Kids Bullied My Son For Something He Can Never Change, So I Want Everyone To Know That Words Hurt

October is National Bullying Prevention Month in the United States. Bullying is a problem that exists everywhere, from schools to sports to church. Basically, everywhere you look.

I was bullied as a child. I was “that kid” –  the last kid picked, got called names, was never invited to classmates’ birthday parties and was pretty much excluded. However, when I was back home, I was in my safe zone. I didn’t have to worry about the names, what I was wearing or who I was! It’s different for today’s generation. They have no escape. Cyber-bullying is huge nowadays, it’s literally at the tips of our children’s fingers. We have social media and cell phones that we could turn off, but once they are turned back on it starts all over again. It’s just a never-ending cycle.

Of all the things I thought I would do as a mother, I never thought I’d be writing an insert about anti-bullying for my photography. But one day my son came home from kindergarten and told me that he was made fun of for his bumps. My heart was broken. Here is my 6-year-old getting bullied for something he was born with, something that is making him himself. I felt angry, upset and lost.

So here I am, writing this and photographing to show that words do hurt and kids can no longer be just kids these days.

I sat with my two sons (age 14 and 12) for this project. They explained to me the things that go on in school, things that are said, and the peer pressure that happens. Thankfully, my kids’ school has always been willing to listen and understand when I have had a concern, and they take bullying seriously. But I not all parents are equally lucky.

I also met with a 17-year-old Chasity, an amazing young lady who has her whole life ahead of her. As I sat there and listened to her stories I was in disbelief that anyone wouldn’t take the time to get to know her and base everything on her personality and looks, because her heart is pure gold. Here is her story from middle school.

“With all of the experiences I’ve had with bullying, this one time in 7th grade always stands out to me. I was very depressed, I dressed and acted like a stereotypical “emo”. At the time, I was also kind of chubby and was dating this guy named Ryan. A lot of the kids in 8h grade liked to pick on me and laugh at me already, but one day one of them came up with a pretty cruel name, although it might not seem as harmful as it was – “Fat Emo Dating Ryan”. It seems silly that that would be the one instance that stands out to me the most, but at the time, this name was much more painful than other things they had said. Being dubbed the “Fat Emo Dating Ryan” made me feel that those things were all I was worth. I was suddenly stripped of who I was, and my entire worth was based on my weight, my looks, and who I was dating. This didn’t bode very well for me either, as I was already very self-conscious of my weight, which was the main factor of why I was depressed in the first place. Having my worth rely upon my relationship was problematic too, considering I wasn’t very happy and it was honestly a kind of abusive relationship too.”

She ends with this:

“There’re so many things left out there in the world to see, and people to meet, and events to be a part of. It’s all there, waiting for you, you just have to be there to see it all.”

Can we say more powerful than that?!

10% of parents know that their children are being bullied. We need to stand up for our kids and help end bullying. We need to be proactive in our children’s lives. We need to sit down and talk to our children, be a part of their lives, be there for them and hear them.

According to the CDC, suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death among young people, resulting in about 4,400 deaths per year. For every suicide among young people, there are at least 100 suicide attempts. Over 14 percent of high school students have considered suicide, and almost 7 percent have attempted it.

Get help in the United States by texting “home” to 741741, to contact a trained crisis counselor for free 24/7 support or calling 1 800-273-8255 for the Suicide Crisis Hotline, which is available 27/7.

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