A wayward or meanspirited comment can really put a downer on any celebration. And even though what truly matters is that the hosts are happy with what they’re doing, it’s still annoying to know that someone’s judging you on all of your organizational decisions.
Redditor u/Propane_Powered_Bees recently shared how his coworker tried to shame him for the food that the OP had planned for his wedding. The colleague’s comments were very insulting and showed that some people have a very narrow understanding of what weddings can be like. It’s not all about delicate finger food and tiny dinner portions, people! Read on for the full story, and to see what the internet had to say about the situation.
There’s no single ‘right’ way to throw a wedding. The marrying couple needs to be honest with themselves about what they truly want
Image credits: Jonathan Borba (not the actual photo)
A man shared how his colleague tried to shame him for having a different approach to the wedding menu
Image credits: photovs (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Propane_Powered_Bees
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)
It’s best to ignore critical comments if they’re not coming from a place of love or support
When you start organizing your wedding, a lot of social pressure appears out of the woodwork. Everyone from your parents, distant relatives, and friends to your colleagues and even casual acquaintances will have an opinion about what you should (not) do.
It would be exhausting to argue with everyone about how you’re genuinely content with your choices. So it’s best to either politely smile and nod along, use a bit of humor to defuse the tension, or simply ignore the comments.
Some of these people will actually think that they’re being helpful and doing you a favor. They might not be aware that what they’re saying is rude. Others, however, want to show that they have better taste than you. They’re trying to make themselves feel better by putting you down. If you stay calm, cool, and collected, you’re denying them what they want—an emotional reaction.
“If someone is providing criticism just to do it, not because they want to help you, just brush it off,” PMA Photography suggests not reacting to comments made by people who just want to hurt you.
Instead, it’s far better to focus on the people who support you and your decisions. If you’re second-guessing every tiny little detail because of a random comment, you’ll end up burned out in no time. Whether you want a backyard wedding or to feel like a princess out of your favorite fairytale, stick to your vision.
Image credits: Amar Preciado (not the actual photo)
Focusing on what you want, instead of impressing everyone else, can save you a ton of money
The groom wrote on r/weddingshaming that he was incredibly satisfied with how his wedding turned out, as were his nearest and dearest. Not only that, but by making it a more intimate ceremony and reception, the couple was able to save a lot of money in the process.
The entirety of their Big Day cost them $6,000. This just goes to show that when you organize things the way that makes you happy, instead of stressing out about leaving a fab impression on your social circle, you can work with a far smaller budget.
In the United States, in 2023, the average wedding costs around $29,000. However, they get far more expensive in some parts of the country, like in New York City. According to a report by the online wedding planning site Zola, an average wedding there will set you back a jaw-dropping $43,536.
Meanwhile, the average number of guests attending these weddings falls between 130 to 150 people. And that’s a lot of folks with different tastes to cater to. The OP had 32 guests at his wedding, so it was far easier to manage.
Image credits: Hernán Toro (not the actual photo)
So long as the guests are enjoying the food, it doesn’t matter how (in)expensive it is
Of course, treating your guests well is important. But you’ll impress them far more with how happy you two are, not with fancy food. So long as there’s something delicious to munch in between the dancing, whether it’s pigs in blankets or graceful finger food, we know we’d be content. Yummy food doesn’t have to break the bank.
If your wedding budget is tight, or you and your social circle have culinary backgrounds, you could always ask your guests to bring a dish to the reception, instead of a gift. The Inspired Bride notes that potluck wedding receptions can be “a wonderful way” to bring the family together.
However, this idea only works if all or most of your guests are local and are likely to enjoy the idea of cooking and transporting the food. Alternatively, you can provide all of the food, and embrace
The readers were very supportive of the groom. Here’s what they said
A few people shared the ‘untraditional’ food that they served at their own weddings. Their choices were real hits
Colleague would have been escorted out to find his own "non-commoner" food
Load More Replies...
My wife and I eloped in Hawaii. 6 months later I rented a party tent and we put it up in my sister's expansive backyard. 100 guests. Got sushi (she's Japanese America) and souvlaki and Greek salad (I'm Greek American). I put together a playlist on my iPod, borrowed a sound system from a DJ friend. With booze and tent rental, I think we spent about $3,000 (2009). It was casual and relaxed and everybody had a blast. That worked for us. The point being, backyard weddings can be great...
Ok but this all just made me hungry for tacos and BBQ and Mac & cheese… it’s a shame there isn’t a roving food truck in my neighborhood at 6am, because they’d make a fortune off me right now. Someone invite me to a backyard wedding, ASAP!
You could get married in an actual dump and it still would not be my business to say anything or to judge anyone. It's called being happy. That's all that matters. Their wedding sounded very nice. And the food sounded awesome.
Saying “white trash” is racist. That’s not cool. Their wedding was fine. Plus the wedding is whatever the bride and groom want it to be.
You had enjoyable wedding that did not cost fortune and ate food you like. Your coworker is stupid.
My parents got married at the courthouse with my grandmothers and great grandmother present and then they had their wedding meal at Pizza Hut. They will be celebrating their forty fourth anniversary this month.
We could afford a big wedding but it's so not our thing. We had family gathered already for our daughters 2nd birthday at our family cabin. We had an officiant and a photographer friend come out and surprised everyone with a little wedding. Said vows in the woods in our favorite palce, and had family portraits done for everyone. I had a white summer dress that was $16 on clearance and my husband wore jeans. It lasted about 30 min with pictures, that was it and it was perfect.
My wife and I got married in our backyard. She and her daughters wore basic nice dresses. I was the only one wearing a tie. We had a catered barbecue, huge pieces of beef slow cooked and bbq chicken. At 3pm I changed and jumped in the pool. Great wedding. Tell the coworker to pound sand in their a*s.
Hahahhaa... less than 12 people at our Halloween, backyard costume wedding! No dinner, Just our favorite Costco Cakes with a custom topper and Ice cream. Got married at 1pm by Darth Vader dressed as a dark Jedi and the Mandalorian with Grogu as our ring bearer. Had cake, visited then got ready for the zombie invasion in the front yard for the trick-or-treaters! BEST time ever!!!
Best wedding I went to was a BBQ. Friends and family invited to a bbq, at sunset we were asked to gather around their dam - they exchanged vows, lit candles on the damn, we partied. They didn't tell anyone because they didn't want any fuss or presents or for people to get stressed over plus ones, children, or clothes - it was the perfect mix of intimate and fun.
It's not that easy to get 200 portions of chicken cooked perfectly and all ready to be served at the same time.
Load More Replies...
We had burgers and dogs for our wedding, which was held in a local park by the house I grew up in. My wife made our cake from scratch, it was delicious, everybody had a great time, cleaned up after themselves, and we were gone before the mosquitoes arrived at dark. It was perfect, and we would do it again in a heartbeat. OP's colleague is just jelly.
My husband and I eloped in Bangkok. Neither of us cared about weddings but, coming form different countries, we wanted to make sure we could be together if someone got sick or we had visa problems. It started as a practicality, but ended up being a super funny, chaotic, romantic day that was just about the two of us and our love. I wore jeans, we had no cake, our one "splurge" was on a bottle of wine that we shared that evening. It was perfect. We've been together 11 years now. Do what's right for you!
Miss Manners had this covered in her column long ago: “I’m sorry you’re not enjoying yourself. I wouldn’t dream of keeping you.”
How did it become normal for so many people to miss the real point of a wedding?
We had a backyard wedding with 12 people during covid (immediate family only and not even all of them) and I wouldn't change a thing. We ordered pizza, wings and beef on weck (we're in Buffalo, NY so pretty standard Buffalo fare). It was awesome.
Never got to finish my post, premature posting. Yup $100 all in but there were only 4 of us. Never regretted it for a second, and we are still going strong
Your coworker sounds like an a**e. The wedding sounds great. It's the right move to save cash for a house deposit instead. My wedding ( 27 years ago ) was $100. All I
I've read a reputable article recently on research that found the more extravagant the wedding, the higher the eventual rate of divorce. It makes sense if you think about it.
Weddings aren't "supposed" to be anything except what the bride and groom would love. If someone wants a fancy wedding, awesome. If they want a backyard wedding? Also awesome. If they serve a food they love, but I don't like it? No probs. I'll nosh on sides, and eat more at home later. It's not about me. It's not about anyone except the bride and groom, and the union of their love.
Your wedding sounds perfect, don't let a stick up their a*s try and say other wise. My wedding was under 3k, my mum's backyard (on a bit of land), about 30ish people. My first wedding was army style (about 200 people) and out of the two, give me my second wedding again.
Pft, I went to a wedding last year with "posh" food. It isn't posh if it's badly cooked. Beef wellington but made with spinach instead of pancake/pancetta which meant it had a horrible metallic taste killing the flavour of the duxelle and meat, plus the meat was massively overcooked. The potatoes were undercooked and the whole thing was pretty inedible. I'd have much preferred a Chinese takeaway.
What a crazy person to see a nice and comfy wedding and food as trash... It sounds like a nice way to celebrate a wedding... In India, we see such crazy weddings where the bride's family goes bankrupt thanks to such lavish weddings... many indians are paid by the bride's family though that is now slowly fading. But the lavish part is still there and the food is sad.. waste of money
I can't believe the brass necks of some people! They were obviously invited because they thought he was a friend. I'm glad we opted for a Registry Office back in the day, then went with friends and family to a local restaurant. It was a great day and our bank balances were still healthy.
Nothing wrong with this food at all! Whoever said this is a pretentious p****k Imagine marrying him? ER NO THANK
If they matter they don't mind and if they mind they don't matter
When I thought I'd get married someday, it was going to be a Halloween theme, costumes encouraged bout not mandatory, but definitely low-key & comfy. Pizza, pop, White Castle sliders, some liquor, would be mostly BYOB, cupcakes, etc. Very child-friendly too. I'd just want the people who I love & love me to celebrate someone actually wanting to be with my loser a*s for life. Obviously never happened, but super casual is the best.
Solution is simple, if you don't like it, don't eat! Nobody is forcing you to eat.
Also: husband and I didn't like the tiny ham and cheese finger sandwiches served at almost every wedding we went to. So when we got married, our main course was six inch Subway sandwich party platters! They were delicious, and I did NOT go home hungry that night!
That coworker is trashy. My wedding a decade ago was $1,041 including dress. It was a a lovely park, it has like 50 guests, a couple kegs, and a lot of fun and we had more money for the honeymoon, which we were literally just talking about a few hours ago. Everyone who went had a lot of fun. (The wedding, not the honeymoon lol). OP sounds like he had a fantastic wedding.
I'm gonna tear up some pigs in a blanket wherever I find them.
I found a book called the White Trash Cookbook. My favorite recipe consisted of white bread, mayo and potato chips.
As someone who cooks the food for the super expensive fancy weddings & events....I would totally go with your menu. Perhaps I've had one too many filets cooked perfectly it's like who cares? It's old & tired. Plus, when I actually attend one of those functions, i'm always hungry an hr or two later.
I went to an 'expensive' wedding in London in the early 80's. It was dry so everybody wandered off to the bar downstairs in the same building and came back up for the meal. Lovely crispy chicken Kiev which was still frozen solid in the middle. I, along with a number of other guests, made my excuses and pissed off back to the bar. The rest of the evening progressed as per expectations.
Colleague would have been escorted out to find his own "non-commoner" food
Load More Replies... My wife and I eloped in Hawaii. 6 months later I rented a party tent and we put it up in my sister's expansive backyard. 100 guests. Got sushi (she's Japanese America) and souvlaki and Greek salad (I'm Greek American). I put together a playlist on my iPod, borrowed a sound system from a DJ friend. With booze and tent rental, I think we spent about $3,000 (2009). It was casual and relaxed and everybody had a blast. That worked for us. The point being, backyard weddings can be great...
Ok but this all just made me hungry for tacos and BBQ and Mac & cheese… it’s a shame there isn’t a roving food truck in my neighborhood at 6am, because they’d make a fortune off me right now. Someone invite me to a backyard wedding, ASAP!
You could get married in an actual dump and it still would not be my business to say anything or to judge anyone. It's called being happy. That's all that matters. Their wedding sounded very nice. And the food sounded awesome.
Saying “white trash” is racist. That’s not cool. Their wedding was fine. Plus the wedding is whatever the bride and groom want it to be.
You had enjoyable wedding that did not cost fortune and ate food you like. Your coworker is stupid.
My parents got married at the courthouse with my grandmothers and great grandmother present and then they had their wedding meal at Pizza Hut. They will be celebrating their forty fourth anniversary this month.
We could afford a big wedding but it's so not our thing. We had family gathered already for our daughters 2nd birthday at our family cabin. We had an officiant and a photographer friend come out and surprised everyone with a little wedding. Said vows in the woods in our favorite palce, and had family portraits done for everyone. I had a white summer dress that was $16 on clearance and my husband wore jeans. It lasted about 30 min with pictures, that was it and it was perfect.
My wife and I got married in our backyard. She and her daughters wore basic nice dresses. I was the only one wearing a tie. We had a catered barbecue, huge pieces of beef slow cooked and bbq chicken. At 3pm I changed and jumped in the pool. Great wedding. Tell the coworker to pound sand in their a*s.
Hahahhaa... less than 12 people at our Halloween, backyard costume wedding! No dinner, Just our favorite Costco Cakes with a custom topper and Ice cream. Got married at 1pm by Darth Vader dressed as a dark Jedi and the Mandalorian with Grogu as our ring bearer. Had cake, visited then got ready for the zombie invasion in the front yard for the trick-or-treaters! BEST time ever!!!
Best wedding I went to was a BBQ. Friends and family invited to a bbq, at sunset we were asked to gather around their dam - they exchanged vows, lit candles on the damn, we partied. They didn't tell anyone because they didn't want any fuss or presents or for people to get stressed over plus ones, children, or clothes - it was the perfect mix of intimate and fun.
It's not that easy to get 200 portions of chicken cooked perfectly and all ready to be served at the same time.
Load More Replies... We had burgers and dogs for our wedding, which was held in a local park by the house I grew up in. My wife made our cake from scratch, it was delicious, everybody had a great time, cleaned up after themselves, and we were gone before the mosquitoes arrived at dark. It was perfect, and we would do it again in a heartbeat. OP's colleague is just jelly.
My husband and I eloped in Bangkok. Neither of us cared about weddings but, coming form different countries, we wanted to make sure we could be together if someone got sick or we had visa problems. It started as a practicality, but ended up being a super funny, chaotic, romantic day that was just about the two of us and our love. I wore jeans, we had no cake, our one "splurge" was on a bottle of wine that we shared that evening. It was perfect. We've been together 11 years now. Do what's right for you!
Miss Manners had this covered in her column long ago: “I’m sorry you’re not enjoying yourself. I wouldn’t dream of keeping you.”
How did it become normal for so many people to miss the real point of a wedding?
We had a backyard wedding with 12 people during covid (immediate family only and not even all of them) and I wouldn't change a thing. We ordered pizza, wings and beef on weck (we're in Buffalo, NY so pretty standard Buffalo fare). It was awesome.
Never got to finish my post, premature posting. Yup $100 all in but there were only 4 of us. Never regretted it for a second, and we are still going strong
Your coworker sounds like an a**e. The wedding sounds great. It's the right move to save cash for a house deposit instead. My wedding ( 27 years ago ) was $100. All I
I've read a reputable article recently on research that found the more extravagant the wedding, the higher the eventual rate of divorce. It makes sense if you think about it.
Weddings aren't "supposed" to be anything except what the bride and groom would love. If someone wants a fancy wedding, awesome. If they want a backyard wedding? Also awesome. If they serve a food they love, but I don't like it? No probs. I'll nosh on sides, and eat more at home later. It's not about me. It's not about anyone except the bride and groom, and the union of their love.
Your wedding sounds perfect, don't let a stick up their a*s try and say other wise. My wedding was under 3k, my mum's backyard (on a bit of land), about 30ish people. My first wedding was army style (about 200 people) and out of the two, give me my second wedding again.
Pft, I went to a wedding last year with "posh" food. It isn't posh if it's badly cooked. Beef wellington but made with spinach instead of pancake/pancetta which meant it had a horrible metallic taste killing the flavour of the duxelle and meat, plus the meat was massively overcooked. The potatoes were undercooked and the whole thing was pretty inedible. I'd have much preferred a Chinese takeaway.
What a crazy person to see a nice and comfy wedding and food as trash... It sounds like a nice way to celebrate a wedding... In India, we see such crazy weddings where the bride's family goes bankrupt thanks to such lavish weddings... many indians are paid by the bride's family though that is now slowly fading. But the lavish part is still there and the food is sad.. waste of money
I can't believe the brass necks of some people! They were obviously invited because they thought he was a friend. I'm glad we opted for a Registry Office back in the day, then went with friends and family to a local restaurant. It was a great day and our bank balances were still healthy.
Nothing wrong with this food at all! Whoever said this is a pretentious p****k Imagine marrying him? ER NO THANK
If they matter they don't mind and if they mind they don't matter
When I thought I'd get married someday, it was going to be a Halloween theme, costumes encouraged bout not mandatory, but definitely low-key & comfy. Pizza, pop, White Castle sliders, some liquor, would be mostly BYOB, cupcakes, etc. Very child-friendly too. I'd just want the people who I love & love me to celebrate someone actually wanting to be with my loser a*s for life. Obviously never happened, but super casual is the best.
Solution is simple, if you don't like it, don't eat! Nobody is forcing you to eat.
Also: husband and I didn't like the tiny ham and cheese finger sandwiches served at almost every wedding we went to. So when we got married, our main course was six inch Subway sandwich party platters! They were delicious, and I did NOT go home hungry that night!
That coworker is trashy. My wedding a decade ago was $1,041 including dress. It was a a lovely park, it has like 50 guests, a couple kegs, and a lot of fun and we had more money for the honeymoon, which we were literally just talking about a few hours ago. Everyone who went had a lot of fun. (The wedding, not the honeymoon lol). OP sounds like he had a fantastic wedding.
I'm gonna tear up some pigs in a blanket wherever I find them.
I found a book called the White Trash Cookbook. My favorite recipe consisted of white bread, mayo and potato chips.
As someone who cooks the food for the super expensive fancy weddings & events....I would totally go with your menu. Perhaps I've had one too many filets cooked perfectly it's like who cares? It's old & tired. Plus, when I actually attend one of those functions, i'm always hungry an hr or two later.
I went to an 'expensive' wedding in London in the early 80's. It was dry so everybody wandered off to the bar downstairs in the same building and came back up for the meal. Lovely crispy chicken Kiev which was still frozen solid in the middle. I, along with a number of other guests, made my excuses and pissed off back to the bar. The rest of the evening progressed as per expectations.
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