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Mom Wonders If She Was A Jerk For Making The New Babysitter Cry After She Started Telling Her Kids That They’re Actually Hers
Mom Wonders If She Was A Jerk For Making The New Babysitter Cry After She Started Telling Her Kids That They’re Actually Hers
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Mom Wonders If She Was A Jerk For Making The New Babysitter Cry After She Started Telling Her Kids That They’re Actually Hers

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Boundaries are incredibly important, in every area of your life. Whether we’re talking about personal, family, or professional relationships. Some people, however, walk all over any implied boundaries, so you need to reinforce them and follow through on them, otherwise, things can get very, very emotionally messy.

A 26-year-old mom of two kids, who are 3 and 4 years old, turned to the AITA online community for their advice and wisdom on a situation that happened with a new babysitter, a friend of her mother-in-law’s. The latter insisted that her friend babysits for the couple for free, even though the two young professionals had no problem at all affording a professional sitter. Eventually, they relented.

Though things started out just fine, the situation took a dramatic and bizarre turn when one of the redditor’s kids asked her if she’s their real mom. That’s when the truth finally came out: the desperate new babysitter had been filling the kids’ heads with lies. The mom decided that some drastic action needed to be taken, though the fallout was pretty heavy. You’ll find the full story below, dear Pandas. When you’re done reading it, we’d like to know what you would have done in this situation and if you think the mom was right to react the way she did.

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    A mom was pressured by her mother-in-law to let a friend babysit her two children for free

    Image credits: Anna Shvets (not the actual photo)

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    Even though things seemed to be fine at first, the mom eventually noticed a huge red flag with the new sitter

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    The couple immediately took steps to rectify the situation when they realized something was wrong

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    The mom wanted the AITA community’s verdict on whether she did the right thing, in the end

    The entire situation would likely have gotten way out of hand if the new babysitter had been left to her own devices. Personally, I find it inexcusable that the sitter yelled at the kids and lied to them, trying to turn them against their own mother. It’s unprofessional. It’s manipulative. It’s just darn plain wrong!

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    Probably the worst part is that the author of the post’s mother-in-law insisted that they hire her friend and later started screaming at the couple when things didn’t work out. It seems that the MIL was putting her friendship ahead of her actual family’s welfare. Though we might love our friends, I still believe that family comes first. And you can’t sabotage family matters for the sake of your friend feeling a bit better about her life. There are other, healthier ways to do that which don’t result in family drama and everybody feeling like a big bunch of garbage.

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    According to ‘Care,’ parents should always trust their gut feelings when considering a babysitter for hire. Your intuition is there for a reason, use it. “In addition to properly screening a caregiver and monitoring the quality of care children receive, parents should never disregard their gut feeling about a provider. If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t,” Michelle LaRowe, the founder of the ‘NannyTraining’ project explained. Though it’s always a good idea to get a second opinion if you’re usually anxious or suspicious about most things. Try to listen to your gut, heart, and brain all at once.

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    Some other things that might be potential red flags include the fact that your child doesn’t look cared for when you get back home or starts developing unusual behavior and habits. What’s more, if your kid isn’t reacting all that well when the sitter shows up, there might be some issues there, too. Parents also ought to be concerned if a nanny completely ignores their instructions about bedtime, playtime, and food.

    Most internet users sided with the mom. Here’s what they had to say about the entire bizarre situation

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    Jonas Grinevičius

    Jonas Grinevičius

    Author, Senior Writer

    Read more »

    Storytelling, journalism, and art are a core part of who I am. I've been writing and drawing ever since I could walk—there is nothing else I'd rather do. My formal education, however, is focused on politics, philosophy, and economics because I've always been curious about the gap between the ideal and the real.At work, I'm a Senior Writer and I cover a broad range of topics that I'm passionate about: from psychology and changes in work culture to healthy living, relationships, and design.In my spare time, I'm an avid hiker and reader, enjoy writing short stories, and love to doodle.I thrive when I'm outdoors, going on small adventures in nature. However, you can also find me enjoying a big mug of coffee with a good book (or ten) and entertaining friends with fantasy tabletop games and sci-fi movies.

    Read less »
    Jonas Grinevičius

    Jonas Grinevičius

    Author, Senior Writer

    Storytelling, journalism, and art are a core part of who I am. I've been writing and drawing ever since I could walk—there is nothing else I'd rather do. My formal education, however, is focused on politics, philosophy, and economics because I've always been curious about the gap between the ideal and the real.At work, I'm a Senior Writer and I cover a broad range of topics that I'm passionate about: from psychology and changes in work culture to healthy living, relationships, and design.In my spare time, I'm an avid hiker and reader, enjoy writing short stories, and love to doodle.I thrive when I'm outdoors, going on small adventures in nature. However, you can also find me enjoying a big mug of coffee with a good book (or ten) and entertaining friends with fantasy tabletop games and sci-fi movies.

    Austėja Akavickaitė

    Austėja Akavickaitė

    Author, Community member

    Read more »

    Austėja is a Photo Editor at Bored Panda with a BA in Photography.

    Read less »

    Austėja Akavickaitė

    Austėja Akavickaitė

    Author, Community member

    Austėja is a Photo Editor at Bored Panda with a BA in Photography.

    What do you think ?
    Dodo
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    MIL's friend needs to be kept far, far away from children.

    ToGo
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If MIL's friend can behave this way with someone else's children what on earth would she behave like with her own kids?! Shudder to think.

    Viviane
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She doesn't have any children, thank goodness.

    Load More Replies...
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    Vicky Zar
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've seen this story before. Does no one else get the vibe that MIL had a hand in this? The way she insisted her friend should babysit and then excuse her and blame the Mother for not having enough "compassion"?

    8Yorkies-and-63cats
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You're right, I also get the same kind of vibe.The MIL is either next level stupid or there was some plan in motion. Or she hates her DIL so much, her judgement is completely clouded.

    Load More Replies...
    Jo Johannsen
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Am I the cynic here for wondering exactly how much the MIL contributed to the situation? How is the MIL-DIL relationship in general?

    Vicky Zar
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No! That was my thought too! I've asked nearly the same question a few seconds ago

    Load More Replies...
    CLG
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Does this even need to be answered on AITA? "I found out my babysitter was emotionally abusing my children so I let her go. AITA? 🥺" Come on.

    Potato
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There's always this comment on these posts. It's obviously entertaining to the viewers and the poster just want peace of mind (says it right there in the post). Just let it go.

    Load More Replies...
    Marcellus II
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ah, the Other Mother. Did she have buttons for eyes, too?

    8Yorkies-and-63cats
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes! Coraline, the sequel. "The Other Mother aided by the real mother's mother in law!" Even Neil Gaiman would cringe at that.

    Load More Replies...
    Karis Ravenhill
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA. MIL's friend desperately needs psychiatric help. What's she going to do next, kidnap the kids and tell the police she birthed them? I'd keep this woman as far away from me as possible and report her actions to the police. This behavior precludes awful stories like "pregnant woman murdered by friend and baby cut from her womb". Your MIL is completely in the wrong and putting her own grandchildren in mental, emotional and physical danger, as it's clear her friend is not mentally stable. If MIL doesn't eventually see what she's done wrong here, i'd cut her out of my life too. Too much crazy going on there for your young lives.

    Viviane
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The MIL seems to have suggested her friend because she felt sorry for her. The MIL and her friend don't understand boundaries. A professional nanny weighed in on the reddit thread: she adores her charges, gives them pet names (including "my babies" as a term of affection), but she refers to herself as the nanny and their parents as "mama" and "dada". She was creeped out by the situation with the delusional babysitter.

    Load More Comments
    Dodo
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    MIL's friend needs to be kept far, far away from children.

    ToGo
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If MIL's friend can behave this way with someone else's children what on earth would she behave like with her own kids?! Shudder to think.

    Viviane
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She doesn't have any children, thank goodness.

    Load More Replies...
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    Vicky Zar
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've seen this story before. Does no one else get the vibe that MIL had a hand in this? The way she insisted her friend should babysit and then excuse her and blame the Mother for not having enough "compassion"?

    8Yorkies-and-63cats
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You're right, I also get the same kind of vibe.The MIL is either next level stupid or there was some plan in motion. Or she hates her DIL so much, her judgement is completely clouded.

    Load More Replies...
    Jo Johannsen
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Am I the cynic here for wondering exactly how much the MIL contributed to the situation? How is the MIL-DIL relationship in general?

    Vicky Zar
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No! That was my thought too! I've asked nearly the same question a few seconds ago

    Load More Replies...
    CLG
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Does this even need to be answered on AITA? "I found out my babysitter was emotionally abusing my children so I let her go. AITA? 🥺" Come on.

    Potato
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There's always this comment on these posts. It's obviously entertaining to the viewers and the poster just want peace of mind (says it right there in the post). Just let it go.

    Load More Replies...
    Marcellus II
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ah, the Other Mother. Did she have buttons for eyes, too?

    8Yorkies-and-63cats
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes! Coraline, the sequel. "The Other Mother aided by the real mother's mother in law!" Even Neil Gaiman would cringe at that.

    Load More Replies...
    Karis Ravenhill
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA. MIL's friend desperately needs psychiatric help. What's she going to do next, kidnap the kids and tell the police she birthed them? I'd keep this woman as far away from me as possible and report her actions to the police. This behavior precludes awful stories like "pregnant woman murdered by friend and baby cut from her womb". Your MIL is completely in the wrong and putting her own grandchildren in mental, emotional and physical danger, as it's clear her friend is not mentally stable. If MIL doesn't eventually see what she's done wrong here, i'd cut her out of my life too. Too much crazy going on there for your young lives.

    Viviane
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The MIL seems to have suggested her friend because she felt sorry for her. The MIL and her friend don't understand boundaries. A professional nanny weighed in on the reddit thread: she adores her charges, gives them pet names (including "my babies" as a term of affection), but she refers to herself as the nanny and their parents as "mama" and "dada". She was creeped out by the situation with the delusional babysitter.

    Load More Comments
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