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Each family has a story, but not every chapter is a proud one. Some are marked by secrets and scandals that can leave a lasting impact even on future generations.
A Reddit user asked people to share the wildest crimes they or someone close to them had ever been involved in, and the responses didn’t hold back.
From shocking betrayals to intricate schemes, the stories that followed felt just as intense as anything you’d see in a high-stakes crime drama—only these ones actually happened.
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#1
A great grandparent, years ago during an occupation, was being approached repeatedly for s*x by a soldier/guard assigned to her village. One day she lured him into her home, st**bed him repeatedly and threw him down a well. The entire family knew and no one drank from that well ever again.
Edit: Grammar/Updates: Ok, called my mom to get more info. This is like a great great great versus just a great grandparent. Also confirmed that her and her parents and grandparents never used the well so that’s about like 200+ years of no well use. Location is Eastern Europe.
On a personal note I’ve never got this many upvotes, I brag to my wife and she says “like most achievements of men, all the heavy lifting in this story was done by a woman”.
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#2
Twin brothers boosted a car and rob the 711 like 1/2 mile from house. Ditched car 10 houses from theirs. How were they caught?
Officers respond to alarm triggered by clerk.
Officer: Got an alarm here what happened.
Clerk: Tim and Tom came in and robbed the store.
Officer: How do you know it was these guys?
Clerk: They are 6' 4" twins who come in every day. I know their shape and voice.
The car
911 operator: 911 what is your emergency.
Neighbor: Was watching TV and 2 guys park a car in front of my house. One guy got out with like a windex bottle and cleaned all the door handles and door areas. Then opened door and the other guy took the stuff and cleaned the inside areas. Then they ran off up the street.
Dispatch: Can you describe the 2 individuals?
Neighbor: Well it was Tim and Tom the twins that live up the street from me they're like 6' 4" and they are twins.
#3
When I was a young teen, the boys from the neighborhood and I loved playing pinball and video games at our local bowling alley. Problem was we didn't have enough money to enjoy our new a*******n. We decided to do something about that little problem.
We started with a very rudimentary system. We actually scotch taped a piece of thread to a quarter and were able to fish it up and down a couple times before the string would break, or the tape would give out. This worked fairly well, but we wanted and needed more.
Our next plan was a little more professional. We somehow concocted a scheme to "make" quarters. A few lessons in science class had actually stuck, and we realized that we needed something to fool the coin mechanism in the pinball machine into thinking that whatever it was we made our quarters with was an actual quarter. We ended up deciding that lead would be our material of choice. We used lead for a couple of reasons. A couple of the guy's father was an avid hunter. He even reloaded his own s*****n shells. Because of this he had a burner setup in his shop to melt down lead. Another reason is that lead is not magnetic (science!). We made a mold out of plaster and used the burner to melt lead to make our quarters. But where to get more lead??
One of us came up with the brilliant thought that tire weights were made of lead! Carrying screwdrivers and pliers we scoured the parking lots of shopping centers. We would wander through and drop down out of sight between cars. Using the tools we had brought we would manage to get the tire weights off with little trouble. We were in business!
Our production line was soon up and running. We would melt lead, pour it into our mold, cool it and then move on to finishing our new "quarter". The finishing process was crude, but effective. We would snip off the burr where the lead was poured. We would then file down the edge, making sure it stayed mostly round. Using steel wool and a polishing cloth we would then shine the quarters. Now came the trial run.
We went to the bowling alley with a few quarters to see if our harebrained scheme would actually work. In they went, and the pinball machine lit up and was ready to be played. Success! We intensified our production and soon we had bunches of quarters. We were thrilled! We could play video games any time we wanted! Every day after school you'd find us at the bowling alley, happily playing our games. But our downfall was soon to come.
We never thought of the fact that someone might notice a bunch of fake quarters being used in their video games and pinball machines. It literally never crossed our early teenaged minds. We just knew we were having a blast. One fateful day we went to the bowling alley as usual. We started playing games and soon some men approached us. They started questioning us and accusing us. We were scared to d***h! One of the guys yelled "Run!" and we took off as fast as we could. We made it to the doors and down the steps we went. We all lived on the same cul-de-sac and that's the direction we headed. Running as fast as we could, we briefly split up. The men that were chasing us only followed one of us kids. He made the colossal mistake of running straight to his house and through the front door. From there our crime spree ended.
A few days later I was in class when I was called to the office. When I got there my father was sitting with a man I'd never seen before. He was wearing a black suit with a black tie. I had to go before the principal, my father and a member of the United States Secret Service! Although they take the counterfeiting of US currency very seriously, they understood that it was just a bunch of knucklehead kids making quarters to play video games. He actually told me that he was impressed with the quality of the quarters. He also said that they had recovered over $75 in fake quarters! We had made, and used, over 300 quarters! We had to make restitution for the money and the charge was placed on our juvenile records. It was explained to us that if we kept our noses clean the charge would be expunged. Luckily for me I learned my lesson and stayed on the straight and narrow for the rest of my young adult life.
And that, fellow redditors is how I was charged with counterfeiting US currency. If that doesn't define the meaning of a crazy crime, I don't know what would.
#4
My friend got blackout drunk and stole a bulldozer that had the keys left in it.
He turned it on and obviously didn't know how to drive it so he just ended up making the scoopy part go up and down for a bit before the cops came.
They actually let him go too.
#5
My sister-in-law worked on a ski hill. One week there was a promotion by a company where they would blow up big inflatables (like the big gorillas you see in car lots). She had seen them blow them up and deflate them for days, so she knew what the deflated ones looked like. One day she was leaving work and one of these deflated mascot thingies was right behind her car. My sister-in-law has never stolen anything in her entire life, but at that moment she decided out of the blue that she wanted that blow-up. She plopped it in the back and drove home. When I came to visit a couple weeks later she was freaking out about it. She asked me if I wanted it, just to get the evidence out of her house. That is the story of how I came to own a 2-story-high inflatable cow.
#6
A male relative of mine skydived off the World Trade Center back in the 1980s. He wore rubber gloves to climb the electric fence and had his parachute hidden ~~under a trench coat~~ in a shopping bag.
He had a "get-away-car" waiting to him at the bottom, driven by his ~~then wife~~ friend. His then wife took the photos.
He got caught two days later, where he had to give the city an apology and paid a small fine, no jail time.
I digitally restored the photos of his jump and the newspaper articles a few years ago He is a testament to crazy uncles everywhere.
And to those who are going to correct me and say it was "base jumping," I asked him about this years ago. He said, at the time, the term "base jumping" hadn't been created yet. It was a skydive when he made it, and it will remain a skydive in his memory.
#7
Human smuggling.
My great great great grandfather's aunts ran a station on the Underground Railroad. Which was morally right, but legally wrong.
Elladine DesIsles 1 day ago
This is true in my family too (it was a several times great uncle of mine), but it didn't so much as cross my mind as I was reading through these stories and mentally listing the known crimes of my relatives. Morally right indeed.
#8
One time my uncle put ranch dressing on a dry-aged NY strip steak that cost 70$.
#9
My mom set a dude on fire.
When I was young I had a babysitter, named Chris. He was the uncle of my two best friends, sisters Abby and Becca. He was also a*****e. He liked to do things to me in front of them. Make them listen to my cry and scream. Nothing physical, I should mention. More, psychological.
Anyway, I didn’t tell anyone about it. (And in fact only learned this story about 2 years ago). But it turns out that my best friends did.
They told my mom and she was pissed.
Soon after that there’s a party at my friends parents house. My mom goes and sees Chris. He’s all nice to her. They’re outside in the backyard.
She starts kinda joking around. Roughhousing. Messing with him.
She grabs some lighter fluid and sprays some on Him.
Hahaha, just a joke.
She lights a match.
“Ha! You wouldn’t do it, would you?”
And she lights him on fire.
According to my mom, he was put out quickly so he was fine.
But she told him that’s what its like when you’re scared for your life. And then she left.
Apparently he flew back to Florida the next day.
#10
So before I was born my parents were apparently going through some tough financial issues and were facing eviction if they couldn’t come up with a certain amount of money by a certain date.
My father decided the best way to handle this situation would be to rob a bank.
So the story as I was told it goes like this... my father walked into a small bank with a ski mask on and his hand in his pocket. He went up to a teller and handed her a bag, telling her he was robbing the place, he had a g*n and exactly how much money he wanted, which turned out to be exactly the amount he needed to avoid eviction.
He got the money, apologized to the teller and then left. He was never caught.
The next part of the story is a little weird and even I have a hard time believing it but I know my dad, he is no liar. Apparently a year or two later my dad went back to the same bank he robbed every day until he found the teller he robbed previously. He walked up without a mask and handed her an envelope and immediately left the area. In the envelope was the exact amount of money he stole and a note saying that the money was for the teller, a gift and how incredibly sorry he was for scaring her when he robbed the place. Again, he was never caught.
My father is a very honorable man who was raised in poverty on a Indian reservation. Because of the a***e he went through, both at home and at school (Residential schools have a bit of a history to them) he vowed that his kids would never have to go through what he did. I truly believe that robbing that bank was a result of that vow but emotionally hurting that woman at the bank really ate away at him so he risked getting arrested to try and make it right.
Edit: Guess I should have said this but he didn’t actually have a g*n, he just told the teller he did. In reality his pocket was empty.
#11
My dads side of the family grew up as New Hampshire hicks. My grandfather was st**bed in two different bar fights and burned down an entire country club because he thought they were too stuck up.
He was never caught and went on to earn a bronze and silver star in the Korean War, but unfortunately lost his leg too.
I thought I might add that my grandfather got his s**t together, started a successful small business and as a funny twist later joined that same country club as an old man. He never really felt welcome there my dad said though, they weren’t really his kind of people.
#12
My great uncle stole a train station.
Like an actual train station.
Bonus crime: He broke into a local police station to steal his own (paper) criminal record. Didn't destroy or steal any of the others. Just his own.
#13
One of my great-uncles was highly involved in sanction busting for the apartheid state of Rhodesia. He worked for the "Netherlands Bank of Rhodesia" and was forced to stay and work through threats to his family by the minority government.
Luckily he managed to convince the government that his kids simply *must* have a British public-school education, and that his wife would escort them to London for the start of term. Whilst they were abroad they were taken into protective custody by the British government, and he managed to slip over one of the land borders to safety. He was flown back to the UK for debriefing and was kept in the country for a while.
He took up farming in the deepest and quietest bit of countryside he could find.
#14
It's not a bad crime or anything, but it was illegal at the time.
So, in Germany, up until a few years ago, we still had a general draft for the army. And a generation ago it was very hard to get out of it.
My uncle was a hardcore pacifist, so going to the army wasn't an option for him. But being accepted as a conscientious objector at that time basically required you to be a devout Christian and use the bible as an argument for why you couldn't k**l another human. And my uncle was also atheist.
He couldn't realistically object, didn't want to go to the army and didn't want to go to jail, too. So he waited...
He got sent his draft notice, passed the physical and got a letter telling him to report to X company under sergeant Y.
He wrote back a reply, on rose-colored paper, scented with perfume, about how much he was looking forward to serving under the strong leadership of Y, promising to obey every one of his orders, and that he can't wait to experience life in the barracks together with so many strong and muscular men.
He was declared unfit for service shortly after.
UKGrandad 1 day ago (edited)
It really is true that being classed as a conscientious objector was predicated not on one's conscience but on a belief in an ancient myth. EDIT: and I'm being downvoted for confirming that what the OP said about qualifying for conscientious objector status is true. What is wrong with you people?
#15
This was a couple of generations back (early 20th century) but there was this guy who was constantly getting drunk and harassing my great aunt. So, one of her male friends dressed up in an Easter Bunny outfit, put a bat in its giant fake carrot and beat the dude with it.
He got away with it but I'm sure it helped that half the community was waiting for the day the guy's liver finally gave out.
One small clarification - the bat in question was a baseball bat, not the flying mammal (though that's certainly an interesting visual and I can't say I'm sorry for my small role in creating that image).
#16
A member of my family once took part in an armed insurrection against the United States. He even led an army that was part of that insurrection.
The State of Virginia just removed his statue from the US Capitol building.
#17
My Dad brought in a Banana tree to the US from his home village in Kerala. He literally walked through customs with a tree in a pot in his arms. The customs lady asked him what he was thinking and he just replied that the banana tree was from his mother's garden. The customs lady must have thought my dad was crazy, but she just let him walk right through. We still have that tree and it's offspring.
Otto Katz 19 hours ago
Last year we wanted to bring some sausages from Portugal home to the US. Went to the website to see how to do it legally, bought it at the store, had them seal it up correctly, got the store receipt, from the correct country, didn't visit the forbidden countries, listed what we were bringing. Got to the TSA check point. The took s aside, did a check of our luggage, took out the meat, and threw it in the trash. WHAT??? they said if they found it and we Hadn't listed it, we would have been fined. Well, fine. We got home. Good thing they didn't look in my purse, and didn't find the 2 pounds of prosciutto I had stashed away.
#18
A distant cousin got her terminally ill father to give her power of attorney and then stole all of his money so she wouldn't have to split it with her brother.
Don't worry, she did go to jail as her rush to clean him out involved a lot of fraud and forgery.
#19
I worked at a movie theatre when Back To The Future was originally released. We used to take the entire movie ticket instead of tearing them and re-sell them to the next group coming in. The old theatre was massive. Sat 600 people. We probably made about $15k between two of us in month or so. Adjusted for inflation, it's about $37k. We were the richest high school kids in our town.
#20
My Dad’s older brother came home from the war in Vietnam to find that his wife had been cheating on him with his best friend. He locked them both in the friend’s house and burned it down with them in it. He held the fire fighters off with a rifle until he was sure they couldn’t be saved, then he sh*t himself. This was before I was born, but I’ve seen some newspaper clippings about it.
EDIT: Several people asked how he kept them in the house alone. I asked my mother about it and she said that he locked them together in a small bedroom closet and barricaded the door from the outside so they couldn’t get out.
This was in the 1970s in New Orleans. I’m not gonna give more info as it’d be easy to tie back to me (same last name) or his daughter who was a little under two years old at the time, and I don’t want that.
#21
Not sure if it should be considered a crime, but one of my great aunts was in an a*****e marriage with a war vet who took to beating her and forcing her to play Russian roulette when he drank. One night she managed to rig the g*n so when he took his turn he blew his brains out.
She wasn’t charged.
#22
My granddad accidentally shot his brother in the a*s. He meant to sh**t something out of his hand, but missed. Drunk, genius, hillbilly s**t. Thankfully my dad married well, and I turned out allright.
#23
My father committed one of the first computer crimes in the 90s. A ton of files were corrupted due to a code he created because they fired him. FBI invaded our home and arrested him. Was sent to federal prison for four years, which was interesting because there was never a crime committed of its nature before. They made a forensics file episode about it
#24
My cousin was affiliated with a 1% MC, he was not a patched member but would do jobs for them. He got arrested for beating someone with a baseball bat who allegedly had gambling debt with the MC. He did 3 years and was on parole for a few years after that. He’s still a shady character and I wouldn’t be surprised if he was still doing dumb s**t.
Edit: MC= motorcycle club, a 1% Motorcycle club is the “1% of MC who are involved in organized crime”.
#25
I was offered a glass of 25 years aged Old Parr and I mixed it with some Pepsi. The look of horror on my buddies' faces is still engraved in my memory more than 20 years later.
#26
Not an actual crime, but when I was like 13 i was watching nsfw pictures on my parents computer. Long story short my dad got blamed on and payed with week on couch.
#27
Cousin got busted robbing a bank. Got sentenced to jail. Proceeded to break out of jail with his cell mate and went on the run. Fast forward a few months and he's living in a hotel room with his cell mate. Cell mate orders a pizza to the room (bad idea). Delivery guy recognized them and reported them to the police. They get arrested again and shortly after my cousin k****d himself in prison. My cousin had a wife and a kid and got into a nasty coke habit. We don't bring him up anymore.
#28
There is a family legend about some great uncles of mine stealing their dad’s corpse from the funeral home. They went out to the woods with it and got drunk, then returned the body the next morning.
Edited to add: So I talked to my mom and I missed or misremembered some wonderful details. They broke into the funeral home by backing dad’s work truck through a wall. Dad was a professional burglar who would have appreciated the irony of a thief’s corpse being stolen, thought it was hilarious, and been proud his sons pulled the stunt off. They played a game of poker with dad’s body. And at some point they got caught because they attended the funeral the next day in handcuffs. My mom said that the father was apparently the one person in our family who never drank, so they weren’t going out to get drunk with dad one last time. The sons likely had a beer though.
#29
Mine is incredibly stupid but looking back reminds me of how actually crazy the whole situation was. When I was in the 6th grade my parents (Mom + Stepdad) got married and moved me to this very small, very religious, very tight-knit community. My life changed immeasurably that year and I absolutely hated my new school & all the people in it... So our morning routine was parents get up at 6, wake me at 6:30, both parents are out the door by 6:45 and I have to catch my bus at 7:15. Well 11 year old me figured out that I could just *not* catch my bus and my parents both working demanding jobs would not be home until 3 hours after I usually got home so they'd never know.
The first day I skipped school was easy. By week two I realized I'd have to go back for exams, especially the state exam which determined if you got to move to the next grade & obviously the school would want to know why I was absent. So I divised a plan, wherein I called the school pretending to be my mother and told them my poor daughter had Mono and would be in and out as she felt better and I asked them to please change my contact number to my home phone, that way I could intercept any phone calls. And thus began the 6 weeks where I went to school only ever on days that I had exams. Unbeknownst to me one of my teachers wrote a note with my report card (that were mailed to our house) that said she was so proud of me for keeping up with my school work despite being sick and out of class so often.
I was in 3rd period when I got called to the office to find my vice principal, principal, 2 very very angry parents, and a Truancy Officer waiting for me. I had to go to court because I had missed so many days and was given Community service as punishment. I was also sent to in-school suspension (ISS) for the remainder of the year. It's still on my "criminal record" although since I was underage when it occured the details are sealed but I was 100% convicted of Truancy.
#31
Last year my psychotic mother burned down my childhood home (that her, my dad, my niece, my sibling, and siblings partner lived in) because she believed my dad was cheating on her, despite no evidence and this was not the first time she accused my dad of cheating with no evidence.
Effectively, she destroyed everything we had built and kept in that home, along with my dads dog and my sisters cat (cat was burned up, so never found; but the dog d**d of asphyxiation in my nieces room under her bed).
Then after the fire in what I can only construe as an act of desperation, she went to my bank and stole all of the money out of my accounts because she was secondary on the accounts (I was working on changing banks, but my new bank had yet to finalize the creation of my new account). Moral of the story is take your parents off your bank accounts when you turn 18.
She’s now serving time in a county jail for the arson because she took a plea deal and got a reduced sentence, which I still believe was utter c**p. She played the poor old lady act to the judge and he took pity on her that she did not deserve.
This is the woman who eviscerated my self esteem and made my life hell ever since I was born. She was toxic and a*****e, never told me the truth about anything, and is a greedy, manipulative person. I feel no shame in saying that I do not care about her. She’s lost any right to my love and respect.
#32
I was in middle school (13-14) and my buddy and I snuck out of the house to go cause mischief. We did this almost every weekend and we really only snuck out just because we knew we shouldn't be. The worst we ever did was TP our other friend, other than that we just rode our bikes around. EXCEPT.
One time we met up with a couple girls that my friend knew. We were going around our town and tipped a portapotty, put someone's patio furniture in their tree, stupid s**t like that. My buddy thought he could show off his muscles by pulling a mailbox out of the ground. I said he couldn't and I was right. To 1 up him, I pulled the mailbox right out of the ground and we laughed like little girls as I set it on the home owner front step. Not 10 min later cops rolled around with their spotlight on. Found us (not the mailbox) and brought us home. My dad made me go back to the house and the mailbox was in the ground already. He made me knock and apologize to the homeowner, who happened to be a 90 yr old woman with cancer. That straightened me up real quick and I never did stuff like that again. Only later did I find out what I did was a felony and I didn't feel like living that life anymore.
#33
My grandfather's cousin st**bed a waiter to d***h because he wouldn't let him use the employees-only restroom in his restaurant.
#34
An uncle robbed a bank (or was an accessory to the robbers, idk). His brilliant escape when the police showed up was to go to the roof and jump off. He didn't do time, just had to go to the hospital for a broken leg.
#35
My sister stole a puppy. Just walked into the pet store, stuffed her up her jacket. Looking at these other things, she seems a lot less bold than she did before.
#36
My uncle went to prison for chaining a cop to the back of his bike and driving down the highway
I feel like an edit is needed here because I want to say I am not glorifying what my uncle did, I simply answered the question asked.
This happened in the 1960s before I was born, so I do not have many details due to the timing and fact he married into the family (and that side of my family is not very close at all). What I do know is my uncle was apart of a very violent g*ng, I know nothing about what led to the attempted m****r (yes, the cop survived somehow), so I do not know if the cop was good or bad. But, I do not believe very many people, if any, deserve to be t****red in such a manner (or any manner).
🇫🇮 Goth Nurse 🇫🇮 22 hours ago (edited)
I would really like that people could differentiate between "apart" and "a part" - that's one of my pet peeves.
#37
Not really a "crime" as in not _necessarily_ illegal, but my grandfather had two separate families in two different cities. Named _both_ of his "first born" sons after himself, and they both named sons after themselves too (including me). So i share my name with my father and grandfather, as well as a half-uncle and at least one cousin.
#38
My mother-in-law and her ROTC friends once stole an actual tank from a military base way back in the 60s/70s. They were there on a field trip and they were finally stopped when they ran out of gas while driving it down the highway. According to my grandmother-in-law, she saw the whole thing going down on the news before she got the call and realized her kid was one of those joyriders. There’s a video of it floating around on the internet somewhere.
#39
My dad got into a bar fight around 21 or so, hit a guy so hard he k****d him. He went to prison of course but while working along the road he stopped another prisoner that attacked a guard and tried to escape. My dad was released for that. He never drank after that and if he got angry he just walked out of the house to cool off. He turned 81 a week ago and he’s the nicest, easiest going guy you would ever meet. He never judges anyone. He once said to me, we all make mistakes.
*for the record I only heard the story about 10 ys ago from my brother. He told him during a road trip. He lived in a small town and I have no idea what prison he was at or the official reason he was released but considering it was probably around ‘61/‘62 - they probably used whatever reason they wanted to for his release.
#40
My sister shoplifts uncontrollably. She shoplifts everything everywhere she goes. Her daughter just turned 1 and she has stolen every bit of formula her daughter ever used. It’s insane she’s never been caught.
#41
Ooh so my great aunt disappeared off the face if the earth after her daughters wedding and nobody had any clue what happened. Foul play wasn’t suspected or anything however her s*****n was missing. Well like a month ago we found out she d**d last year. She had apparently skipped jury duty to go to the wedding and instead of doing anything logical she straight up ran away and lived in hiding in a backwoods town in Washington. No letters or anything she just decided that the most effective way to get around jury duty to go to a wedding was to live in hiding for 30 years.
#42
I used to drive for my w**d d**ler. I was a new buyer but I never asked questions and was cool with him. His car broke down and asked if anyone could drive him. I said I would, and he liked that. I have my back windows tinted but not my front windows. I’d pick him up and we’d drive almost all day. It was pretty chill. He’s give me free w**d and pay me $250 a day. I still worked my part time delivery job so I was very happy.
He got his car fixed and didn’t need me to drive him around anymore. Which is fine, considering his ex snitched in him and he got busted a couple weeks later.
Stephanie A Mutti 23 hours ago
Which is good because this can amount to trafficking in narcotics and being the driver does not make you immune from prosecution. Possessing and using w**d is one thing legally but trafficking in it is usually quite a stiff penalty [meaning mandatory double digit years in prison]. Heaven forbid something insane happen and you face a felony m****r charge which works the same as a regular old meant to ki** s/one charge.
#43
My dad told me he once snuck into a tire warehouse, he cut the alarm and came in through a window on the roof, and stole a bunch of tires.
#44
My dad’s cousin erased all family member names from a property deed except for his father’s. The paperwork had been water damaged so there was no easy way to tell what should have been there. Family lore says that he also paid off some local politicians / office workers to make the new deed stand.
#45
Got s****d, drunk and rode an electric scooter with a friend, only to end up in front of a huge fence with barbed wire I decided to climb. Huge mistake it was a military base, I ran out of there at speed light when I realised, fortunately I escaped.
#46
In college we got a new printer and printed off a bunch of fairly convincing $20 bills, roughed them up and used them at a bunch of fast food restaurants. Didn’t realize how dumb it was until years later.
#47
He's d**d now. But years ago my relative got in a bar fight and lost so he went to his vehicle to get his rifle. Fortunately the police arrested him on the way in to the bar so his charges were a lot less. Still did jail time.
#49
My uncle started a fight in his regular pub in his 20s after they tried to charge him an extra 10p for his usual lager and lime (10p for the lime). He kicked the s**t out of the bartender, broke a police officer's nose, and it took 8 of them to bring him down in the end I believe. He still boasts to this day about how he came out of prison with more criminal knowledge than he went in with and how he used to make metal hooks for the other prisoners which they'd use to scale the fences to try and escape. He thinks it makes him sound cool and edgy but he's such a d******d. Can't stand him!
#50
As a 10 year old I violated section 508 of the Communications Act of 1934: received underhanded assistance in a "purportedly bona fide contest of intellectual knowledge or intellectual skill." Basically, got manipulated into being on a rigged kids' game show, which was cancelled days before it was supposed to air on FOX because someone spilled the beans. I didn't realize until years later what was actually going on.
#51
My brother got completely inebriated one night and stupidly drove home. He woke up early in the morning to the sound of a baby crying. He looked around and noticed he didn’t recognize the house. He quickly got up and walked outside to his car halfway in the driveway/street and still running. Got in his car and drove away as quickly as he could. Turns out it was some random house about 5-10 minutes away from our actual house. He never knew whose house it was and never got caught. He also slowed down his drinking after that.
#52
When i was a dumb sixth grader, my best friend was a hardcore vegetarian. A mcdonalds was going up practically in the backyard of her fam's condo. We snuck out and spray painted things like "meat=d***h" on it (keeping in mind that I was a happy omnivore lol). But then we pulled up these rocks the size of our heads and threw them at two huge 7 to 8 feet windows (think of the windows on the front of a mcDs that let you see the entire inside). Took a couple attempts to get them to shatter.
We snuck out a lot. There was one time around age 15 when we applied heavy makeup, wore our "slag" clothes, and got into a frat party (she lived walking distance to campus) and smoked pot for the first time.
#53
I once snuck a camera in a movie theater and made a CAM recording of a movie that I uploaded to the internet.
#54
My Cousins husband got caught on a predator chasers livestream trying to kidnap a 14 year old boy.
#55
One of my family worked for the UN in Africa for some mandates...back in the 70/80s he needed to bribe some guys in order to reach places. so he bribed the guy, travelled down to the destination, in the meanwhile another guy took over the charge of the area and found out that he bribed "the enemie" so ge got arested and trown into jail. He only got out because he has dual citizenship with the UK, and those guys bailed him out very quickly after his home country of switzerland failed for a course of 3+ months.
#56
My Dad (when he was much younger and infinitely more stupid) regularly used to drink drive with his friends. It was the early 70's, and no-one really cared. To hear him speak about it now, he can't believe how stupid he was.
One night, he and his friend were out drinking. They heard there was a party going on at a pub across town and decided to head over. On the way they go past a large club with a queue of people waiting to go in. My dad decides to show off a bit and pull a skid. He miscalculated, hit a curb and flipped the car, sliding down the road on his roof. The car stops, they get out and leg it, to the cheers of the people in the queue! They get the bus back home and immediately call the police to report the car as stolen.
The police knew what had happened, but couldn't prove anything.
#57
My grandfather’s father was a mean, a*****e, hateful drunk, who would come home from working in the mines long enough to terrorize his children and impregnate his wife and then leave again for mine work.
He tried to set the house on fire, with wife and kids (13 of them) inside...twice.
One day my grandfather and a couple of his siblings were picking berries across the road from the house and his drunk father started taking potsh*ts at them with a rifle. My grandpa, one brother, and his oldest sister took off running for the house with the agreement that the first one there would k**l him (their father). My grandpa’s sister got there first and sh*t him to d***h.
She was never charged with a crime, due to her age and the fact that everyone knew my great grandfather was a mean son of a b***h and had it coming.
#60
My husband's dad k****d the guy who his then girlfriend was cheating on him with. He was supposed to serve a life term but got out because of a clerical error. He did manual labor on a local park and apparently the guys who helped were suppose to get a reduced sentence. However he was not suppose to. (I think - my husband talked about it once).
Also, my husband's half-brother, same m**derous dad, k****d his business partner. He would have gotten away with it however, he moved the body when he found out construction was going to start in that spot. And what were they going to build there? A prison. He's currently serving a life sentence.
My husband has never met his half-brother. He also has 2 half-sisters from the same dad who are law abiding citizens.
#61
My cousin was the Brett Favre goat lady. She had purchased goat meat from a farm. The farm was supposed to raise the goat, butcher it, and let her pick up the meat. When she arrived, the goat was still alive and had been painted with Vikings colors and Brett Favre's jersery number. The farmer didn't want to butcher it "because his kids were around." Her older brother is an outdoorsman/hunter type, so he told her to bring it to his house and he would butcher it for her. They had car trouble on the way, pulled into a mechanic to have the car fixed, the mechanic opened the trunk, saw the goat, and called the police.
#62
My uncle was a small d**g lord in Northern California in the 90s. He had a compound out in gold country, had to drive through 3 gates with guards to get to his house. I like never questioned it as a kid, just enjoyed heading up so I could fish in the stocked bass pond (which also had snapping turtles (as a line of defense)). He'd take me out shopping at the mall with a film canister full of coke that he'd take hits off of occasionally, shadowed by some bodyguards. One time we were out for a ride in his corvette going well over a hundred and got tagged by highway patrol. He talked his way out of the ticket (told the officer he was showing off for his nephew and got carried away, the officer thought it was hilarious), and told me it was lucky since he had a ton of illegal g*ns and d***s in the trunk and would have made a run for it.
He got arrested when I was 15. It was a full blown; Feds descended upon the compound in helicopters and swung through the windows with flashbangs. The whole nine. He was arrested, and since if he snitched on anyone above him he was, very bluntly, a d**d man, he took the rap, was extradited to Lee in VA to serve a bit over 10 years. All he asked for while he was there was protein powder, he got prison ripped, and apparently beat someone near to d***h with a sock full of quarters for cutting in front of him at the payphone.
At some point in my life all 4 of my uncles on both sides (+ my dad) have spent time in prison for d**g related offenses, but this particular uncle takes the cake.
#63
My grandfather was often drunk but when he wasn't drunk he would pretend to be drunk so that the Soviet Communist party members responsible for interrogating all those who might be opposed to communism thought and said, "Eh, he's a drunk, we'll question him last." This gave him time to gather resources so he could escape (with my dad).
So, although public inebriation ~~probably~~ almost certainly wasn't a crime in most Eastern European countries at the time (late 40's), he would have been g***g-bound if he'd been caught in this charade.
#64
My father, when I was still very young, used a fake name and pretended to be a wedding planner for a young couple. That young couple hired him, since he seemed trustworthy and is an excellent liar, giving him access to their savings for wedding supplies and such that would be needed.
Instead, he stole all of the money out of their account and then ran away with it. As far as I am aware, he was never caught and the money was never returned to them.
The worst part is that the poor couple never even got their wedding and had almost nothing left afterwards.
#65
My grandpa wouldn't obey the train warnings. He would try and beat the train rather than wait.
1st time he got hit in his new convertible on the way to prom with my grandma. Had barely started on the payments and car was totalled. Luckily they were both okay.
2nd time was a little less reckless but still dumb. He was driving a semi and it broke down on the tracks. He kept trying to get the tractor trailer to start, rather than lose his rig and load. Semi got hit by the train, total loss and f****d up his back.
#66
My uncle stole one of those oil candles from our table at a Hard Rock Cafe once. When we got outside he pulled it from his jacket with it still lit.
#69
My great uncle used to follow civil rights protests around to sell them w*ed. He also was tripping balls at the I had a dream speech.
#70
My uncle has stolen allegedly over 1000 cars and done other various nefarious things to fund his h****n habit. Got 8 years in prison, got clean during that but was diagnosed with cancer after 7 years of prison and d**d like 2 months later.
#71
My father tells this story of a time his friends picked him up in a stolen Camaro for a joy ride and at the end of the night the stupid driver decided to use a gas card they found in the glove box to fill up the tank. When everyone in the car realized that this would help the cops find the car they drove it to a lot stripped it of all the parts they could use on other cars and lit a gasoline soaked rag and hung it out of the gas tank. This explosion rocked the town and no one ever figured out who did it other than us hearing the story 35 years later.
#72
My uncle Steve had an ongoing feud with a local cop in Idaho, and one day he stole some blasting caps and dynamite from the mine he worked at and tried to blow up the officer’s police car. It didn’t work, because apparently it was just a greasy paper bag under the car with wires sticking out, and my uncle’s “friend” ratted him out after the b**b was discovered and disposed of. My uncle ended up serving somewhere between 5 and 10 years in prison, but on the bright side that was the event that led to him getting sober and dedicating himself to the Program. Now he’s over 10 years clean and sober and is in a leadership position of his local AA chapter, and has helped hundreds of people get their lives together since. He’s still a racist a*****e, but you take what positive change you can get.
#73
My mum dated a man who was a mafia hitman. He k****d a pretty high profile target, too.
My dad grew w**d occasionally.
My brothers once stole my dad's car and destroyed it because they worked for him for a while and he didn't end up paying him.
I've sold illicit goods. Mostly because I was quitting and has them on hand.
I guess I have a family of degenerates.
#74
As 6yo child i set something on fire , almost cause an entire houseblock to go up in flames .
#75
Myself and a friend once stole the statue of Colonel Sanders from a Japanese KFC. We were both in the military at the time and we took it to our unit and placed it behind the desk of our battalion commander, who was Colonel Sanders. We also broke into his quarters at the BOQ and stole a uniform to put on it. Our drunken version of an April 1 prank.
He was a pretty chill guy and thought it was extremely funny.
The Japanese Police were less amused.
Other than that, I guess there was the time my maternal grandfather was 'investigated' by the Russian Army for the m****r of 100 or so German POWs.
I never got the full story from my Bushka before she passed, but there were a few things in his belongings that hinted at it.
#76
I don’t know what it’s called, like industrial espionage?
Basically, 20 years ago, my dad enlisted talented-computer-kid me to create a fake pricing invoice from a rival company to make it appear to the potential customer that they were much more expensive than Dad’s company’s offer, even though the competitor was way cheaper, though much lower quality.
I think the whole thing was around $380k.
#77
My friends and I broke into my school at 5am and installed a 30ft tall Christmas tree in the courtyard - we propped it up by taking the cover off a drain and placing the tree in it. It was B&E for a good cause.
#78
My cousin in Youngstown, Oh used to rob people selling goods on facebook. Got caught after him and accomplice m******d a man over a PS3. Good times.
#79
My aunt came home one evening to find that her son had broken in, k****d her dog and was eating it, and then tried to k**l her. He was a hardcore a****t and it fried his brain badly.
I don't know what he was on at the time, but he was a******d to a myriad of d***s and m**h was his d**g of choice.
It happened a few years ago, and I don't know this side of the family that well.
He was arrested, and I believe has recently been released.
And for those of you asking about the state of the dog: It was raw.
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Rachel Reynolds 20 hours ago
My great grand mother went through three husbands. One confirmed d**d, two who just...went away on day. For the record, one of them put her in the hospital, one put her son, my great uncle, in the hospital, and the third one spent every cent on alcohol AND was massively a*****e.
Rachel Reynolds 20 hours ago
My great grand mother went through three husbands. One confirmed d**d, two who just...went away on day. For the record, one of them put her in the hospital, one put her son, my great uncle, in the hospital, and the third one spent every cent on alcohol AND was massively a*****e.
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