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Babysitter Is Fed Up With No-Show Mom, Calls The Cops And They Take The Kids
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Babysitter Is Fed Up With No-Show Mom, Calls The Cops And They Take The Kids

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Babysitting comes with a host of its own unique challenges. Sometimes, taking care of the little munchkins isn’t even the hardest thing! Sometimes… it’s the parents giving you headaches and seriously making you reevaluate choosing to help this particular family out. That’s the kind of situation that redditor Electronic_Professor was in.

The redditor shared a dramatic story about a babysitting client for whom punctuality and proper communication simply didn’t exist—a mom who would be constantly late coming back home without giving even so much as a heads-up.

Eventually, the babysitter grew more and more frustrated. The last straw was when the mom was soooo late coming back home, she completely ruined Electronic_Professor’s plans for the evening. That’s when the redditor felt like she needed to call the police about what was going on. She then asked the AITA community for a verdict about who was wrong in this case.

You can read the full story about what happened in Electronic_Professor’s own words below, dear Pandas. When you’re done, be sure to let everyone know your thoughts about the entire bizarre situation. What would you have done if you were in the babysitter’s shoes? Who do you think was in the wrong in this particular case?

A frustrated babysitter shared her story on the AITA subreddit about how she ended up calling the police on one of her clients

Image credits: cottonbro (not the actual photo)

Here’s how everything went down, in the babysitter’s own words

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Image credits: Electronic_Professor

Personally, I believe that Electronic_Professor showed a lot of patience and restraint dealing with that particular family. As she said in her post on the AITA subreddit, she liked taking care of the kids. And the extra money never hurt, either.

However, the main problem was that the mom kept returning home late hours and hours later than she was supposed to. This meant that the babysitter’s weekends were effectively ruined because she couldn’t make any personal plans or would have to cancel them.

Here’s the thing, though. It would be perfectly acceptable to babysit the kids the entire day if the parent would explain in advance exactly when they’d be coming back. However, lying about the time and being unable to pick up the phone and give a simple heads-up if they’re running (a bit) late? That’s unacceptable. Even worse, it shows the mom’s attitude towards babysitters in general, as though they might be unworthy of basic communication.

One evening, the mom was supposed to be back by 9 pm. Surprise surprise, 9 pm rolls around and she’s nowhere to be seen. The babysitter kept calling and texting her without any success. Eventually, her plans for the night were ruined, feeling completely ignored by her client, she decided to go with an ultimatum: either the mom comes back by 1 am or the redditor considers the kids abandoned and calls the police.

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Electronic_Professor followed through on her threat and the police came along to pick up the kids and take them to the station. Naturally, the babysitter provided all of the evidence of having tried to contact the mom throughout the evening.

The redditor didn’t get a chance to sleep easy, though. She was woken up in the middle of the night by the mom who “cursed her out.” Meanwhile, in the morning, the mom sent her a long message blaming her for everything. The reason why the babysitter asked the AITA community for a verdict was that she spoke to a friend with kids who said she might have been acting petty calling the police.

The babysitter’s post got 27.7k upvotes in a single day and she started a real discussion on the subreddit, getting over 3.4k comments. A lot of people supported what the redditor did, speculating about the potential reasons why the mom was constantly late. Unfortunately, it seems like the babysitter didn’t even get paid in the aftermath of the drama. What’s more, it’s still not clear as to why the mom was so late.

The author of the story had some additional information she wanted to share with those interested in what happened

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Earlier, Bored Panda spoke to a professional babysitter, redditor Nannyponyo, about some of the challenges the job presents and the unreasonable demands some parents have for the people they hire.

“I think the most unreasonable demands are absurd restrictions for no reason. I have worked with several special needs kids or kids with special circumstances (severe allergies, anxiety, etc.), and some truly need healthy restrictions, but I’ve met with many families who expect a 45+ hour work week and the caregiver is not allowed to leave the home with the child,” they said.

According to the babysitter, some parents do a lot of harm to their kids by being overprotective, for example, by not letting them leave the house and play. “They’re destroying any chance for their child to grow and develop socially and often motor skills are delayed because they’re afraid to let their child out of the house to run and climb and play the way they should,” she said.

“I think they believe that it’s their child that they are raising the way they want to (which I do agree with, to an extent) and all rules should be blindly followed. But some nannies (like myself) have been in the field for many years and can offer valuable insight and advice, which they are rarely willing to take because parenting is so personal.”

They continued: “That’s the same reason I believe they often don’t want to offer adequate compensation: it’s personal. They’re (most likely, in my experience) paying you under the table, they’re trying to get a good deal, and they love their child. They don’t think that looking after their ‘precious angel’ is a job; it’s a treat. They would love to be home with their child all day, so I think they feel like it’s not a real job. It’s something you get to do, and they’re mad they have to pay someone to do it.”

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Meanwhile, some parents believe that looking after their kids is a privilege, so they’re blind to how difficult the job may be for a stranger. “There’s a connection there that someone else could never have, and they can’t imagine not having that connection, so they treat it like it’s not a job, it’s a privilege. The ‘you’re so lucky you get to stay home with my baby while I have to go to work’ mindset, when in reality we leave our families to take care of yours; we don’t want to leave our families in the morning for work any more than you do, but it’s our job.”

Most redditors were very sympathetic to the babysitter. Here’s what they had to say about the dramatic situation

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carolyngerbrands avatar
Caro Caro
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OMG. NTA for sure. What if there had been an emergency??? She is just ignoring the phone because I'm pretty sure she did look so now and then, everybody (well, nearly everybody) does especially if you have children. Coming home late is one thing, making the baby sitter stay longer without notice is a shitty thing to do but ignoring all the phone calls is neglect. What a cow!.

sweetangelce04 avatar
CatWoman312
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I thought the same thing! What if the kid was choking or fell and broke their leg!? Anything could have happened. I couldn’t imagine ignoring my phone if someone was watching my child

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zora24_1 avatar
Trillian
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If she loses custody it's not because OP was being "petty" but because she was being extremely unreliable and obviously not caring about them. So no one to blame but herself.

sassyandclassy avatar
classbag
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Exactly. The mom friend who called OP petty is so wrong. Leaving your kids with someone else and disappearing without being reachable is unacceptable. It is neglect, even if your kids are in a babysitter's care. The babysitter is not responsible for your children indefinitely--they are YOUR kids! The mom deserved to have DCF called on her.

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anne-karina avatar
Anne
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's all on the mother. Want to pull an all nighter? Have fun! Just let the sitter know in advance. Simple. I just hope the dad is a good one.

annmaria_petrini avatar
AnnMaria Petrini
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mom was out having fun. I remember on the rare times I ever used a sitter it was work related and I used a relative yet, I called periodically to talk to my kids and sitter to see if everything was ok. This lady not only doesn't check on her kids and sitter but ignores all calls from the sitter! Omg! And then she doesn't show up too!?! What if the kids were hurt, hospitalized, home invasion, fire...so many things can happen yet she just didn't care. She's unfit.

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james_fox1984 avatar
Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Poor kids. What if the babysitter was trying to call coz one of the kids was injured or other kind of emergency. This mum needs a good kick up the a**e, you don't do that s**t. By all means have a night out but remember you still have a duty to your children and should be available to be contacted or have a back up just in case. This is all on the mum, and sadly it's the kids that have to suffer the consequences of her selfish carelessness.

pauldavis avatar
Paul Davis
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nothing petty about it. You don't get to take other people hostage by depending on their concern for your kids being greater than your own. The consequences aren't on your "hostage", they're completely on you. But this babysitter should learn not to keep coming back when a parent has demonstrated such obvious irresponsibility and narcissism -- it was never going to end well.

annmaria_petrini avatar
AnnMaria Petrini
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So true and the person who called her "petty" is no friend. Probably another unfit parent. The babysitter did absolutely the right thing. Another concern is that the mother of the kids could have had an accident, been killed by a date, who knows? The fact that she didn't answer texts or calls is cause for alarm on many levels. Nobody who cares about their kids would not check on them or not answer the texts and calls.

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mjw0sysascend_com avatar
lara
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We NEVER left our son with a babysitter without her knowing exactly where we were going to be in case she needed to get a hold of us for emergencies. We would tell her we were going out to dinner and a movie, so she would have some idea of when we would return. I cannot ever begin to think of leaving our son without the sitter being able to get a hold of us. This is totally and completely mindblowing. She deserves to lose her kids.

tabithamartel avatar
Tabitha Martel
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I was babysitting age the parents I worked for ALWAYS told me where they were going. Estimated time for coming home. Emergency numbers. They'd check in sometimes. It all just seemed like common sense. And if I ever got weird vibes I made sure never to return.

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marinamercouri avatar
Beatrice Multhaupt
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I used to have a boss like that. Fed up, I went to see my friend, John, who unfortunately was dying of AIDS. His last words to me were, ''As a native speaker of English, what part of the word 'NO' are you having trouble pronouncing?''. Memorable.

robyngardam avatar
KombatBunni
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Kids deserve a parent that cares about them and one that doesn't just disappear with no warning and no explanation. She's just pissed because she was caught being irresponsible. Most definitely NTA, that's all on the mother. I sincerely hope these children end up with family who cares more about them than constant nights out.

ishma-in008 avatar
S.
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not the A-hole, since it was a repeated act of careless from the mother's side, and OP gave multiple chances. I just hope that the kiddos are okay. :(

silvia_torres_zamora avatar
Mina
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

At first I thought perhaps the babysitter should have simply waited this one out and never work for this mom again. Calling the police does seem a bit over the top, until you consider that should this not have happened, the mom would have just found another babysitter and probably gone through many of them until she found one that didn't care. This not only seems disrespectful toward babysitters, but more importantly neglectful toward her kids. If she wants to be living the single life, then hand the kids over to the dad or someone else who will be there for them. Bringing in too many people to care for them instead of her can't be good for their development and there is also a risk of bringing in the wrong person who might abuse them and she would never know it. So yes, in this case I happen to agree with what the babysitter did and although she did it out of self-interest (can't blame her either), in the long run this will hopefully also make sure those kids aren't neglected or put in any danger.

kayblue avatar
Kay blue
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She was reading the messages and decided to just ignore them and the calls. What if something had happened to one of the children and the mother ignored all calls. She deserved everything she got, maybe she will learn that taking the piss with people who are caring for your children is not a good idea.

leodomitrix avatar
Leo Domitrix
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you make a schedule, stick to it. Otherwise, you're showing a pattern of unreliability, erratic behavior, and disregard for the children's welfare. IMHO.

tristancakes avatar
Tristan Cakes
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I was a "stay at home mom" I started baby sitting for a family friend who was a single mother of a 1 year old. She would get off work (her work was 10 minutes from my house) and make terrible excuses why she would be 2 hours late EVERY day. Then she'd finally get here and say "can you watch him just a little longer so I can run to the tanning bed" or "can you watch him while I run to see my boyfriend" or "can you watch him while while I run to the store". It was like really? I have been watching him 8-10 hours already and you're going to just leave? Then she'd short me money everytime she paid me. I was trying to help her since she was a friend but after a month of it going on I was like F this crap I'm done. I understand how this girl was feeling.

annmaria_petrini avatar
AnnMaria Petrini
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This woman does not love her baby. Priorities. She's at work all day and doesn't ache to be with her baby? No love. Poor child. This world is so messed up.

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april_caron avatar
April Caron
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Guess what schools do when you don’t pick up your child and they can’t get a hold of you? That’s right! They call the police… who pick up the child/children… and file a report with DCF.

3loretta979 avatar
Loretta
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA, geez. If a mother goes on a 7-day holiday without notifying the sitter, the sitter should take over as surrogate mom?? Moreover, it's not her decision that the kids might be taken away from that woman. She just called the police to solve HER problem, the police decided that it was such a bad situation it's worth an investigation. OP can't be held responsible for that, it's beyond her authority.

stampfreak avatar
Suz66
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't understand people who are trying to protect the mother. The kids are the most important health and this is a pattern of neglect and she was warned and chose to ignore her calls.She's clearly the AH

mark-mckenzie_1 avatar
anarkzie
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA, She went above and beyond to communicate to her that she had plans. The story focuses on the babysitters social life but there is also the health of the children to consider, what if they had been an emergency and the babysitter needed important medical information as this woman is just ghosting her? It's neglect and that is a matter for the police.

kathrynbaylis_1 avatar
Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If the police deemed it necessary to dismiss the babysitter and take the kids to the police station, after even THEY couldn’t contact her—-I can only imagine what the cop’s voicemails to her sounded like—-then the mother was being legally neglectful. Hopefully the father is a much better parent. If not, there has to be a grandparent, aunt, uncle, someone who will take better care of them. Poor babies!

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littlesaresare avatar
littlesaresare
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Children are abused and neglected by their parents all the time and police don't care. If this woman does lose her kids, there is clearly A LOT more going on there than her just being late home one night. So blaming the babysitter for it is pathetic.

trisec13 avatar
Trisec
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not at all. I once called the cops on a parent that was using a youth group I was leading as babysitting service. The meeting was over 45 minutes ago; no-show, no answer on phone. She actually showed up at the same time the cops did, so I let them deal with her and went home.

safsaf avatar
SAF saf
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Me personally, I wouldn't have let it get this far. You leave me taking care of your kids for any extra hours! i'm not coming back. The sitter isn't responsible for legal troubles. If it wasn't her it would have been some other sitter. What a horrible mom here, horrible.

leighc_ avatar
MyOpinionHasBeenServed
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This isn't the first time a parent has had their kids taken due to abandonment with a babysitter. It's one thing to give a heads up that you want to stay late, but always have a back up if the babysitter needs to leave at a certain time.

christmas avatar
Chris Jones
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yep. The children could end up in care. At best they might end up with a different family member but even if it's just the upheaval and they are well cared for it's still tough for them and can mess them up. Those poor children. Don't have children if you still want to party all the time FFS.

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haute_dawg avatar
𝔓𝔲𝔯𝔭𝔩𝔢 ℜ𝔞𝔢𝔑
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Are you KIDDING ME?! NTA!!! I (along with having been an Au Pair/ nanny/ babysitter myself) have NEVER heard of a parent NOT being able to "get in contact with!" Like, E-V-E-R!!! IDK that I would have been so generous as Electronic_Professor, though- as far as the number of times allowing the "parent" to be late. For me, three times the charm. After that comes ONE warning- in TEXT, for PROOF. IF (to the powers that be, hopefully 'it' wouldn't go "there"), but IF, for SOME reason, "it" would happen again- NO warning- just DOING. (As in, going to the police.) Let's recap: THREE chances. ONE warning. Time's up = ACTION. Period.

haute_dawg avatar
𝔓𝔲𝔯𝔭𝔩𝔢 ℜ𝔞𝔢𝔑
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What disturbs me the most is wondering if the "parent" even bothered to do a "CHECK-IN" (aka WELLNESS CHECK) on her children.

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juniorcj82 avatar
JuniorCJ82
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA and not petty in the slightest. YOU made a statement and followed through on it, unlike her.

rowdieangel avatar
RowdieAngel
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm a private Nanny and I actually have in my contract that I can call the non-emergency police line if you are not there to relieve me. I gave you an hour and a half before I call this is taken directly from my contract: If the family has been more than an hour late and cannot be reached, the Nanny will call emergency contacts. If it has been more than an hour and a half and neither the Family nor emergency contacts can be reached, the Family agrees that the Nanny has has permission to call the non-emergency police line. Nanny will receive 2X pay during this time for the inconvenience. far too many times, I have been stuck somewhere simply because I cannot legally leave. And parents take advantage of this. They know that we cannot legally walk out the door and leave the children behind, so they trap us there. I've been trapped as long as six or seven hours after my home daycare closed because I absolutely could not get anybody to pick up the kids, and I didn't have a car seat. I was entirely too kind and I did not call the police although I should have. they were my neighbors as well as my clients and they took horrendous advantage of me. I actually ended up releasing them as clients due to this and other things that they did.

emory_ce avatar
Carol Emory
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. I have to say, if it were a true emergency, I'd have actually been grateful if, for some reason, I could not call the babysitter back. Maybe I'm stuck in a car off the road unable to call. Maybe I've been abducted or ended up in the ER. In any case, when I hired babysitters, I told them where we would be, what route we were taking and when we would be back. If we weren't going to get back in time, I'd call to make sure everything was ok. Keep your babysitter happy. The mother SHOULD lose custody of her kids if she's so into what she's doing that her babysitter calling doesn't warrant an answer.

holliemarie1995 avatar
Hollie Marie
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How can anyone think this person was an ahole. This is deffo a NTA story what if the kids were sick or injured, not to mention you are at someone's house it's not like you can just go to bed so that poor babysitter would have had to stay awake until 3am had they not done something sooner. I'm glad they got the dad involved cuz clearly the mum can't be asked and I feel because there have been enough instances of the mum doing this you have a solid case for taking the kids away

mariacurtis avatar
Ria C.
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We all know mom was ok. But what if mom wasn't??? What was she supposed to do? Mom made the choice to ignore and send the babysitter to babysitter" jail" for worrying. Mom was neglectful...full stop mom's the a-hole

eliskaklimentova avatar
Eliska Klimentova
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. Honestly if that had happened to me, I’d be calling the cops, if not for the kids then because I’d probably have been thinking something bad had happened to her. If you’re an adult and promise to be somewhere at certain time, especially somewhere important, and you’re a no call, no show, you really can’t act all that surprised when people call the cops, if for nothing else to make sure you’re not lying dead in the ditch

reptilegirl30 avatar
Tacos Are Tasty
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mom is 100% the asshole here. Babysitter did the right thing and is NTA.

smallfryjamerz avatar
Jamie Solt
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA .... The mom needs to be easily gotten ahold of in case of an emergency..... And just in general.

leahwilliams avatar
Leah Williams
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I bet the mom was doing drugs or something. There's no explanation I can think of other than addiction that would cause such neglect! It's complete neglect. Sad.

douglasmock avatar
Douglas Mock
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hope she loses custody. These children need a parent, not a useless, self-centered, entitled diva.

katrijn-demaere avatar
Kat
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Douglas, first of all, I agree with OP. She did the right thing. BUT: the kids were ,as far as we know, fed, clothed, housed, ... And taken care of (not in the best way, but she could have just left them home on their own).... She is a bad parent, but these kids are probably better off with her than 'in the system' (we have no idea the dad is even in the picture...) Wishing that on the kids is not a solution...

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cassandraponce avatar
LaGitanaTriste
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA! Imagine what this “mother” does when she doesn’t even bother to get a babysitter. OP did the right thing for the kids and for herself. The “mother” is responsible for her own actions and the consequences.

annmaria_petrini avatar
AnnMaria Petrini
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm worried that if she gets her kids back, she won't use a babysitter at all next time. She'll just leave them all alone and go have her Funtime.

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gabbym avatar
Gabby M
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The mom seems like a manipulative abuser. She is blaming the babysitter for something that she is responsible for. Those poor kids.

sapnasarfarejournalist avatar
Sapna Sarfare
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Of course, the babysitter is correct in her behaviour. I would do the same. She did call and warn. She is quite patient. Also, i would stay away from the friend with kids. She seems fishy in supporting this stupid mom. I always say - not everyone is meant to be a parent. And if you have kids, better tighten your belt.

coricox avatar
Cori
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What. The. Hell. Even if we ignore the beyond rude and entitled disregard for another person's time, what if the sitter had been calling from the emergency room? If my children aren't physically with me, my phone is ALWAYS within arm's reach. I'd have that phone to my ear before the first ring even finished.

morganharbridge avatar
Morgan
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Poor kids...you mentioned getting ready after putting them to bed so they got woken up in the middle of the night and taken to the police station...that has to be scary

mikaylasol avatar
Micah<3
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. My parents were separated and so if my mum wanted to go out I'd go to my dads for the night, even though I was there every weekend anyway. I was able to cook basic meals and such kind of young, so if my mum had to go pick one of her friends up she'd wake me up, let me know she was going out and lock the door and she'd put the home phone set on her mobile number for if I needed something.

andreadevine avatar
Full of Giggles
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. She never intended to keep her promise to be back by 9. She told you exactly what you wanted to hear because the alternative would have resulted in her forfeiting her fun. The fact she was reading your text without responding and admitted to purposely ignoring your calls proves it. And yes, it is absolutely your business as to why she was six hours late. SIX. HOURS. If she had been an hour or two late, she’d have a legitimate argument. But she didn’t. She deliberately screwed you over. You deserve to know why.

mcfly933 avatar
Kim Shannon
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Definitely NTA. The sitter's actions were NOT petty. Obvs mom has no problem doing what she wants to do and the heck with everyone else. We went through this with my stepdaughter's mom. Once she was 10 HOURS LATE picking up her own daughter. Every single time she went away for the weekend, she would do the same thing.

kalebprichardmiraikuma avatar
Kaleb Prichard (MiraiKuma)
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. Speaking as someone who had a horrible childhood, I wish someone had done something like that with me. It was probably traumatic to the kids, but there is 100% things going on in the background that you probably saved them from because of this.

ealizabethane avatar
Lisa Shaw
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

One my kids went through this, they babysat for roommate moms who were exotic dancers, they would leave early evening and supposed to be home after work, so 2-3am, but they would always find a party after work. My kids put up with this all summer. One Friday night they went to work as usual, Saturday morning, no show, no call, they brought the kids over to our place, we continuously tried to reach them all day into the night, no luck. By Sunday morning the baby was out of diapers and there was no food in the house, the no food in the house was the reason they brought them to our place. So, I had a talk with the oldest and got the names of the children's grandparents, who all lived in another city some ours away from us, I informed them what had been going on for months and suggested that we file missing persons reports on both moms, which would trigger the police to contact CAS, all the grandparents drove hours to get to our city and take custody of the children.

listy avatar
GenericPanda09
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Jeez....... what's the world coming to when you can't just abandon your kids whilst you get your horny on after a couple of beers and let fat kev from accounts touch you up in his car? it's pc gone too far. ..

paintergirl888 avatar
P.A.B.
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Generic… That’s for adding some levity to this…I know I needed it!

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kpnjm82 avatar
Kevin J. Henning
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If the parent was being this unreliable I'm wondering what would have happened if one of the kids had a serious medical emergency. If an emergency room doctor or nurse called and this person ignored them she'd have been investigated anyway. It was clever of you to have a written contract. Bravo!

deshanta_lee avatar
Deshanta Lee
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think the mother should own up to her irresponsibility towards leaving her children. In the babysitters defense what if there was a car accident or critical situation that occurred? How could you just not respond to calls or texts? What if the kids had an emergency or the babysitter had a family.emergency? It is rude and dismissive and as a mother I would never leave my child like that and not respond! Who does that and then wonder why no one wants to babysit for YOU!

jordanklein_us avatar
Jordan Kidd
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA... I'm a parent of 5 ages ranging from 31-13 I've never left my children with someone and didn't not call at least once or twice while I was out to check on my children because as a responsible loving parent... That is what you do!! You want to know that your children are ok while you're away. That lady acts as though she cares nothing about them children so B. S. did the right thing.

paintergirl888 avatar
P.A.B.
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’m old enough to remember when there were only landlines. My parents didn’t go out often, but when they did, they always called home to check on me and my sisters and they left the number where they could be reached.

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stampfreak avatar
Suz66
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA Every time I babysat for someone, they always left emergency numbers in case of emergency. The father is clearly in the picture, she could have left his number. I used to babysit for a woman that had a drug and alcohol problem. She'd do the same thing, (sometimes she'd be gone all night.) I had numbers to call. She lived next door so I would just bring a pillow and blanket over if she was late. She would have to pay me for the whole time. She left drugs around her house (amphetamines--cross tops, weed and pipes, etc,) no surprise she OD'd and her poor child because an addict (and stripper,) later. I always stayed because I felt sorry for her.

phantasteek avatar
ChickyChicky
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA with the actions taken towards the mom, but I wonder if it was worth traumatizing the kids with a trip to the police station and not knowing where their mom is? Although it could mean there's a pattern of neglect going on. I don't know. I'm conflicted.

kathrynbaylis_1 avatar
Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe they weren’t traumatized. Maybe it was a treat to them, especially because of all the attention they would’ve gotten. Or maybe you’re right. We don’t have that part of the story.

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dc1 avatar
DC
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, maybe calling the police and saying you're afraid something happened to her, not bringing any else into play, might have been better. You can always raise to child neglect from there, but never the other way, but still - NTA. Not even giving a nonreason, but just a rescheduled time would be shiddy enough ... she took it far, further, and farthest by her choices. Not by yours.

rradma avatar
Doreen Archambault
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

if the mother kept pulling that bshit quit babysitting for her...nobody needs that grief

icanhazpanda avatar
Raven DeathShade
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am a babysitter, and though I've never endured anything like this (closest I've got, the mom got very drunk and giggly so her husband put her to bed and drove me home [after she asked repeatedly whether I felt comfortable having him drive me, which I did]). Then again, I'm relatively new to the whole babysitting-other-people's-kids thing, since I grew up just babysitting my siblings.

sabrina-n-meza avatar
S
Community Member
2 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

katietrondsen avatar
kit kat
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow so NTA. The police getting involved was probably the best thing to happen to those kids

notoriousdbt avatar
Notorious DBT
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She's definitely NTA but I feel really bad for the kids having to go to the police station at 1 am.

bcgrote avatar
Brandy Grote
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The parent IGNORES the communication attempts from the sitter? Like, illness, injury, fire, crazed gunman breaks in, whatever? She NEEDS a DCS investigation! Soooo NTA!

lifeisgood4226 avatar
Tugg Ster
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

she is 100% being a neglectful parent. Not answering your calls or coming home to her children when promised is a major issue. Plus she is being completely disrespectful of you and your life. I see nothing wrong with your actions

bebop37206 avatar
Barbara Whitlock McEwen
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The mother was very negligent! She was also selfish because the babysitter had to cancel her own plans due to her not responding to her text. Prayerfully the father is a better parent. The mother needs to blame herself for the DCF investigation.

epectasis avatar
Jos Tiguidou
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No one thinks they are both assholes? The babysitter knew 100% going in that the mother is a repeat offender when it comes to return times. Was the allure of "easy" money too strong to just say no? Why would she think this time would have been any different? Maybe the babysitter is lying here and wanted to get the cops involved. The internet is a slippery slope.

paintergirl888 avatar
P.A.B.
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If she wanted to “get the cops involved”, she most likely would have done it way before this. She probably didn’t want to, but where do you draw the line? When your first priority is the kids, you overlook a lot of crap sometimes (I’ve been in child care for 35 years). However, there’s a time for “tough love” for the adults, which often includes putting them in a situation where they have to take responsibility for their offspring. Perhaps you could have a conversation with a babysitter or caregiver sometime, and you’ll find that $$$ isn’t the big pull, it’s the kids. Oh, and there’s nothing “easy” about the money you earn when you’re responsible for the health and well-being of someone’s children.

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rahni avatar
Rannveig Ess
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Absolutely NTA. The thing that struck me is that the woman told the babysitter that she WAS ignoring her. Added to that it is "none of her business" where Mom was. It sure as hell is her biz. Why isn't it? Any parent who has to work a lot or go out of town for business or has to take care of a relative...they are very aware that's still time away from their kids. They feel guilty, at the minimum they miss their kids. Decent people call home to check on things and say goodnight. Child Services wouldn't have taken the kids unless there was some other issues in the past - they're careful not to disrupt the situation and are wary of ex's who manipulate or create situations so there can be custody wars. This was the best thing that could happen to them. Mom is into some bad, selfish stuff and it's not like it'll get better and stop as the kids get older. Who knows what violence or bad people she was going to bring into their lives with her idiocy.

scallihan7308 avatar
Susan Callihan
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She should sue the mom in small claims court for her fee. It's a slam dunk case.

denise_russell avatar
Denise .Russell
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The fact the police couldn't reach the mother either just shows how irresponsible the mother is. What if the kids and the sitter had been attacked or someone broke into the house, or something worse. The mother wouldn't have known till later. If she didn't want the responsibility of kids, she shouldn't have had any. Children aren't pets. You don't just leave them with someone for hours just because you don't want to deal with them all the time.

jason_doakes avatar
Jason Doakes
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

if they take away the kids, they're obviously doing her a favor, it seems.

jacobmartens avatar
Jacob Martens
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If that friend with kids thinks abandoning children to party till 3am is acceptable behaviour, maybe another call to the police is in order?

janice_strickland avatar
Janice Strickland
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I never leave my son at daycare for more than 8 hours and I sure as hell never inconvenience my family caring for him. If I say a time I stick to it. But I love my time with my son so I'm always in a hurry to get home to him

marshafredell avatar
Lovin' Life
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

WTF. She deserves what she gets. Some people just shouldn't be parents. This pisses me of to no end.

stargal avatar
Silre
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is this client my mother in law? Cause she used to pull this s**t on me and my husband with my sister in law. One time she didn't come home until the next day.

mpeapell_1 avatar
MAnahP
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I babysat in my small town for a lot of First Responders. Even they called if they were running late!!

john_carter avatar
John Carter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mental case and deserves to lose the children. Going to take small claims court to get paid so I'd write that evening off.

mettehoegh avatar
Valkyrie
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Definitely TA! That mum may be super annoying but think about the trauma the kids are exposed to by being picked up by the police in the middle of the night!

collettejohnson avatar
Meh
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a childminder my policy is if a parent is more than an hour late and I can't contact them or an emergency contact I have to call social services soooo NTA at all. I can also charge £1 per minute late fee

betakrankusov avatar
snipergun
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your friend with kids is wrong, you did absolutely correct. You should turn off the phone and don't talk to her anymore to skip the part you're being blamed. I get that single mother wants go let off a steam but this is not the way all the time. Btw good that investigation started.

llama_flower93 avatar
Llama_flower93
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I mean, if you're ever in a situation where you think, "if the cops knew about this, they would act on it" then you are never the asshole for telling the cops.

viki_banaszak avatar
Viki Banaszak
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA Seriously. She could have given you a heads up. Even lied and said she was having car trouble and you would have waited as long as it took, but instead she probably went out with her friends and met someone and got laid and couldn't be bothered to even make something up to cover her ass. Instead she is blaming you for something that was totally her own doing. Hope she had a great time. After the kids are gone she can do whatever she wants.

michelle_muirhead avatar
Michelle Muirhead
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She was probably having a steamy night hook up. The babysitter did the right thing!

tgsbbh avatar
ToGo
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Absolutely NTA. She wasn't being petty, the mother abandoned her kids. Just because you have someone watch your kids it doesn't mean you're no longer responsible for them! And as for asking the "friend with kids", just because you have kids it doesn't make you a moral compass.

dontlook avatar
Don't Look
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

HA! Imagine this sort of thing back in 80s/90s? Actually it used to happen and it turned into rumors because social Media just wasn’t.

lontri avatar
Marika Miettinen
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I worked as an Au pair I sometimes had nightmares where the parents just disappeared and then nobody believed that the kids weren't mine and I was stuck with them forever. Lovely kids, sure, but oh my lord I'm not mother material at all! Totally not the asshole, what an irresponsible mom for staying out 6 hours longer than she was supposed to, and can't even be reached! I hope that the kids go to the dad and he takes good care of them.

faithhurst-bilinski avatar
Faith Hurst-Bilinski
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No where even close! She should be investigated. Who knows what else she does?

christinayeater avatar
Christina Yeater
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. Seems likely she (the "mom") didn't want to lose child support; she's already, consistently, shown she doesn't care about the kids.

lovemrc avatar
Elsie
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree with both ladies. The mother was clearly taking advantage of the babysitter and ignoring the text. I hope all ended well for her and her children but she should not take advantage of people

lindamatheny avatar
Oogiebogieaugiedaddy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think she got what she deserved! Good for you. How she treated you was just wrong!!!

pseudo_puppy avatar
Pseudo Puppy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a kid with a mother like that.... 1,000,000% NOT the arsehole!!!!!!!!!!! Without question.... absolutely NOT the arsehole. Wish I'd had non-arseholes like that, as opposed to the dozens of adults who enabled my mother's neglect of me and my sibling. (for the love of any deity in existence, if you don't want to raise kids... use a contraception. A condom costs what? $1? About 5-10% the cost of one drink you'd consume in a night of neglecting your kids. FFS)

rickhold_steve avatar
Steve Rickhold
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mother's fault for sure. She'd rather be doing other things (or people) than looking after her kids. She's probably spending that CS having fun too.... Sterilize her and give the kids to the father. Imho

nonotalways avatar
Bryn
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA - The mom is something else. Like, I can understand not knowing exactly when you're going to be home. But not contacting them about it? Yeah that's the asshole move. It sounds like she wasn't planning on getting back until 3 AM.

laurabamber avatar
The Starsong Princess
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA but of course, she is going to curse you out and badmouth you. It’s who she is.

lauraedwards avatar
laura edwards
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Do you think she would stop when the kids were old enough to watch themselves? If she will do that when someone is watching, she will do it when nobody is.

justinroose avatar
Brobro McDuderson
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’m actually going with ESH…prob unpopular, but hear me out: this mother has demonstrated a long history of pulling this sh*t. While this story depicts a worse scenario than previous babysitting examples…what exactly did the sitter expect “this time”? When someone shows you their true self, simply pay attention. Ngl, mom’s def the bigger AH, it’s probably 80/20, but this babysitter keeps coming back for more of this lol. And the sitter somehow hasn’t addressed this behavior in previous sittings? That the sitter is somehow surprised by this behaviors is…weird. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. *shrug*. EDIT: FWIW, I disagree with some of the other ESH comments, in that I *do* think calling the cops was the right thing to do, even if it resulted in a CPS investigation…that’s on the mom. Also, my {relative} works in the schools, with far more CPS interaction she’d want. This one incident won’t have the kids taken away. It takes ALOT (and, ALOT more than this) for CPS to take kids/impact custody. A lot.

mauiwowie68 avatar
Jude Thaddeus Fenwick
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I actually have a degree in Early Childhood Education and can safely say, this person does not need to be a babysitter at all. Calling the police to pick up a child because they patènes are late or don’t show up I’d just taking your anger out on the child. That’s traumatizing and unnecessary; what he/she needs to do is have familial emergency contacts to call

dudie avatar
Dudie
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I understand the frustration the babysitter felt. I truly do. However, I would NEVER have put those children through that. Never. Woken up in the middle of the night, mommy's gone, taken to the police station. Terrible. This was done in anger. I would have waited it out and never worked for this woman again. I think this was very irresponsible of the babysitter.

andrewallangird avatar
Andrew
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Problem with these AITA things are it's a binary question, black and white, right or wrong etc etc. This example is 100% both parties are assholes. The sitter should have fallen asleep on the couch. Collected an additional 6 hrs of pay and never spoken to the bitch mother again. By getting the police involved you seriously risk the children's future! These cases can drag out for years and be detrimental to the children's lives. Yes the mother's actions are highly questionable. But at least she is ensuring her kids are taken care of. So all parties are assholes in this one.

ioanaadriana avatar
i0ana
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Looks like c**k is more important than her kids !😐😐😐 Maybe she thinks twice,now.

alich-laura avatar
Hi-Dona
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You should have not continued to sit for her from the last experiences. Sounds like you wanted her to mess up again and give her a lesson. I think a small 15 min leeway after waiting hours on other occasions that had probably set the standard would be a shocker for anyone. You're just as cray cray as she is. But you're the vengeful kind. If you don't like being a door mat then don't be, but wait for you're moment of payback, in the end it just hurts everyone, even my impression of you as a complete stranger.

brian_michael avatar
Brian Michael
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She's not the asshole to the mom but us absolutely the asshole to the kids. I get the mom deserves this but what about the kids? Can you imagine being woken up and taken from your home by cops and made to stay at the police station? She should have just sat it out, bitch the horrible mom out and never sit for her again. Those kids were the victims of this petty back and forth.

paintergirl888 avatar
P.A.B.
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The folks who just wanted her to ride the wave and just don’t babysit again, are missing the bigger picture: nothing would have changed. The mom would have started the cycle again with a new sitter. Since the kids are the focus, their long-term interest is most important. A trip to the police station is sometimes a necessary evil to achieve that goal.

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sapphiredracon avatar
Georgia Hebert
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I know I'm going to get downvoted for this, but, to the people saying she should have just stopped babysitting for her and not called the authorities, what happens when the next babysitter is a pedophile...

kaisariany avatar
COCO puff
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You dont call the police for that and I think both of them overreacted. Poor kids!

boredpanda_99 avatar
SirWriteALot
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd say NTA but I don't think it's good for the kids to have to go to the police station. What a traumatizing event that must have been. I couldn't go to sleep knowing the kids I like and take care of regularly have to spend who knows how many hours at the station. Not a good move.

anne-karina avatar
Anne
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm sure the cops took good and friendly care of the children. But the mom should have thought about that. She was warned - had read the warning!! and still chose to ignore it. Do not blame the sitter for the errors of the mother.

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macgarry avatar
Effin Fred
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Totally an ass! You knew her history and you still took the job. Be professional and do your job. Just because the mom's an ass also, you're a bigger one because you knew the deal ahead of time. Plus, you were just going out with friends. That's a big F U to you!

phil84vaive avatar
Phil Vaive
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think they're both the assholes. The mom, for every reason stated here, but also the babysitter for using the kids as pawns when she reached her breaking point. Having the police take them to the police station when they weren't in harm's way so that she could go home and sleep in her bed, when she knew full well that the mom was like this, is cruel. If she was truly concerned about the kids' wellbeing, she could have stayed with them until the morning and slept on the couch. Yes, the mom is neglectful and irresponsible, but if the sitter was truly worried about the kids well being, and knew full well that the mom was a flaky moron, she could have handled it quite differently.

lenonis avatar
John Dough
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So the babysitter is the asshole when not only was the mom not picking up but leaving texts unread? The mom ended up being 6 hours late. Just how long do you expect her to wait?

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meshah avatar
Mesha H
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would have never done that. I would have stayed and cursed her out so bad she would have regret the day she was born and NEVER babysat again but not called the police.

donotreplytokjk avatar
Otter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why did I get downvoted for pointing out that calling the cops wasn't in the best interests of the child? Yes, the mother was being horrible to the babysitter and needed a comeuppance, but the mother and the babysitter aren't the only people involved - the children were involved and they were the ones who got hauled down to the police station in the middle of the night. That must have been terrifying for them.

lenonis avatar
John Dough
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lots of assumptions there. What about the trauma of the mom going missing?

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eppetot avatar
Eppe
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The mother is definitely the biggest AH, but the babysitter is a bit of an AH too for having the kids taken away by the police way after midnight, which must be a traumatizing experience.

erikah_ avatar
ERIKA H.
Community Member
2 years ago

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She's the asshole because even if the mom sucks that much, those kids now how to live that trauma

renskedejonge9 avatar
Flip
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dutch police took kids out of a home, where their mom was. It was on youtube. Ppl were furious. Turned out mom alienated the kids from dad and he got em.

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warloewbrinn avatar
Warloew Brinn
Community Member
2 years ago

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Prolly get kick back for this but calling the cops was going too far. You already knew this was an issue with her so it's not like it should have been a big surprise. Honestly you should have just stayed until she got home then NEVER babysit for her again. Cops need to be out dealing with other things, not grabbing kids of a lady you knew would be extra late. Important note: I'm not defending the moms actions, I'm just saying the cops were overkill.

lenonis avatar
John Dough
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah just push the problem onto the next babysitter! Let's just never let the women get consequences for abandoning get children. Brilliant!

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anneking68 avatar
StrawberryParfait
Community Member
2 years ago

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Yes, you're the asshole. This mother was a terrible client of yours, but there is no evidence she was a terrible mother who was neglecting her children just because she was inconsiderate of your time. Really. You also wasted the time of the police, who had better things to do then take children from a home where a babysitter was looking after them, with the parent expected to return. And for what? Yes, your plans were ruined, but that hardly trumps causing this level of strife for this mother. The correct thing would have been to charge her extra for the hours she was not home, then never babysit for her again. Do people no longer think about the consequences of their actions on others?

electric_blues03 avatar
Morgan Barrett
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Exactly! Did the POS mother never think about the consequences of her actions on others? She broke her word and refused to acknowledge any attempted communication from the person she left in charge of the kids she obviously doesn't care about. The mother deserves what she gets because she couldn't even be bothered to make a phone call or send a text. I hope she learns to care about other people.

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Alicia Miller
Community Member
2 years ago

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I agree with the women's friend. I'm not excusing the mom's behavior but the sitter should have set boundaries and dumped her long ago. I feel bad the kids were hauled out of bed in the middle of the night and taken to the police station. They didn't do anything but have a POS mom. Seems this could have been handled a better way.

gerardneaux avatar
Gerard Neaux
Community Member
2 years ago

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I hope the kids weren't too shaken to be taken out of their home and to police at 3am, but indeed it's not even clear that the babysitter was being paid for the extra time.

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Deborah B
Community Member
2 years ago

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minorly TA - she was MIA. She was supposed to be back by 9pm still gone and not responding to texts or calls at 1am. Not acceptable. But phoning the police is a bit much. You should have arranged an emergency contact beforehand, or refused to work for her, especially as she'd done this before. Or had a signed agreement upfront that time in excess of the agreed hours was overtime and billable at 300%.

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MR Thisbetterstick
Community Member
2 years ago

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YTA (mostly). You already knew the mom was a time non-conformist. This is why you get "emergency" numbers (not 911). Not just in case mom couldn't be reached for an emergency (so someone can make family medical decisions, etc.), but also for someone who can take over if mom can't be reached and the sitter needs to leave. It's an imperative conversation to have the 1st time with a new sitter/client. Multiple options are necessary. And yeah, mom was a totally inconsiderate jerk with communication and being respectful of the sitter's time; however, sitter was clearly getting paid for all the time invested, or wouldn't have agreed to further appointments. Mom clearly never (nor intended to) abandoned or neglected the children and got a responsible sitter for times she was away. Bad behavior on sitter's part to create a criminal situation from being inconvenienced at work. Anyone on hourly rates can tell you lots of 'stay late' times, but you don't call the cops on your employer.

stampfreak avatar
Suz66
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The mother should have given her emergency numbers. She could have left the children's father info. Time "non-conformist? Why sugar coating someone who didn't answer the phone while the babysitter's calls and text. She deserved it. This mother seemed out of control and since it was a pattern, she needed to be investigated.

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Otter
Community Member
2 years ago

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YOU ARE THE ASSHOLE!!! Waiting for the mother to come home and bitching the hell out of her before quitting would have resulted in the kids having a peaceful night at home, at least until the argument started. As it was, they were hauled down to the police station and told their mother was missing, and I can't imagine anything more terrifying for young children short of a zombie apocalypse. Yes, the mother was a huge, huge asshole, but calling the cops was not in the best interests of the children.

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Tara Raay
Community Member
2 years ago

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I’m glad I’m not the only one who thought this! I feel like the OP let the mom take advantage. Should have stoped baby sitting or had a serious convo about it. Why not insist on emergency numbers if this happened so frequently?

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Andy Acceber
Community Member
2 years ago

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I disagree. It sucks. You should've phased her out as a client. But I wouldn't have called the cops, especially not the same day you first mention it as a possibility. A different option: First time she's more than 15 minutes late, talk to her about the importance of being on time. Say that in the future, you'll need to charge double for every 15 minutes she's late. Do it. Second time she's late, charge the increased amount. Stress the importance of needing a reliable pick-up time and demand contact info for a local emergency contact. Let her know the next time she's late, you'll call the emergency contact to get the kids. Third time she's late, charge double and call the emergency contact. If emergency contact gets the kids, great! You've found a solution. If not... (see next comment)

mark-mckenzie_1 avatar
anarkzie
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If this single mum is to be assigned a social worker, it's due to her negligence not her baby sitter being a grass. No one wants to deal with social workers but they are there to protect the welfare of children. This woman's behavior was endangering her children's life and she was being a d**k. If she loses custody that on her and she needs to accept responsibility for her actions.

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Caro Caro
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OMG. NTA for sure. What if there had been an emergency??? She is just ignoring the phone because I'm pretty sure she did look so now and then, everybody (well, nearly everybody) does especially if you have children. Coming home late is one thing, making the baby sitter stay longer without notice is a shitty thing to do but ignoring all the phone calls is neglect. What a cow!.

sweetangelce04 avatar
CatWoman312
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I thought the same thing! What if the kid was choking or fell and broke their leg!? Anything could have happened. I couldn’t imagine ignoring my phone if someone was watching my child

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Trillian
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If she loses custody it's not because OP was being "petty" but because she was being extremely unreliable and obviously not caring about them. So no one to blame but herself.

sassyandclassy avatar
classbag
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Exactly. The mom friend who called OP petty is so wrong. Leaving your kids with someone else and disappearing without being reachable is unacceptable. It is neglect, even if your kids are in a babysitter's care. The babysitter is not responsible for your children indefinitely--they are YOUR kids! The mom deserved to have DCF called on her.

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anne-karina avatar
Anne
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's all on the mother. Want to pull an all nighter? Have fun! Just let the sitter know in advance. Simple. I just hope the dad is a good one.

annmaria_petrini avatar
AnnMaria Petrini
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mom was out having fun. I remember on the rare times I ever used a sitter it was work related and I used a relative yet, I called periodically to talk to my kids and sitter to see if everything was ok. This lady not only doesn't check on her kids and sitter but ignores all calls from the sitter! Omg! And then she doesn't show up too!?! What if the kids were hurt, hospitalized, home invasion, fire...so many things can happen yet she just didn't care. She's unfit.

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james_fox1984 avatar
Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Poor kids. What if the babysitter was trying to call coz one of the kids was injured or other kind of emergency. This mum needs a good kick up the a**e, you don't do that s**t. By all means have a night out but remember you still have a duty to your children and should be available to be contacted or have a back up just in case. This is all on the mum, and sadly it's the kids that have to suffer the consequences of her selfish carelessness.

pauldavis avatar
Paul Davis
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nothing petty about it. You don't get to take other people hostage by depending on their concern for your kids being greater than your own. The consequences aren't on your "hostage", they're completely on you. But this babysitter should learn not to keep coming back when a parent has demonstrated such obvious irresponsibility and narcissism -- it was never going to end well.

annmaria_petrini avatar
AnnMaria Petrini
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So true and the person who called her "petty" is no friend. Probably another unfit parent. The babysitter did absolutely the right thing. Another concern is that the mother of the kids could have had an accident, been killed by a date, who knows? The fact that she didn't answer texts or calls is cause for alarm on many levels. Nobody who cares about their kids would not check on them or not answer the texts and calls.

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lara
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We NEVER left our son with a babysitter without her knowing exactly where we were going to be in case she needed to get a hold of us for emergencies. We would tell her we were going out to dinner and a movie, so she would have some idea of when we would return. I cannot ever begin to think of leaving our son without the sitter being able to get a hold of us. This is totally and completely mindblowing. She deserves to lose her kids.

tabithamartel avatar
Tabitha Martel
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I was babysitting age the parents I worked for ALWAYS told me where they were going. Estimated time for coming home. Emergency numbers. They'd check in sometimes. It all just seemed like common sense. And if I ever got weird vibes I made sure never to return.

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marinamercouri avatar
Beatrice Multhaupt
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I used to have a boss like that. Fed up, I went to see my friend, John, who unfortunately was dying of AIDS. His last words to me were, ''As a native speaker of English, what part of the word 'NO' are you having trouble pronouncing?''. Memorable.

robyngardam avatar
KombatBunni
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Kids deserve a parent that cares about them and one that doesn't just disappear with no warning and no explanation. She's just pissed because she was caught being irresponsible. Most definitely NTA, that's all on the mother. I sincerely hope these children end up with family who cares more about them than constant nights out.

ishma-in008 avatar
S.
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not the A-hole, since it was a repeated act of careless from the mother's side, and OP gave multiple chances. I just hope that the kiddos are okay. :(

silvia_torres_zamora avatar
Mina
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

At first I thought perhaps the babysitter should have simply waited this one out and never work for this mom again. Calling the police does seem a bit over the top, until you consider that should this not have happened, the mom would have just found another babysitter and probably gone through many of them until she found one that didn't care. This not only seems disrespectful toward babysitters, but more importantly neglectful toward her kids. If she wants to be living the single life, then hand the kids over to the dad or someone else who will be there for them. Bringing in too many people to care for them instead of her can't be good for their development and there is also a risk of bringing in the wrong person who might abuse them and she would never know it. So yes, in this case I happen to agree with what the babysitter did and although she did it out of self-interest (can't blame her either), in the long run this will hopefully also make sure those kids aren't neglected or put in any danger.

kayblue avatar
Kay blue
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She was reading the messages and decided to just ignore them and the calls. What if something had happened to one of the children and the mother ignored all calls. She deserved everything she got, maybe she will learn that taking the piss with people who are caring for your children is not a good idea.

leodomitrix avatar
Leo Domitrix
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you make a schedule, stick to it. Otherwise, you're showing a pattern of unreliability, erratic behavior, and disregard for the children's welfare. IMHO.

tristancakes avatar
Tristan Cakes
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I was a "stay at home mom" I started baby sitting for a family friend who was a single mother of a 1 year old. She would get off work (her work was 10 minutes from my house) and make terrible excuses why she would be 2 hours late EVERY day. Then she'd finally get here and say "can you watch him just a little longer so I can run to the tanning bed" or "can you watch him while I run to see my boyfriend" or "can you watch him while while I run to the store". It was like really? I have been watching him 8-10 hours already and you're going to just leave? Then she'd short me money everytime she paid me. I was trying to help her since she was a friend but after a month of it going on I was like F this crap I'm done. I understand how this girl was feeling.

annmaria_petrini avatar
AnnMaria Petrini
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This woman does not love her baby. Priorities. She's at work all day and doesn't ache to be with her baby? No love. Poor child. This world is so messed up.

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april_caron avatar
April Caron
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Guess what schools do when you don’t pick up your child and they can’t get a hold of you? That’s right! They call the police… who pick up the child/children… and file a report with DCF.

3loretta979 avatar
Loretta
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA, geez. If a mother goes on a 7-day holiday without notifying the sitter, the sitter should take over as surrogate mom?? Moreover, it's not her decision that the kids might be taken away from that woman. She just called the police to solve HER problem, the police decided that it was such a bad situation it's worth an investigation. OP can't be held responsible for that, it's beyond her authority.

stampfreak avatar
Suz66
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't understand people who are trying to protect the mother. The kids are the most important health and this is a pattern of neglect and she was warned and chose to ignore her calls.She's clearly the AH

mark-mckenzie_1 avatar
anarkzie
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA, She went above and beyond to communicate to her that she had plans. The story focuses on the babysitters social life but there is also the health of the children to consider, what if they had been an emergency and the babysitter needed important medical information as this woman is just ghosting her? It's neglect and that is a matter for the police.

kathrynbaylis_1 avatar
Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If the police deemed it necessary to dismiss the babysitter and take the kids to the police station, after even THEY couldn’t contact her—-I can only imagine what the cop’s voicemails to her sounded like—-then the mother was being legally neglectful. Hopefully the father is a much better parent. If not, there has to be a grandparent, aunt, uncle, someone who will take better care of them. Poor babies!

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littlesaresare
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Children are abused and neglected by their parents all the time and police don't care. If this woman does lose her kids, there is clearly A LOT more going on there than her just being late home one night. So blaming the babysitter for it is pathetic.

trisec13 avatar
Trisec
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not at all. I once called the cops on a parent that was using a youth group I was leading as babysitting service. The meeting was over 45 minutes ago; no-show, no answer on phone. She actually showed up at the same time the cops did, so I let them deal with her and went home.

safsaf avatar
SAF saf
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Me personally, I wouldn't have let it get this far. You leave me taking care of your kids for any extra hours! i'm not coming back. The sitter isn't responsible for legal troubles. If it wasn't her it would have been some other sitter. What a horrible mom here, horrible.

leighc_ avatar
MyOpinionHasBeenServed
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This isn't the first time a parent has had their kids taken due to abandonment with a babysitter. It's one thing to give a heads up that you want to stay late, but always have a back up if the babysitter needs to leave at a certain time.

christmas avatar
Chris Jones
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yep. The children could end up in care. At best they might end up with a different family member but even if it's just the upheaval and they are well cared for it's still tough for them and can mess them up. Those poor children. Don't have children if you still want to party all the time FFS.

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haute_dawg avatar
𝔓𝔲𝔯𝔭𝔩𝔢 ℜ𝔞𝔢𝔑
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Are you KIDDING ME?! NTA!!! I (along with having been an Au Pair/ nanny/ babysitter myself) have NEVER heard of a parent NOT being able to "get in contact with!" Like, E-V-E-R!!! IDK that I would have been so generous as Electronic_Professor, though- as far as the number of times allowing the "parent" to be late. For me, three times the charm. After that comes ONE warning- in TEXT, for PROOF. IF (to the powers that be, hopefully 'it' wouldn't go "there"), but IF, for SOME reason, "it" would happen again- NO warning- just DOING. (As in, going to the police.) Let's recap: THREE chances. ONE warning. Time's up = ACTION. Period.

haute_dawg avatar
𝔓𝔲𝔯𝔭𝔩𝔢 ℜ𝔞𝔢𝔑
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What disturbs me the most is wondering if the "parent" even bothered to do a "CHECK-IN" (aka WELLNESS CHECK) on her children.

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juniorcj82 avatar
JuniorCJ82
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA and not petty in the slightest. YOU made a statement and followed through on it, unlike her.

rowdieangel avatar
RowdieAngel
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm a private Nanny and I actually have in my contract that I can call the non-emergency police line if you are not there to relieve me. I gave you an hour and a half before I call this is taken directly from my contract: If the family has been more than an hour late and cannot be reached, the Nanny will call emergency contacts. If it has been more than an hour and a half and neither the Family nor emergency contacts can be reached, the Family agrees that the Nanny has has permission to call the non-emergency police line. Nanny will receive 2X pay during this time for the inconvenience. far too many times, I have been stuck somewhere simply because I cannot legally leave. And parents take advantage of this. They know that we cannot legally walk out the door and leave the children behind, so they trap us there. I've been trapped as long as six or seven hours after my home daycare closed because I absolutely could not get anybody to pick up the kids, and I didn't have a car seat. I was entirely too kind and I did not call the police although I should have. they were my neighbors as well as my clients and they took horrendous advantage of me. I actually ended up releasing them as clients due to this and other things that they did.

emory_ce avatar
Carol Emory
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. I have to say, if it were a true emergency, I'd have actually been grateful if, for some reason, I could not call the babysitter back. Maybe I'm stuck in a car off the road unable to call. Maybe I've been abducted or ended up in the ER. In any case, when I hired babysitters, I told them where we would be, what route we were taking and when we would be back. If we weren't going to get back in time, I'd call to make sure everything was ok. Keep your babysitter happy. The mother SHOULD lose custody of her kids if she's so into what she's doing that her babysitter calling doesn't warrant an answer.

holliemarie1995 avatar
Hollie Marie
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How can anyone think this person was an ahole. This is deffo a NTA story what if the kids were sick or injured, not to mention you are at someone's house it's not like you can just go to bed so that poor babysitter would have had to stay awake until 3am had they not done something sooner. I'm glad they got the dad involved cuz clearly the mum can't be asked and I feel because there have been enough instances of the mum doing this you have a solid case for taking the kids away

mariacurtis avatar
Ria C.
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We all know mom was ok. But what if mom wasn't??? What was she supposed to do? Mom made the choice to ignore and send the babysitter to babysitter" jail" for worrying. Mom was neglectful...full stop mom's the a-hole

eliskaklimentova avatar
Eliska Klimentova
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. Honestly if that had happened to me, I’d be calling the cops, if not for the kids then because I’d probably have been thinking something bad had happened to her. If you’re an adult and promise to be somewhere at certain time, especially somewhere important, and you’re a no call, no show, you really can’t act all that surprised when people call the cops, if for nothing else to make sure you’re not lying dead in the ditch

reptilegirl30 avatar
Tacos Are Tasty
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mom is 100% the asshole here. Babysitter did the right thing and is NTA.

smallfryjamerz avatar
Jamie Solt
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA .... The mom needs to be easily gotten ahold of in case of an emergency..... And just in general.

leahwilliams avatar
Leah Williams
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I bet the mom was doing drugs or something. There's no explanation I can think of other than addiction that would cause such neglect! It's complete neglect. Sad.

douglasmock avatar
Douglas Mock
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hope she loses custody. These children need a parent, not a useless, self-centered, entitled diva.

katrijn-demaere avatar
Kat
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Douglas, first of all, I agree with OP. She did the right thing. BUT: the kids were ,as far as we know, fed, clothed, housed, ... And taken care of (not in the best way, but she could have just left them home on their own).... She is a bad parent, but these kids are probably better off with her than 'in the system' (we have no idea the dad is even in the picture...) Wishing that on the kids is not a solution...

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cassandraponce avatar
LaGitanaTriste
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA! Imagine what this “mother” does when she doesn’t even bother to get a babysitter. OP did the right thing for the kids and for herself. The “mother” is responsible for her own actions and the consequences.

annmaria_petrini avatar
AnnMaria Petrini
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm worried that if she gets her kids back, she won't use a babysitter at all next time. She'll just leave them all alone and go have her Funtime.

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gabbym avatar
Gabby M
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The mom seems like a manipulative abuser. She is blaming the babysitter for something that she is responsible for. Those poor kids.

sapnasarfarejournalist avatar
Sapna Sarfare
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Of course, the babysitter is correct in her behaviour. I would do the same. She did call and warn. She is quite patient. Also, i would stay away from the friend with kids. She seems fishy in supporting this stupid mom. I always say - not everyone is meant to be a parent. And if you have kids, better tighten your belt.

coricox avatar
Cori
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What. The. Hell. Even if we ignore the beyond rude and entitled disregard for another person's time, what if the sitter had been calling from the emergency room? If my children aren't physically with me, my phone is ALWAYS within arm's reach. I'd have that phone to my ear before the first ring even finished.

morganharbridge avatar
Morgan
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Poor kids...you mentioned getting ready after putting them to bed so they got woken up in the middle of the night and taken to the police station...that has to be scary

mikaylasol avatar
Micah<3
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. My parents were separated and so if my mum wanted to go out I'd go to my dads for the night, even though I was there every weekend anyway. I was able to cook basic meals and such kind of young, so if my mum had to go pick one of her friends up she'd wake me up, let me know she was going out and lock the door and she'd put the home phone set on her mobile number for if I needed something.

andreadevine avatar
Full of Giggles
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. She never intended to keep her promise to be back by 9. She told you exactly what you wanted to hear because the alternative would have resulted in her forfeiting her fun. The fact she was reading your text without responding and admitted to purposely ignoring your calls proves it. And yes, it is absolutely your business as to why she was six hours late. SIX. HOURS. If she had been an hour or two late, she’d have a legitimate argument. But she didn’t. She deliberately screwed you over. You deserve to know why.

mcfly933 avatar
Kim Shannon
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Definitely NTA. The sitter's actions were NOT petty. Obvs mom has no problem doing what she wants to do and the heck with everyone else. We went through this with my stepdaughter's mom. Once she was 10 HOURS LATE picking up her own daughter. Every single time she went away for the weekend, she would do the same thing.

kalebprichardmiraikuma avatar
Kaleb Prichard (MiraiKuma)
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. Speaking as someone who had a horrible childhood, I wish someone had done something like that with me. It was probably traumatic to the kids, but there is 100% things going on in the background that you probably saved them from because of this.

ealizabethane avatar
Lisa Shaw
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

One my kids went through this, they babysat for roommate moms who were exotic dancers, they would leave early evening and supposed to be home after work, so 2-3am, but they would always find a party after work. My kids put up with this all summer. One Friday night they went to work as usual, Saturday morning, no show, no call, they brought the kids over to our place, we continuously tried to reach them all day into the night, no luck. By Sunday morning the baby was out of diapers and there was no food in the house, the no food in the house was the reason they brought them to our place. So, I had a talk with the oldest and got the names of the children's grandparents, who all lived in another city some ours away from us, I informed them what had been going on for months and suggested that we file missing persons reports on both moms, which would trigger the police to contact CAS, all the grandparents drove hours to get to our city and take custody of the children.

listy avatar
GenericPanda09
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Jeez....... what's the world coming to when you can't just abandon your kids whilst you get your horny on after a couple of beers and let fat kev from accounts touch you up in his car? it's pc gone too far. ..

paintergirl888 avatar
P.A.B.
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Generic… That’s for adding some levity to this…I know I needed it!

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kpnjm82 avatar
Kevin J. Henning
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If the parent was being this unreliable I'm wondering what would have happened if one of the kids had a serious medical emergency. If an emergency room doctor or nurse called and this person ignored them she'd have been investigated anyway. It was clever of you to have a written contract. Bravo!

deshanta_lee avatar
Deshanta Lee
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think the mother should own up to her irresponsibility towards leaving her children. In the babysitters defense what if there was a car accident or critical situation that occurred? How could you just not respond to calls or texts? What if the kids had an emergency or the babysitter had a family.emergency? It is rude and dismissive and as a mother I would never leave my child like that and not respond! Who does that and then wonder why no one wants to babysit for YOU!

jordanklein_us avatar
Jordan Kidd
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA... I'm a parent of 5 ages ranging from 31-13 I've never left my children with someone and didn't not call at least once or twice while I was out to check on my children because as a responsible loving parent... That is what you do!! You want to know that your children are ok while you're away. That lady acts as though she cares nothing about them children so B. S. did the right thing.

paintergirl888 avatar
P.A.B.
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’m old enough to remember when there were only landlines. My parents didn’t go out often, but when they did, they always called home to check on me and my sisters and they left the number where they could be reached.

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stampfreak avatar
Suz66
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA Every time I babysat for someone, they always left emergency numbers in case of emergency. The father is clearly in the picture, she could have left his number. I used to babysit for a woman that had a drug and alcohol problem. She'd do the same thing, (sometimes she'd be gone all night.) I had numbers to call. She lived next door so I would just bring a pillow and blanket over if she was late. She would have to pay me for the whole time. She left drugs around her house (amphetamines--cross tops, weed and pipes, etc,) no surprise she OD'd and her poor child because an addict (and stripper,) later. I always stayed because I felt sorry for her.

phantasteek avatar
ChickyChicky
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA with the actions taken towards the mom, but I wonder if it was worth traumatizing the kids with a trip to the police station and not knowing where their mom is? Although it could mean there's a pattern of neglect going on. I don't know. I'm conflicted.

kathrynbaylis_1 avatar
Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe they weren’t traumatized. Maybe it was a treat to them, especially because of all the attention they would’ve gotten. Or maybe you’re right. We don’t have that part of the story.

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dc1 avatar
DC
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, maybe calling the police and saying you're afraid something happened to her, not bringing any else into play, might have been better. You can always raise to child neglect from there, but never the other way, but still - NTA. Not even giving a nonreason, but just a rescheduled time would be shiddy enough ... she took it far, further, and farthest by her choices. Not by yours.

rradma avatar
Doreen Archambault
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

if the mother kept pulling that bshit quit babysitting for her...nobody needs that grief

icanhazpanda avatar
Raven DeathShade
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am a babysitter, and though I've never endured anything like this (closest I've got, the mom got very drunk and giggly so her husband put her to bed and drove me home [after she asked repeatedly whether I felt comfortable having him drive me, which I did]). Then again, I'm relatively new to the whole babysitting-other-people's-kids thing, since I grew up just babysitting my siblings.

sabrina-n-meza avatar
S
Community Member
2 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

katietrondsen avatar
kit kat
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow so NTA. The police getting involved was probably the best thing to happen to those kids

notoriousdbt avatar
Notorious DBT
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She's definitely NTA but I feel really bad for the kids having to go to the police station at 1 am.

bcgrote avatar
Brandy Grote
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The parent IGNORES the communication attempts from the sitter? Like, illness, injury, fire, crazed gunman breaks in, whatever? She NEEDS a DCS investigation! Soooo NTA!

lifeisgood4226 avatar
Tugg Ster
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

she is 100% being a neglectful parent. Not answering your calls or coming home to her children when promised is a major issue. Plus she is being completely disrespectful of you and your life. I see nothing wrong with your actions

bebop37206 avatar
Barbara Whitlock McEwen
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The mother was very negligent! She was also selfish because the babysitter had to cancel her own plans due to her not responding to her text. Prayerfully the father is a better parent. The mother needs to blame herself for the DCF investigation.

epectasis avatar
Jos Tiguidou
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No one thinks they are both assholes? The babysitter knew 100% going in that the mother is a repeat offender when it comes to return times. Was the allure of "easy" money too strong to just say no? Why would she think this time would have been any different? Maybe the babysitter is lying here and wanted to get the cops involved. The internet is a slippery slope.

paintergirl888 avatar
P.A.B.
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If she wanted to “get the cops involved”, she most likely would have done it way before this. She probably didn’t want to, but where do you draw the line? When your first priority is the kids, you overlook a lot of crap sometimes (I’ve been in child care for 35 years). However, there’s a time for “tough love” for the adults, which often includes putting them in a situation where they have to take responsibility for their offspring. Perhaps you could have a conversation with a babysitter or caregiver sometime, and you’ll find that $$$ isn’t the big pull, it’s the kids. Oh, and there’s nothing “easy” about the money you earn when you’re responsible for the health and well-being of someone’s children.

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rahni avatar
Rannveig Ess
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Absolutely NTA. The thing that struck me is that the woman told the babysitter that she WAS ignoring her. Added to that it is "none of her business" where Mom was. It sure as hell is her biz. Why isn't it? Any parent who has to work a lot or go out of town for business or has to take care of a relative...they are very aware that's still time away from their kids. They feel guilty, at the minimum they miss their kids. Decent people call home to check on things and say goodnight. Child Services wouldn't have taken the kids unless there was some other issues in the past - they're careful not to disrupt the situation and are wary of ex's who manipulate or create situations so there can be custody wars. This was the best thing that could happen to them. Mom is into some bad, selfish stuff and it's not like it'll get better and stop as the kids get older. Who knows what violence or bad people she was going to bring into their lives with her idiocy.

scallihan7308 avatar
Susan Callihan
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She should sue the mom in small claims court for her fee. It's a slam dunk case.

denise_russell avatar
Denise .Russell
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The fact the police couldn't reach the mother either just shows how irresponsible the mother is. What if the kids and the sitter had been attacked or someone broke into the house, or something worse. The mother wouldn't have known till later. If she didn't want the responsibility of kids, she shouldn't have had any. Children aren't pets. You don't just leave them with someone for hours just because you don't want to deal with them all the time.

jason_doakes avatar
Jason Doakes
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

if they take away the kids, they're obviously doing her a favor, it seems.

jacobmartens avatar
Jacob Martens
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If that friend with kids thinks abandoning children to party till 3am is acceptable behaviour, maybe another call to the police is in order?

janice_strickland avatar
Janice Strickland
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I never leave my son at daycare for more than 8 hours and I sure as hell never inconvenience my family caring for him. If I say a time I stick to it. But I love my time with my son so I'm always in a hurry to get home to him

marshafredell avatar
Lovin' Life
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

WTF. She deserves what she gets. Some people just shouldn't be parents. This pisses me of to no end.

stargal avatar
Silre
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is this client my mother in law? Cause she used to pull this s**t on me and my husband with my sister in law. One time she didn't come home until the next day.

mpeapell_1 avatar
MAnahP
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I babysat in my small town for a lot of First Responders. Even they called if they were running late!!

john_carter avatar
John Carter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mental case and deserves to lose the children. Going to take small claims court to get paid so I'd write that evening off.

mettehoegh avatar
Valkyrie
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Definitely TA! That mum may be super annoying but think about the trauma the kids are exposed to by being picked up by the police in the middle of the night!

collettejohnson avatar
Meh
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a childminder my policy is if a parent is more than an hour late and I can't contact them or an emergency contact I have to call social services soooo NTA at all. I can also charge £1 per minute late fee

betakrankusov avatar
snipergun
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your friend with kids is wrong, you did absolutely correct. You should turn off the phone and don't talk to her anymore to skip the part you're being blamed. I get that single mother wants go let off a steam but this is not the way all the time. Btw good that investigation started.

llama_flower93 avatar
Llama_flower93
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I mean, if you're ever in a situation where you think, "if the cops knew about this, they would act on it" then you are never the asshole for telling the cops.

viki_banaszak avatar
Viki Banaszak
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA Seriously. She could have given you a heads up. Even lied and said she was having car trouble and you would have waited as long as it took, but instead she probably went out with her friends and met someone and got laid and couldn't be bothered to even make something up to cover her ass. Instead she is blaming you for something that was totally her own doing. Hope she had a great time. After the kids are gone she can do whatever she wants.

michelle_muirhead avatar
Michelle Muirhead
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She was probably having a steamy night hook up. The babysitter did the right thing!

tgsbbh avatar
ToGo
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Absolutely NTA. She wasn't being petty, the mother abandoned her kids. Just because you have someone watch your kids it doesn't mean you're no longer responsible for them! And as for asking the "friend with kids", just because you have kids it doesn't make you a moral compass.

dontlook avatar
Don't Look
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

HA! Imagine this sort of thing back in 80s/90s? Actually it used to happen and it turned into rumors because social Media just wasn’t.

lontri avatar
Marika Miettinen
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I worked as an Au pair I sometimes had nightmares where the parents just disappeared and then nobody believed that the kids weren't mine and I was stuck with them forever. Lovely kids, sure, but oh my lord I'm not mother material at all! Totally not the asshole, what an irresponsible mom for staying out 6 hours longer than she was supposed to, and can't even be reached! I hope that the kids go to the dad and he takes good care of them.

faithhurst-bilinski avatar
Faith Hurst-Bilinski
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No where even close! She should be investigated. Who knows what else she does?

christinayeater avatar
Christina Yeater
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. Seems likely she (the "mom") didn't want to lose child support; she's already, consistently, shown she doesn't care about the kids.

lovemrc avatar
Elsie
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree with both ladies. The mother was clearly taking advantage of the babysitter and ignoring the text. I hope all ended well for her and her children but she should not take advantage of people

lindamatheny avatar
Oogiebogieaugiedaddy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think she got what she deserved! Good for you. How she treated you was just wrong!!!

pseudo_puppy avatar
Pseudo Puppy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a kid with a mother like that.... 1,000,000% NOT the arsehole!!!!!!!!!!! Without question.... absolutely NOT the arsehole. Wish I'd had non-arseholes like that, as opposed to the dozens of adults who enabled my mother's neglect of me and my sibling. (for the love of any deity in existence, if you don't want to raise kids... use a contraception. A condom costs what? $1? About 5-10% the cost of one drink you'd consume in a night of neglecting your kids. FFS)

rickhold_steve avatar
Steve Rickhold
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mother's fault for sure. She'd rather be doing other things (or people) than looking after her kids. She's probably spending that CS having fun too.... Sterilize her and give the kids to the father. Imho

nonotalways avatar
Bryn
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA - The mom is something else. Like, I can understand not knowing exactly when you're going to be home. But not contacting them about it? Yeah that's the asshole move. It sounds like she wasn't planning on getting back until 3 AM.

laurabamber avatar
The Starsong Princess
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA but of course, she is going to curse you out and badmouth you. It’s who she is.

lauraedwards avatar
laura edwards
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Do you think she would stop when the kids were old enough to watch themselves? If she will do that when someone is watching, she will do it when nobody is.

justinroose avatar
Brobro McDuderson
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’m actually going with ESH…prob unpopular, but hear me out: this mother has demonstrated a long history of pulling this sh*t. While this story depicts a worse scenario than previous babysitting examples…what exactly did the sitter expect “this time”? When someone shows you their true self, simply pay attention. Ngl, mom’s def the bigger AH, it’s probably 80/20, but this babysitter keeps coming back for more of this lol. And the sitter somehow hasn’t addressed this behavior in previous sittings? That the sitter is somehow surprised by this behaviors is…weird. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. *shrug*. EDIT: FWIW, I disagree with some of the other ESH comments, in that I *do* think calling the cops was the right thing to do, even if it resulted in a CPS investigation…that’s on the mom. Also, my {relative} works in the schools, with far more CPS interaction she’d want. This one incident won’t have the kids taken away. It takes ALOT (and, ALOT more than this) for CPS to take kids/impact custody. A lot.

mauiwowie68 avatar
Jude Thaddeus Fenwick
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I actually have a degree in Early Childhood Education and can safely say, this person does not need to be a babysitter at all. Calling the police to pick up a child because they patènes are late or don’t show up I’d just taking your anger out on the child. That’s traumatizing and unnecessary; what he/she needs to do is have familial emergency contacts to call

dudie avatar
Dudie
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I understand the frustration the babysitter felt. I truly do. However, I would NEVER have put those children through that. Never. Woken up in the middle of the night, mommy's gone, taken to the police station. Terrible. This was done in anger. I would have waited it out and never worked for this woman again. I think this was very irresponsible of the babysitter.

andrewallangird avatar
Andrew
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Problem with these AITA things are it's a binary question, black and white, right or wrong etc etc. This example is 100% both parties are assholes. The sitter should have fallen asleep on the couch. Collected an additional 6 hrs of pay and never spoken to the bitch mother again. By getting the police involved you seriously risk the children's future! These cases can drag out for years and be detrimental to the children's lives. Yes the mother's actions are highly questionable. But at least she is ensuring her kids are taken care of. So all parties are assholes in this one.

ioanaadriana avatar
i0ana
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Looks like c**k is more important than her kids !😐😐😐 Maybe she thinks twice,now.

alich-laura avatar
Hi-Dona
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You should have not continued to sit for her from the last experiences. Sounds like you wanted her to mess up again and give her a lesson. I think a small 15 min leeway after waiting hours on other occasions that had probably set the standard would be a shocker for anyone. You're just as cray cray as she is. But you're the vengeful kind. If you don't like being a door mat then don't be, but wait for you're moment of payback, in the end it just hurts everyone, even my impression of you as a complete stranger.

brian_michael avatar
Brian Michael
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She's not the asshole to the mom but us absolutely the asshole to the kids. I get the mom deserves this but what about the kids? Can you imagine being woken up and taken from your home by cops and made to stay at the police station? She should have just sat it out, bitch the horrible mom out and never sit for her again. Those kids were the victims of this petty back and forth.

paintergirl888 avatar
P.A.B.
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The folks who just wanted her to ride the wave and just don’t babysit again, are missing the bigger picture: nothing would have changed. The mom would have started the cycle again with a new sitter. Since the kids are the focus, their long-term interest is most important. A trip to the police station is sometimes a necessary evil to achieve that goal.

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sapphiredracon avatar
Georgia Hebert
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I know I'm going to get downvoted for this, but, to the people saying she should have just stopped babysitting for her and not called the authorities, what happens when the next babysitter is a pedophile...

kaisariany avatar
COCO puff
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You dont call the police for that and I think both of them overreacted. Poor kids!

boredpanda_99 avatar
SirWriteALot
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd say NTA but I don't think it's good for the kids to have to go to the police station. What a traumatizing event that must have been. I couldn't go to sleep knowing the kids I like and take care of regularly have to spend who knows how many hours at the station. Not a good move.

anne-karina avatar
Anne
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm sure the cops took good and friendly care of the children. But the mom should have thought about that. She was warned - had read the warning!! and still chose to ignore it. Do not blame the sitter for the errors of the mother.

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macgarry avatar
Effin Fred
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Totally an ass! You knew her history and you still took the job. Be professional and do your job. Just because the mom's an ass also, you're a bigger one because you knew the deal ahead of time. Plus, you were just going out with friends. That's a big F U to you!

phil84vaive avatar
Phil Vaive
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think they're both the assholes. The mom, for every reason stated here, but also the babysitter for using the kids as pawns when she reached her breaking point. Having the police take them to the police station when they weren't in harm's way so that she could go home and sleep in her bed, when she knew full well that the mom was like this, is cruel. If she was truly concerned about the kids' wellbeing, she could have stayed with them until the morning and slept on the couch. Yes, the mom is neglectful and irresponsible, but if the sitter was truly worried about the kids well being, and knew full well that the mom was a flaky moron, she could have handled it quite differently.

lenonis avatar
John Dough
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So the babysitter is the asshole when not only was the mom not picking up but leaving texts unread? The mom ended up being 6 hours late. Just how long do you expect her to wait?

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meshah avatar
Mesha H
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would have never done that. I would have stayed and cursed her out so bad she would have regret the day she was born and NEVER babysat again but not called the police.

donotreplytokjk avatar
Otter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why did I get downvoted for pointing out that calling the cops wasn't in the best interests of the child? Yes, the mother was being horrible to the babysitter and needed a comeuppance, but the mother and the babysitter aren't the only people involved - the children were involved and they were the ones who got hauled down to the police station in the middle of the night. That must have been terrifying for them.

lenonis avatar
John Dough
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lots of assumptions there. What about the trauma of the mom going missing?

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eppetot avatar
Eppe
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The mother is definitely the biggest AH, but the babysitter is a bit of an AH too for having the kids taken away by the police way after midnight, which must be a traumatizing experience.

erikah_ avatar
ERIKA H.
Community Member
2 years ago

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She's the asshole because even if the mom sucks that much, those kids now how to live that trauma

renskedejonge9 avatar
Flip
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dutch police took kids out of a home, where their mom was. It was on youtube. Ppl were furious. Turned out mom alienated the kids from dad and he got em.

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warloewbrinn avatar
Warloew Brinn
Community Member
2 years ago

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Prolly get kick back for this but calling the cops was going too far. You already knew this was an issue with her so it's not like it should have been a big surprise. Honestly you should have just stayed until she got home then NEVER babysit for her again. Cops need to be out dealing with other things, not grabbing kids of a lady you knew would be extra late. Important note: I'm not defending the moms actions, I'm just saying the cops were overkill.

lenonis avatar
John Dough
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah just push the problem onto the next babysitter! Let's just never let the women get consequences for abandoning get children. Brilliant!

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anneking68 avatar
StrawberryParfait
Community Member
2 years ago

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Yes, you're the asshole. This mother was a terrible client of yours, but there is no evidence she was a terrible mother who was neglecting her children just because she was inconsiderate of your time. Really. You also wasted the time of the police, who had better things to do then take children from a home where a babysitter was looking after them, with the parent expected to return. And for what? Yes, your plans were ruined, but that hardly trumps causing this level of strife for this mother. The correct thing would have been to charge her extra for the hours she was not home, then never babysit for her again. Do people no longer think about the consequences of their actions on others?

electric_blues03 avatar
Morgan Barrett
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Exactly! Did the POS mother never think about the consequences of her actions on others? She broke her word and refused to acknowledge any attempted communication from the person she left in charge of the kids she obviously doesn't care about. The mother deserves what she gets because she couldn't even be bothered to make a phone call or send a text. I hope she learns to care about other people.

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Alicia Miller
Community Member
2 years ago

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I agree with the women's friend. I'm not excusing the mom's behavior but the sitter should have set boundaries and dumped her long ago. I feel bad the kids were hauled out of bed in the middle of the night and taken to the police station. They didn't do anything but have a POS mom. Seems this could have been handled a better way.

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Gerard Neaux
Community Member
2 years ago

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I hope the kids weren't too shaken to be taken out of their home and to police at 3am, but indeed it's not even clear that the babysitter was being paid for the extra time.

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Deborah B
Community Member
2 years ago

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minorly TA - she was MIA. She was supposed to be back by 9pm still gone and not responding to texts or calls at 1am. Not acceptable. But phoning the police is a bit much. You should have arranged an emergency contact beforehand, or refused to work for her, especially as she'd done this before. Or had a signed agreement upfront that time in excess of the agreed hours was overtime and billable at 300%.

mrthisbetterstick avatar
MR Thisbetterstick
Community Member
2 years ago

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YTA (mostly). You already knew the mom was a time non-conformist. This is why you get "emergency" numbers (not 911). Not just in case mom couldn't be reached for an emergency (so someone can make family medical decisions, etc.), but also for someone who can take over if mom can't be reached and the sitter needs to leave. It's an imperative conversation to have the 1st time with a new sitter/client. Multiple options are necessary. And yeah, mom was a totally inconsiderate jerk with communication and being respectful of the sitter's time; however, sitter was clearly getting paid for all the time invested, or wouldn't have agreed to further appointments. Mom clearly never (nor intended to) abandoned or neglected the children and got a responsible sitter for times she was away. Bad behavior on sitter's part to create a criminal situation from being inconvenienced at work. Anyone on hourly rates can tell you lots of 'stay late' times, but you don't call the cops on your employer.

stampfreak avatar
Suz66
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The mother should have given her emergency numbers. She could have left the children's father info. Time "non-conformist? Why sugar coating someone who didn't answer the phone while the babysitter's calls and text. She deserved it. This mother seemed out of control and since it was a pattern, she needed to be investigated.

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Otter
Community Member
2 years ago

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YOU ARE THE ASSHOLE!!! Waiting for the mother to come home and bitching the hell out of her before quitting would have resulted in the kids having a peaceful night at home, at least until the argument started. As it was, they were hauled down to the police station and told their mother was missing, and I can't imagine anything more terrifying for young children short of a zombie apocalypse. Yes, the mother was a huge, huge asshole, but calling the cops was not in the best interests of the children.

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Tara Raay
Community Member
2 years ago

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I’m glad I’m not the only one who thought this! I feel like the OP let the mom take advantage. Should have stoped baby sitting or had a serious convo about it. Why not insist on emergency numbers if this happened so frequently?

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Andy Acceber
Community Member
2 years ago

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I disagree. It sucks. You should've phased her out as a client. But I wouldn't have called the cops, especially not the same day you first mention it as a possibility. A different option: First time she's more than 15 minutes late, talk to her about the importance of being on time. Say that in the future, you'll need to charge double for every 15 minutes she's late. Do it. Second time she's late, charge the increased amount. Stress the importance of needing a reliable pick-up time and demand contact info for a local emergency contact. Let her know the next time she's late, you'll call the emergency contact to get the kids. Third time she's late, charge double and call the emergency contact. If emergency contact gets the kids, great! You've found a solution. If not... (see next comment)

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anarkzie
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If this single mum is to be assigned a social worker, it's due to her negligence not her baby sitter being a grass. No one wants to deal with social workers but they are there to protect the welfare of children. This woman's behavior was endangering her children's life and she was being a d**k. If she loses custody that on her and she needs to accept responsibility for her actions.

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