Christmas is supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year, but money has the ability to mess it up.
A few days ago, Reddit user MikeWood8 made a post on the platform, trying to get an outside opinion on his holidays.
You see, the guy set out to spend them with his girlfriend’s family, but things didn’t go well right from the start — he didn’t get her a gift this year.
However, Mike’s attempt to make up for it only worsened the situation. Continue scrolling to read his story and don’t miss the chat we had with dating coach Blaine Anderson about how to navigate the festive season when your relationship is just taking off.
This guy didn’t get his girlfriend a gift for Christmas
Image credits: alexlucru123 (not the actual photo)
So he developed a plan to redeem himself
But it didn’t sit right with everyone
Image credits: Maria Orlova (not the actual photo)
Image credits: MikeWood8
This story serves as a reminder that real connection matters more than big gestures in a relationship
Image credits: Mikhail Nilov (not the actual photo)
Christmas is always a little more anxiety-inducing when the (perceived) future in-laws are involved.
For those who want to accept the invitation, Blaine Anderson, dating coach and founder of Dating By Blaine, has a few pieces of advice.
“Don’t show up empty-handed. Bring a dessert, or a bottle of wine, or a candle,” she told Bored Panda. “Offer to help (e.g. with dishes or setting the table), but then avoid getting in the way if your hosts don’t need help.”
Also, “bringing a book (or something else that can occupy you) can help,” Anderson added. “Especially if it’s a family gathering and there are lots of guests you don’t know, don’t sit around waiting for your significant other (or host) to introduce you to folks. Be prepared to make your own introductions!”
But what about choosing the perfect present for your loved one?
“Gift-giving can be tricky even years into a relationship,” Anderson said.
The most common mistakes she sees people make, especially early on, are making poor stylistic assumptions when getting clothing or jewelry or giving something too big that makes the recipient feel an unwanted sense of obligation.
“Early on, the best gifts tend to be experiences you can enjoy together that will help you get to know each other better!” Anderson, who has helped over 3,000 clients find love, noted.
However, judging from the Reddit post, its author wasn’t thinking about that. The guy’s rationalization that he didn’t need to surprise his girlfriend because he’s the breadwinner in the couple tells us that he may not fully grasp the nuances of maintaining a healthy and dynamic relationship, which thrives on mutual effort and thoughtful gestures, regardless of traditional gender roles.
The plan to buy his girlfriend’s family’s cottage, on the other hand, seems too grand of a gesture even if we disregard the moral repercussions of it.
That being said, Anderson acknowledges that there are situations where it’s appropriate not to give a gift. “If you’ve only been out with a woman once or twice, a gift probably isn’t appropriate,” she explained.
“Also, when it comes to giving gifts, as the saying goes, it’s the thought that counts. A genuine and thoughtful card might make for a better ‘gift’ than an actual gift if you don’t know what to get, or you don’t want to spend on a gift for whatever reason.”
You can’t buy your way into someone’s heart. Hopefully, this guy understands that.
Image credits: Git Stephen Gitau (not the actual photo)
People who have read the guy’s story think he needs to step back and reevaluate his actions
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The phrase "they know their place economically" gave me an acid reflux flare up.
How about the part where he buys her a ring from the money her parents give him for rent. Like spending his own money is out of the question, like the xmas present.
Load More Replies...What a narcissistic douche. The reddit post is only 2 days old, I’ll watch for update that she hopefully dumped him.
Has the title change, or was I asleep when read the headline this morning? I thought it said that he did't wanna buy his girlfriend her childhood home? Obv not now, but the url is original perhaps?
Load More Replies..."I don't see how putting up a new building would affect the memories she already has from there." Wow. This guy is some sort of sociopath.
1)The whole "buy your house and rent it back to you" is always a way to profit off people in financial crisis, and almost always predatory. It's the homeowner equivalent of preditory hire-purchase agreements, except they're losing the asset, not gaining one. Financially, in this situation, the homeowner will almost always be better off selling their house to another party, and renting somewhere else, or refinancing with a mortgage provider. 2) Developer ripping down your childhood home and building something else, is a loss, even if the new building is in better condition than the previous one. 3) Even if you're a sugar daddy, any partner expects to receive a Christmas present. If this guy wanted to help, he could have offered to help with the medical bills, instead of acting like buying her childhome out from under her struggling family, demolishing it, building a different house, then renting the new house to them, is somehow a gift, not profiting from their misfortune.
Agree with everything, but #3 should be fixed. Gifts are huge part of sugar daddy-sugar baby relationships. Even if the sugar daddy isn't paying all her bills, he is absolutely giving her expensive gifts regularly. A guy, who is likely not conventionally attractive and/or has some not great personality flaws, gives a beautiful woman expensive gifts and usually pays at least some of her bills. In exchange, he gets companionship, attention from someone probably out of his league, and gets to flaunt her to his peers. This guy isn't a sugar daddy; he sounds more like he is financially abusive self-important a*****e. She marries him and he will definitely be that d**k who calls it "his money", gives her an allowance, and use the threat of withholding money to control her. Hopefully this is a flag she won't ignore.
Load More Replies...Being the breadwinner doesn't mean you can just not give someone a Christmas gift. What a jerk.
The thing that struck me the most is that in the USA people have to sell their house to be able to pay for a life-saving operation which in Europe is free.
Yep, considered cosmetic. You know what is considered necessary? Breast enhancement surgery. My friend had a breast that was 2 or 3 sizes bigger than the other one when she was in high school. Getting the smaller one enlarged was going to cost them nothing. Getting the bigger one decreased was going to make the insurance charge them, until the doctors slammed them. I hate corporations. Eat the rich, burn the buildings!
Load More Replies...He didn't buy it for her. He bought it for himself. It's what he does for a living. Great location, I'll make bucu bucks from building a bigger cottage. What an AH
I was thinking the same thing. He is saying he's buying for her, so it's hers to do what she wants, right? If not then he's buying for himself. Then he says he's going to buy her engagement ring with the money her family would be paying. So her family is paying for her engagement ring now? I'm so confused with his mentality
Load More Replies...Yep. She was either still in HS or a fresh graduate, and he was a full-fledged adult. After 30, age is just a #. Before 30, watch out for huge differences in maturity levels. This insecure dude needs a girl he can Control. A self-confident woman would be Way Too Much for him. They've been dating 4 years, he's only just met her fam, and didn't think to get his "babygirl" (gag) Any gift at all - not even a cheap candle? That confirms he's an AH who doesn't care what others think of him. Now, he's trying to score prime RE by buying their home out from under them during a medical crisis. Hope she dumps this creepy, narcissist DB & finds a Kind & Loving mate. Right now, she's just 1 of his possessions, a mere "thing" he's suddenly "shocked" to learn has feelings. What a self-serving waste of air & space.
Load More Replies...Story seems fake to me. ETA: it was the bit about using the rent money from her family to buy a ring to propose with. Just seems overkill given his claims about his finances. Also clearly not buying it 'for my babygirl' (ugh) if the income is his.
My first instinct was to also call fake... but then I realised I actually know people capable of doing this and thinking they're in the right
Load More Replies...The phrase "they know their place economically" gave me an acid reflux flare up.
How about the part where he buys her a ring from the money her parents give him for rent. Like spending his own money is out of the question, like the xmas present.
Load More Replies...What a narcissistic douche. The reddit post is only 2 days old, I’ll watch for update that she hopefully dumped him.
Has the title change, or was I asleep when read the headline this morning? I thought it said that he did't wanna buy his girlfriend her childhood home? Obv not now, but the url is original perhaps?
Load More Replies..."I don't see how putting up a new building would affect the memories she already has from there." Wow. This guy is some sort of sociopath.
1)The whole "buy your house and rent it back to you" is always a way to profit off people in financial crisis, and almost always predatory. It's the homeowner equivalent of preditory hire-purchase agreements, except they're losing the asset, not gaining one. Financially, in this situation, the homeowner will almost always be better off selling their house to another party, and renting somewhere else, or refinancing with a mortgage provider. 2) Developer ripping down your childhood home and building something else, is a loss, even if the new building is in better condition than the previous one. 3) Even if you're a sugar daddy, any partner expects to receive a Christmas present. If this guy wanted to help, he could have offered to help with the medical bills, instead of acting like buying her childhome out from under her struggling family, demolishing it, building a different house, then renting the new house to them, is somehow a gift, not profiting from their misfortune.
Agree with everything, but #3 should be fixed. Gifts are huge part of sugar daddy-sugar baby relationships. Even if the sugar daddy isn't paying all her bills, he is absolutely giving her expensive gifts regularly. A guy, who is likely not conventionally attractive and/or has some not great personality flaws, gives a beautiful woman expensive gifts and usually pays at least some of her bills. In exchange, he gets companionship, attention from someone probably out of his league, and gets to flaunt her to his peers. This guy isn't a sugar daddy; he sounds more like he is financially abusive self-important a*****e. She marries him and he will definitely be that d**k who calls it "his money", gives her an allowance, and use the threat of withholding money to control her. Hopefully this is a flag she won't ignore.
Load More Replies...Being the breadwinner doesn't mean you can just not give someone a Christmas gift. What a jerk.
The thing that struck me the most is that in the USA people have to sell their house to be able to pay for a life-saving operation which in Europe is free.
Yep, considered cosmetic. You know what is considered necessary? Breast enhancement surgery. My friend had a breast that was 2 or 3 sizes bigger than the other one when she was in high school. Getting the smaller one enlarged was going to cost them nothing. Getting the bigger one decreased was going to make the insurance charge them, until the doctors slammed them. I hate corporations. Eat the rich, burn the buildings!
Load More Replies...He didn't buy it for her. He bought it for himself. It's what he does for a living. Great location, I'll make bucu bucks from building a bigger cottage. What an AH
I was thinking the same thing. He is saying he's buying for her, so it's hers to do what she wants, right? If not then he's buying for himself. Then he says he's going to buy her engagement ring with the money her family would be paying. So her family is paying for her engagement ring now? I'm so confused with his mentality
Load More Replies...Yep. She was either still in HS or a fresh graduate, and he was a full-fledged adult. After 30, age is just a #. Before 30, watch out for huge differences in maturity levels. This insecure dude needs a girl he can Control. A self-confident woman would be Way Too Much for him. They've been dating 4 years, he's only just met her fam, and didn't think to get his "babygirl" (gag) Any gift at all - not even a cheap candle? That confirms he's an AH who doesn't care what others think of him. Now, he's trying to score prime RE by buying their home out from under them during a medical crisis. Hope she dumps this creepy, narcissist DB & finds a Kind & Loving mate. Right now, she's just 1 of his possessions, a mere "thing" he's suddenly "shocked" to learn has feelings. What a self-serving waste of air & space.
Load More Replies...Story seems fake to me. ETA: it was the bit about using the rent money from her family to buy a ring to propose with. Just seems overkill given his claims about his finances. Also clearly not buying it 'for my babygirl' (ugh) if the income is his.
My first instinct was to also call fake... but then I realised I actually know people capable of doing this and thinking they're in the right
Load More Replies...



























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