Sara Yetsko
Community Member
1 posts
4 comments
26 upvotes
91 points
Middle aged know it all. True crime obsessed, mom of 2 humans, 2 dogs, and 1 evil genius cat.
Sara Yetsko • submitted a new post 1 year ago
Sara Yetsko • commented on 4 posts 2 years ago
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Sara Yetsko • upvoted 26 items 2 years ago
Hey Pandas, What Is The Biggest Lesson You Learned From Your Parents Of What Not To Do With Your Own Kids?
Please for God’s sake don’t tell your kids you never should have had them, that they ruined your life. Sixty-two and a life time of self-esteem issues.
Hey Pandas, What Is The Biggest Lesson You Learned From Your Parents Of What Not To Do With Your Own Kids?
Three things: 1. My mom wouldn't let me leave the table until my plate was clean, and then she would berate me for being overweight. I taught my kids to listen to their tummies, and when they were full, they were done with their meal. 2. My parents would beat me, thinking that was the proper way to teach a child to behave. It taught me that my parents couldn't be trusted and that I should hide my mistakes. I didn't hit my kids, and we were actually able to work through disciplinary issues. Their teachers, other parents, etc. always complimented my well-behaved kids. 3. Lastly, my parents were extremely judgmental and made it clear that their love was conditional. I taught my kids that I love them always, but you can love someone and be angry at them at the same time because of their actions. I also taught them to apologize and make amends and give people some space to cool down. They're much healthier and secure than I was as a kid.Hey Pandas, What Is The Biggest Lesson You Learned From Your Parents Of What Not To Do With Your Own Kids?
Don’t tell your child they are lucky they’re only being beaten with a belt/ curtain rod/ iron cord because their mother used the buckle end.
Hey Pandas, What Is The Biggest Lesson You Learned From Your Parents Of What Not To Do With Your Own Kids?
Don't attempt to recapture your own childhood through your kids. My mom made me do all the things: dance, gymnastics, sports of all kinds. I was a geeky thing that preferred school, school work and books and never had time for that because of the activities I was forced to participate in. I was miserable and my mom berated me for never being enthusiastic about her choices. Now, as a mom, I let my kid decide what she wants to do with her extra time. She's a kindergartener, so her choices are a bit chaotic ("I want to try scuba diving!!" "Mom, can we tie-dye this week?"), but letting her decide the extracurriculars lets her flex her creative muscles. It's not about me, I have a decent grasp on what I like and don't, it's about her finding herself.Hey Pandas, What Is The Biggest Lesson You Learned From Your Parents Of What Not To Do With Your Own Kids?
Dont guilt trip your kid saying how selfish they are if they are feeling suicidal it makes it worse Dont s**t shame your child If your child says they are sexually abused by your partner, don't just " chat" with the partner saying its not ok and sweep it under the rug dont compete with your child for mental issues Let your child interact with others that aren't just family
Hey Pandas, What Is The Biggest Lesson You Learned From Your Parents Of What Not To Do With Your Own Kids?
Don't silence their voices for the sake of "keeping the peace" My siblings and I were emotionally abused for years by one parent, the other would never let us speak up, we had to stay quiet otherwise things would just get worse.... Keep quiet, give them what they want, don't make life difficult for everyone...We grew up unable to speak up for ourselves, no matter what treatment we were put through... it took 40 years before we finally found the strength to stop being silent. Keeping the peace never made things better, it just made the abuser think they could keep getting away with it. (also.... don't emotionally abuse your kids!)
Hey Pandas, What Is The Biggest Lesson You Learned From Your Parents Of What Not To Do With Your Own Kids?
Like many parents, mine believed it was better to insist we eat everything on our plates, even things we absolutely hated. When my 3 kids were young, I encouraged them to try new things and provided a variety of foods (especially healthy options). I never insisted they finish what they took or forced them to try things. They are now healthy teens who eat a wide variety of foods. They love trying new things from different cuisines and are WAY more adventurous than me with their choices! They have a much healthier attitude towards food than I do!Hey Pandas, What Is The Biggest Lesson You Learned From Your Parents Of What Not To Do With Your Own Kids?
Don't brood your kids. Give them lot of love, but don't brood. Encourage them to fly by their own wings. The sooner they get independent, the bigger the return on investment will be. There's nothing more toxic than a brooding mother, or fatherHey Pandas, What Is The Biggest Lesson You Learned From Your Parents Of What Not To Do With Your Own Kids?
Do not use your kids as weapons when going through a divorce. I later got divorced myself and made it clear to my ex that we were going to minimize the impact on our son. She fortunately agreed.
Hey Pandas, What Is The Biggest Lesson You Learned From Your Parents Of What Not To Do With Your Own Kids?
Mental issues are not your children's fault and it is YOUR OWN responsibility as adult to seek help and properly comply with treatment and therapy. Also, suicide is never an act of courage and should never ever be romanticized.
Hey Pandas, What Is The Biggest Lesson You Learned From Your Parents Of What Not To Do With Your Own Kids?
Stop your kids from attacking their siblings and your partner. My brother is a hazard to all of us by now, and I definitely don't want to witness it again if I ever have kids.
Hey Pandas, What Is The Biggest Lesson You Learned From Your Parents Of What Not To Do With Your Own Kids?
Don't give your kids body image issues. Give them the tools to support a healthy body and mind.Hey Pandas, What Is The Biggest Lesson You Learned From Your Parents Of What Not To Do With Your Own Kids?
Do not smother them. Teach them to fly without you. Otherwise, when they have the chance to fly they might be giddy with freedom. Didn't have kids of my own because it would wreck my freedom. Now, later in life, I see it didn't have to.
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Sara Yetsko • submitted a new post 1 year ago
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Sara Yetsko • commented on 4 posts 2 years ago
Sara Yetsko • upvoted 20 items 2 years ago
Hey Pandas, What Is The Biggest Lesson You Learned From Your Parents Of What Not To Do With Your Own Kids?
Please for God’s sake don’t tell your kids you never should have had them, that they ruined your life. Sixty-two and a life time of self-esteem issues.Hey Pandas, What Is The Biggest Lesson You Learned From Your Parents Of What Not To Do With Your Own Kids?
Don't brood your kids. Give them lot of love, but don't brood. Encourage them to fly by their own wings. The sooner they get independent, the bigger the return on investment will be. There's nothing more toxic than a brooding mother, or fatherHey Pandas, What Is The Biggest Lesson You Learned From Your Parents Of What Not To Do With Your Own Kids?
Three things: 1. My mom wouldn't let me leave the table until my plate was clean, and then she would berate me for being overweight. I taught my kids to listen to their tummies, and when they were full, they were done with their meal. 2. My parents would beat me, thinking that was the proper way to teach a child to behave. It taught me that my parents couldn't be trusted and that I should hide my mistakes. I didn't hit my kids, and we were actually able to work through disciplinary issues. Their teachers, other parents, etc. always complimented my well-behaved kids. 3. Lastly, my parents were extremely judgmental and made it clear that their love was conditional. I taught my kids that I love them always, but you can love someone and be angry at them at the same time because of their actions. I also taught them to apologize and make amends and give people some space to cool down. They're much healthier and secure than I was as a kid.Hey Pandas, What Is The Biggest Lesson You Learned From Your Parents Of What Not To Do With Your Own Kids?
Don’t tell your child they are lucky they’re only being beaten with a belt/ curtain rod/ iron cord because their mother used the buckle end.Hey Pandas, What Is The Biggest Lesson You Learned From Your Parents Of What Not To Do With Your Own Kids?
Dont guilt trip your kid saying how selfish they are if they are feeling suicidal it makes it worse Dont s**t shame your child If your child says they are sexually abused by your partner, don't just " chat" with the partner saying its not ok and sweep it under the rug dont compete with your child for mental issues Let your child interact with others that aren't just familyHey Pandas, What Is The Biggest Lesson You Learned From Your Parents Of What Not To Do With Your Own Kids?
Don't silence their voices for the sake of "keeping the peace" My siblings and I were emotionally abused for years by one parent, the other would never let us speak up, we had to stay quiet otherwise things would just get worse.... Keep quiet, give them what they want, don't make life difficult for everyone...We grew up unable to speak up for ourselves, no matter what treatment we were put through... it took 40 years before we finally found the strength to stop being silent. Keeping the peace never made things better, it just made the abuser think they could keep getting away with it. (also.... don't emotionally abuse your kids!)Hey Pandas, What Is The Biggest Lesson You Learned From Your Parents Of What Not To Do With Your Own Kids?
Do not smother them. Teach them to fly without you. Otherwise, when they have the chance to fly they might be giddy with freedom. Didn't have kids of my own because it would wreck my freedom. Now, later in life, I see it didn't have to.Hey Pandas, What Is The Biggest Lesson You Learned From Your Parents Of What Not To Do With Your Own Kids?
Do not use your kids as weapons when going through a divorce. I later got divorced myself and made it clear to my ex that we were going to minimize the impact on our son. She fortunately agreed.Hey Pandas, What Is The Biggest Lesson You Learned From Your Parents Of What Not To Do With Your Own Kids?
Don't attempt to recapture your own childhood through your kids. My mom made me do all the things: dance, gymnastics, sports of all kinds. I was a geeky thing that preferred school, school work and books and never had time for that because of the activities I was forced to participate in. I was miserable and my mom berated me for never being enthusiastic about her choices. Now, as a mom, I let my kid decide what she wants to do with her extra time. She's a kindergartener, so her choices are a bit chaotic ("I want to try scuba diving!!" "Mom, can we tie-dye this week?"), but letting her decide the extracurriculars lets her flex her creative muscles. It's not about me, I have a decent grasp on what I like and don't, it's about her finding herself.Hey Pandas, What Is The Biggest Lesson You Learned From Your Parents Of What Not To Do With Your Own Kids?
Stop your kids from attacking their siblings and your partner. My brother is a hazard to all of us by now, and I definitely don't want to witness it again if I ever have kids.Hey Pandas, What Is The Biggest Lesson You Learned From Your Parents Of What Not To Do With Your Own Kids?
Mental issues are not your children's fault and it is YOUR OWN responsibility as adult to seek help and properly comply with treatment and therapy. Also, suicide is never an act of courage and should never ever be romanticized.Hey Pandas, What Is The Biggest Lesson You Learned From Your Parents Of What Not To Do With Your Own Kids?
Like many parents, mine believed it was better to insist we eat everything on our plates, even things we absolutely hated. When my 3 kids were young, I encouraged them to try new things and provided a variety of foods (especially healthy options). I never insisted they finish what they took or forced them to try things. They are now healthy teens who eat a wide variety of foods. They love trying new things from different cuisines and are WAY more adventurous than me with their choices! They have a much healthier attitude towards food than I do!This Panda hasn't followed anyone yet
