Boyfriend Drops His “Feminist” Act After Learning That His GF Makes More Money Than Him, Accuses Her Of “Cheating The System”
Let a guy know that you earn more than him as a woman and you might just hear some insecure ranting about ‘unfairness’ and ‘nepotism.’ That’s exactly what one redditor had to deal with after her supposedly ‘feminist’ boyfriend found out that she earns nearly a third more money than he does.
Redditor No_Lingonberry_5061 shared how her significant other thought that she was ‘cheating the system’ because she was earning more money as an English literature major turned consultant than him, a cybersecurity professional. According to the guy, Tim, it was supposedly ‘unfair’ that his girlfriend used her social connections as well as existing diversity programs to get ahead of “more qualified people.”
Have a read through the redditor’s full story below and also check out how some people reacted to the entire situation. Do you have any thoughts about the story? Share your opinions and positions in the comments, dear Pandas.
A woman got accused by her ‘feminist’ boyfriend that she’s somehow ‘cheating the system’ because she earns more money than he does
Image credits: PixelsEffect (not the actual photo)
It’s no surprise that most redditors thought that the original poster did absolutely nothing wrong for calling her boyfriend an insecure little boy. Some internet users went as far as to suggest that the woman dump her “sexist and toxic” boyfriend. As it turns out, the guy wasn’t as ‘feminist’ as he wanted others to think he was.
You’d think the fact that his girlfriend was making more money would be a reason to celebrate. After all, Tim and his partner were even moving into a new place together and who could say ‘no’ to more financial stability?
However, Tim was more concerned with arguing and wanting to be ‘right’ than he was about supporting his girlfriend for getting ahead in the corporate world.
Diversity programs exist for a reason—to counter the current wage gap inequality between women and men. For instance, in the United States, women who work full time get paid 82 cents for every dollar earned by men, according to the American Association of University Women.
The AAUW adds that women now outpace men in higher education, however, they also hold “nearly two-thirds of the outstanding student debt in the United States.” Furthermore, the gender pay gap means that women have a harder time repaying their loans and even end up receiving less money in Social Security and pensions.
What’s more, the AAUW explains that where you live and what you do also impacts your personal pay gap, alongside factors such as race, age, ethnicity, disability, and your access to education. For example, different states have different pay discrimination laws and policies. Meanwhile, the AAUW notes that the gender pay gap occurs across almost all occupations and industries.
It’s an issue that needs to be addressed in order to reach wage equity which naturally means giving those in a disadvantageous position a leg-up to counter the biases in the job industry. And some men, like Tim, can’t deal with not being ahead.
Here’s how people reacted to the story about the jealous and insecure boyfriend
"I'm a feminist" says a guy who thinks that the only way a girl could earn more than him is by cheating.
It's time for the ten minute 200 pound weight loss plan. Dump his toxic, whiny ass. He is showing you who he is, so believe him. This will NEVER improve.
You had me in the first half, I was trying to figure out how/why an established account (I've seen you around here a lot) was posting junk ad content... :D
Load More Replies...So he gets *one* woman to his team and thinks it's unfair and due to invalid reasons while the rest of the team is formed by males with whom he doesn't feel that way.
Sounds like he felt very comfortable in the thought that his career choice was the "better, more prestigious and worthy" one and he based a lot of his self worth on this, which got shattered unexpectedly.
He also felt very comfortable in a career that didn't seem to be open to women! And he dismissed the one that was finally hired as a "diversity hire", has zero respect for her or her abilities! He's a bullshit feminist for a start, and probably the beginning of the end of a relationship.
Load More Replies..."Women are taking places meant for men"... the eternal cry of the man who thinks he deserves what he didn't earn. He's no more of a feminist than a pet rock would be.
Every few responses in the Reddit thread are from men whose female partners earn more money than they do - and they're quite happy about it. My husband would be pretty happy if I made more money than him - hey, more money for the both of us.
Same! My OH was upset when I got a job at the same company as him and my starting salary was waaaaay higher than his was, to the point where I was earning nearly the same as him, while he'd had to fight for raises over five years of working there, in the same position as the one I'd taken (but in a different team). He was upset over the company we work for not valuing him as much as they said, not about the objective height of my salary compared to his. He turned it into a positive though, as he used it to negotiate a sizeable raise and for the first time in nearly ten years we're financially OK.
Load More Replies...My wife makes about 75% of our income. And that's dang fine with me. She "cheated" by getting a BS in economics, and a Masters in journalism by the age of 25, then working her ass off. I got a degree in graphic design when I was 37, and didn't have a "career" job until we started a business together, at her urging. Wonder why she makes more?
You didn't cheat the system. You benefitted exactly as these programs intended. Over the course of years, women have been paid less for the same work, discriminated against for being female, and in general screwed. The truth is, women still are still being screwed. And because white males, as group, refused to redress this imbalance, programs had to be set up to provide more opportunities for women. As a white male, I have more opportunities, I have less obstacles to overcome, and am given more for nothing more than being born white and a man. Regardless of my personal circumstances, this exists for me as it does not for you. So if your boyfriend really wants it to be equal, he needs to embrace making things right for everyone. If that could happen, then maybe those programs could go away. But for now, celebrate your accomplishments. You are where you are because you earned it in spite of everything that stood in your way. Well done
At first I thought maybe he was jealous because she has an english lit degree and got a higher paying job than him, even though he has what he considers a harder degree or something, or maybe because she's doing something he considers "easier" (diversity consultant/specialist) and is making more money than him, even though he has what he considers more technical job (cybersecurity) than her. But that wouldn't explain all the gender related jabs he's making, so this is definitely pure sexism and insecure masculinity. Usually I don't go straight to "dump them" when I see AITA posts, but in this case, yeah, just dump him. You're better off.
It sounds like the OP used their networks and opportunities available to her, which isn't the same as cheating the system. Her boyfriend sounds salty because she's achieved more through a path he probably didn't consider to be one to get ahead of him. People don't like it when others get the same (or more) than them without having trodden the same path they did.
"I'm a feminist" says a guy who thinks that the only way a girl could earn more than him is by cheating.
It's time for the ten minute 200 pound weight loss plan. Dump his toxic, whiny ass. He is showing you who he is, so believe him. This will NEVER improve.
You had me in the first half, I was trying to figure out how/why an established account (I've seen you around here a lot) was posting junk ad content... :D
Load More Replies...So he gets *one* woman to his team and thinks it's unfair and due to invalid reasons while the rest of the team is formed by males with whom he doesn't feel that way.
Sounds like he felt very comfortable in the thought that his career choice was the "better, more prestigious and worthy" one and he based a lot of his self worth on this, which got shattered unexpectedly.
He also felt very comfortable in a career that didn't seem to be open to women! And he dismissed the one that was finally hired as a "diversity hire", has zero respect for her or her abilities! He's a bullshit feminist for a start, and probably the beginning of the end of a relationship.
Load More Replies..."Women are taking places meant for men"... the eternal cry of the man who thinks he deserves what he didn't earn. He's no more of a feminist than a pet rock would be.
Every few responses in the Reddit thread are from men whose female partners earn more money than they do - and they're quite happy about it. My husband would be pretty happy if I made more money than him - hey, more money for the both of us.
Same! My OH was upset when I got a job at the same company as him and my starting salary was waaaaay higher than his was, to the point where I was earning nearly the same as him, while he'd had to fight for raises over five years of working there, in the same position as the one I'd taken (but in a different team). He was upset over the company we work for not valuing him as much as they said, not about the objective height of my salary compared to his. He turned it into a positive though, as he used it to negotiate a sizeable raise and for the first time in nearly ten years we're financially OK.
Load More Replies...My wife makes about 75% of our income. And that's dang fine with me. She "cheated" by getting a BS in economics, and a Masters in journalism by the age of 25, then working her ass off. I got a degree in graphic design when I was 37, and didn't have a "career" job until we started a business together, at her urging. Wonder why she makes more?
You didn't cheat the system. You benefitted exactly as these programs intended. Over the course of years, women have been paid less for the same work, discriminated against for being female, and in general screwed. The truth is, women still are still being screwed. And because white males, as group, refused to redress this imbalance, programs had to be set up to provide more opportunities for women. As a white male, I have more opportunities, I have less obstacles to overcome, and am given more for nothing more than being born white and a man. Regardless of my personal circumstances, this exists for me as it does not for you. So if your boyfriend really wants it to be equal, he needs to embrace making things right for everyone. If that could happen, then maybe those programs could go away. But for now, celebrate your accomplishments. You are where you are because you earned it in spite of everything that stood in your way. Well done
At first I thought maybe he was jealous because she has an english lit degree and got a higher paying job than him, even though he has what he considers a harder degree or something, or maybe because she's doing something he considers "easier" (diversity consultant/specialist) and is making more money than him, even though he has what he considers more technical job (cybersecurity) than her. But that wouldn't explain all the gender related jabs he's making, so this is definitely pure sexism and insecure masculinity. Usually I don't go straight to "dump them" when I see AITA posts, but in this case, yeah, just dump him. You're better off.
It sounds like the OP used their networks and opportunities available to her, which isn't the same as cheating the system. Her boyfriend sounds salty because she's achieved more through a path he probably didn't consider to be one to get ahead of him. People don't like it when others get the same (or more) than them without having trodden the same path they did.






















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