Woman Wants To Know If She Is The Jerk For Charging Her Sister $3,400 For A Painting Her 9 Y.O. Nephew Ruined
People who have children definitely have many stories about how their little ones surprise them every day. And not all of the stories are fun and games. Kids are known to cause some serious trouble and it’s the parents who have to clean up the mess that follows.
At least that’s what others expect from the parents. Like this Reddit user who got her painting that was meant for a client destroyed by her nephew. So she asked her sister, who is the boy’s mom, to pay £2,500 (about $3,400) for the damages; however, the sister was not seeing her kid’s blame in the situation.
More info: Reddit
An artist is demanding her sister pay £2,500 (about $3,400) for a painting her child destroyed when she specifically told everyone to not go into her art studio
Image credits: Valentina Powers (not the actual photo)
The original poster (OP) of the story was an artist, 26 years old at the time, who goes by the username CattFen on Reddit. She organized a New Year’s celebration for her family but specified that she didn’t want any kids to come.
Her sister, who she calls Lucy in the story, has a 9-year-old son who is named Ethan in the post and Lucy couldn’t find a babysitter for the evening so she came to the party with her son.
The artist invited her family to celebrate New Year’s and it was supposed to be an adults-only party
Image credits: CattFen
CattFen is a serious artist and had an art studio in her house which had a sign forbidding entry to it on the door. And she also verbally announced that nobody was to enter that room. But knowing that kids can get bored really easily and like to break the rules, the OP set up her boyfriend’s PS4 to keep Ethan entertained.
Apparently, it wasn’t entertaining enough for him as at 10pm, a crashing sound came from the studio and when the artist went to look at what happened, she saw Ethan having fun with the supplies in the room. And more importantly, he ruined a painting that was meant for a client and now needed to be started over.
The artist has an art studio in her home and she told her guests that nobody was allowed to enter there
Image credits: CattFen
The next day, the OP sent a bill of £2,500, which would be about $3,400, to her sister as it was a commission. In the comments, the artist explained, “The £2500 is based on a few things. I will have to redo the painting as it was for a client. All the other items were destroyed. (The acrylics fell and he squirted them out. Very expensive acrylics!) The other time I will take me to redo the work (it was maybe 1/3 the way done) I will be receiving around £6000 for the work.” She also added that she wouldn’t have asked for money if the painting wasn’t an order from a client.
However, that didn’t stop her nephew and after a while she found him ruining her artwork an supplies
Image credits: CattFen
She also explained that Lucy’s husband is “VERY successful and she’s a SAHM (no disrespect). They can afford it 100%.” And she mentions in the post that her sister’s husband was not against paying. If you are wondering if Lucy has a reason why she shouldn’t pay, apparently she told her sister that “kids will be kids.”
Image credits: CattFen
The artist sent a bill to her sister so she would cover the damage but the family was divided on who is right in the situation
Image credits: CattFen
Another detail to have in mind is that the whole situation was probably not an accident. In another comment, CattFen detailed the layout of the house and how the studio is connected to it: “my kitchen and garage are connected, and next to the kitchen there’s a door to the living room. Through the garage there are two openings. The main garage door was open, but the side door that’s connected to the kitchen wasn’t. The kid went out of the house, into the garage through the car entrance and accessed my studio. (Which is next to the garage).” Which suggests that the kid didn’t accidentally stumble upon the door and went to see what’s inside out of curiosity.
Image credits: CattFen
What is your verdict? Is the artist in the right to demand compensation for her ruined work that she spent 15 hours on and for the damaged supplies? Or do you think that she shouldn’t be so serious about it because it involves a child which is also her nephew? Leave your thoughts in the comments!
Redditors were unanimous and saw no blame of the artist, saying that the child was old enough to know better
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Since it has not been mentioned..."Lucy" is 24 and has a 9 year old. That'd make her 15 when she had him. Guess good decisions aren't really her thing.
No in my opinion, at nine years old he knew what he was doing; and seemed to be doing it on purpose.
Exactly. She said that he was there laughing and smearing the paint. He clearly did it on purpose. When I was 9, I couldn't even think about destroying something for fun. I was not raised like that. She should bear the consequences of the non-upbringing of her son. She's turning him into a small psychopath.
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Tear up the bill, and send a new and itemized one. One that includes the price of a good solid door to the studio with a lock, since the little s**t can't be trusted around anything of value.
Every brush, every ounce of cleanser, every drop of paint, I'm with you, @Otter.
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As an artist, if I had a commissioned pc that was stowed away in my studio an told guests not to go into my studio and someone did and ruined the artwork, first off they should apologize. Second offer to pay something for my time or supplies (especially if it was due to a parent not watching their child and then the child ruined it and my supplies), and third, I would also send them a bull if they weren't taking it seriously knowing that was how I made a living. Glad dad is on board. Maybe he could explain to mom an sis how much time an effort let alone years of practice make the value of that art. She's a c word (sis) an needs to at least make an effort to repay the damages.
I'd only send them a bull if they owned a china shop, it seems wasteful otherwise.
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Lucy is immature (having a kid at 15) and is raising an immature child (9yrs old laughing while destroying someone else's stuff he was specifically told not to go near, and he can read "Do Not Enter"). Tell Lucy and your mother that just because Lucy got knocked up while she was a child, and is raising a badly behaved child, that child is NO ONE ELSES responsibility. If the child screws up by smashing dishes in a store or ruining a family members artwork or keying a neighbors car, guess what? Mommy gets a bill in the mail. If she couldn't handle this, don't have a goddamn kid. Otherwise, everything that little hellion does is Lucy's fault until the kid turns 18 (or 16 in Scotland). Grandma is also to blame, she clearly has a horrible mentality that passed to Lucy, making her an immature little idiot. Couple of generations of moron going on in this family, give them the middle finger and go live your artistic freedom. Screw Lucy, the kid and grandma.
Same thing happened with me I was crying as hell bc the clay sculpture toook me about 29 hrs
kick the child /j but seriously get some kind of compensation i bet the sculpture was awesome and some kid just went and destroyed it
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Clearly the sister doesn't respect the value of art, and by extension, her sister's profession as an artist. If that kid had gone in to any other adults' home office and smashed, let's say, a £2,500 iMac that they used for their job, would she really have refused to pay for it in the same way? I somehow doubt she would protest in anywhere near the same fashion.
You know, I think Lucy would refuse to pay and make the injured party take her to court.
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Nine sounds like my cousin. He was also a "free spirit" who waited for the magic moment everyone's attention was off him to destroy everything he could get his hands on. When he was old enough it took less than one full week after getting his driver's license (god knows how he did that) to wrap his parents' car around a telephone pole; he spent the rest of his foreshortened life staring at the ceiling waiting for the nurse to switch out his bedpan.
I have a liability insurance on my kid. If he pulled such a stunt I would need an itemised bill for the insurance company. My kid my responsibility. Sis would be reimbursed, everything would calm down quickly.
You can insure kids? That sounds like an amazing idea.
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We all need to be accountable for our actions, regardless of age. When will people realize this and just move the hell on. It's only a number, She is married now, damn woman.
Load More Replies... Here people are bashing someone for getting pregnant at 15, meanwhile there could be hundres of reasons for someone having a baby at that age: shame, fear of abortion, not support for getting an abortion, no access to an abortion clinic, laws (looking at you, southern states), community pressure, parental pressure, failed contraceptives (they're not 100% effective), fear in general, cultural views, religious views or perhaps just free choice. I'm disappointed reading that some write her off as not being right in the head. Imagine your own daughter getting pregnant at 15 and you telling her she must not be right in the head. I'd like to hear about the proper, well-thought-through decisions people here apparently were able to make at that age. On topic: NTA.
Yeah, it's hard to say without more information. Lucy's parents must carry some of the blame for the entire situation, including their daughter having a child at 15. It is still possible they did everything right, and Lucy was just a willful child. That does happen.
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I remember being the only child at events with my parents, from maybe first grade on up. I was their fifth child, who came nine years after their fourth, so they has experience, unlike the sister here (if she’s 24 and her son is 9, then she was 15 when he was born—-WTF?). I was not restless child, never had trouble staying occupied, and was quite content to stay put. My parents brought books and things for me to read and do, and I had no trouble talking to any adults who asked what I was working on or reading. I would never have thought of leaving the room where my parents were, much less going into a room with a do not enter sign on it, and I definitely would not have purposely destroyed something belonging to someone else. Most kids, especially by the time they’re nine, are pretty good about staying out of trouble, as long as their parents have taught them right from wrong. So, the nephew here either has developmental issues, or is merely a badly brought up brat.
The kid destroyed 15 hours worth of work plus materials, which comes to be $225 per hour. To me, that seems high to charge family. Charging materials plus $100/hr seems a lot more reasonable with family.
If the lost work meant being unable to finish the work in time, and it was a commission? The entire value of the COMPLETED painting is lost, not just the time and materials spent so far. So in that case, totally fair to charge the full amount
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Your sister sounds like a lazy, entitled b*tch. I've had clearly stated "adults only" parties where a friend/acquaintance brought their child (in one case 3 of them). They were, as politely as possible, turned away at the door. One friend showed up to my "adults only" WEDDING with her 3 children in tow. (We had a nicely worded notice in all the invitations basically saying absolutely no children under the age of 12. My sister's wedding was ruined by a wailing baby, the parents of which had to actually be told to take the child outside. Duh.) As the bride, I was busy getting my makeup done, but a quick thinking relative headed her off in the parking lot before she could actually get to the church. She had the nerve to tell said relative that I had given permission, which he knew to be bullshit because I had reiterated the NO KIDS rule when the bridal party got there. She called me the following week and lit into me for not allowing her to be at my wedding. I returned the gift she had already sent me and released her from our friendship, citing that I just really couldn't be friends with a grown woman who obviously couldn't read.
My husband's cousin brought 3 kids to our adults-only wedding. They were absolute monsters, too. I hate entitled parents.
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A few thoughts. The kid should not have been put in a room where no adults could see him, away from the party. That's just a bad idea. Somebody should have been checking on him, and he should have been at home in bed by 10 am. The artist should not have asked for the money in the form of a bill. She should have asked in person or via phone with an explanation of the cost of replacements. If the sister can afford it, it's fine to ask. If not, probably not worth the hassle. Lastly, the artist should speak with the sister and husband about how the child can do something to make up for his behaviour. Maybe he could help in the studio by washing brushes, or fetching things for her, or laying out paint colours. It would be a way for him to see what goes into making a painting and how long it takes. Maybe he could learn to do some painting himself. Sounds like he needs a bit of attention.
That sounds like double punishment for OP. First, unpleasant child destroys my artwork. Then I have to babysit unpleasant child in my studio while he 'works off' his destruction. And I have to teach him manners at the same time. Nope, she doesn't deserve that.
Load More Replies... I can't conceibe such a messed up family. Sorry, everything in this story is weird. A family reunion banishing kids? That would never happen in my country. The kid's action is a scream from attention and he needs discipline. His mother is mental and had him far too young. The sisters have a strange relationship... I don't know...Just my opinion, all is weird.
Well, first of all, that's why you insure things (liability can be insured too and is not a luxury with such a child) and second I do not appreciate the way she tells that story, I don't like the way she speaks of others and I don't appreciate the whole idea of such a bill. But man... a 9 year old destroying a painting on purpose, a "mother" who could not care less and being an ass about it. Personally I think they are three people cut from the same cloth. Artists don't appreciate their work like that, sometimes it's a hit, sometimes a miss, even commissioned work can just not work out for what you had in mind. Value really is in the eye of the beholder and to be a working artist your value is in being somewhat original and developing skills so people appreciate that value. So yeah, one piece is a lot of work, but the value is bigger than that. So to me she sounds like a bitter older sister that looks down on her sister. And to be honest she's right! Her sister is a prick. No winners here if you ask me.
The work wasn't even finished yet. How is she supposed to get it insured?
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She should be compensated for the damage, but £2500 for 15 hours work seems excessive as that's not what it would cost her to reproduce.
Are you taking into account all the materials he destroyed? She mentions expensive acrylic paints that he squeezed out.
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Just look at Reddit and all the mystery on this story is revealed. The reason she invoiced her stay at home mum sister is that the childs father is quite well off. Her professional studio is also the garage. Bored Panda doing a great job of generating clicks & comments by missing out detail yet again.
Absolutely not the asshole. As a fellow artist, I know how expensive supplies can be and how long it takes to make a goddamn painting, and especially where this is CLIENT work, I would be absolutely LIVID.
What a revolting little brat! And the mother sounds like a real piece of work too. Art being destroyed makes me so angry.
Right? All the comments from non-artists trying to say it's no big deal and just replace the cost of the paint- it's infuriating. Artistic TALENT is complex. Just because someone is capable of creating a painting doesn't mean it's an effortless task. A great deal of thought, emotion, and planning go into a work of art, and the creative spark that inspires a work is often fragile and elusive. Now the artist has to re-create the piece in her head before she can put it on canvas, and she has to do that with the negative influence of having had her work destroyed by a family member. The damage is PERSONAL and so toxic. I can't imagine how difficult it must be to start over on a project that was ruined in this manner. People treat artists like they are flaky or irresponsible because they don't have "regular" jobs, but what would our world look like without the beauty of art? These sensitive people are a gift and a miracle, and deserve to be respected.
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Her sister should not have even gone to the event. When "No Children" was on the invitation, she should have honored those words, and just stayed home.
Totally NTA! If he had broken a stereo for that amount of money, they'd have to reimburse you, same goes for the art. And especially so because he ruined a piece that you were specifically making for a client…a commission!
I have a parrot that I travel with often. But he is getting older and gets stressed easier these days. I was staying with family. One day while I was going out I put a chair in front of the door with a note not to enter ( because I could not lock the door). Part of the reason was a neighbor let her child get into anything and everything when she would visit. When I got back poor bird was freaking out. So I asked about it. The neighbor came over and went in the room. I had already made it clear for no one to enter both verbally and with sign. And you had to move a chair to even get in. I was told we didn't think it would matter. I couldn't put a price on the stress caused. But I totally get why she should be reimbursed for the damages.
Something like this happened to me, not this extreme but still. I was at a liquor store, and they allow dogs to come, they love it when the customers bring there dogs in. Well my little guy last night knocked over two bottles of Vodka, and the lid broke, guess who had to but two bottles of vodka lol
I really take issue with parents letting their offspring run amok. Look your wee demon may be the absolute gem in your eyes but to everyone else they are just annoying little shites.
The person who mentions kids in car dealerships is so spot on. The showroom cars are usually there because we want to showcase them and not leave them outside. They are NOT a McDonald's play area! Unfortunately we can't scold kids when their parents are buying a different car. God forbid we lose them as a customer for asking them not to damage a $60k car someone else is going to buy. (Also some adults are just as bad!) Treat everything as if you paid for it even if it's not yours!
I'm having so much trouble imagining how a 9 year old could be so immature as to destroy the painting while laughing about it after being in a room they were told not to go into. Like, a younger child, I'd let it go, but a 9 year old? I don't think you're going to get any money, but give a bill? Sure.
The thing that shocks me is the abusive delight the kid seemed to get out of destroying things. He's gotten away with this kind of behavior for a long time (sis couldn't find a sitter? Wonder why....) The sister sounds like she just enables it. This kid has a lot of problems. If sis thinks it's cute now, wait till he hits puberty. It'll be DIsneyland. Meanwhile, you can't really charge her what a finished work or art would be. You can charge her for the destroyed paints and price of clean up. Maybe that's "compromising" a bit but if this kid broke an expensive item at your mom's or other relative I'm sure they wouldn't just smile and shrug it off. "Art" is often seen as a cute little hobby to people, and not the hard work, sweat and time it really is. So, they're disrespecting you on so many levels. Your sis is a toxic mess and so is the kid. Stand your ground. Ask for compensation. Then put a lot of distance between them and those thinking it's ok.
She has every right to claim for the damage incurred. I find it so outrageous that as soon as such things happen in the family, certain family members think they have a free pass. No! In a similar situation, the boy's mother would also have to pay for the damage caused.
In my family this would have gone along the lines of:- "oh s**t... i'm so sorry... obviously I'll pay for the damage' "thanks but no... but lesson learned yeah? next time i say no entry, or no kids.. stick to it, cause this is what happens" 'yeah, will do.. and sorry again'. and everyone would have been butt hurt for about an hour, but it probably wouldn't happen every again.
Everybody is a jerk here. I worked in glass, so I knew that kids could break my work and/or hurt themselves. Guess what I did? I bought a lock for my studio and removed my glass from the shelves in the house. On the other hand, a 9yo that does that is inexcusable as well. I am starting to think they deserve each other.
That’s lost income, what else is she to do? And a 9 year old is really not small enough to see no accountability for bad behaviour. He knew what he was doing.
When my dad was a child, he used to hide his favorite toys when his cousins came to visit, because they would destroy everything they got their hands on. When his cousins grew up and had children, they'd come for a visit to play with me and my brother, and they'd break all of our stuff. Children must be TAUGHT to respect other people and their property.
The other option is to stay the hell home. This is horrifying at best to have Lucy show such disregard or disrespect towards her sister, jealous much? She knows her sister Lucy and the kid, so why invite them at all if they cannot find someone to babysit. They seem to have enough money to "buy" one. I don't believe for a second Lucy could not find a sitter. I'd rather have friends than family anyway, for real.
Why did your sister even have to come over? If she can't find a sitter, she is to do that, and if that means missing out on a party, then be it so. She decided this when she got and remained pregnant, that in any case of conflict of interest, the child's wellbeing and proper care taken about him would be priority, other would be of secondary interest. Absolutely the fault of your sister and nephew ... and ... he even laughed when ruining your work? Even more so. She has to pay.
So she should've invested in a lock on the off chance her sister brought a child to a "no child" event, refused to supervise, and then that child who is more than old enough to know better decides to deliberately disobey basic instructions AND decides to deliberately destroy something that doesn't belong to them for fun?
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Your nephew should not be awake at ten at night and your sister would have been 15 when she gave birth and her have a really successful husband this whole story is totally made up crap
NOT the asshole. If sister won't pay up for the destroyed commission, then I suggest that going forward, wherever there is a holiday that requires that the brat Ethan gets a present, the artist whose work got ruined sends the child a picture of what he COULD have gotten, had the artist not been shorted 2500$ by his mother. And no more presents until the total reaches 2500$--just a picture, for every birthday and Xmas. Good lesson for the brat about how consequences work, and for the irresponsible mother, who will now have to deal with a disappointed child. There's more than one way to teach a lesson!
Oh my goodness the lack of compassion from others is astounding. Yes "Lucy" was 15 when she had the kid, but unless you know her personally, you don't know the circumstances behind that. Second, the nephew is just a kid. He made a dumb mistake, but not one that should cost £2500. It would be more fair to have the sister buy whatever the new supplies would cost.
Going into a room you're not supposed to and accidentally knocking something over is a dumb mistake. Deliberately destroying something is not a mistake.
Load More Replies... I have a problem with the commenter who asked if it would be possible for the 9 yo to work off the debt. A 9 yo, especially this 9 yo, would have to be monitored constantly. I doubt he knows how to do chores, and would have to be instructed how to do everything he did. So, after all this, the artist would then be expected to babysit this kid for an extended period of time? She already mentioned she doesn't even really care for children in her house. How on earth is a 9 yo expected to pay off thousands of dollars, anyway?
Charge the sister full price and put a lock on the door that can't be unlock by anyone but you. The hours put into painting the kid ruined, can't be replace because your time is valuable to you and your clients. Your sister was so disrespectful of you and since she raised the kid chances are that won't change.
If the kid did this at your home, I can only imagine the horror he is at his home. You have more than the right to ask for your money. And NEVER invited the little snot [both him and his mother] back. Family are people you wouldn't have in your home if you weren't related to them. And your mom is as responsible for this as your sister. Why? Because she is an "enabler".
Not the asshole, but the chid bashing is a bit unnecessary, imo. S**t happens in families. The sister should pay as much as she can afford.
At nine he knows right from wrong. At 24 your sister also knows right from wrong. You most likely know that neither of them choose to do what is right on most occasions. The room should have been locked when sister showed up with child OR she should have been told to leave as soon as she arrived with child in tow. You KNOW these people, they are your family. You know probable behavior. Why would you put you valuables in their reach?
While yes, I do think they should pay, ppl need to chill with "the kid did it on purpose" because he might have gone specifically to the studio (but that can debated) is not the same to say the kid understands exactly what the full weight of his actions, of course the kid needs to be taught a lesson about respecting stuff but honestly s**t like this happen, and doesn't the kid is mentally challenged or malicious. Nevertheless, like i said mistakes and accidents do need to be paid. PS: I would've locked the door of that studio..
The kid was smearing paints and laughing. This was hardly an accident. And they are 9 years old, they are old enough to understand that they are destroying something that belongs to someone else. "S**t happens" is what you say when they accidentally knock paint over and ruin the painting, not when they deliberately open and squeeze out pains and smear it over the picture.
Load More Replies... YTA! Is it really only me who thinks that billing your family $226 an hour for the 15 hours she wasted on the destroyed painting is wrong? Talk about a priviledged and spoiled brat! If she makes that kind of money on persuing her dream, why does she have to be so petty and bother making her sisters life miserable by billing her for an accident?
Part of what goes into the cost of paintings is the cost of supplies. Professional grade paint can go anywhere from $1 for 22ml of paint to $60 for 200 ml, and probably up from that, too. So depends on the kind of paint she used, how much of it she had to buy, and the size of canvas too. Canvases can get pretty expensive as well. Plus this was client work, something she was getting paid to do, and now that client has to wait longer than any originally specified time while the artist makes a new painting and possibly buys MORE supplies.
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Take the money your sister owes you and buy a lock for the door. Even though you set rules down, best to CYA and keep your work protected.
Is it reasonable to send a bill? Sure. Is it worth it? That depends on the family dynamics. I might have seen if there was some sort of alternative arrangements. Someone mentioned the kid working off some of the debt (reasonable amount for a 9 year old) and parents should, at the bare minimum be able to pay for the ruined supplies. But I don't know if dividing the family would be worth holding steady for a $2500 bill.
What is so special about family that it shouldn’t be divided? They are just random people that you didn’t choose to be around and that might never have been your friends if they didn’t share blood. You don’t have to like family, you don’t have to stay close to family and you certainly don’t have to take crap from family. You wouldn’t take it from friends or strangers either.
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She wasn't expecting kids, so it's reasonable to assume an adult would know not to enter the studio. Her sister just showed up with her son, kind of hard to get a lock on the door at that point.
Load More Replies... The kid wasn't supposed to be there in the first place.
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She is completely in her right. She has clients to answer to and having to spend another 15 hours redoing this work pushes her behind on the other clients she has lined up. This puts her at risk for loosing a client at a potential of $2500+. Why should she have to loose out on her income because her sister couldn't watch her brat?
Load More Replies... Since it has not been mentioned..."Lucy" is 24 and has a 9 year old. That'd make her 15 when she had him. Guess good decisions aren't really her thing.
No in my opinion, at nine years old he knew what he was doing; and seemed to be doing it on purpose.
Exactly. She said that he was there laughing and smearing the paint. He clearly did it on purpose. When I was 9, I couldn't even think about destroying something for fun. I was not raised like that. She should bear the consequences of the non-upbringing of her son. She's turning him into a small psychopath.
Load More Replies... Tear up the bill, and send a new and itemized one. One that includes the price of a good solid door to the studio with a lock, since the little s**t can't be trusted around anything of value.
Every brush, every ounce of cleanser, every drop of paint, I'm with you, @Otter.
Load More Replies... As an artist, if I had a commissioned pc that was stowed away in my studio an told guests not to go into my studio and someone did and ruined the artwork, first off they should apologize. Second offer to pay something for my time or supplies (especially if it was due to a parent not watching their child and then the child ruined it and my supplies), and third, I would also send them a bull if they weren't taking it seriously knowing that was how I made a living. Glad dad is on board. Maybe he could explain to mom an sis how much time an effort let alone years of practice make the value of that art. She's a c word (sis) an needs to at least make an effort to repay the damages.
I'd only send them a bull if they owned a china shop, it seems wasteful otherwise.
Load More Replies... Lucy is immature (having a kid at 15) and is raising an immature child (9yrs old laughing while destroying someone else's stuff he was specifically told not to go near, and he can read "Do Not Enter"). Tell Lucy and your mother that just because Lucy got knocked up while she was a child, and is raising a badly behaved child, that child is NO ONE ELSES responsibility. If the child screws up by smashing dishes in a store or ruining a family members artwork or keying a neighbors car, guess what? Mommy gets a bill in the mail. If she couldn't handle this, don't have a goddamn kid. Otherwise, everything that little hellion does is Lucy's fault until the kid turns 18 (or 16 in Scotland). Grandma is also to blame, she clearly has a horrible mentality that passed to Lucy, making her an immature little idiot. Couple of generations of moron going on in this family, give them the middle finger and go live your artistic freedom. Screw Lucy, the kid and grandma.
Same thing happened with me I was crying as hell bc the clay sculpture toook me about 29 hrs
kick the child /j but seriously get some kind of compensation i bet the sculpture was awesome and some kid just went and destroyed it
Load More Replies... Clearly the sister doesn't respect the value of art, and by extension, her sister's profession as an artist. If that kid had gone in to any other adults' home office and smashed, let's say, a £2,500 iMac that they used for their job, would she really have refused to pay for it in the same way? I somehow doubt she would protest in anywhere near the same fashion.
You know, I think Lucy would refuse to pay and make the injured party take her to court.
Load More Replies... Nine sounds like my cousin. He was also a "free spirit" who waited for the magic moment everyone's attention was off him to destroy everything he could get his hands on. When he was old enough it took less than one full week after getting his driver's license (god knows how he did that) to wrap his parents' car around a telephone pole; he spent the rest of his foreshortened life staring at the ceiling waiting for the nurse to switch out his bedpan.
I have a liability insurance on my kid. If he pulled such a stunt I would need an itemised bill for the insurance company. My kid my responsibility. Sis would be reimbursed, everything would calm down quickly.
You can insure kids? That sounds like an amazing idea.
Load More Replies... We all need to be accountable for our actions, regardless of age. When will people realize this and just move the hell on. It's only a number, She is married now, damn woman.
Load More Replies... Here people are bashing someone for getting pregnant at 15, meanwhile there could be hundres of reasons for someone having a baby at that age: shame, fear of abortion, not support for getting an abortion, no access to an abortion clinic, laws (looking at you, southern states), community pressure, parental pressure, failed contraceptives (they're not 100% effective), fear in general, cultural views, religious views or perhaps just free choice. I'm disappointed reading that some write her off as not being right in the head. Imagine your own daughter getting pregnant at 15 and you telling her she must not be right in the head. I'd like to hear about the proper, well-thought-through decisions people here apparently were able to make at that age. On topic: NTA.
Yeah, it's hard to say without more information. Lucy's parents must carry some of the blame for the entire situation, including their daughter having a child at 15. It is still possible they did everything right, and Lucy was just a willful child. That does happen.
Load More Replies... I remember being the only child at events with my parents, from maybe first grade on up. I was their fifth child, who came nine years after their fourth, so they has experience, unlike the sister here (if she’s 24 and her son is 9, then she was 15 when he was born—-WTF?). I was not restless child, never had trouble staying occupied, and was quite content to stay put. My parents brought books and things for me to read and do, and I had no trouble talking to any adults who asked what I was working on or reading. I would never have thought of leaving the room where my parents were, much less going into a room with a do not enter sign on it, and I definitely would not have purposely destroyed something belonging to someone else. Most kids, especially by the time they’re nine, are pretty good about staying out of trouble, as long as their parents have taught them right from wrong. So, the nephew here either has developmental issues, or is merely a badly brought up brat.
The kid destroyed 15 hours worth of work plus materials, which comes to be $225 per hour. To me, that seems high to charge family. Charging materials plus $100/hr seems a lot more reasonable with family.
If the lost work meant being unable to finish the work in time, and it was a commission? The entire value of the COMPLETED painting is lost, not just the time and materials spent so far. So in that case, totally fair to charge the full amount
Load More Replies... Your sister sounds like a lazy, entitled b*tch. I've had clearly stated "adults only" parties where a friend/acquaintance brought their child (in one case 3 of them). They were, as politely as possible, turned away at the door. One friend showed up to my "adults only" WEDDING with her 3 children in tow. (We had a nicely worded notice in all the invitations basically saying absolutely no children under the age of 12. My sister's wedding was ruined by a wailing baby, the parents of which had to actually be told to take the child outside. Duh.) As the bride, I was busy getting my makeup done, but a quick thinking relative headed her off in the parking lot before she could actually get to the church. She had the nerve to tell said relative that I had given permission, which he knew to be bullshit because I had reiterated the NO KIDS rule when the bridal party got there. She called me the following week and lit into me for not allowing her to be at my wedding. I returned the gift she had already sent me and released her from our friendship, citing that I just really couldn't be friends with a grown woman who obviously couldn't read.
My husband's cousin brought 3 kids to our adults-only wedding. They were absolute monsters, too. I hate entitled parents.
Load More Replies... A few thoughts. The kid should not have been put in a room where no adults could see him, away from the party. That's just a bad idea. Somebody should have been checking on him, and he should have been at home in bed by 10 am. The artist should not have asked for the money in the form of a bill. She should have asked in person or via phone with an explanation of the cost of replacements. If the sister can afford it, it's fine to ask. If not, probably not worth the hassle. Lastly, the artist should speak with the sister and husband about how the child can do something to make up for his behaviour. Maybe he could help in the studio by washing brushes, or fetching things for her, or laying out paint colours. It would be a way for him to see what goes into making a painting and how long it takes. Maybe he could learn to do some painting himself. Sounds like he needs a bit of attention.
That sounds like double punishment for OP. First, unpleasant child destroys my artwork. Then I have to babysit unpleasant child in my studio while he 'works off' his destruction. And I have to teach him manners at the same time. Nope, she doesn't deserve that.
Load More Replies... I can't conceibe such a messed up family. Sorry, everything in this story is weird. A family reunion banishing kids? That would never happen in my country. The kid's action is a scream from attention and he needs discipline. His mother is mental and had him far too young. The sisters have a strange relationship... I don't know...Just my opinion, all is weird.
Well, first of all, that's why you insure things (liability can be insured too and is not a luxury with such a child) and second I do not appreciate the way she tells that story, I don't like the way she speaks of others and I don't appreciate the whole idea of such a bill. But man... a 9 year old destroying a painting on purpose, a "mother" who could not care less and being an ass about it. Personally I think they are three people cut from the same cloth. Artists don't appreciate their work like that, sometimes it's a hit, sometimes a miss, even commissioned work can just not work out for what you had in mind. Value really is in the eye of the beholder and to be a working artist your value is in being somewhat original and developing skills so people appreciate that value. So yeah, one piece is a lot of work, but the value is bigger than that. So to me she sounds like a bitter older sister that looks down on her sister. And to be honest she's right! Her sister is a prick. No winners here if you ask me.
The work wasn't even finished yet. How is she supposed to get it insured?
Load More Replies... She should be compensated for the damage, but £2500 for 15 hours work seems excessive as that's not what it would cost her to reproduce.
Are you taking into account all the materials he destroyed? She mentions expensive acrylic paints that he squeezed out.
Load More Replies... Just look at Reddit and all the mystery on this story is revealed. The reason she invoiced her stay at home mum sister is that the childs father is quite well off. Her professional studio is also the garage. Bored Panda doing a great job of generating clicks & comments by missing out detail yet again.
Absolutely not the asshole. As a fellow artist, I know how expensive supplies can be and how long it takes to make a goddamn painting, and especially where this is CLIENT work, I would be absolutely LIVID.
What a revolting little brat! And the mother sounds like a real piece of work too. Art being destroyed makes me so angry.
Right? All the comments from non-artists trying to say it's no big deal and just replace the cost of the paint- it's infuriating. Artistic TALENT is complex. Just because someone is capable of creating a painting doesn't mean it's an effortless task. A great deal of thought, emotion, and planning go into a work of art, and the creative spark that inspires a work is often fragile and elusive. Now the artist has to re-create the piece in her head before she can put it on canvas, and she has to do that with the negative influence of having had her work destroyed by a family member. The damage is PERSONAL and so toxic. I can't imagine how difficult it must be to start over on a project that was ruined in this manner. People treat artists like they are flaky or irresponsible because they don't have "regular" jobs, but what would our world look like without the beauty of art? These sensitive people are a gift and a miracle, and deserve to be respected.
Load More Replies... Her sister should not have even gone to the event. When "No Children" was on the invitation, she should have honored those words, and just stayed home.
Totally NTA! If he had broken a stereo for that amount of money, they'd have to reimburse you, same goes for the art. And especially so because he ruined a piece that you were specifically making for a client…a commission!
I have a parrot that I travel with often. But he is getting older and gets stressed easier these days. I was staying with family. One day while I was going out I put a chair in front of the door with a note not to enter ( because I could not lock the door). Part of the reason was a neighbor let her child get into anything and everything when she would visit. When I got back poor bird was freaking out. So I asked about it. The neighbor came over and went in the room. I had already made it clear for no one to enter both verbally and with sign. And you had to move a chair to even get in. I was told we didn't think it would matter. I couldn't put a price on the stress caused. But I totally get why she should be reimbursed for the damages.
Something like this happened to me, not this extreme but still. I was at a liquor store, and they allow dogs to come, they love it when the customers bring there dogs in. Well my little guy last night knocked over two bottles of Vodka, and the lid broke, guess who had to but two bottles of vodka lol
I really take issue with parents letting their offspring run amok. Look your wee demon may be the absolute gem in your eyes but to everyone else they are just annoying little shites.
The person who mentions kids in car dealerships is so spot on. The showroom cars are usually there because we want to showcase them and not leave them outside. They are NOT a McDonald's play area! Unfortunately we can't scold kids when their parents are buying a different car. God forbid we lose them as a customer for asking them not to damage a $60k car someone else is going to buy. (Also some adults are just as bad!) Treat everything as if you paid for it even if it's not yours!
I'm having so much trouble imagining how a 9 year old could be so immature as to destroy the painting while laughing about it after being in a room they were told not to go into. Like, a younger child, I'd let it go, but a 9 year old? I don't think you're going to get any money, but give a bill? Sure.
The thing that shocks me is the abusive delight the kid seemed to get out of destroying things. He's gotten away with this kind of behavior for a long time (sis couldn't find a sitter? Wonder why....) The sister sounds like she just enables it. This kid has a lot of problems. If sis thinks it's cute now, wait till he hits puberty. It'll be DIsneyland. Meanwhile, you can't really charge her what a finished work or art would be. You can charge her for the destroyed paints and price of clean up. Maybe that's "compromising" a bit but if this kid broke an expensive item at your mom's or other relative I'm sure they wouldn't just smile and shrug it off. "Art" is often seen as a cute little hobby to people, and not the hard work, sweat and time it really is. So, they're disrespecting you on so many levels. Your sis is a toxic mess and so is the kid. Stand your ground. Ask for compensation. Then put a lot of distance between them and those thinking it's ok.
She has every right to claim for the damage incurred. I find it so outrageous that as soon as such things happen in the family, certain family members think they have a free pass. No! In a similar situation, the boy's mother would also have to pay for the damage caused.
In my family this would have gone along the lines of:- "oh s**t... i'm so sorry... obviously I'll pay for the damage' "thanks but no... but lesson learned yeah? next time i say no entry, or no kids.. stick to it, cause this is what happens" 'yeah, will do.. and sorry again'. and everyone would have been butt hurt for about an hour, but it probably wouldn't happen every again.
Everybody is a jerk here. I worked in glass, so I knew that kids could break my work and/or hurt themselves. Guess what I did? I bought a lock for my studio and removed my glass from the shelves in the house. On the other hand, a 9yo that does that is inexcusable as well. I am starting to think they deserve each other.
That’s lost income, what else is she to do? And a 9 year old is really not small enough to see no accountability for bad behaviour. He knew what he was doing.
When my dad was a child, he used to hide his favorite toys when his cousins came to visit, because they would destroy everything they got their hands on. When his cousins grew up and had children, they'd come for a visit to play with me and my brother, and they'd break all of our stuff. Children must be TAUGHT to respect other people and their property.
The other option is to stay the hell home. This is horrifying at best to have Lucy show such disregard or disrespect towards her sister, jealous much? She knows her sister Lucy and the kid, so why invite them at all if they cannot find someone to babysit. They seem to have enough money to "buy" one. I don't believe for a second Lucy could not find a sitter. I'd rather have friends than family anyway, for real.
Why did your sister even have to come over? If she can't find a sitter, she is to do that, and if that means missing out on a party, then be it so. She decided this when she got and remained pregnant, that in any case of conflict of interest, the child's wellbeing and proper care taken about him would be priority, other would be of secondary interest. Absolutely the fault of your sister and nephew ... and ... he even laughed when ruining your work? Even more so. She has to pay.
So she should've invested in a lock on the off chance her sister brought a child to a "no child" event, refused to supervise, and then that child who is more than old enough to know better decides to deliberately disobey basic instructions AND decides to deliberately destroy something that doesn't belong to them for fun?
Load More Replies... Your nephew should not be awake at ten at night and your sister would have been 15 when she gave birth and her have a really successful husband this whole story is totally made up crap
NOT the asshole. If sister won't pay up for the destroyed commission, then I suggest that going forward, wherever there is a holiday that requires that the brat Ethan gets a present, the artist whose work got ruined sends the child a picture of what he COULD have gotten, had the artist not been shorted 2500$ by his mother. And no more presents until the total reaches 2500$--just a picture, for every birthday and Xmas. Good lesson for the brat about how consequences work, and for the irresponsible mother, who will now have to deal with a disappointed child. There's more than one way to teach a lesson!
Oh my goodness the lack of compassion from others is astounding. Yes "Lucy" was 15 when she had the kid, but unless you know her personally, you don't know the circumstances behind that. Second, the nephew is just a kid. He made a dumb mistake, but not one that should cost £2500. It would be more fair to have the sister buy whatever the new supplies would cost.
Going into a room you're not supposed to and accidentally knocking something over is a dumb mistake. Deliberately destroying something is not a mistake.
Load More Replies... I have a problem with the commenter who asked if it would be possible for the 9 yo to work off the debt. A 9 yo, especially this 9 yo, would have to be monitored constantly. I doubt he knows how to do chores, and would have to be instructed how to do everything he did. So, after all this, the artist would then be expected to babysit this kid for an extended period of time? She already mentioned she doesn't even really care for children in her house. How on earth is a 9 yo expected to pay off thousands of dollars, anyway?
Charge the sister full price and put a lock on the door that can't be unlock by anyone but you. The hours put into painting the kid ruined, can't be replace because your time is valuable to you and your clients. Your sister was so disrespectful of you and since she raised the kid chances are that won't change.
If the kid did this at your home, I can only imagine the horror he is at his home. You have more than the right to ask for your money. And NEVER invited the little snot [both him and his mother] back. Family are people you wouldn't have in your home if you weren't related to them. And your mom is as responsible for this as your sister. Why? Because she is an "enabler".
Not the asshole, but the chid bashing is a bit unnecessary, imo. S**t happens in families. The sister should pay as much as she can afford.
At nine he knows right from wrong. At 24 your sister also knows right from wrong. You most likely know that neither of them choose to do what is right on most occasions. The room should have been locked when sister showed up with child OR she should have been told to leave as soon as she arrived with child in tow. You KNOW these people, they are your family. You know probable behavior. Why would you put you valuables in their reach?
While yes, I do think they should pay, ppl need to chill with "the kid did it on purpose" because he might have gone specifically to the studio (but that can debated) is not the same to say the kid understands exactly what the full weight of his actions, of course the kid needs to be taught a lesson about respecting stuff but honestly s**t like this happen, and doesn't the kid is mentally challenged or malicious. Nevertheless, like i said mistakes and accidents do need to be paid. PS: I would've locked the door of that studio..
The kid was smearing paints and laughing. This was hardly an accident. And they are 9 years old, they are old enough to understand that they are destroying something that belongs to someone else. "S**t happens" is what you say when they accidentally knock paint over and ruin the painting, not when they deliberately open and squeeze out pains and smear it over the picture.
Load More Replies... YTA! Is it really only me who thinks that billing your family $226 an hour for the 15 hours she wasted on the destroyed painting is wrong? Talk about a priviledged and spoiled brat! If she makes that kind of money on persuing her dream, why does she have to be so petty and bother making her sisters life miserable by billing her for an accident?
Part of what goes into the cost of paintings is the cost of supplies. Professional grade paint can go anywhere from $1 for 22ml of paint to $60 for 200 ml, and probably up from that, too. So depends on the kind of paint she used, how much of it she had to buy, and the size of canvas too. Canvases can get pretty expensive as well. Plus this was client work, something she was getting paid to do, and now that client has to wait longer than any originally specified time while the artist makes a new painting and possibly buys MORE supplies.
Load More Replies... Take the money your sister owes you and buy a lock for the door. Even though you set rules down, best to CYA and keep your work protected.
Is it reasonable to send a bill? Sure. Is it worth it? That depends on the family dynamics. I might have seen if there was some sort of alternative arrangements. Someone mentioned the kid working off some of the debt (reasonable amount for a 9 year old) and parents should, at the bare minimum be able to pay for the ruined supplies. But I don't know if dividing the family would be worth holding steady for a $2500 bill.
What is so special about family that it shouldn’t be divided? They are just random people that you didn’t choose to be around and that might never have been your friends if they didn’t share blood. You don’t have to like family, you don’t have to stay close to family and you certainly don’t have to take crap from family. You wouldn’t take it from friends or strangers either.
Load More Replies... She wasn't expecting kids, so it's reasonable to assume an adult would know not to enter the studio. Her sister just showed up with her son, kind of hard to get a lock on the door at that point.
Load More Replies... The kid wasn't supposed to be there in the first place.
Load More Replies... She is completely in her right. She has clients to answer to and having to spend another 15 hours redoing this work pushes her behind on the other clients she has lined up. This puts her at risk for loosing a client at a potential of $2500+. Why should she have to loose out on her income because her sister couldn't watch her brat?
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