“I Love Her Name But HATE It’s So Common Now”: Mom Asks If She’s Being Unreasonable For Wanting To Change Her 4-Year-Old’s Name
Giving your child their name is a huge responsibility. It will become a part of their identity and it will subtly shape how people will treat them. And like it or not, the sad fact is that some kids’ names can make them more of a target for bullies. In some rare cases, parents might even consider changing the name in order to protect them. However, this is not a story about one of those cases.
Instead, this is a tale about a mom who wanted to change her 4-year-old daughter’s name because it wasn’t as original as she’d wanted it to be. She realized that there’d be a group of girls in her daughter’s nursery class with the same name. Upset that it was ‘so common now,’ she turned to the Mumsnet crowd for advice on whether or not to change her child’s name.
Scroll down to read the mom’s full post, as well as how the internet reacted to it. You can share your thoughts about everything in the comment section, dear Pandas. What advice would you give the mom? Do you think there’s ever a ‘right’ reason to rename a child? Why do you think some parents want their kids’ names to be truly unique? Let us know how you feel.
Bored Panda got in touch with parenting blogger Samantha Scroggin, from ‘Walking Outside in Slippers,’ to hear her thoughts about changing a child’s name. You’ll find what she told us as you scroll down.
As kids grow and develop, they start identifying with their names more and more
Image credits: Nothing Ahead
However, some parents don’t fully understand this. This mom, for instance, wanted to change her 4-year-old’s name because it was ‘too common’
Image credits: Chesternut
Image credits: BBC Creative
“I imagine that many kids identify strongly with their given name from an early age. I personally know that a name being too common would not be sufficient reason for me to change one of my kids’ names years down the road,” parenting blogger Samantha, who runs ‘Walking Outside in Slippers,’ shared her thoughts about the situation with Bored Panda.
“Naming a child should be a carefully considered process before or at least shortly after a child is born. It’s hard to imagine a name suddenly becoming astronomically popular in just a few short years,” she said.
“If you want a unique name for your kid, choose one right out of the gate. But on the flip side, I think too goofy of names don’t serve kids well either. And names with very unusual spellings or that are hard to pronounce will be difficult for kids throughout school and life,” Samantha shared how some names might cause difficulties down the road.
The parenting blogger said that, in her opinion, parents suddenly calling their kid a new name would be very confusing for the child.
“They’ve already come to identify with the name and maybe even learned to write and spell it. Unless there’s a good reason, like divorcing an abusive spouse and changing the child’s last name, I’m hard-pressed to see the value in changing a child’s name. Especially just because the name is too popular.”
According to the OP, who shared her story on Mumsnet, she’d hated being one of five other people with the same name back in school. That’s why she decided her daughter would never go through the same experience ever again. However, many internet users felt like the entire renaming situation was more about how the mom felt than how her daughter did.
Many folks pointed out that the only opinion that really matters is the woman’s daughter’s: does she actually want her name to change? Others noted that you can’t suddenly change someone’s name when they’re already 4 years old. Before considering such a huge decision, you have to think about how this change will affect your child, and whether they will feel more or less secure.
What’s more, you have to consider the fact that your kid will then have to explain why their name changed to all of their friends and family members. It’s a huge can of worms that most parents probably might not want to open.
Dr. Michael Lewis, from the Rutgers Robert Wood Johnson Medical School Institute for the Study of Child Development, told Fatherly that most children can say personal pronouns (e.g. me, mine) by age two. What’s more, they can recognize themselves in the mirror. In short, that means that they begin to self-identify. And they begin to associate themselves with their name.
However, it doesn’t mean that they’ve permanently identified themselves with any particular name. Though the longer you wait, the stronger the connection. “Learning one’s name is pretty easy. You don’t call out to your child ‘hey child.’ We use personal names, and very soon the child comes to recognize that name. A child can do that within the first year of life. If parents want to name somebody after someone, they (can) keep that name but they don’t refer to the child by that name. That doesn’t cause a problem,” Dr. Lewis said.
The OP gave a small update with some additional info
Here’s how people reacted to the mom’s peculiar idea
Oh no. her child's name is not unique on planet Earth. Whatever shall happen to the child. Eek eek dismay dismay *faint*. ... said nobody ever
My daughters name is not common but not unusual and she’s got one kid with the same name in her year. They’re the only two with this name in the school. They both think it’s hilarious and call each other by their full names. I guess they are worried they’ll also get confused about who’s who. Too cute.
My husband’s coworker and his wife gave their daughter almost the exact name, first and middle, we would have given our second child if he had been a girl, like literally only one letter off. We laughed so hard when we found out and joked about how fun it would be for them in school together, confusing the teachers. We ended up having a boy tho.
Load More Replies... Oh no. her child's name is not unique on planet Earth. Whatever shall happen to the child. Eek eek dismay dismay *faint*. ... said nobody ever
My daughters name is not common but not unusual and she’s got one kid with the same name in her year. They’re the only two with this name in the school. They both think it’s hilarious and call each other by their full names. I guess they are worried they’ll also get confused about who’s who. Too cute.
My husband’s coworker and his wife gave their daughter almost the exact name, first and middle, we would have given our second child if he had been a girl, like literally only one letter off. We laughed so hard when we found out and joked about how fun it would be for them in school together, confusing the teachers. We ended up having a boy tho.
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