Wife Upset As Her Husband Bakes His Favorite Cherry Cake For His 32nd Birthday Party Though She Bought Him A Cheesecake
What can cause a marital quarrel? Probably, some disagreements about children, finances, household chores. Perhaps, a car, overly entitled relatives of one of the spouses, alcohol… finally, adultery or suspicion of it. There are many reasons – as if people are just waiting for the right moment to get into argument.
And a marital quarrel can happen because of a cake. More specifically, because of a birthday cake. It sounds completely ridiculous, one must admit, but how many times have we already seen that, from the point of view of various plot twists, real life is much more fantastic than any film or TV show?
Another confirmation of that fact is this particular story, which a few days ago in his post in the AITA Reddit community, the user u/Whole_Ferret9774 kindly told. As of today, the post has over 8.6K upvotes and nearly 1.5K different comments. However, it is possible that the post’s popularity is due to the fact that the author published the recipe for that very cake… Who knows? In any case, we have attached this recipe as well.
More info: Reddit
The author of the post was about to celebrate his upcoming birthday with his wife and friends
Image credits: Susanne Nilsson (not the actual image)
So, the author of the original post has been married for about a year to a woman whom he had previously dated for five years. And now, his first birthday as a husband was approaching, so it was time for a traditional cake.
Image credits: u/Whole_Ferret9774
The man had a special favorite cake with his parents’ old recipe
The thing is that literally from childhood, our hero has had a favorite cake which his parents used to bake for him. It was a special recipe for a chocolate-covered cherry cake that was not available in any of the local stores, so the boy could only eat it once a year.
Image credits: u/Whole_Ferret9774
It is not surprising that the cake became his favorite over the years, and as an adult, the man first baked it for himself, and then did it together with his girlfriend, who later became his wife. So the woman was well aware of her husband’s favorite sweet. However, this time, things didn’t go as planned…
Image credits: MyLifeStory (not the actual image)
When the wife asked which cake he wanted for the party, the man simply answered that he wanted the same cherry cake
When the wife asked the OP what kind of cake he wanted for his birthday party, he said that his tastes had not changed at all, and he would like the same cherry cake with chocolate. The wife replied that she would not really like to do the baking herself, to which the OP objected that it was not a problem at all, as he would happily bake his favorite sweet himself.
Image credits: u/Whole_Ferret9774
A few days later the question was repeated – with a similar answer from the OP. In any case, the man simply bought all the necessary ingredients and put them into the fridge in advance. Imagine his surprise when, literally on the eve of the holiday, he looked into the fridge and saw a cheesecake with the letters “Happy Birthday!” on it.
Image credits: Nenad Stojkovic (not the actual image)
The woman bought a cheesecake in advance but the husband just took all the ingredients and baked his favorite cake on his own
The wife admitted that she bought this cheesecake in advance. It’s not that our hero doesn’t like this kind of cake, but she buys them almost every month, he admits. But cherry chocolate cake appears on the festive table only once a year, so he believes that he can really afford it. Be that as it may, the man just took out all the stored ingredients and habitually baked his favorite cake.
Image credits: u/Whole_Ferret9774
And it turned out to be a strategic mistake! Apparently, his wife obviously did not like this, so she was cold with him throughout the birthday party, and after it, she also showed in every possible way that she remained offended. Usually our hero moves mountains and heaven to give her the things she wants on her birthdays, as he himself admits – so what was the problem with her pleasing his (far from capricious) desires at least once a year?
The woman got offended at the husband, though he really has no clue why – nor do the people in the comments
People in the comments also wondered what the problem was, although some of them suspected that the author of the post was just not saying something, and the reason might lie elsewhere. However, in response to comments, the OP admitted that he himself also has no clue – except that his wife simply does not like chocolate.
In any case, as the commenters say, his own birthday means his own party, and everyone deserves to have exactly what they like on their special day. Be that as it may, the most popular comment was the request to share the recipe for that same cherry cake with chocolate, so the man did not refuse. We have to agree, it looks extremely appetizing!
We are sure that you are already writing down this recipe for yourself, and after you are done, please feel free to write what you think about this tale in the comments. Well, if you too have experienced something like this, we are already looking forward to your own story as well.
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NTA, but something is weird about OP's wife's unreasonably dramatic and overblown response...after ignoring what OP actually wanted and getting what she wanted instead. You two need to have a chat.
This reminds me of my childhood... my mom would always get the cake that was HER favorite, never my favorite/what I wanted. In fact, she would get the only cake I hate (German chocolate) and while I was careful never to throw a fit or get pouty about it (both things would have resulted in beatings), I definitely told her that I did not like German chocolate and I really would prefer just a chocolate cake. But no, every year, even up to this year when I turned 40, my mother gets me either a German chocolate cake or an ice cream cake (her second favorite). It's self-centered narcissism. It sounds like OP loves cheesecake since she gets one so often, and is utterly offended that her husband isn't kissing her feet for "the effort" that she made. My mom does the same thing - gets pissed when you aren't totally fawningly grateful for the things she does/makes/buys "for you", even if it's something you dislike.
Load More Replies...The cherry cake sounds horrible to me BUT it is HIS birthday. Sounds like the wife was trying to have a little power trip and got mad when he made his own cake.
I want one now. Makes me think of the schwartzwalder kirsch torte my parents sometimes bought. Decilious. I never tried cheese cake, cause I keep thinking they put salty Dutch cheese in it and I know they don't, but still haven't tried it. schwarzwae...-torte.jpg
She didn't want to make the cake and she didn't want to feel guilty for not making the cake, so she took the lazy option to relieve herself of any guilt. Then she got mad because she was forced to feel that guilt, and acted out like a stubborn child . . . feeling embarressed and guilty
Here you guys go (OP is whole_ferret):***INFO: Has your wife been “difficult” in other situations where she didn’t get her way? Does she usually ignore what you say? Does she even like you? NTA *** whole_Ferret: No she's never given me the silent treatment or ignore me when she didn't get her way or really act difficult. The only thing that comes close is when she suggests eating out/ordering out. She'll ask what I feel like, I tell her, and she goes with what she wants, but those instances it was her idea so no big deal to me. *** So in fact she does have a history of asking what you would like and then ignoring it to get what she wants. No half / half compromise. Why bother asking you? She’s incredibly selfish and made your birthday all about her. *** (different commenter): You just literally gave examples of her doing this, but you neglect to realize the reason she never gave you the silent treatment before is because you let her have her way when she's being selfish. If a person really cares about your opinion they'll compromise or go with it a % of the time instead of going with what they wanted all along every time. Your wife sounds selfish & you just haven't realized it yet.
nta she asked what he wanted and then did she decided to do what she wants on his birth day
My dad really likes Black Forrest cake, but mom and I are very lukewarm about it. But we still get Black Forrest cake for his birthday. Though in the last few years, mom and dad would just rather get some individual slices because they don't want all the leftover cake. That way, everyone gets what they like. But I'm sure most people want a full cake! I guess she doesn't like his cake... but I don't know why she got so defensive about him still wanting his own cake. Have to wonder what's going on there.
This seems like red-flag behavior. She asked him what cake he wants and ignored his preference (dishonest and inconsiderate). Then she went and got her favorite cake because "everyone likes it" (selfish). Then being sore and pouty at the party (self-centered). If this is a one-time issue and she can recognize and apologize for her actions, then it's ok. However if this is a pattern of behavior and she makes excuses/deflects, then that's a major red-flag.
This isn't about cake. Not sure if OP's wife is overly controlling, if this was a miscommunication, or if she feels she's not being heard. OP made a cake he liked for his own birthday party- not exactly a marital Crime-of-the-Century. These two ought have an honest chat or try some counseling IMO.
NTA. Your spouse is jealous of your birthday cake. Now I've heard it all.
Why would you be mad at something your spouse decided to make for themselves on their birthday because they wanted it? That doesn't make even a little bit of sense. You're a grown man, you can have what you want. And it's absolutely no skin off her nose that you took it upon yourself to make it, especially since there will be other people who will partake in the cheesecake.
NTA, but something is weird about OP's wife's unreasonably dramatic and overblown response...after ignoring what OP actually wanted and getting what she wanted instead. You two need to have a chat.
This reminds me of my childhood... my mom would always get the cake that was HER favorite, never my favorite/what I wanted. In fact, she would get the only cake I hate (German chocolate) and while I was careful never to throw a fit or get pouty about it (both things would have resulted in beatings), I definitely told her that I did not like German chocolate and I really would prefer just a chocolate cake. But no, every year, even up to this year when I turned 40, my mother gets me either a German chocolate cake or an ice cream cake (her second favorite). It's self-centered narcissism. It sounds like OP loves cheesecake since she gets one so often, and is utterly offended that her husband isn't kissing her feet for "the effort" that she made. My mom does the same thing - gets pissed when you aren't totally fawningly grateful for the things she does/makes/buys "for you", even if it's something you dislike.
Load More Replies...The cherry cake sounds horrible to me BUT it is HIS birthday. Sounds like the wife was trying to have a little power trip and got mad when he made his own cake.
I want one now. Makes me think of the schwartzwalder kirsch torte my parents sometimes bought. Decilious. I never tried cheese cake, cause I keep thinking they put salty Dutch cheese in it and I know they don't, but still haven't tried it. schwarzwae...-torte.jpg
She didn't want to make the cake and she didn't want to feel guilty for not making the cake, so she took the lazy option to relieve herself of any guilt. Then she got mad because she was forced to feel that guilt, and acted out like a stubborn child . . . feeling embarressed and guilty
Here you guys go (OP is whole_ferret):***INFO: Has your wife been “difficult” in other situations where she didn’t get her way? Does she usually ignore what you say? Does she even like you? NTA *** whole_Ferret: No she's never given me the silent treatment or ignore me when she didn't get her way or really act difficult. The only thing that comes close is when she suggests eating out/ordering out. She'll ask what I feel like, I tell her, and she goes with what she wants, but those instances it was her idea so no big deal to me. *** So in fact she does have a history of asking what you would like and then ignoring it to get what she wants. No half / half compromise. Why bother asking you? She’s incredibly selfish and made your birthday all about her. *** (different commenter): You just literally gave examples of her doing this, but you neglect to realize the reason she never gave you the silent treatment before is because you let her have her way when she's being selfish. If a person really cares about your opinion they'll compromise or go with it a % of the time instead of going with what they wanted all along every time. Your wife sounds selfish & you just haven't realized it yet.
nta she asked what he wanted and then did she decided to do what she wants on his birth day
My dad really likes Black Forrest cake, but mom and I are very lukewarm about it. But we still get Black Forrest cake for his birthday. Though in the last few years, mom and dad would just rather get some individual slices because they don't want all the leftover cake. That way, everyone gets what they like. But I'm sure most people want a full cake! I guess she doesn't like his cake... but I don't know why she got so defensive about him still wanting his own cake. Have to wonder what's going on there.
This seems like red-flag behavior. She asked him what cake he wants and ignored his preference (dishonest and inconsiderate). Then she went and got her favorite cake because "everyone likes it" (selfish). Then being sore and pouty at the party (self-centered). If this is a one-time issue and she can recognize and apologize for her actions, then it's ok. However if this is a pattern of behavior and she makes excuses/deflects, then that's a major red-flag.
This isn't about cake. Not sure if OP's wife is overly controlling, if this was a miscommunication, or if she feels she's not being heard. OP made a cake he liked for his own birthday party- not exactly a marital Crime-of-the-Century. These two ought have an honest chat or try some counseling IMO.
NTA. Your spouse is jealous of your birthday cake. Now I've heard it all.
Why would you be mad at something your spouse decided to make for themselves on their birthday because they wanted it? That doesn't make even a little bit of sense. You're a grown man, you can have what you want. And it's absolutely no skin off her nose that you took it upon yourself to make it, especially since there will be other people who will partake in the cheesecake.





























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