“Have I Been Eating Crazy Cakes?”: Mom Refuses To Lend Bride Her Daughter As A Flower Girl

Weddings have a way of testing friendships, family ties, and the limits of good manners. Between guest lists, budgets, and fragile egos, it’s not uncommon for people to feel overlooked. But every so often, a story comes along that manages to surprise even the most seasoned wedding attendees. Posted on the subreddit r/weddingshaming by MaudeDib, this tale of a bride who asked an acquaintance’s child to be a flower girl—while explicitly uninviting the mother—highlights how a sweet tradition can be twisted into a logistical and emotional mess.

The tradition of having a flower girl dates back centuries and is a sweet way to include a young loved one in the wedding

Young girl in a white dress holding a basket at a wedding, capturing woman stunned by acquaintance’s unusual request.

Image credits: Rawpixel (not the actual photo)

But this mom thinks her friend wanted to “employ” her daughter just for the visual effect

Woman too stunned to answer acquaintance's request to lend her daughter for wedding, feeling surprised and unsure.

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Single parent describes being too stunned to answer acquaintance’s unusual request to lend her daughter for wedding.

Text excerpt showing a woman too stunned to answer acquaintance's request to lend her daughter for wedding at intimate ceremony location.

Woman looking stunned and confused while talking on the phone, reacting to acquaintance's unusual wedding request.

Image credits: benzoix (not the actual photo)

Woman too stunned to answer an acquaintance's unexpected request to lend her daughter for wedding preparations.

Woman too stunned to answer acquaintance's bold request to lend her daughter for wedding day event.

Woman too stunned to answer acquaintance’s request to lend her daughter for wedding, feeling overwhelmed by the demand.

Alt text: Woman too stunned to respond to acquaintance’s unusual wedding request involving her daughter’s presence

Image credits: MaudeDib

The idea behind having a flower girl is to include the children of those close to you, not to use her as a prop for pictures

Young woman wearing flower crown, holding purple flower close to her face, looking stunned in outdoor natural setting

Image credits: Image by Freepik (not the actual photo)

To those of you who might not be familiar with the tradition, a flower girl is a young attendant who walks down the aisle after the ring bearer and before the bride and lays down petals. Many people choose nieces or the children of close friends to perform the duty.

Usually, flower girls are between three and seven years old and tend to be the youngest member of the bridal party.

In addition to tossing petals as she walks down the aisle, a flower girl is also expected to attend the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner alongside her parents. (Many brides also invite their flower girl to get ready with them in the morning of the day of.) To avoid situations like this one, many couples choose children whose mother or father is already in the bridal party.

A flower girl usually wears a mid- or tea-length gown and a floral wreath or hair ribbon. They also tend to carry a basket of flowers. If a bride doesn’t want the flower girl to lay down petals, she can also carry a small bouquet.

According to Emily Post’s Wedding Etiquette, a flower girl’s parents are usually the ones to pay for her dress and accessories (excluding flowers).

But it’s thought to be a nice way to include children close to the couple in their special day. Judging from the post, “Becky” was more concerned with the aesthetic of her ceremony and not the people attending, or in our case, cast overboard.

People were appalled by the bride’s request

Screenshot of a forum comment expressing shock at a woman asked to lend her daughter for a wedding.

Screenshot of online comment expressing shock and discomfort about lending daughter for wedding, highlighting woman too stunned to respond.

Woman too stunned to answer acquaintance's request to lend her daughter for isolated wedding event without parental presence.

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Woman too stunned to answer acquaintance’s unusual request to lend her daughter for wedding duties.

Woman too stunned to answer acquaintance’s unusual request to lend her daughter for wedding event discussion.

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Woman stunned and speechless after acquaintance’s unusual request to lend her daughter for wedding event.

Comment discussing woman too stunned to answer acquaintance's request to lend her daughter for wedding, calling it unreasonable.

Comment on a forum expressing shock as a woman feels too stunned to answer acquaintance's request to lend her daughter for a wedding.

Comment discussing a woman too stunned to answer acquaintance’s request to lend her daughter for a wedding, highlighting concerns.

Comment suggesting to call a local children's theater for auditions, highlighting a woman stunned by the flower girl request.

Woman looking shocked and speechless after acquaintance’s unusual request involving her daughter at a wedding.

Comment discussing concerns over inappropriate and unsafe request involving lending daughter for wedding, highlighting predatory risks.

Woman too stunned to answer acquaintance’s request to lend her daughter for wedding, concerned for daughter’s safety and love.

Comment on a social post expressing shock and refusal to lend a daughter for a wedding as requested by an acquaintance.

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Woman too stunned and uneasy about acquaintance's request to lend her daughter for wedding photoshoot.

Comment expressing shock at an acquaintance's request to borrow her daughter as a flower girl for a wedding.

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Comment about woman too stunned to answer acquaintance's request to lend her daughter for wedding, discussing selfishness and responsibility.

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Comment text on a white background, expressing shock at an acquaintance's request to lend her daughter for a wedding.

Comment expressing shock at a woman's stunned reaction to an acquaintance's wedding request involving her daughter.

Comment discussing a woman too stunned to answer an acquaintance’s request to lend her daughter for a wedding, mentioning casting roles.

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