woman has always believed that she had a great relationship with her late husband’s family
So she was shocked to find out what her sisters-in-law really think of her
Developing strong relationships with in-laws can sometimes be impossible
We’ve all heard countless stories about nightmare in-laws. They refuse to accept anyone into their family and make it their mission to make anyone who marries into it completely miserable.
The majority of the time, however, these stories revolve around a mother-in-law creating conflicts with her daughter-in-law. But apparently, sisters-in-law can be just as toxic.
As far as why a person might not get along with their in-laws, psychologist Terri Apter, PhD, says there might actually be an evolutionary explanation.
Research has found that humans are hard-wired to prioritize and protect the interests of their genetic kin, so it can be difficult for them to do the same for “outsiders.”
However, Dr. Apter notes that this can also be comforting to know. If your mother-in-law seems to hate you for absolutely no reason, you don’t have to spiral wondering what you did wrong.
It might simply be that she doesn’t have that genetic bond with you, so she’ll never love you as much as she loves her own kids.
Sometimes it may be easier to form a bond with a sister-in-law than a mother-in-law, as the two of you will likely be much closer in age. But just because you may have more in common on paper doesn’t mean that she’ll necessarily want to be best friends.
Dealing with a difficult sister-in-law requires patience and picking your battles
When it comes to getting along with a difficult sister-in-law, Brides.com suggests trying to find something that you two have in common. Whether that’s a workout class that you both love or a television show you can bond over, anything that will give you something to talk about can be helpful.
At the same time, make sure that you ask your sister-in-law plenty of questions about herself. Try to get to know her and understand her better. People love talking about themselves, and this will help you find opportunities for both of you to connect.
Meanwhile, when issues do arise, remember to choose your battles wisely. As frustrating as it may be, you might have to bite your tongue at times or simply make compromises to keep the peace. You will have to be around this woman for the rest of your life, so try not to sweat the small stuff.
It’s always a good idea to find a buffer to keep between the two of you as well. It could be your spouse or any other family member that you’re both on good terms with- anyone who will keep the tension at a minimum and allow the two of you to coexist.
While everyone wants to be on great terms with their partner’s family, sometimes we have to just accept that it’s never going to happen. And if you realize that your in-laws never liked you in the first place, well, it might be time to cut your losses and start prioritizing other relationships. What are your thoughts on this situation? Share your story in the comments below.
Readers called out the sisters’ behavior, and the author joined in on the conversation to share more details
Many also left supportive messages for the author
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Kate Johnson 1 week ago
If I learned this from my mother, that would be the last time I spent any time with dad's family. Any Thanksgiving invitations would be withdrawn and I'd tell them to F right off.
Kathy Brooke 1 week ago
I had the opposite of this. My MIL disliked me from the off, tried to block the wedding and seemed only ever to 'get used to' me. When hubby passed (well into borrowed time) she fell over herself to talk about how glad she was he found me, how happy I made him, etc. 7 years later she still calls up for a chat.
GatorGran 6 days ago (edited)
I didn't have inlaws since my husband's parents had passed away. His sisters were nice enough to me, but he had no contact with his brother. When my husband passed away from untreated. congestive heart failure his family changed. One sister told her family that she would sue me to get his "estate" for her children. There was no estate. After 10 years of marriage the only thing of value was an 8 year old car. I still drive that car 5 years later. Why would she not talk to me directly? At that time my adult son was dying from cancer and I was his caretaker. Those nasty people probably don't know and wouldn't care what I was going through. I lost my son 18 months ago. Money, or the idea of money, can turn people into monsters.
Kate Johnson 1 week ago
If I learned this from my mother, that would be the last time I spent any time with dad's family. Any Thanksgiving invitations would be withdrawn and I'd tell them to F right off.
Kathy Brooke 1 week ago
I had the opposite of this. My MIL disliked me from the off, tried to block the wedding and seemed only ever to 'get used to' me. When hubby passed (well into borrowed time) she fell over herself to talk about how glad she was he found me, how happy I made him, etc. 7 years later she still calls up for a chat.
GatorGran 6 days ago (edited)
I didn't have inlaws since my husband's parents had passed away. His sisters were nice enough to me, but he had no contact with his brother. When my husband passed away from untreated. congestive heart failure his family changed. One sister told her family that she would sue me to get his "estate" for her children. There was no estate. After 10 years of marriage the only thing of value was an 8 year old car. I still drive that car 5 years later. Why would she not talk to me directly? At that time my adult son was dying from cancer and I was his caretaker. Those nasty people probably don't know and wouldn't care what I was going through. I lost my son 18 months ago. Money, or the idea of money, can turn people into monsters.
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